Wow! This took a lot less time than I expected to update. Again, a short chapter (slightly longer than the last one), but stuff happens, so hopefully you'll like it. Though it took me a short(er) time to update this time, don't expect it to happen again...exams this Friday...though if I get hit with inspiration, I'll be able to write when we get four days off after exams.
Well, enjoy!
*****
The Top Ten Reasons Why Harry and I Clearly Would Not Make a Good Couple
By Hermione Jane Granger
We're best friends.
He thinks I should change my name to Lena.
We're too different…wait…no.
We're too alike…no…we're not that either…
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS! Wait…I already used that one, didn't I?
Ginny thinks it's a good idea, and Ginny's always wrong. Well, okay, actually she's not. But in this case, she is.
I think it's a bad idea, and I'm always right. Well, actually, when it comes to romance I have no idea what I'm doing…but that's not the point.
…er…we're…best friends…I can use that three times, right? Okay, right.
Damnit. I have to get back to this one.
*****
"The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life."
~William Wordsworth
*****
"What do you mean you won't take it down?" Hermione demanded of her apathetic head mistress.
"I mean that I won't take it down, Miss Granger," sniffed Professor McGonagall. "And here I thought you were the brightest witch in the school."
After all Hermione had been through this morning, she had half the mind to snap at Professor McGonagall for being condescending. However, Hermione knew she'd regret such a decision tomorrow when she'd be stuck in detention and possibly tested for insanity, and instead replied, "You don't understand, Professor. It's intruding on my personal life. It's causing a complete ruckus amongst the Gryffindors, and it'll only get worse as the day goes on and it spreads throughout the school!"
"I don't know why it bothers you so much that people think so highly of your relationship with Mr. Potter," McGonagall tsked. "When I was your age, I would have adored knowing that everyone approved of my relationship with the one man I loved most."
Hermione blinked twice as she let McGonagall's words pierce her mind, and then dropped her jaw open and half-coughed, half-laughed. She knew Harry had put McGonagall on the list, but for Merlin's sake, she had truly thought that he was joking!
"Professor!" Hermione gasped. "You don't honestly think that Harry and I are…that we're…that is to say…"
"Going out?" McGonagall asked, staring at Hermione curiously. "Of course I do, Miss Granger. All of the teachers were under the impression that you were. And after seeing you two on the Quidditch Pitch that one afternoon…"
"Quidditch pitch?" Hermione asked, confused. "What are you talking about?"
"When Mr. Potter tried to teach you how to properly ride a broom," McGonagall reminded her.
Hermione furrowed her brows and frowned. "He wasn't teaching me how to ride a broom," she said hotly. "He was trying to force me onto one to see whether or not I'd die."
"Is that right?" McGonagall asked, her lips curling into a rarely seen smirk.
"Yes, that's right," Hermione exclaimed in an exasperated tone. She contained her urge to shake the woman standing in front of her. "Harry and I are just friends. Now can you please get someone to take that horrendous article down?"
"If you're just friends, I don't see why it should bother you so much," McGonagall pursed her lips.
Hermione bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. "Because," she explained slowly, "everyone is now under the impression that we are dating, and such rumors aren't healthy for a platonic relationship such as ours!"
"It's only unhealthy if you don't trust that it's completely platonic," McGonagall replied, turning her attention to a stack of parchment. "Not another word on this matter, if you please, Miss Granger. Good day."
Hermione's jaw dropped once again as she gawked at the one woman she had been certain, only a few minutes ago, was her only ally.
"I said good day, Miss Granger," McGonagall told Hermione shortly. "I'll see you on Monday. Now enjoy the rest of your weekend."
"Enjoy my weekend," Hermione laughed under her breath as she made her way out of McGonagall's office and back to the Gryffindor common room to see if she could do any damage control. "Fat chance there."
Hermione entered the common room, only to have every Gryffindor there turn around and stare at her. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Let it up, would you?" she told them as she stalked over to the board to see if there was anything she could do to get rid of the insulting newspaper (although she knew, deep down, that there wasn't). The stares did cease, but were quickly replaced by loud whispers.
"You know, they have the same first two initials!"
"If they got married, they'd be the same…"
"Ginny…" Hermione growled under her breath. That little weasel had spread the word…
"I saw them kissing yesterday!"
"Really?! Where?"
"Out by the lake!"
"Okay, this is enough!" Hermione exploded, glaring at all of the Gryffindors. "Listen to me: Harry and I are not going out. Harry and I never were going out. Harry and I never will go out. And why? Because we are friends. And you!" Hermione steamed, turning on the girl who had claimed to see her kissing Harry. "I never went outside yesterday, so, if you would be so kind, please stop spreading rumors. I have half the mind to take away points for anyone who mentions this again, but," Hermione said reasonably, smoothing out her skirt, "that would be abusing my power. So all I have to say on this matter is, for the love of Merlin, stop this nonsense. Thank you!"
It took Hermione's fellow students merely 22 seconds before the whispers started up again. Hermione flung her arms to her sides.
"I give up," she moaned, "I absolutely give up!" Wanting nothing more than to escape the nonsense, she went upstairs to the head's common room, where she found Ron and Ginny immersed in a rousing match of chess, with Harry next to Ron, giving him horrible advice, from what Hermione could tell.
"Hello," she said to them, making sure to give Ginny a pointed stare.
"`lo, Hermione," Ron said as he leaned his chin on his palm, looking at the board.
"I'm telling you, Ron, move your knight to- " Harry began.
"The last move you suggested to me ended in my losing my Queen," Ron hissed slightly. "So, if you would, shut the bloody hell up."
Harry looked shocked for a moment, and then slightly hurt. "Fine. See if I ever help you again."
"Thank Merlin!" Ron exclaimed, looking relieved.
Ginny, however, looked upset. "Now how am I guaranteed to win?" she pouted.
"Thanks, Gin," Harry spat at her sarcastically. Ginny grinned innocently and then returned to her game. Hermione, realizing that now was a good time to speak with Harry about everything going on concerning their so-called "relationship," grabbed Harry by the arm and dragged him to her room.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed, swatting at her hand once they were inside. "What was that for?"
"I wanted to talk to you about everything that's going around," Hermione told him tersely. "We need to do damage control."
"I assume this means that you were unable to get the newspaper removed?" Harry said, looking up at Hermione.
"No," Hermione sighed, sitting on to her neatly-made bed. "McGonagall seems to really think that we're a couple, or that one of us is interested in the other, and therefore sees no reason in removing it."
"Told you she should be on the list," Harry smirked.
"Oh shut up," Hermione shot at him. "Now is not the time for it." Hermione stretched her arms and deeply breathed in and out. "What are we going to do? The initials thing seems to be the biggest problem at the moment, but there isn't much we can do about that…"
Harry flopped down next to Hermione, and the two sat in silence. Suddenly, Harry shot up; an excited expression on his face that clearly meant that he had an idea.
"What?" Hermione exclaimed, getting up herself. "What is it?"
"I got it!" Harry grinned, turning around to face Hermione. "You can change your first name!"
Hermione laughed. "Oh ha, ha, Harry, very funny," she rolled her eyes. "No, seriously, what's your idea?"
Harry frowned, and answered, "That is my idea."
"Oh," Hermione said, uncertainty creeping into her voice. Was Harry really that mental? And here she thought the only best friend she needed to concern herself with was Ron…
"No, it's perfect," Harry explained. "If you change your first name, then we won't have the same initials."
"Harry, I got what you were saying," Hermione said, slightly maddened. "The idea just won't work."
"Why not?" Harry asked. "Name one thing that's wrong with it."
"Well, for one," Hermione said as if she was talking to a complete imbecile, "it requires changing my name."
"Your point being?"
"I don't want to change my name, Harry!" Hermione said to Harry, her voice slowly rising.
Harry stared at her. "Why not?"
"Because it's my name!" Hermione threw up her hands. "Would you want to give up your name?"
Harry thought for a moment, and then gave in. "No…" he said slowly.
"My point exactly," Hermione replied.
"But…" Harry protested, slightly upset, "but I had the perfect name and everything… Lena!"
"Lena?" Hermione huffed. "You think I look like a Lena?"
"…no?"
Hermione shook her head. "Come on, Harry," she instructed, grabbing his arm once more and leading the way back to Ron and Ginny. "Let's go back before they think we're making out or something."
When they returned, Ginny and Ron were still in the midst of their match. Harry returned to his place next to Ron, observing, while Hermione was content to sit back down on the couch.
"I can't wait for Christmas Break," she announced suddenly. "For the first time in my life, I want nothing more than to get out of here."
"Oh, speaking of break," Ron said, as he succeeded in checking Ginny's King, only to have Ginny figure a way around it ("Damnit!" exclaimed Ron), "Mum said that we're going on holiday."
"Oh really, where?" Harry asked, curious, having never really gone away before (going to Grimmauld Place and the Burrow was more like going home).
"We are going to visit Charlie in Romania," Ginny said, placing an emphasis on the "we."
"What's your point?" Harry asked, looking at Ginny, then at Ron, and then back at Ginny.
Ron looked up from the chessboard, guilt plastered on his face. "I'm so sorry Harry, but Mum said there isn't enough room for you on the trip."
Harry's face fell. "Oh," he said quietly, staring down at his hands.
"It's not that she doesn't think of you as family!" Ginny added quickly. "It's just that there truly isn't room, and you'd be absolutely squashed and miserable. You'll be much more comfortable here, I'm sure." Ron nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
Hermione, however, knew better. She watched Harry quietly, recognizing that what was most likely going through his head at that very moment was how he would have to spend Christmas alone in Hogwarts - not that he didn't like Hogwarts. Hermione knew he loved it. But if there was one thing Harry loathed, it was being alone. It was then that the perfect idea occurred to her.
"I'll ask mum if you can stay with us," Hermione told Harry gently. "We're just staying home for Christmas, and she seems to be in love with you, at least to the point where she wants you as a son-in-law, so I'm positive that there will be no trouble."
Harry's face brightened. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't want to impose or anything…"
"Oh stop it," Hermione said, trying to scold Harry, only to break into a small fit of laughter. "It'll be great. Mum will have the time of her life setting up your room, and dad always goes on and on about how he's outnumbered by females." Hermione placed her hand on Harry's shoulder, giving him a small, reassuring shake. "Don't worry about it. I'll owl Mum tomorrow and ask. I'm positive she'll be thrilled."
Harry's smile grew wider, and Hermione couldn't help but feel pleased herself. It would be nice having Harry around and showing him where she grew up.
"Sounds like it will be a simply wonderful Christmas," Ginny whispered to Ron, and the two siblings exchanged satisfied smirks.
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