Hermione couldn't bear the crushing guilt. It had gnawed at her for three days and Harry hadn't spoken a word at her. The odd thing was that he didn't seem angry. Whenever she looked at him, she saw a pain so deep that it cut her. But it wasn't as if she saw him often. He avoided her whenever possible and took to going straight to his dormitory when dinner was over. Sometimes he didn't even come down for dinner or breakfast.
It was one of those breakfasts that he didn't come down for that Hermione finally cracked.
"Where is he?" she asked Ron.
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. He's gone when I wake up. All I know is that he shows up for Charms on time and that he's there before we get there."
"Ron, how bad did I hurt him?"
"I've only seen him like this in fifth year. You remember how he was, always moody and shouting." He fumbled for the words. "It's that sort of confusion without the yelling. He won't talk anymore; I can't even get a hello out of him. It doesn't look like he'll get out of it soon either."
"Ron, I'm going to go find him." She stepped away from the table at exactly the same moment the bell rang for the first class of the day.
Ron stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, he'll be there. You can talk to him after class."
Once they got there, there was no Harry. Fifteen minutes later, there was still no Harry. They looked at one another in confusion and deepened into concern when he didn't show up for the class.
"Do you think he's left?" Hermione asked Ron as they walked toward a staircase.
"No, but I'm not sure where he is. Maybe he'll show up in my class. I'll tell you if he does."
"Okay, but if he doesn't we're going to look for him. See you after class," she said and they parted ways.
Arithimacy went by at an excruciating pace. Where was he? He wouldn't run off without telling them. At least, he usually wouldn't. He probably thought they couldn't care less. More so, he thought she couldn't care less. All of her guilt threatened to overwhelm her. She stared out of the window the entire class, not even noticing when Professor Vector let them out of class early because of their excellent test scores. He had to tap on her desk four times before she finally began to pack up.
"Are you alright, Ms. Granger? You seem a bit distracted," he queried with interest.
"I'm okay, Professor. Just worried about a friend," she answered as she walked out of the door.
She walked toward the Great Hall, hoping to find Ron so they could search for Harry. She passed a window with her head down in thought. She saw a moving figure outside at the corner of her eye and for a moment she thought she saw a mass of black, messy hair. Looking out of the window, she saw that she had been correct. He gripped his Firebolt and trudged toward the Quidditch pitch, unaware of Hermione watching him.
Hermione ran to the large oak doors and chased him down. "Harry!" she cried.
He turned his head and for a second, she saw a euphoric gleam in his eyes. It faded away just as soon as she saw it and he turned away, not changing his pace.
"Harry, please wait!"
He slowed his gait and waited for her to catch up and returned to his original speed when she reached his side.
"Harry," she said in between breaths, "talk to me. Please."
He made no sign that he heard her.
"Why weren't you in class today?"
"It's not like the war didn't teach all that we need to know," he intoned.
She conceded at his point and they walked to the Quidditch pitch in silence. After a few moments she glanced at his face and said clearly, "I'm sorry for what I did. It wasn't right and I should have told you the truth the day of and not a week later."
"That's not what's bothering me the most, though," he replied. "I can see why you did it. It wasn't right, but I see why. It was for the protection of my feelings, so I wouldn't fall into myself." He snorted and continued, "Kind of like I am now. But what really scares me is the fact that in a flash, I won't be able to love you like I am now. I'll have to be alone again and watch you with guys like McLaggen." He angrily kicked a stone out of his path. "Guys that don't really care about you like I do or see past that brainy exterior to the girl who wants a hug inside."
Hermione was surprised at the venom in his voice he talked about McLaggen. "Well, there's somebody out there-"
"Yeah, and that's me! I'm that guy!" He stopped and turned to face her. "I want to stay with you, we belong together! And this stupid spell," he ended, frustrated, and started again in a calmer tone, "it's put a block there. It's as if you expect me to find someone else and leave you alone. I'm not, ever. I'll be your friend for always. You have to trust me and know that in spite of this spell that's what I'm going to do."
She stood there and wondered at the conviction in his words. He had never shown this type of emotion towards her and she realized that he was right, she had put a block there. He wanted to be, over everything else, her friend. The guilt rose in her throat. "I didn't mean to," she told him after letting his speech sink in.
He smiled. "I know, but I don't care."
"So you forgive me just like that?"
"I love you, Hermione. That's what people in love do when petty stuff comes up."
Amused, she thought, I'm completely speechless for once.
"Hermione, are you going to come watch me fly? Please come," he pleaded.
"I can't. I have some things I need to do for Professor Slughorn before we go to his class."
His face fell slightly. "Oh, okay. I'll see you at Potions, then?"
"Most definitely," she laughed and did something that surprised her, and kissed him on the cheek. He put a hand up to his cheek and numbly waved good-bye to Hermione as she walked off.
Hermione wasn't there his loop-de-loops around the pitch and his feeling of doing them on the ground when he came down an hour later.
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