A/N: The title came to me as I watched the sequence in GoF when Moody shows Harry's class the unforgivables. Happy reading!
Children of war
I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask,
"Mother, what was war?"
~Eve Merriam
My dearest Hermione; my friend, my companion, the mother of my future child,
I leave this letter for you with my heart bleeding every time my fingers touch the ink and parchment, with my eyes betraying how weak I can be and how much I love you.
Who would have imagined that three simple words would be all one needed to get enough courage to face those red slits... to look at death straight in the eye and not cower and hid in the corner. Yeah, put it in the news if you wish, Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived wants to run and hide at the sole thought of Voldemort and the final battle. How brave of me, isn't it? To say his name without the faintest shiver... but these shivers run deeper than anything; my blood freezes from the shivers. But no one except my sweet Hermione knows, and she knows without my even uttering a whisper.
Right now I tell you, my love, I am scared to death of what I am about to do, but death will only come at his hands, or at mine. That day you gave me the biggest joy I could have ever hoped for, but you also gave me the final push towards the unbeatable destiny I have postponed for far too long. You see, I don't want our child to be like us... children of war. I was remembering the other day, fourth year, (fake) Moody showing us how the unforgivables worked and I saw, for the first time now how deep within us the First War dug. Granted, we would experience it ourselves in the future, but just now I saw Neville again, I saw myself, I see Ron now, yourself... all children of war, and I don't want that for our child, Hermione, it is not fair for her (or him) or for anyone else that has to lose a parent, a brother, an uncle... You see how I can't let that happen?
I know you will be upset, mad, even hate me maybe because you swore on your heart that you would follow me wherever this quest led (you and Ron both did, and I can't even begin to thank you for all that), but you knew, deep down, that at a certain time I would have to continue (and finish) on my own, and this time has come now. I am ready thanks to you and the child to come... our child.
I don't want her or him to see an unfoirgivable curse and see his father, her sister, his mother in that curse. I don't want him imagining this was how his parents were torn from their minds and from him. I don't want her seeing the empty looks her parents probably had when they were murdered. I don't want him or her watching their brother throw himself from a cliff again because someone thought it would be fun. I don't want his dreams to be crowded with his mother's screams as she dies to protect him.
No, this has to end now, and your words, our future, has finally given me the strength to do what I must... when nothing else did. Not my parents, or Neville's. Not Cedric, Sirius or Dumbledore. Not your parents' murder, or Charlie's Imperio-ed suicide. Nothing of that had given me the strength to separate myself from you and finally fight Voldemort to death, but when you said those three words, Harry, I'm pregnant, I felt it inside me and I knew the time had come.
So please forgive me, Hermione, my love, for doing this, but I am leaving to Godric's Hollow. I am returning to where my parents were mudered because I know Voldemort will be awaiting me there. And I wll please ask you, Ron, Neville and Ginny to stay behind and hope for the best. I know it is too much to ask, but that is (in case I don't return to you and our child), my last wish. I don't want their children and our child to be children of war and the soonest I end this, the better for everyone.
But please remember this, Mione. You have always been and will always be my heart, my soul, my entire world. I am sure you have read this a million times in one of those cheesy novels you love, but I have always loved you, even when I was too thick to see it. I will be yours for eternity and more; yours and our child's.
With all my love, hopes and fears, I leave my heart to you. Forever and a day, my Hermione.
Harry
* * *
When she finished reading her letter, she could hear her own heart breaking in a million pieces, and she was sure she could hear her-their baby crying inside her. The red gem on the silver and gold band fell from her hands and she just stared as it rolled on the teal carpet. They had chosen it together; not too bright, nor too dead... perfect for the studio it was right now, and for the baby's room, five months from now.
The rain outside poured harder than ever; accompanying the streams that had formed down Hermione's cheeks. She could feel, from far away a hand on her shoulder, and it pulled her towards a body that wasn't Harry's. She smelled the scarlet sweater and nearly flinched when her senses didn't meet Harry's Paco Raban.
She let the strong arms of her other best friend move her to the nearest leather couch as she lost all feel on her legs and all the strength left her. Harry was gone, and she didn't know if he was ever coming back from her. All she could do was prey to the ancient powers of magic to bring her Harry back to her and their unborn child; undeniably a child of war.
~ . ~
A/N: Now, I don't know if this will lead to a chaptered story. I have left the possibility open, but I wouldn't hold my breath, lol. I hope you liked it; it was kind of an experiment, I s'ppose. Anyway, until next time! Please R&R, reviews keep me going!
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