Shadow Master Normal Shadow Master 4 11 2003-07-17T05:16:00Z 2003-07-17T05:58:00Z 1 3290 18759 Home 156 44 22005 10.2625 Clean Clean 0 0 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4
Chapter 7: Last Respects
Harry fell asleep right after he had gotten into bed. His mind was peaceful and content for the first time in days.
Harry was in some sort of Zen Garden. Like something you would see in China or Japan, where people would practice their martial arts training skills. What am I supposed to do? Harry thought. As soon as the question left his head, the answer filled its spot. Train your mind.
What the? How am I supposed to do that?
Do you think that you are awake right now?
Yes.
You have a lot to learn about this place, and what you are. You aren't awake right now, but you aren't asleep or dead either. You are in a suspended state between living and dead.
What do you mean?
This is how you will train your mind to make your own body faster, stronger, more agile. Everything starts in the mind.
You sound like Dumbledore, giving out all of these vague hints.
What if I told you I spoke to him, at three o' clock in your world?
What do you mean 'my world'?
Do you honestly think that I am alive?
You're, dead?
Exactly. It seems you need help on your first day. I guess, we'll test your reflexes.
All of a sudden, a small rock flew at his face. He leaned his body to the right, making the rock miss his head, and jumped to the side, doing a no-handed cartwheel, and landed on a large rock.
Very good, but can be better.
Then three more rocks flew at him, and at all different directions. Harry slid down a flat, angled side, and let the three rocks crash into each other.
Nice, Harry. I'm sorry, but your training must end for today.
Why?
Time in this world, and time in your world, are relative to the person's mind. You can make this go as fast or as slow as you want. I believe that one of your female friends found out the password to your room, and is attempting to wake you up. You must go.
"HARRY!" a voice screamed in his ear.
"What? Who's there?" he asked groggily, looking at the person's blurred face. All he could see was a large clump of bushy brown hair, "Hermione?"
"Yes, it's me. Now get up and get down to breakfast."
That whole day went by slow for Harry. None of the classes he had did anything important, not even Defense. All they did was a lesson on some of the newest offensive spells, including Dubrinks, which had the ability to create the explosion of a person, animal, or piece of earth as powerful as 1 pound of C4, and Grecarbra, which sent a ball of blue light at target, making them fly backwards, hitting anything in their path.
Harry's mind was on one thing and one thing only. Wednesday. The day he would finally say goodbye. He still remembered the end of last year, sitting in Dumbledore's office.
Harry walked in to the office. It looked how it usually looked, except for Dumbledore was in it, not the hag Dolores Umbridge. He sat down in the seat in front of the large wooden desk sitting in the room, wondering if he'll be able to make it to Cho's funeral.
Dumbledore was standing at the window, watching the sunrise, and looking like he would never be happy again. Sirius had popped out of the fire. He ruffled Harry's hair a little bit and sat down into the chair next to him.
"Um, Professor Dumbledore, I was wonder-"
"I know what you want to ask." he said, "you're wondering if you will be able to go to Miss Chang's funeral."
Harry closed his eyes, letting the words sink in to his mind. Every night since the attack, Harry had wished he would open his eyes, and wake up from this nightmare. Every day when he closed his eyes, he wished he would wake up, lying on the couch in the prefect common room/meeting room, with Cho sleeping in his arms. Every time he closed his eyes, he would open them again, and realize that this was real, and that she was really gone.
Harry nodded. Tears were threatening to spill over. The back of his eyes stung. He wished Sirius would look away. He didn't want to feel weak around him. He felt something wet flow down his face. The tears made good on their threat. They were starting to flow down his face.
"Harry, I know this is hard. I know that you loved her very much."
Harry couldn't say anything. His mouth was dry, but his cheeks were wet and tear-stained. Reality was sinking in again.
"Will I, be able to, professor?" Harry asked, his voice, quavering.
Dumbledore paused for a moment, looking as if he was trying to choke out the words. Finally, he spoke, pronouncing every syllable, "I am afraid, that you cannot attend Cho's funeral, Harry."
Harry's mouth dropped, "Why not? Is it the possibility of a death eater attack? If it is, I'd rather risk it. It'll be the last chance for me to say goodbye." Harry said through his sobs.
"Harry, if that were the only reason, I, personally, would make sure you would be there, with as much protection as we could put up. But, that is not the case."
"Then, what is it?"
"The Changs," Dumbledore said stiffly, "have asked that you not attend."
"WHAT?!" Sirius bellow, outraged beyond what Harry had ever seen from him, "HOW COULD THEY…?"
"Sirius," Harry interrupted, before Sirius couldn't control himself, "It's okay. I understand why they don't want me there. They blame me. Honestly, I can't blame them for that."
"THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO!" Sirius bellowed. He stood up, fuming, and faced the headmaster, "YOU CAN'T TELL ME YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET THIS STAND!" Sirius lowered his voice, "Harry deserves a proper chance to say goodbye!"
Dumbledore bowed his head, letting the tears fall out of his eyes. Dumbledore looked at Sirius like a helpless man, "This is one thing, I'm afraid to say, is out of my hands. If Andrew and Kelly do not want Harry at their only daughter's funeral, then there is nothing I can do to change that. While what I believe that what they're asking is shameful, beyond a doubt, I am the one who has no right to go against their wishes."
He looked at Harry, he could barely see anything, even though he had his glasses on, his tears were obscuring his vision. Dumbledore opened his mouth, "I'm so sorry, Harry." he said quietly, "I would have never thought that they would want it this way. Cho loved you, and they know this."
"Harry?" a male voice asked, snapping his fingers in front of his face, "You awake?"
Ron, Ginny, and Hermione saw tears streaming down his face while he was sleeping.
"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked him.
Harry quickly wiped back the tears, "I'm fine. I'm just going to go upstairs and get some sleep."
"Alright, do you need any of us to come with you?"
"No, I'll be fine."
Harry waked up the spiral staircase to the sixth year boys room. He sat down on his bed and started to cry. Why does it have to be like this? Why did you have to be stripped away from me? Harry fell asleep, with the dream he was having continuing from where it had ended
"It's alright." Harry muttered, sounding calmer than how he was feeling. He couldn't feel his heart anymore. It was gone, ripped from him, now nothing was left but the grief Harry felt, remembering Cho's last words as they echoed through his mind, "I…love…you."
Harry continued, "I wouldn't want me there either." he shrugged, "now that I'm thinking about it, if Voldemort sent anyone… well… it would be a dishonor to her memory to have that happen at her funeral."
"It's a dishonor to her memory, not to have you there!" Sirius spat, vehemently, "When will they be arriving? I want to speak-"
"Sirius, please!!" Harry cried out suddenly, "Just let it go," he finished in barely a whisper, his mouth dry, his face soaked, the pain leaking through his eyes, "I don't want to fight over this…I can't…"
Harry buried his face in his hands. He wasn't going to wake up from a nightmare. Cho was dead, and he'd have to accept it. But I can't accept it. Why is it so hard to do that?
Sirius looked at him. His face had a mix of sadness and defeat, "I won't say anything…if that's what you want. But they are treating this as if it is your fault…and I want to know…I want to hear it from your mouth…that you don't blame yourself. You are not responsible for what happened."
Harry fell silent, and closed his eyes. His mind was pondering the question Sirius had asked. Harry had been blaming himself for days about what happened, now to be asked to hear the exact opposite of what he had convinced himself was the hardest thing he had to do.
Harry woke up, he couldn't take it anymore. The pain of his dreams, his nightmares, it was all too painful. He sat up, got out of his bed, and looked out of the window, his back leaning against the side of the window frame.
His face was glistening with tears. Harry relived all of the pain he faced at the end of the year. He'd lost nearly everything. He'd lost her.
"I miss you so much, Cho." he whispered.
He sat there, looking out of the window, until the sun came up. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to relive those days. The days from last year that haunted his mind. Maybe today those would end. Maybe today, after he would say goodbye.
He dressed quickly into his school clothes and walked down to the Great Hall early. Tears fell down his face, remembering all the times he had gotten up early to meet with Cho down here, who always like to eat breakfast early, because of the peace and quiet that it had.
He saw someone approach from his left. It was Sirius.
"How you feeling?" he asked Harry, looking at him. Sirius looked at his godson with extreme caution. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe this is going to hurt him too much.
"I just relived the morning Dumbledore told me I wasn't able to go to the funeral, how do you think I'm feeling?"
Sirius sat down, facing Harry. He didn't like this. He didn't like just waiting around, not helping Harry through the pain he was feeling, "If you don't want to do this today-"
Harry cut him off, "I have to do this. I'll never be able to let her go if I don't."
Sirius looked at Harry with a deep respect that no one would be able to understand. So young, yet faced so many dangers. Faced so many perils. Held so much pain.
"Alright. You're going to skip my class, and head straight down to Hogsmeade, ok?"
"That's fine with me."
"I better get back up to the staff table. Have a good day."
"I'll try." Harry said, his voice quavering.
Harry went back to eating his breakfast. His hunger wasn't really there, so eating was hard. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny walked in a few minutes later.
"We skip our last class and head down to Hogsmeade." Harry said, not wanting to get on the subject of his feelings with them right about then.
Hermione noticed how sad he was, "Are you al-?"
"I don't want to talk about this, alright?"
She nodded her head, but dropped the subject, obviously not wanting to get into an argument. Ron opened his mouth to say something, but a stern look at him from Ginny told him to be quiet.
Everyone was in the hall now, eating, chatting about their first couple days. Only four people weren't talking. Harry, and his three friends that Needa Kirington didn't know. She walked over to them, wondering what was wrong.
"Hey, Harry."
He just turned his head away from her. She looked to the bushy-haired girl, who had her eyes down on her plate. Next to the red-haired man, whose own eyes went downward, and stopped on his own plate.
She then realized what was wrong when she saw the slip of paper in Harry's hand. She could barely make out Professor Dumbledore's handwriting, but she could read it was to the cemetery in Hogsmeade. She knew where they were going.
"Harry, I'm sorry that you couldn't go to Cho's funeral. I know that you loved her, what kind of appointment was it again?"
"What appointment?" Harry asked, his voice void of emotion,
"The appointment that you had that made you miss the funeral. What kind was it again?"
"He didn't have an appointment," the bushy-haired one said, "Cho's parents didn't want him to go."
"What! No they would never do that!"
"Well they did." The red-haired one said, standing on his feet, "and I think you need to leave before you make Harry anymore upset than he already is."
Needa backed away. She looked down at Harry one more time, and agreed that he was right. She walked off, worrying about Harry.
The bell rang. Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked out of the Great Hall, and to Transfiguration. They took three seats in the back, and waited for the class to start. Professor McGonagall walked in the classroom a few minutes later, worried.
"Good morning class. This year, we will be learning Human Transfiguration. This can be very dangerous, considering that what ever you do, might be permanent if you mess anything up. Now, the best students from this, they will go on to my advanced N.E.W.T. class and learn to become Animagi. I warn you, no one in the last century, has ever accomplished this."
Everyone was quiet as she said this. Prof. McGonagall continued, "ANY horsing around in this class will mean immediate removal from the class, and suspension from the school."
The class gasped. She had given this same warning before, but it was less severe than the one she was giving them now. Professor McGonagall aimed her wand at Harry,
"Bibilveria!" she cried. Harry's arms grew larger to the size of a muggle bodybuilder. All of the girls looked at him like he was something to eat. McGonagall pointed her wand at Harry again, "Bibilverio!" and his arms shrunk to normal size.
"That spell, is the simplest of human transfiguration I can teach you, and the spell you will be learning today. The correct pronunciation is bib-ill-ver-e-ah, and the counter spell is bib-ill-ver-e-oh. You have the entire class period to practice this spell, for it is the hardest you have ever been taught, although that statement will not stay true for long."
She walked to the back of the room, where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting. Ron and Hermione were practicing the spell on each other. Harry on the other hand, looked distant, his mind somewhere else. She knew where that place was.
"You three, see me after class." And she walked back to the front of the room, and fixing the damage Neville Longbottom had done on Seamus Finnegan, making his arms not very muscular, but flat as boards.
The class went by quickly, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione went up to the desk at the end of it, to see two crisp, black suits with ties, and one crisp black dress.
"Professor, what are these for?" Hermione asked Prof. McGonagall.
"You're going to Miss Chang's grave today, aren't you?"
A look of understanding crossed Hermione's face as she picked up the dress in front of her.
"Harry, there is one other thing that Professor Black wanted you to have."
She reached under the table and pulled out a long black trench coat.
"It was your father's. He would have given to you, had he been here."
Harry took the cloak with tears in his eyes. He unfolded it a little bit to see a pair of leather gloves lying inside the fold.
"Thank you professor."
She nodded her head, and turned to a stack of papers. The three left the room silently.
"I guess we better change into these, just so we're ready." Hermione said, and started walking up to her dorm. Ron and Harry followed, but Harry wasn't watching where his feet were going. He just let them carry him up to his dormitory.
They all entered they're respective rooms, put on their clothes and school robes again, but Harry carrying his father's trench coat. They walked down to the great hall together, where lunch was almost finished.
"Let's just go to Charms, there's not use eating now." The Charms class was a little ways away, and when they got there, the Great Hall had already depleted.
"Harry, what do you got that for?" Dean Thomas asked him, looking at the trench coat.
"Nothing Dean, just go away, alright?"
"Alright, man. I didn't mean anything."
Charms was as dull as ever. Another lesson full of essays and lectures. Three o' clock came around, and everyone filed out of the classroom, heading to the Defense classroom. Harry, Ron and Hermione split from them, meeting Ginny in the Entrance Hall.
Ginny saw Harry as he walked in. He looked the worst she had seen him in months. His head, bowed. His eyes, barely open. His body, hunched. He looked like he was going through a repeat of the summer in one day's time.
"Harry, are you alright?"
"I'm fine." he said, his tone of voice betraying his words.
Hermione put her hands on his shoulders, "Are you sure you're ok?"
"Hermione, I'm fine."
She looked at him with uncertainty, and then took her hands off of his shoulders. She backed away slowly, and started to walk out of the doors of the Entrance Hall. It started to rain as hard as it had in their fourth year. One of the horseless carriages was waiting for them just outside of the doors.
Harry slipped on his father's trench coat, while Hermione summoned an umbrella from her room. Ron went outside to open the door to the carriage, and then got in himself. Harry followed him, with Hermione and Ginny not far behind.
The ride down to Hogsmeade was silent, nobody wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to cause disrespect to Cho. They all looked at Harry, who had closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the carriage wall, tears coming down his face.
Harry sat in the carriage, basking in the silence of the ride. His eyes closed, the picture of the girl that once slept in his arms burned into the back of his mind. His ears rang with her laughter when he said or did something funny.
They reached Hogsmeade station in a minute's time, and they walked up the street towards the cemetery. On the way there, Harry turned into Madam Tevall's, a small floral shop close to the cemetery.
"Can I have two black roses, please?" Harry asked the Madam Tevall, who was behind the counter. She went to one of the cases behind her, and picked up two black roses.
"Is there any type of arrangement that you would like them in, sir?" she asked him, in a suspicious tone, looking at his scar.
"Uh, have the stems wrapped around each other, please?"
She did what Harry asked and handed him the two roses. Harry paid two galleons for them, and walk out of the shop, back on to the path to the cemetery. He entered the polished bronze gates, and saw a family there, burying a family member. Harry turned away quickly, the tears threatening to overcome him.
There was a map of the cemetery located at the main building. So Harry checked it, to see that Cho was in the very back of the entire place. They had a long walk ahead of them.
It took Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny fifteen minutes to cross the cemetery lot. Harry looked around at all of the gravestones, seeing all of those that had died, and wondering how many more will. They finally reached Cho's grave, and Hermione held Ron and Ginny back, giving Harry his space.
Harry walked to where the headstone was, reading inscription on it.
Cho Natalie Chang
June 24th, 1979 - June 6th, 1996
t
We will remember, the lives that were taken
We will remember, the lives that were shaken
We will remember, the hearts that were broken
We will remember, the words that were spoken
Things will never be the same
But there will never be any blame
For this child was chosen by god
And he is our king…
Harry smiled through the tears the will flowing like rivers down his face. He remembered what she had told him about her parents, and that her mother would always sing that to her before she went to sleep when she was younger. He remembered all of the times they fell asleep in the prefect common/meeting room, she would always sing that out loud. All of the memories of her came flooding back.
The rain was pouring as hard as ever. Harry looked down at the grave of the girl who was once his girlfriend. He refused to call Cho his ex, because she was taken away from him, in the worst way possible. There was no fight. The relationship was never ended because of one another's stubbornness.
Harry placed the two roses on top of the gravestone.
"I miss you so much." he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. His emotions were taking over. His mind couldn't bear anymore of the pain. He was letting go of everything he had. All of the questions he had ever asked himself over the past few months were ready to fly out of his mouth.
Harry fell to his knees. His legs, unable to support his own weight. His heart letting everything out. His arms rested on the top of the stone, his head rested on them. He wept. He wept the hardest anyone could ever weep. He wept for Cho, for Cedric, for his parent, for anyone that had died in this war. He wished it would end. All of the pain, the suffering, all of the torment, he wished it would end.
A voice filled Harry's ears, it sang something he would sing to Cho, just before she said her prayer.
You Fill me up
You're in my Veins
A look could take my breath away
And all these things
You give away
Sometimes I take for granted
The crying stopped. Harry couldn't cry anymore. Then a wind swept around the entire cemetery. He stood, and looked down at the gravestone one more time. It was different, but only because five flaming words were floating in front of it.
I Love You, Harry Potter.
The words changed, reforming to make new words.
I don't want you to hurt anymore.
Let me go.
Goodbye, Harry.
"Goodbye, Cho."
His heart no longer felt empty. His heart was there again, he was complete once more. His pain was gone. Harry turned away, to go back up to the school. When that happened, one on the roses untangled itself from the other, fell off of the tombstone, and floated away in a small river of water that was created from the rain.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Hey all! I know my last chapter was a disgrace, but I hope to have redeemed myself with this one! That lone "t" was actually a cross using a different font. Sorry about that! Watch for the next one, Chapter 8: The Trainer coming soon!