Disclaimer: I own a severe hangover and that is about it!
Chapter 11 - As the Owl Turns
Silence… There was silence again. The walls of Malfoy Manor loomed large around Draco, seeming to swallow him whole. He had never truly understood how desolate his home was.
Now that she's gone - it's silent.
Draco never thought that he would admit that a Weasley could make his home feel more…well homey. But she had. Disgusting really he thought. How had ha managed to let someone into his life.
Instead of pondering this idea, like he had been doing since the moment Professor Dumbledore arrived yesterday to take her away, Draco arose from his chair and made for the front door. Flying would do him good.
Before he could make it to the polished mahogany doors, a bundle of feathers propelled themselves directly into his chest.
"Oof!" Draco caught the jittering mass of feathers and stared in abject horror at what he presumed was some sort of owl.
The small owl lifted off the palm of his hand and excitedly fluttered about, making small noises of impatience. Draco, amidst all the movement, was able to see a letter attached to the owl's leg. He moved to untie it, struggling with the owl.
Proud that its duty had been completed, Pigwidgeon, flew around Draco's head anxious for praise and perhaps an owl treat.
"Go! You don't need to wait for a reply!" Pig's flitting slowed a bit as he slowly made his way toward an open window. He wasn't sure if a reply was necessary but he sure as hell would not send it with that owl!
Draco held the roll of parchment in his hand, wondering who the letter could be from, he took a seat at his desk.
The letter began simply
Draco -
The handwriting was distinctly female.
I'm here. I'm sure you are surprised to see me writing you already, after all I've haven't even been home for a full day.
A smile crept into his features. Ginny. Her letters were just like her in person, full of chatter.
I hate to say this but I think I actually miss your great monstrosity of a home. Now don't go thinking that it's you I miss, just your house.
Impertinent chit! He was glad he supposed that her return had not been so bad that she could joke with him now. A warning bell went off Draco's head at that thought. This was typically Ginny, joking and teasing were her defense mechanisms.
I know what you are thinking right now… and no I am not being cocky! You are sure there is something wrong and that's why I am joking around with you. I'll be honest with you there is…
Percy's gone. I came home to be told that Percy died in the battle.
Draco paused in his reading. The news wasn't a surprise to him, he had known after Potter had shown up and accused him of hurting Ginny. Draco had inquired to professor Dumbledore, oh so politely, as to what the hell Potter was talking about. Dumbledore had cautioned Draco from relaying this message to Ginny in her current state. As she recovered it slipped his mind, and when he did remember he felt it perhaps something she should hear from her family.
Ginny had talked with him a bit during their time together about her older brother Percy. Of all her brothers, she had often felt a connection with Percy. She thought it odd since he was so stuffy most of the time. But it was those times where he let down his guard; they had occurred most frequently with her, that you saw the real Percy. He had been especially understanding of her, and her troubles at school and with Ron. He was sort of the odd brother out himself. Bill and Charlie were older, the twins always had themselves, and Ron had Harry and Hermione. That left Ginny and Percy. Unlikely confidants.
That must have broken her heart. He wondered how she was doing. She had worried herself sick several times the night before she left, wondering how her family would react. He hoped this hadn't made the situation worse.
I don't know how to react. I loved Perce so much, and I didn't get any chance to say goodbye. I don't even know where he is buried.
Everything was so awkward when I came home. Mum was trying so hard to make me feel welcome. It was almost too much, like she was trying to hard, like she was trying to compensate for something. All my brothers were there. They each came up to talk with me, but nothing felt normal.
I guess I shouldn't expect that everything would be normal, but after all that has happened that is all that I wanted.
It was especially hard to talk to Ron, he seemed to be questioning me, wondering what my motives were. I know you said to be prepared for that, but its one thing to think about it, but its an entirely different issue to actually be confronted with it.
The worst part was that Harry was there. He stood there giving me sad eyes. I kept wondering if he had told my family that I was staying with you, and if so were did that convict me in their eyes.
On one hand I wish they did know, then all the silent accusations would be explained and I wouldn't have to wonder if they just thought these terrible thoughts about me, based solely on my merits. I'm sorry to say this to you. I know you are none of these things, I know that you are beautiful person, but no one else does.
Draco sighed, he understood exactly what she was saying. He small compliment imbedded in her statement caught him off guard. Draco Malfoy a beautiful person? He begged to differ and he gathered so would the rest of the world. But he took her compliment, internalized it and kept it for a rainy afternoon where he could think more on it, if the spirit moved him. Not bloody likely though!
I'm sorry for my ramblings here. I am sitting in my room, my god-awful childhood room - look how you have spoiled me - staring at pictures on the walls. I can't sleep, there are too many thoughts swirling though my head, I see pictures of Percy, pictures of Ron, Harry and Hermione. But, I find that there are no pictures of me, it's almost as if I didn't exist in their world. Listen to me ramble on about things I have no knowledge!
Ginny deftly changed the topic away from her melancholy musing.
Anyway I wanted to let you know that I miss you - there you go I said it! Now take that smirk off your face and write me a letter back. - I don't know how I will make it the rest of this week before school starts without you.
Ginny
Sorry about the owl its Ron's I know he isn't up to Malfoy standards.
Draco stared at the letter for an indefinite period of time. There was so much said in the letter and yet so much left unsaid.
He missed her too. It pained him to admit it but he did.
Draco rummaged through his desk produced a quill and parchment and set about writing a letter to… his friend… Ginny Weasley.
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Ginny sat atop her yellow comforter. She smoothed its worn patchwork squares with one hand. It was so unlike the silk brocade she had become accustomed to at Malfoy Manor. Yet this blanket was filled with love and memories. The love and memories for the most part were able to outweigh the loneliness and hurt that now swirled around her heart. Ginny felt at war with herself. Her family had always been a rock. They were quirky and poor, yet deep down, even when her mother was being overprotective; she always thought that they loved her and that that love was unconditional. Was she wrong?
Ginny was interrupted from further ruminations by a knock at her door. She knew it couldn't be her brothers they never knocked.
"Yes" Ginny responded.
"Can I come in?" The voice of Harry Potter replied.
Ginny sighed, was she ready for this. She knew it was coming; so she had better get it over with now.
"I'm decent, come on in."
Harry slowly pushed the door open and hesitantly walked in. It looked to Ginny almost as if he were dreading this talk as well.
Harry neared her desk and gestured toward the small wooden chair that rested in front of her desk. Ginny inclined her head inviting him to sit.
"So… Did you sleep well?" Harry leaned forward with his hands clasped and asked Ginny.
Ginny stared at him for a minute. Did he really expect to sit and chat about their lives? Ginny had a pounding headache from lack of sleep and she wasn't in the mood to deal with this. She rubbed her thumbs slowly over her temples trying to ease the intense throbbing.
Harry sighed; he should have known that circling the issue would accomplish little except to annoy Ginny.
"I wanted to apologize to you Ginny." Harry suddenly began. He stood up, suddenly unable to sit still in the small green chair.
There was little that could have come out of Harry's mouth that could have shocked Ginny more than that last statement. She watched him pace the small confines of her room.
Harry continued on as Ginny watched in utter shock. "I wanted to apologize for my actions at the Malfoys. I don't know how much you remember, but I obviously frightened you a great deal."
Ginny didn't remember him directly, she remembered angry green eyes and black swooping robes.
"It's okay Harry, you don't need to apologize for that. Really anyone could have scared me at that precise moment."
"Stop Ginny, don't let me off the hook." Harry needed to get the heaviness of his mistreatment of the girl in front of him, off his heart. "I have been a bleeding arsehole."
Ginny's mouth formed a surprised 'o'.
Harry braced himself; it was time to face up to what bothered him most. "I'msorryIdidn't saveyou…" He rushed his last statement out in one breath, expelling it from his soul.
"wha…" Ginny began unable to form coherent words.
Harry took a deep breath and began again. "I'm sorry Ginny. I'm sorry that I wasn't there at the end when you needed me." He stalled his pacing and faced Ginny who sat completely still on her small bed.
"I'm so sorry, that you were hurt and that I ignored you. I'm sorry that, that prat, Malfoy had to find you."
The haze with which Ginny was taking in all his words was broken by his harsh reference to Draco. Her eyes glinted with anger. All his past apologizes seemed to fly from her head with his last comment.
"Don't. say. Anything. About. Draco." She bit out.
Harry was shocked by her response. Anger was the last reaction he expected. Draco! His mind screamed. Since when did they refer to Malfoy, as Draco. He wanted to say more on the subject, but first he needed to get out everything he had planned on saying.
Harry continued right on, as if she hadn't objected to his reference to Malfoy. "I know that you were hurt, and that you had nothing to do with Percy's death."
Ginny mentally gasped, people had actually thought she had something to do with her brother's death. The thought was appalling. Tears began to form in her eyes. Damn, she thought, not now! She thought she had cried her fill for Percy earlier, when the sun began to touch the sky and she could no longer hold it in.
"Oh Ginny!" Harry moved forward, his green eyes full of compassion.
He embraced Ginny as the tears fell unabated down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry you had to lose Percy. I know just how you feel. When Sirius died I didn't think that I would ever be able to wake up and feel normal again." He soothed her back.
Ginny blocked all thoughts from her mind, yet confusion swirled around her. Here she was - Harry Potter had just spent a good five minutes apologizing to her, now he was holding her in his arms. His rumpled black hair glinted in the sunlight, and his eyes were a rich emerald and were directed solely at her. Ginny couldn't let all the feelings she had always held for him enter her mind. He had forgotten her, she must remember. He didn't want her, he never had. He had eyes only for Hermione…
Ginny finally stopped remembering and just let herself cry, cry for all that had been lost.
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Ron sat outside on the old tire swing that and been hung from an old elm tree. He slowly rocked back and forth. Harry had just left to head back to Godrics Hollow. Before he left Harry mentioned that he had chatted with Ginny that morning and that Ron should probably do the same.
It wasn't that Ron didn't want to talk to Ginny, he was just unsure of what to say. He knew from Harry that Ginny was extremely upset over Percy; that was to be expected. He could find words of consolation for that, but he couldn't find words to ask about what happened this summer. He didn't know if he should just ask her or let her tell him when she was ready. His mother seemed intent on forgetting that anything had happened. Ron didn't agree with this, but it definitely made it easier for her.
Ron didn't think that Dumbledore would let Ginny be here, if she had actually had any involvement with Voldemort. He couldn't see his sister in league with evil bastards like McNair or the Malfoys.
A brief smile of triumph crossed Ron's face, finally a year without Malfoy. Ron was certain that he had finally been 'removed' in the war, and out-ed regarding his true beliefs. Finally they wouldn't have to hear his sneering references to Weasel, Potty and Mudblood.
Merlin how he hated Malfoy! Draco Malfoy stood for everything that Ron abhorred in life. Malfoy's abuse of money and power made Ron seethe. He had abused so many people including those closest to Ron. He recalled the times Malfoy had called Hermione "mudblood", the times that he had hunted Harry and them down under Professor Umbridge's order, and then there was his allegiance with Voldemort. Ron knew he was in league with the Dark Lord. His and his father's name had come up prominently in the scouting reports that Ron had received during the battles this summer. Ron was infinitely glad that Draco Malfoy would not be present to harm anyone else he loved.
A loud bang, followed by a plume of purple smoke caught Ron's eye. The twins were still perfecting their exploding-on-command scones. Ron waited a moment and was rewarded by a sharp "Fred! George!" from their mother. While he watched the tongue lashing that Fred and George were receiving, he caught sight of a slight figure sitting on the roof. It was Ginny.
She was sitting outside her bedroom window in her 'special place'. She had always claimed the ledge outside her window as her own. In a family as large as theirs everyone needed a place they could escape to.
He sat for a time, watching his sister, wondering if he had the courage to take the initiative and talk with her. She had to feel awkward, the air was thick with uncertainty and she had to notice it.
Ron stood up and with a declarative walk he headed inside. He wanted to know his sister again!
Ginny saw Ron head inside and knew it was his turn to talk with her. Hopefully this would not result in her dissolving into tears. Merlin how she hated crying!
Once upstairs, Ron quickly entered her room and poked his head out the window.
"Got room for one more out there?"
Ginny smiled at him, she loved Ron and wanted to do her part to remove the tension that hung over their heads.
"Come on out, it's a beautiful night."
The two sat silent for a minute enjoying the crisp night air.
"Gin-bean…"
The use of her childhood nickname eased some of the anxiety that was gripping her heart.
"You know I love you right. You are my favorite sister."
Ginny playfully punched him on the arm, "you git! I'm your only sister!"
"Ow" Ron teasingly rubbed the spot on his arm that she had hit.
"Seriously though, I do love you and I miss having you close."
Ginny lowered her head. She didn't know how to respond to his observation. They had grown apart over the years. Ron had Harry and Hermione who took up most of his attention. They had never made room for Ginny in their trio.
"I came up here with the intention of asking you about what happened…" Ginny moved to interrupt him.
Merlin was she ready to tell anyone what happened! She hadn't even fully remembered herself. Could she tell Ron all the terrible things that she did remember? Would he blame her for her actions? Would he be blinded by his temper and typical male obtuseness?
Ron held up his hand to stop her objection, "But I realized that this is something you need to tell me about - when you are ready. I can't force this information out of you. It wouldn't be right."
Ginny sighed in relief. She knew deep down the answers to all her questions was, no.
"Thank you, Ron." Ginny pulled her brother into a hug. "That was exactly what I needed to hear."
Ron hugged her back, glad to have his sister with him.
"I do want to share with you what happened. It's just that I don't… I don't know everything that happened yet."
Ron looked confused.
"I was seriously injured."
"Dumbledore told us that, he said you were too injured to move until yesterday." Ron told Ginny.
"It's true; I didn't regain consciousness until a few days ago. The fact is I didn't remember anything that happened when I did wake up."
"Nothing?"
"I vaguely recalled the train ride. It wasn't until…" Ginny was going to mention Harry's visit, but figured that it would only bring up questions that she didn't want to answer quite yet. "A couple of days ago that I remembered anything."
"What I did do remember is incomplete and scattered. The memories are hard for me to understand right now. I promise you Ron that when I am ready, I will tell you everything. I want you to understand."
Ron carefully examined her last statement. What was she going to ask him to understand?
"Whenever you feel comfortable Gin, I'll be there for you."
The pair sat in companionable silence until a loud flap of wings interrupted them.
A large tawny eagle owl gracefully came to a rest on the edge of the roof in front of Ginny.
Ron eyed the owl suspiciously. Who would be sending them an owl, especially an owl as expensive looking as this owl.
Ginny stared at the eagle owl, which fluttered its wings regally in impatience. Merlin! It was from Draco!
She leaned forward and the owl extended a leg, offering up a role of parchment. She slowly unrolled it, trying to buy herself time before Ron started asking questions. It was inevitable, her brothers had always been nosy especially with her the youngest and only girl.
After she had begun to read, Ron tried to peer around the edge of the paper. Ginny swiveled to the side to avoid his gaze. Ron had seen this maneuver before, it hadn't worked then and it wouldn't now.
"Who's the letter from Ginny? Is it from a boy" Ron teased in a sing-song voice. This was the typical Weasley response when one got an unidentifiable letter. They hadn't let a letter George got from Katie Bell last summer go for months.
Ginny wrinkled her nose at Ron in response. "No, it's none of your business." She smiled at him, Merlin how they used to torment each other. She quickly thought up a response, "It's a letter from Dumbledore with the books I need."
Ron grinned broadly, he had her now! "If that's all it is you wouldn't mind me reading it then, would you?" Ron moved quickly and snatched the parchment from her hands.
Ginny's eyes went round in horror. This was the worst thing that could have happened. She and Ron were finally getting somewhere and now… now he would read her letter from Draco and all would be lost.
Ron held the parchment out, "Anyways, that letter from Dumbeldore came last week. It must be from a boy…" Ron trailed off as his eyes scanned the bottom of the letter and they came into contact with the distinctive signature of 'Draco'.
His eyes slowly moved over to his sister, who was staring down at her hands, unable to face his reaction. Ron flipped his eyes back to the letter and read the first couple of lines.
Ginny,
I knew you would miss me, who wouldn't. I know it's just because of my good looks, influence, wealth, and of course my prowess in bed.
Ron felt all the blood rush to his head. Immediate anger thudded though his head and his face became blotchy with rage. Ron didn't bother to read any further, he didn't need to, in fact he had read too much.
Everything he had fought to disbelieve about his sister flooded back. The touching conversation they had just finished was trampled by his flash anger and disgust. Draco Malfoy, his sister was sleeping with Draco Malfoy.
Ron knew he had a terrible temper, it ran with the red hair. For the most part he sought to control it, preventing it from clouding his reason. But this letter seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back. There were too many times recently where he had quelled his natural anger, and he just didn't have it in him anymore.
Ron turned angry eyes on his sister; his mind was full of visions of Malfoy and Ginny, of a betrayal to their family.
Ginny could feel his penetrating gaze boring into her soul, finding her guilty. She slowly raised her own eyes.
Their eyes met, all Ron saw was guilt confirming everything. He stood up without grace and moved for the window. He needed to go think, to ruminate on everything that had just occurred.
Before he reached the opening he turned around.
"You thought you could fool everyone didn't you? Disguting!" Ron curled his lip and continued, "It's going to kill mum. I don't know how you could do this to her, wasn't killing Percy enough." With that Ron threw the letter back at Ginny, entered the window and left her.
Ginny picked up the letter from her lap where it had come to rest and began to read the words Draco sent.
She read the first line and understood Ron's reaction. She wanted to be angry at Draco for writing that line, but she couldn't. If she had read that line first, she would have smiled and forgotten for a moment the sorrow that was a constant in her life. That was his reason for including the raunchy comment and she loved that he understood her so well.
She continued on through the letter, needing to feel comfort from his words. He confessed to actually missing her as well. Of course it wasn't in those exact words, but Ginny understood his reluctance to state anything of that nature so boldly.
He made some disparaging comments about Harry which was to be expected. The comments made her smile. Ginny was unsure how she felt about Harry after their conversation. He had been nothing but apologetic and understanding, which served to utterly befuddle her. She needed time to determine her feelings.
His letter continued with a much more serious tone:
I am sorry for your loss. I am glad though that you learned from your family and that you can all grieve together. It is my understanding that he died in the heart of the battle fighting for what was right.
Those words were so unlike Draco she thought, but they were obviously written for her benefit. She understood why, if he had known of Percy's death, he had waited for her to hear about if from her family. Although at this very moment she would have preferred being with Draco than with her family.
Ginny looked up at the eagle owl that remained perched on the edge of the roof looking supremely bored. She tore off the edge of Draco's letter she reached inside the window and found a quill with ink.
She penned a quick and simple letter…
Draco,
I need you
She quickly strapped it to the eagle Owl's leg.
"I'm sorry I don't have a treat for you." Ginny ran her hand down the bird's sleek feathers. "My but you are a gorgeous animal." The owl seemed to puff up at her praise. "Can you take this to your master and quick."
The owl hooted in response and headed off unfurling its magnificent wings.
Ginny wrapped her arms around her knees and lowered her head. She was scared. She didn't know what to do next. Ron was probably telling everyone that she was Draco Malfoy's whore and that she had been in collusion with the Dark Lord from the beginning.
She stared at the expanse of land angling out from the Burrow. Darkness cloaked the ground turning it into a starry wonderland blanketed by night.
Hurry Draco, she thought, I don't know how long I can handle this.
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