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Chapter 2: Reflection and Inquiry
Ron's clear brown eyes scanned the plethora of orange that was his childhood bedroom. The year's past starting lineup for the Chudley Cannons winked back at him. They mugged for the camera tidying up their bright orange uniforms - exuding not a care in the world beyond strategizing for their next match. Ron's eyes locked on the various players remembering days where all he thought about was Krum's (as much as he disliked the Bulgarian) brilliant execution of the Wronski feint and the best strategy to ensure Gryffindor the House cup. He remembered his elation at finally gaining a spot on the Gryffindor team as keeper during his fifth year. Somehow it just didn't seem to matter anymore he mused. His eyes strayed around the room, on the table by his bed a quidditch book and a canary crème resided, gifts from Fred and George in a brotherly gesture of good health. They lay untouched Ron sighed he just hadn't been able to re-enter the world of his adolescent interests; it seemed trivial and unimportant now. To his left on the dresser were framed photos, cataloguing his Hogwarts memories.
The first picture contained Harry, Hermione, and him in their second year. It was a famous Colin Creevy photo. Hermione stood between Harry and himself. Wide grins lit up all their faces. Harry's green eyes sparkled behind his black rimmed glasses; periodically he held a pair of bunny ears up to Hermione's head, which she would smack away good naturedly. The sun shone brightly on the lake in the background and various students romped in the late summer sunshine. Ron thought about how happy they had been in that picture, it was before the specter of Voldemort had become all-consuming.
The next photo was of Lavendar and he from last years Yule ball, Lavender clad in a dress of her namesake, her eyes sparkled merrily. Ron held her hand securely and grinned in the photo. Not oft taken for romantic remembrances Ron recalled that the night had been beautiful. He and Lavender had begun dating that night and not ten minutes after the photo was taken they had escaped to the balcony and shared their first kiss in the crisp December air. Ron quickly closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath, flaring his nostrils. He couldn't look at that photo anymore; it was too painful the memories attached were too fresh.
The next photo on the dresser depicted a family barbeque the summer after his 5th year, the entire family had been there including Bill and Charlie. The picnic had been right before Bill's marriage to his wife Fleur. Charlie was sitting on a lawn chair talking with Percy's long time girlfriend Penelope Clearwater. Penelope had become a fixture at the house that summer; they would become engaged by Christmas he recalled. A smile snaked across Ron's face as the images of Fred and George setting off a pack of fireworks right behind Harry and Hermione who were attempting to slyly slip in a quick snog. The two had begun dating during the summer after the tumultuous events of their fifth year. Hermione, desperately worried about Harry after the death of Sirius, constantly wrote to Harry and visited him regularly. Ron had been unable to get away very often, due to his mothers constant worry over traveling with Voldemort on the loose. The next thing Ron knew his two best friends were more than friends. Although Harry always worried that his feelings for her would result in pain for Hermione, he couldn't deny himself or her the chance at a semblance of a happiness. The pair jumped apart in surprise while the twins ran off in a blur of laughing red hair. Molly and Arthur were arguing over the muggle barbeque that his father had insisted upon using. Ron chuckled over ensuing ball of flame that he knew would come out of the muggle contraption at any moment. Bill sat relaxing with his soon-to-be wife reclining on his lap under the big apple tree. Ron thought of their small child now, Lucas, named after Fleur's father, who passed on at the hands of Deatheaters mere weeks after the wedding.
Ron stared at the photo searching for the final two Weasleys, Ginny and Percy. He scanned the photo in search of their dark auburn locks. Of all the Weasleys they resembled each other the most (aside from Fred and George) both of their heads of hair had matured into a muted auburn unlike the shocking red locks of the rest of the family. He was surprised that the only female Weasley would be that difficult to find. Finally he caught sight of her in the background of the photo, sitting on the grass, Percy sat beside her his arm securely wrapped around her slim shoulders. Ron stared hard at the photo from his vantage point unable to get up and examine it closer. He growled in frustration at his inability to move. He suddenly felt the need to see why Ginny and Percy here hidden off in the corner.
A knock on the door interrupted his perusal of the photo.
"Yes." Ron invited his visitor in the room. "Harry! Hermione!" Ron was pleasantly surprised to see his two best friends in his room, he wasn't sure when they would be in to visit next.
Hermione quickly walked over and hugged Ron in greeting. Harry followed her in the room and smiled at his best mate.
"Now Ron don't enjoy that hug too much, I don't care if you are recovering from a full body bind." Harry teased Ron as Hermione released 'helpless' Ron and swatted at her boyfriend playfully. "shush. the poor boy has been confined to this bed for two straight days, and you haven't." Hermione paused and an out-of-character smile played on her features. "well that's not entirely true now is it!" Harry's eyebrows rose at her implied innuendo, slightly shocked that she would make such a comment at all let alone in the presence of Ron. Ever since they had been reunited she had been less restrained, and while he normally loved that aspect of her personality he was beginning to like this new side of Hermione. Ron groaned in response. "Hermione no. gods. did you have to say that, there are certain things that are just too much information."
Hermione ignored the protests of the patient and placed a kiss on Harry's lips that left no question of the truth to her words. "Hello. Hello." I'm still here!" Ron attempted to remind his visitors. "Ron as much as I love you mate, stuff it for a minute." Harry's arms snaked around Hermione pulling her close and deepening the kiss for a moment.
Ron sighed and let them have their moment, they had been separated for the whole summer, with their future in the greatest jeopardy. Staring at the ceiling for a space of minutes he noticed that the lovebirds had finally parted and decided to return their attention to their reason for being at the Burrow.
"Well back to me are we?" Ron looked over at them a slight pang of jealously quelled quickly.
"Sorry Ron, won't happen again." Ron guffawed at that response from Harry.
"Just like it didn't happen the whole train ride out the Hogwarts last fall or during the Yule Ball or every Hogsmeade trip for the past year." Ron countered.
"Hey I don't seem to recall you complaining too much, with your tongue down Lav.." Hermione stopped abruptly covering her mouth at her mention of Lavender Brown. "Oh God Ron, I'm sorry I didn't mean to remind you of that, I wasn't thinking."
"I sincerely believe you are sorry." Ron paused running a hand through his shaggy red hair, absurdly the thought that he needed to get his hair trimmed popped up in his mind. "and its time that I began to deal with the effects of this war, I can't hide away from reality. Its all over, and as much as it may hurt life will go on with or without those we care about." Ron finished his eyes weary and his breath coming heavily.
Harry looked down at Ron and a small smile crept up his features, he was glad Ron was able to see the situation thus, it would help when they told him about Percy tomorrow. Harry placed a hand on Ron's shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it mate, just remember we are always here for you. I know only too well what you are feeling." Harry's eyes darkened as he remembered all those that had lost their lives protecting him or because he wasn't able to kill Voldemort until this summer. Cedric's visage floated in front of his eyes followed by Sirius, Professor Trewlaney, Lavender, Dennis Creevy and finally Percy, the last to fall victim to Tom Riddle.
Ron inclined his head in acceptance at Harry's words. 'But' a small voice crept into Ron's mind 'at least you have someone to get through this with.' His eyes strayed to Hermione's concerned visage. He loved her, in fact at one time had dreamed of a future for them, but that dream was gone with many others and banished to far reaches of his mind.
Why did that old memory have to pop up now!
It was pointless Harry and Hermione are blissfully happy. It was only because he had lost the girl he would have liked to begin a similar sort of relationship with, that his old feelings for the brunette standing alongside his bed resurfaced.
"So Ron how are you feeling? Better I hope after all according to Dumbledore, school will continue just a few weeks late!" A happy glow encompassed her face as she talked about school.
"Leave it to you Hermione to remind me about school while I'm trapped in bed. I know, Professor Dumbledore was in earlier for a visit and told me the plans. And yes, I am feeling remarkably better. Only my legs are still 'unusable' everything else is ready to go!" With the reminder that he was still bed bound his consternation over the family photo resurfaced. "Harry, mate, could you hand me that photo of the summer picnic?"
"Sure Ron." Harry walked over to the dresser and grabbed the photo smiling at the people and memories imbedded in the frame. "what you need it for?" Harry questioned the request concerned for Ron and his coping with life after the war, despite his earlier protests.
"I just wanted to take a closer look at it, I was having trouble finding everyone from this distance. Thanks!" Harry handed Ron the colorful photo.
Their conversation continued for several minutes. Ron asked about Remus and Tonks. Harry affirmed their health, and admitted that he thought Remus might propose now that the war was over. He also, with a great deal of happiness but with a tinge of sorrow, announced that Remus had agreed to stay at the home Harry had found in Godrics Hollow, since he no longer had to stay with the Dursleys. Harry had planned on living there with Sirius when the war was over, but that plan was cruelly denied. They chatted about school, upcoming classes, Hermione sniffled a bit, since it would be their final year. Yet despite this sense of normalcy there presided an overwhelming stiffness. Ron mused it was still distinctly odd to discuss such mundane topics as quidditch when they had just participated in a horrific war that could and did kill many all at the tender age of 17. Ron felt out of place in his own world, he had spent the last year focused on training for battle, he wondered if others felt as he did, out of place in his former life. He didn't think he could just revert to the old Ron Weasley, in fact he didn't think that he wanted to, his experiences in the war were a part of him and shouldn't be ignored or glossed over. He didn't know how Harry and Hermione felt, they had yet to broach the topic, perhaps it was too fresh for vocal discussion, perhaps it needed to remain internal for the time being.
A bellow from downstairs interrupted the patch of silence their conversation had run onto as Ron contemplated. "Lunch" came Charlie's loud voice.
"Would you like us to bring something up to you Ron? We can grab you some food!"
"Sure go ahead and eat with the family, they will be happy to see you both, I'm sure you will be a welcome addition to the meal. Just bring up a plate when you are done."
As the couple turned to leave the shrine to the Chudley Canons that Ron's room was, Ron quickly diverted his attention to the photo that had remained in his hands throughout their conversation. 'Hmm' Harry thought 'there was definitely more to that photo than a simple curiosity, I'll give Ron time he'll tell me.'
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Ron stared down at the photo and again pinpointed Ginny and Percy at the back of the photo. Sure enough Percy had his arm around Ginny in a gesture of comfort. Ginny's upturned face seemed wistful, he noticed a sheen of unshed tears in her eyes. Ron followed her line of vision, it landed square on Harry and Hermione sharing a kiss. He sighed, despite her many protestations it appeared that Ginny hadn't dropped her youthful crush on Harry. He watched Percy's brow furrow in consternation. Periodically one hand would reach up and wipe away a small trickle of tears that would begin to seep down her pale cheek. Ron was taken aback by the pain in his sisters face, he had always thought Ginny had just had a school girls crush on the Boy Who Lived, but apparently to the youngest Weasley it was much more.
A rush of guilt flooded through his body, why had he, the closest in age, missed it and Percy who was long since gone had picked up on her distress. It dawned on Ron that over the years he had almost completely lost touch with his younger sister. Sure they still talked, and spent time together, but there was a new distance present. When they were little they had often played together defending each other against pranks from Fred and George and ganged up with them to pick on Percy the stickler. Yet he began to remember that when Ginny scraped a knee or when he stuck with the older twins as he often did she would run to Percy, her protector. He remembered her quietness the summer he came back from Hogwarts for the first time. They seemed to spend less and less time together from that moment on. He realized that his friendship with Harry and Hermione had superceded his relationship with his youngest sibling. Ginny had taken a sideline in his life, looking back on his memories from Hogwarts very few involved Ginny beyond the Chamber of Secrets and teasing her for crushing on Harry.
Ron sat back against the headboard, shocked at his revelation, Ginny, who his every instinct as a brother was to protect, has been hurting and he hadn't bothered to see it. In fact with her role in the opening of the Chamber of Secrets and the confusion over her and Hermione's abduction off the Hogwarts express, he had failed to look after his sister altogether, sadly he had begun to believe the worst of her. Granted she had battled Lucius Malfoy and the other Death Eaters at the Ministry during his fifth year, but he swore he had seen Ginny lead Hermione off that train. Was it true he wondered, had she played an active role in Voldemort's rise to power and in the abduction of Hermione? He halted his train of thought, thinking he needed to give her a chance to explain, she deserved his benefit of the doubt. In fact he couldn't think about that right now considering he hadn't seen her yet since the battle ended. God, No! He thought it couldn't be! As much as he had avoided it in the past two days he catalogued his visitors. He had pointedly avoided this method of determining possible deaths and survivors of the final battle. Both his parents had been in, Fred, George, Charlie, Harry, Hermione and Professor Dumbledore. That left Ginny, Percy and Bill. Oh God he thought, was it possible, had all three of them perished in the war, surely his family would have told him. Perhaps they were waiting until he was better to break the news.
That was too much for Ron to take, surely the gods couldn't be so cruel to take away three members of his family. The thought that many lost their whole family caused Ron to pause. Percy, who finally shook off the influence of Fudge, was welcomed back into the fold and took up an intimate role in the fighting. Bill had as well, putting both in grave danger. Percy seemed especially reckless after Ginny disappeared, he was one of the few who voiced his opposition to the theory that she had willingly joined with Voldemort's legions. Ron sighed he had never defended his sister against such accusations. At the time he had been so confused and hurt by the prospect that his sister could possibly have taken an active role in such a plot, some part of him had been unable to fully absolve her of all wrong-doing. Why did he think such things of her? He supposed it was because of her earlier connection with Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets, perhaps she was especially vulnerable to the ministrations of the Dark Lord. Looking back on her actions after her first year, he saw her become more and more reclusive, more vulnerable to the seduction from the dark side. He never thought he would think something of a Weasley, but there was that small question that he had heard some less that tactful wizards make about Ginny's actual parentage. No, that was rubbish Ron thought, Ginny was a Weasley through and through, they were just rumors since she was a female and it had been so many years since a Weasley family had produced a girl. Ron tried to ignore this thought, she was his sister and she may be dead or worse.
The thought suddenly came to Ron, maybe she was still in allegiance with the death-eaters and that was why she hadn't come to visit him. Ron could picture her living it up on the lamb with Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy, even the thought of his name placed a scowl on Ron's face.
"What's with the scowl Bro?" Charlie's handsome face peeked in the doorway. "I brought some food up for you."
Ron looked up with a questioning glance.
"Harry was called away by Remus, some Deatheater testimony or such I didn't quite catch the message, Hermione is sitting with mother visiting." Charlie read the question in Ron's eyes.
"Oh thanks Charlie, I can't wait to be out of this bed, it's ridiculous really to be confined in the room." After a brief pause Ron looked to his brother. "Charlie. can I ask you a question?" Charlie paused at the somber tone of Ron's voice, "Yeah, shoot!" Charlie aimed at lighthearted with his response but the whole time his mind repeated please don't let him ask about Percy.please not Percy.
"Where's Ginny-bean?" Ron used her childhood nickname in spite of the loaded atmosphere.
Charlie started, he had been avoiding that question since the beginning of the summer. He had heard the rumors and had denied them at first, but in the face of so much evidence it was became hard to refute. So, for his own peace of mind Charlie had tried to avoid contemplating the whereabouts of his sister, and with the tragedy of Percy it had been remarkably easy. "Ron, come to think of it, and I feel horrible as a brother saying this, I don't know. I haven't seen hide nor hair of her. Mum and dad haven't mentioned anything, so I assume they know and all is well." Charlie answered despite his own reservations, deposited the plate on Ron's nightstand and turned back to the door, suddenly feeling the need to get of the Burrow and all its memories. "I promised Dad I'd de-gnome the lawn since your sorry butt is laid up." Charlie got out as he left the room hanging on whatever excuse he could come up with.
Ron stared at Charlie's retreating back, even more confused than before he asked his question.
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A/N I promise I will return to Ginny and Draco next chapter, this may be a reoccurring set up for the chapters - we shall see : )