It seemed like an eternity before Remus Lupin returned to the waiting area. There wasn't a sound when he appeared in the doorway; his melancholy expression was enough to silence them all. Mrs. Weasley took a great shuddering breath before burying her head in Arthur's shoulder. Ron collapsed into his father's other shoulder, the tears flowing freely onto his overcoat.
"No," said Hermione defiantly "He can't be dead. We don't even know what curse he was hit with."
Another excruciating moment passed before Remus finally spoke. "He isn't dead." Every face in the room shot in his direction, he could barely endure the hopeful expressions on their faces so he continued instantly, his voice catching in his throat through unshed tears. "He was hit with a memory charm. It is most likely that his entire life's memory has been wiped out. He has not awoken yet but when he does, he'll undoubtedly know nothing of his former life."
There was a stunned silence in which nobody made a move. A shadow seemed to have been thrown across the room encompassing all of them in astonishment and fear. Hermione instantly felt breathless and light-headed. Tiny fragments of the past seven years shot through her mind. Chatting together in dusty classrooms, watching Harry fly over lush green fields, speaking to him at a magnificent fire in the common room, eating in the Great Hall, celebrating in the Great Hall. All those memories had been wiped out of his head, moments of happiness and sadness.
"But we can help him regain his memory," argued Ginny standing to her feet. "We'll teach him about his past. Tell him about all the things that he's done. He has just bloody defeated You-Know-Who! His life isn't over. This is just the beginning of what he's been fighting for."
Fred, George and Ron Weasley immediately began agreeing with her, their voices blending excitedly as they came up with methods of helping Harry regain his lost memory. Hermione stared at Lupin's tall shabby frame isolated in the centre of the room. She knew exactly what he and the other Order members had decided to do. He grew more agitated at the Weasleys growing chatter. "Would you all just be quiet?! The Order has come to a decision which has been accepted unanimously by all its members."
"You're not bringing him back into this world. You're taking him away from it," added Hermione quietly. Her eyes flickered to Arthur and Molly and she could see that they already accepted the idea. She felt an instant wave of emptiness as if she had just lost a part of her soul.
"Are you nuts?!" roared Fred. "What do you plan to do? Leave him out in the streets. Why don't you just finish You-Know-Who's plan and kill him now!" As before the other Weasley children were of the same opinion. However their claims had no effect on Lupin. He closed his eyes as if trying to get rid of their voices. The week's stubble on his cheeks gave him the appearance of a vagrant. He had not stopped fighting for the past two years, now his war was over and he had lost what he had been fighting for.
"Don't you see!" he shrieked uncharacteristically. "He has buried almost his entire family! Could you bear to tell him all the people he has lost. To retell his ruthless story. James, Lily, Sirius, Dumbledore and Hagrid. All dead in a fight that was only meant to include him. I may not have known Harry as you do but he wanted a normal life and he could never have that after the life he has led. This is a chance to give him all that he has ever wanted."
A pensive hush enveloped the entire room. Not one person disagreed with Lupin. Hermione's thoughts ricocheted around her head, thoughts she could not begin to process. Disbelief and guilt gnawed at her heart. She found it difficult to breathe and yet what could breathing do. It would not help her in the slightest. Not in this horrendous situation. She didn't need to breathe, to cry, to scream she just needed him. She wished she could talk to him; ask him what he wanted.
"He's only eighteen," continued Lupin. "That's still a young age. He can make a life for himself in the muggle world, go to college and find a job. Not one person can say that he will have an easy life if he stays in the wizarding world. We have a chance to take away all his suffering from the past eighteen years, all the death and pain."
Hermione leaped out of her chair and bounded out of the room. She knew that the decision had already been made. There was no returning to Hogwarts, no Diagon Alley, no late nights at the Burrow or days spent in the fields surrounding Ottery St. Catchpole.
She found herself outside in the streets of London preceding the clandestine entrance to St. Mungo's. A sob erupted from her throat, a choke that wanted to be a scream. Only a few late shoppers treaded the cobblestones, every now and again glancing at her fearfully. She could still hear his voice, disbelief clouded her rational thought. How could everything be so screwed up? The war had ended; they were supposed to be rejoicing.
After ten solitary minutes of standing alone in the darkened street she heard her own voice. A memory she had shared with Harry a year ago that now only belonged to her. "You'll stop being the Boy Who Lived or the Chosen One. You'll find a wife and have a family." Realisation slowly seeped through her wall of incredulity. This was the only way she could ever offer him this.
"You have to see this from his point of view, Hermione." Remus ambled towards her, his hands thrust into his trouser pockets. "If it was you, he'd let you go, for your own happiness."
"I just can't seem to see how all of this happened. My mind won't register the fact that he won't know me. He won't be my best friend anymore, he won't miss me like I would miss him," she sighed. "How can you just accept this?"
"I've known for almost ten hours. The healers didn't recognise the symptoms at first, everything added to a cruel Stunner. It isn't often that you see a Memory Charm in the midst of battle. Lestrange knew what she was doing; I am so very happy I managed to kill her."
"But still," she yelled frustrated "you're acting like you knew from the moment you met Harry that this is what would happen."
"Of course I didn't. Nobody could have foreseen this. I want to congratulate him, not make plans to forget him. But what life awaits him if he wakes up in the wizarding world," he roared flinging his arm back pointing towards the ghostly building that now held an unconscious Harry. "There is so much that he would have to come to terms with. Could you honestly tell me you are prepared to tell him that his parents were murdered for his sake? That Sirius was killed trying to protect him as was Hagrid. That Dumbledore," he paused as if speaking the old headmasters name was painful, "that Dumbledore spent the last twenty years of his life trying to make sure, not that Harry was alive but that he was happy."
"You're right," she said dejectedly. "There isn't any point in making the next years of his life another battle. I once promised him that he would have a normal life once he had defeated Voldemort but I never really believed he could have an ordinary life until now." Finally she let free her tears. Her body wracking with sobs, she placed a hand over her face. From instinct, trying to stay strong. Lupin watched a moment before enveloping her in a hug trying to comfort but barely managing to comfort himself.
Several hours later and after numerous cups of coffee the Weasleys, Hermione, Lupin, Tonks, Alastor Moody and some other members of the Order assembled in the circular waiting room. The mood was sombre, the expressions gloomy. Lupin inhaled deeply before speaking as he knew his words would put a sense of finality on all their lives.
"The press will be told later today of Harry's death. This is to ensure that no one from the wizarding world suspects anything or tries to find Harry in the future, especially Death Eaters. Harry will be transported to a muggle hospital, we will take anything that identifies him from him. We'll organise surveillance but only till he finds his feet."
"This is all happening so fast," muttered Ron. Hermione reached out and held his hand, gently resting her head against his shoulder.
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The wizarding world mourned the loss of their hero. The Boy-Who-Lived lived no more. Thousands attended the funeral that took place at Hogwarts.
It was a long time before the shadow cast because of Harry's apparent death lifted. But one day people woke and continued on with their lives. For those who knew the truth, news about Harry rarely came. Occasionally they were assured about his well being until one day, many years after his exit, news stopped coming.
The boy who had earned respect because all he had overcome, the boy who had always been destined to be a hero, the boy who had triumphed when everyone else had lost hope, was truly gone. Harry Potter ceased to be.
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