I looked at the pumpkin juice and tried not to calculate how many calories could be in that single glass. Before I had a chance to move it out of view, another hand took the pitcher and held it over my goblet.
"Would you like some pumpkin juice Hermione? You've been staring at it all night." Harry, a true gentleman, began to pour the juice. I struggled not to show my disgust as the orange liquid spilled into the goblet. And I had to take at least one drink, or else I would tip Harry off.
"Thank you," I murmured as I choked down a swallow. I felt like throwing up the second the goblet touched my lips, but that would have been a dead giveaway if I vomited in the middle of the Start of Term Feast.
"You haven't eaten much. Are you okay?" Harry stared at my plate, which appeared to be barely touched. I had swallowed a few bites of food during the meal when someone would give me a look, but most of the food had just been pushed around to appear as though I had eaten it.
I tried to play off my abhorrence of the fatty foods in front of me. "I'm just not that hungry," I said, hoping that my aching stomach wouldn't give me away, like it had several times that summer.
At Hogwarts, I had never paid much attention to my weight, because everyone wore the same loose robes. But when I went home this summer after my fourth year and saw all the girls in my neighborhood in tiny bikinis, with their perfectly flat stomachs and thin legs, I realized how fat I had become. I looked in the mirror, and all I saw was a fat, ugly girl staring back at me.
I knew I had to loose weight, and the easiest way was to stop eating. I also became stressed as I prepared for the O.W.L.s coming up this year. As I tried to schedule out my study time, along with my classes and everything else that would be coming up this year, eating just seemed like a waste of time.
Over the summer, I had trained myself to ignore my starving stomach and withstand the temptations of my dad's "famous" caramel chocolate cake and mum's amazing home cooked meals. I began an exercise routine, including a two kilometer jog each morning, 20 minutes of weight lifting, and at least 10 minutes of relaxed stretching, like yoga, at night. Unfortunately, I haven't seen much result.
Now, I'm back at Hogwarts, and trying hard to follow my new diet plan. I knew what everyone would say: "You're already thin," "Your plan is a little extreme," or "Nobody really looks like those supermodels." But I don't care what they say, this is my life, my body, and I'll treat it the way I choose.
"Well, now that we're all fed and happy, I believe it is time to bid you all goodnight and sweet dreams," Dumbledore stood and dismissed the students from the Great Hall. I closed my eyes in relief. Finally, sleep, a place to escape from my constantly growling stomach and recharge for the new year ahead.
The next morning, my stomach was quiet and still. I have finally regained enough control to train my body to stop asking for what it wouldn't get. I'm not starving myself, if any of you are thinking that, that's just plain stupid. I'm just being very careful about what I am eating. Carbohydrates and fatty meats are completely out. A few pieces of fruit at breakfast, some plain vegetables at lunch, and a small piece of very lean meat at dinner is all I need really.
As I pulled on my socks, just before leaving for my morning workout, Parvati addressed me. "Have you lost weight?" she asked, almost embarrassed. I knew why; she had seen me eat less at dinner last night and wanted me to feel better about myself by acting as if I looked skinnier. But I knew it was all a lie. My mirrors still showed the same fat Hermione, even if my weighing charms were saying I had lost weight; I should really worked on those.
"No," I replied flatly, then slipped on my shoes and walked out the door to avoid further conversation.