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Dreams by DonovanPotter
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Dreams

DonovanPotter

A/N - this is my answer to the mess that was the epilogue of DH - the worse bit of professional writing I've ever read. This will be a three parter with the next chapter being the scene at the train. Hope you enjoy.

"Is Ron here?"

Hermione looked up into the flustered face of Harry and frowned.

"No, he's still with George at the shop," she replied as she let him into the flat, following him cautiously.

"Do you think he'll be gone for long?" Harry asked, pacing.

"He's helping with the stocktaking so probably," she shrugged, "Harry, what's wrong? Is everything alright?"

He stopped and looked at her in mild panic, mid pace, flicking his eyes to the door as if to check that it was closed, then blurted out

"Ginny's pregnant."

Hermione felt all the air leave her body as his words engulfed her.

"Oh Harry," she gasped, her mind going through all the complications this bit of news was going to cause.

"They're going to kill me," he groaned, turning on his heel and making his way to the couch in the living area.

"Who?" she asked as she followed him numbly, sitting down in her favourite armchair opposite him.

"All of them," he stated with weary acceptance, "I'm debating whether it will be Ron, Mr Weasley or Mrs Weasley first. I mean, I've knocked up their only daughter out of wedlock. What a bloody mess!"

"They're not going to kill you Harry," Hermione told him reasonably, "they love you. And they all think that you and Ginny were going to get married one day. That day will just be a little sooner than they anticipated."

Harry paused as he thought about what Hermione had just said, his frown deepening. She let him think, her own thoughts going a million miles an hour.

"It's been a long time since I've thought of marrying her," he said after a while, "I can't marry her!"

"Why not?" she asked him, part of her knowing what he'd say but she still watched his face with interest.

He looked at her then, his eyes blazing into hers. She could see his answer without him saying anything and blushed.

"You know why, Hermione," he stated quietly and she gave him the smallest of smiles.

It had been six years since the demise of Voldemort and the wizarding world was only now getting back to how it was before the war. Things for the trio changed with Ron and Hermione becoming a couple and Ginny and Harry finally allowing themselves to be together.

But Hermione had found it difficult to be separated from Harry after spending a year glued to his side and although she was happy with Ron, she was happier with Harry. As time progressed, their friendship never diminished and sometimes the lines got a bit blurred between the couple.

Ginny enjoyed the limelight that came with being Harry Potter's girlfriend and had taken a reluctant Harry along for the ride. Often, after yet another party, he would end up at Hermione's place at her parents and spent many hours bemoaning what his girlfriend was getting him to do.

After the parties had ended and future plans had begun to be discussed, more disagreements between the young couple emerged and again Hermione was the sounding board.

Meanwhile she and Ron ambled along. They quickly fell into a rut that neither of them felt necessary to get out of. She learnt very early on that Ron constantly needed building up, that he needed her to encourage him in every aspect of his life. It was hard work but she was okay in doing it - most of the time.

There were occasions where she would be the one complaining to Harry about her relationship and her life and he was always there to listen. Their friendship went to another level, strengthening in ways that were so understated that no-one really realised.

But Hermione knew. She had felt the shift three years ago with Harry finally realising the same thing a year later.

They were with the wrong partners.

They should be with each other.

Both tried ignoring what was now so obvious to the two of them, but that didn't work either and although their relationship never became physical, what they had together was stronger than what either of them had at home.

Their own relationships progressed, but progressed slowly. Hermione shifted out of her parents and in with Ron after he had finished auror training while she continued her law and political studies in a muggle university. Ginny was still living at home but spent so much time at Grimmauld Place that she might as well live there.

Yet any talk of marriage or families never seemed to get past the talk phase.

Until now.

"Harry," Hermione started, "Ginny is going to have your baby. You're going to have the family you've always wanted…"

"It should be you."

She took what she hoped was a calming breath as their eyes locked together, the intensity between them sparking like an open flame.

"I know," she said softly, "but it isn't."

"I don't love her," he continued, his voice strangled with emotion, "not like I love you."

She went before him then, kneeling in the space in front of his legs, taking his hands in hers.

"You're going to be a father, Harry," she told him as her heart shattered, "you can't walk away from that. You have to do what is right…"

"I'm pretty tired of always doing what's right…"

"But this involves another life, an innocent life," Hermione ploughed on, "this child needs your love and the love of a happy home. We can't leave now, Harry, we can't run. I can't. I won't take you away from your family."

"I think she did it on purpose," he said after a moment, sighing deeply, "because I wouldn't set a wedding date."

"I don't think even Ginny's that terrible…"

"She thinks she's losing me," he admitted with a weary chuckle, "and you know Gin, determined to get her own way. This would make me marry her and she knows it."

"You will always have me…"

"But not how I want you."

"No, not how you want me."

They looked at each other again and it took all of Hermione's will power not to kiss away his hurt. Instead she cupped his cheek in her hand, enjoying his touch as he leant into her palm. He had closed his eyes, savouring the rare moment of their togetherness, opening them to look at her with regret.

"Sorry," he said finally.

"What for?"

"For not ending the sham we're both living," he told her sadly, "for not taking you away and starting over."

"I think that dream died a long time ago, Harry," she smiled softly before adding, "you should go."

"Go?"

"Yes, go," Hermione prompted, standing up and bringing Harry up with her so they were now face to face, close enough to kiss.

"What am I going to do?" he asked, his voice husky with the passion that was building in his eyes.

"You're going to ask your girlfriend to marry you," she breathed, wanting desperately to kiss him.

"I can't…" he groaned, edging the little bit closer, "I can't marry her when I want you."

"You can't have me," she whispered then stepped away from him, breaking the connection that was close to the point of no return, "I'm not going to be the other woman, Harry. You need to love Ginny, start your family in a positive, loving way. You need to stop wanting what you can't have and instead embrace what you've got."

He nodded then, understanding her words as they were a variation on the many conversations they'd had over the years, every time they were close to becoming lovers - cheaters, liars, betrayers. He nodded again and turned to leave. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, turning back to Hermione who was still in front of the couch.

"I will always love you," he stated with a tenderness that made her cry, "whatever happens, never forget that."

She acknowledged him with a nod, only letting her sobs escape when the door closed and she was alone once more.

Harry and Ginny were married a month later, a small quick affair with just family and friends present. Ginny had wanted a huge, public ceremony but all of her tantrums didn't work this time. To say the Weasley's were disappointed in the fact their precious daughter was pregnant before being married was a small understatement but strangely, they didn't blame Harry as much as he had feared.

No-one questioned why Hermione was so quiet as the frantic planning was taking place - they all thought it was because she was upset that Ginny was getting married before her. In reality, every time she met the happy redhead a part of Hermione died.

No-one noticed that it wasn't the bride the groom watched as the wedding party walked down the make-shift aisle, but the bridesmaid - dressed in emerald green and leading the procession.

No-one thought it unusual that Hermione cried as the couple said their 'I do's', it was a wedding after all.

A few thought it was strange that the traditional dance between the groom and the bridesmaid was a sombre affair, with Hermione savouring every touch as if it was her last and Harry holding her like he would never let go - but it was dismissed as two old friends getting ready to move on.

And when Ron asked Hermione to marry him as Harry and Ginny left for their honeymoon, no-one thought it strange when she said yes.

It was time to let go and with a shattered heart and discarded dreams, Hermione was determined to do just that.