Hey, it's been a LONG time coming but hopefully some of the old readers will stick with it, and maybe some new readers too!
Disclaimer: J.K. is the genius, Harry and co. are hers.
Niffling
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Hermione groaned as she drifted back into consciousness.
What had she drunk last night? On second thoughts, lets not go there she told herself as her stomach did a turn at the thought of alcohol.
"Oooh is she awake?!" a gleeful voice shrieked, piercing Hermione's sore head.
"There's no use hiding Hermione, out you come!" another equally jovial voice chimed in.
Realising there was no escape, Hermione forced herself upright and pulling open the curtains on her four poster bed.
"Well, well, well," Parvati and Lavender chorused, huddling on one of their beds opposite and looking across at Hermione as though they were some sort of judging panel. "Aren't you quite the little devil?!"
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked somewhat blearily above the giggles.
"Oh come off it, we know!" Lavender said tipping Hermione a heavy wink.
"That's great Lavender, but what exactly is it you think you know today?" Hermione replied, a slight hint of snappiness entering her voice at Lavenders all knowing smile.
Parvati rolled her eyes theatrically and in an unnecessary stage whispered uttered a single word: "George!"
"What about George?" Hermione began to ask, but half way through the question images flooded through her mind. She'd asked him to get more wine hadn't she? Yes well that was perfectly acceptable, it was a party after all, although she was regretting it now but still hopefully in a handy potions time she'd be feeling much better. But there was something else wasn't there, the look on the other girls' faces told her so.
She'd been upset because of Harry, his touch on her skin and deep eyes looking into hers had seemed to look through the flippant fun she was having and crave something deeper. She knew that one though, and the only place it went was more pain so she'd pulled away, forced herself to break contact. Suddenly it had seemed too hot in the common room and she had decided to slip away for some air. It was all coming back to her now, tripping through the portrait hole, and nearly falling right into someone.
She was upset and George had got her the wine, and at the time it had seemed so, so sweet of him, in comparison to the way Harry had dropped her this simple act of kindness seemed suddenly very special to the drink addled Hermione.
She'd only meant to say thank you, but her trip had landed her right against George's chest, and now they stood so close, so that when George smiled down at her, "don't worry, I caught you," Hermione's vulnerable mind took it as an act of heroism, and she did the only typical thing a damsel in distress could do.
"I kissed him…" It was barely more than a whisper but to Hermione it was the deafening truth.
She collapsed backwards onto her bed as Parvati and Lavender collapsed into fits of giggles opposite her.
"Ooh to hear it from the horses mouth gives such satisfaction!" Lavender finally declared smugly.
"Well how did you know?" Hermione asked in her dazed state.
"He told us," Parvati explained gently, causing Hermione to groan with embarrassment.
"Oh Merlin, what did he say?" she enquired tentatively, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
"He was very nice about it don't worry," Parvati reassured Hermione as Lavender broke into fresh fits of laughter. "He said you'd had too much drink and could we please get you to bed, and to let you know not to worry he knows you were drunk and he won't hold you responsible for corrupting his innocence… or something like that. So with that I think we'll leave you to it, we're going to Hogsmeade but wanted to get the goss first!"
"But, does anyone else know about… it?" Hermione asked, blushing.
"Don't worry Hermione, we've already been warned by George not to spread it around, as if we would anyway!" Lavender replied in mock outrage.
"Seriously Lavender -"
"I know, I know, brownies honour. I don't see why you don't want anyone knowing though it's not exactly a crime to have some fun! But don't worry our lips are sealed, if a bit grudgingly…" Lavender added, seeing the look on Hermione's worried face.
As the other girls left the dormitory Hermione made herself comfortable again and tried not to make her head hurt more by strenuous thinking. At least no one knew what an idiot she'd been, she consoled herself. But it wasn't about that, the other part of her argued. Why did you do it? She thought to herself angrily. One minute telling one guy you love him and the next kissing someone else! Not that it made any difference with Harry what she did with anyone else, she had no chance with him anyway, he'd made that perfectly clear.
Harry… she tried to block him from her mind, clearing her head for the sleep she desperately needed.
Harry… those eyes looking into hers. "Please Hermione, let me just talk to you…" Hermione physically shook herself and opened her eyes wide to rid her of the image of him. As they fluttered closed again, her mind began to wander, drifting towards sleep. Harry… his face, drained of colour, eyes showing the pain within, staring at her in disbelief for a split second as George pulled away from her. Then gone, a blink and his back was turned, lost in the crowd back inside the party before George had even noticed him.
Hermione's eyes shot open.
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Harry had finally succeeded in drawing Ron into a game of Wizards chess to take his mind of things, only to have Ron pester him every few minutes when he moved one of the wrong pieces.
"Harry, seriously, listen to me."
Harry broke out of his reverie and looked into the earnest expression on his best friends face.
"You are playing white. And you're technique is something that rhymes with that, not too put too fine a point on it!" Ron slumped back in his chair and put his hand over his eyes. "Why did you force me into this game when I would have been much better off in bed? Hmm? Is that the act of a good friend? I think not Harry! I think not."
"Alright, alright," Harry mumbled, making a hasty manoeuvre with a white pawn and ignoring the general chorus of insults the move gained him from the chess pieces.
Ron didn't even bother to try and explain what a ridiculous mistake Harry was making, and made his move before spending the next ten minutes attempting to doze in his chair.
All Harry could think about was those damn lips of hers. It was like his memory had zoomed in on that particular feature and he played the moment over and over again in his head in slow motion. Last night he had removed himself from the party as promptly as he could after bumping into Hermione and George.
He'd thought to himself, "bitch", and then spent the rest of the night hating himself for it. Hermione was not a bitch; she was a kind, intelligent, funny, and - standing out most in his mind at the moment - beautiful - girl. Perhaps he shouldn't have tried talking to her last night, but she looked so stunning he couldn't help it. The thing was though, now that he'd seen her looking so blatantly drop dead gorgeous it just seemed to highlight to him how beautiful she was the rest of the time.
And just as he imagined her, there she appeared. She was pale, her eyes with heavy bags under them looking almost bruised. She'd flung on an old Quidditch shirt of his that nearly reached her knees and she descended the stairs one at a time, with a dazed look upon her face.
Harry just saw her beauty. Her hair was unbrushed, bushy and wild from the previous nights sleep. Her dark eyes stood out starkly from her pale skin, and the haunted lost look in her eyes made him just want to hold her, tell her everything was going to be alright…
"Hey Hermione," Ron muttered, waking from his nap. She hadn't noticed them until then and hers eyes shot up, meeting Harry's before darting to Ron's.
"Hey…" she said softly, trailing her way slowly to them. Ron was sprawled on the chair whilst Harry claimed half of a sofa, a typical set up for the three of them to share.
As Hermione hovered and Harry fiddled with a chess piece Ron eventually asked, "Well are you going to sit down?" as if he were talking to a three year old.
Shooting him a scathing look Hermione collapsed in the space next to Harry, gratefully sinking into its comforting support.
The groan that escaped Hermione's lips as she got comfortable made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand up, reminded him of times he'd heard a very similar noise from her. He tried to keep his mind from it but she was obviously painfully aware of how close they were, and though she closed her eyes as if to doze she frequently snapped them open again to look at him, thinking he was absorbed in the chess. He couldn't have been any less absorbed and eventually turned to look at her when he noticed her eyes open at the edge of his vision.
Hermione was unprepared for the emotions that she saw flit across Harry's eyes. As he flicked his eyes to meet hers they shone with hatred, which melted into a pain so obvious and heartfelt that Hermione knew he'd seen, and knew how much it had hurt him. Guilt rose up in her and she felt ashamed of what she had done, how she had hurt her best friend. But he didn't feel guilty, did he? A little voice inside her head said. He hurt you first. If he'd wanted it to be him kissing you last night he would have done something by now.
And with that thought in mind, Hermione got up and walked away.
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"This is ridiculous!" Hermione shouted aloud, causing the giant squid to retreat back under the surface of the lake she was sat by.
Escaping Harry's accusatory look she'd gone on a long walk around the castle grounds, and her thoughts had been going round in circles for several hours. If Harry didn't care, why did he look so hurt? If Harry did care, why didn't he do something about it? Why did she care? Why had she kissed George? What kind of idiot was she turning into? Harry wouldn't ever want to be with an idiot. But Harry wouldn't ever want to be with her anyway… and on it went, not helping at all.
Hermione felt terrible about kissing George, it was so unlike her. Just because you can't have the guy you want doesn't mean you should throw yourself at the next available person, she scolded herself. She felt dirty and cheap. She reasoned with herself that it wasn't exactly the sluttiest thing anyone had ever done, after all, she knew George and cared about him, she was very drunk, and it was only a kiss. But it was a kiss that wasn't shared with Harry, and for Hermione that made all the difference.
She had to stop this. Even if Harry didn't care who she kissed in her spare time, Hermione did, and she wasn't going to sacrifice her morals just because of one guy. She wasn't the kind of girl who randomly kissed someone different each week, so she wasn't going to do it. And it was time she gave up her childish fantasy of her and Harry together.
Taking a deep breath she let it out slowly, and stood up to go back inside. She suddenly ducked behind a tree at the edge of the lake, as she spotted an all too familiar figure exiting the castle.
Real mature, Hermione, she smirked to herself, she was off to a good start on being sensible and mature if the first time she saw him she hid behind a tree like a little girl. One step at a time though, she thought to herself - she'd only just decided to try and put it behind her, it was probably a bit soon to expect her feelings to disappear.
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Harry strolled aimlessly, eyes downcast, hands in pockets, and unknowingly observed by Hermione.
Hermione… the last thing he'd been expecting last night was to see her kissing someone else, but now that he had, what did it mean? The problem was, Harry sighed to himself deeply, was that for this sort of thing you needed a girl to explain, and the only girl he would normally have asked, was the subject of the question.
She'd obviously moved on. Decided she'd waited long enough for Harry to get his act together and given up. He'd well and truly blown it, even Ron (had he known the situation) would have found it hard to stand up for Harry's actions now.
Harry irritably kicked a loose stone in the grass as hard as he could in frustration: why had he been such an idiot?
"Ow! Thanks a lot, Harry." A reproachful tone greeted Harry's ears, and looking up he saw Ginny rubbing her leg with the offending stone by her foot.
"Sorry, Ginny, did it hit you?"
"Yes, thank you very much, it did." Ginnys tone softened as se saw the dejected look in Harry's eyes. "What's up Harry?" she asked softly.
The only person who had a vague idea of what an idiot Harry had been, and she was a girl. Genius.
"Ginny, brilliant!"
"Well its nice to know someone's happy to see me!" Ginny smiled playfully. "What is it?"
Ten minutes later Harry had explained what he'd seen the previous night and the conclusions he'd drawn from it.
"Hermione kissed George?" asked Ginny, dumbfounded. "Hermione kissed my brother?"
"Oh yeah… I didn't think about the whole brother thing there… sorry…" Harry realised his mistake too late.
"I'm not bothered by it," Ginny assured Harry quickly, only for him to reply snappily, "Well I am!"
"Right, right. But Harry you can't seriously think it means anything!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well it was obviously just a mistake! A rebound action. And she was absolutely out of it last night, she probably didn't even know what she was doing."
"Yeah, yeah, Gin, we've all heard that one before, "I was drunk - it was a mistake" it's no excuse!"
"No excuse for what, exactly Harry?" Ginny queried. "For cheating on someone? No, it's not an excuse for that. But Hermione hasn't cheated on anyone, has she? Because someone wouldn't start a relationship with her to be cheated on!"
"Well... yes, I mean, no it's not… but for good reasons!" Harry eventually concluded.
"What, that You Know Who might hurt her? Well that all sounds very chivalrous Harry, but you must realised it actually doesn't make a damn bit of difference!" Ginny said in exasperation.
"What do you mean? Of course it does, there's a whole list of victims which should count as enough bloody proof!" Harry shouted angrily, hurt by Ginny's flippancy towards the lost lives of his loved ones.
After a few moments Ginny gingerly said, "That's not what I meant Harry. I can see why you're scared; I know you've lost people who are close to you. But… it really doesn't make a difference, Harry. Hermione's close to you anyway. Unless you were thinking of cutting her out completely, not even being her friend anymore, You Know Who will always know you care about her. He could use her just as easily as bait or to cause you pain even if there was nothing more than friendship. So you see, in that way, it doesn't make a difference at all really. That's all I meant."
Harry did see. It had been hard enough trying to stop anything more than friendship develop between himself and Hermione, he knew for sure that he wouldn't ever be able to cut her out of his life enough to ensure her safety from Voldemort. And even if he did, Hermione would always be in danger anyway because she would never join the death eaters.
"Thank you, Ginny." He said eventually, layering the words with meaning.
"Anytime, Harry." Ginny smiled back at him. "Oh look, there's the lady herself!" Ginny said pointing to Hermione's back as she headed towards the castle. "Why don't you go and talk to her now, Harry?" Ginny nudged Harry.
"Yeah… yeah maybe I will. Now's as good a time as any right?"
"It sure is Harry, go on!" Ginny replied, giving him a little push in the right direction.
"How do I look?" he asked nervously, looking down at himself and self consciously trying to flatten his hair.
"Gorgeous, darling! Now GO!" Ginny laughed, and off Harry set, to find Hermione, and explain everything.