Unofficial Portkey Archive

Where I end and you begin

There's a gap in between,
There's a gap where we meet,
Where I end and you begin. -By Radiohead.

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"Evans."

"Not now Potter," she said without sending a glance his way. "Can't you see I'm busy?" she added quickly.

"Merlin Evans, you've been ignoring me all ride! You do realise that we are going to have to get along fairly well for us to work together, right?" snapped James, starting to get just a bit frustrated. He had never received such treatment from her.

He had always thought of her as a shy bookworm. She wasn't especially beautiful and was so scrawny she was edgy all over. However, there were two features she possessed which couldn't help to go noticed.

First, there was her deep, auburn hair, which cascaded along her shoulders, down to her hips. Her waves moved naturally with every movement of her head and made it extremely easy to distinguish her in a crowd.

Then, there were her immense eyes, which seemed as if they would pop out of her face in any second. They were emerald colour, with a spark in them that would catch the eye of the viewer immediately.

He blinked twice and returned to reality when he heard a voice try to answer his question:

"Whatever you say Potter. Can't you see that I'm checking all the compartments? Something we should be doing together as we were asked, to control that everyone has changed into their uniforms. But of course, the thought of helping hasn't even crossed your mind." She had been practising this cold attitude towards him all summer and longed for it to be effective. She turned, for the first time in nearly three months, to inspect his reaction and realised it had worked. She tried to maintain a straight face but couldn't help her stomach from doing all the butterflies' routine.

Hearing her comment and feeling hurt, James grabbed her arm and dragged her near him. She looked at him with clear surprise in her eyes. He had never touched her before, at least not willingly.

"All right, Evans, I'll check the rest of the compartments and you can go back to your friends. But later, and don't give me that look. Later, we're talking want it or not."

She frowned, wondering where this genuine concern for her came from, but walked away, back to her place in the train, with her friends.

It wasn't very far away, so she arrived quickly. She opened the door noisily and was suddenly received with a vague odour of chocolate and intense chatter.

"Hey Lily! About time you came to visit us!" Lily sat next to Cassie, smiling warmly. Cassie smiled back at her radiantly. She had a beautiful face, with big baby blue eyes and everlasting eyelashes. She had small full lips and her hair was incredibly dark, like the night. She wore it up to her shoulders, with long bangs, which just made stand out even more her eyes. She had a round face and body. "What have you been doing all this time? Any encounters with a certain marauder, who happens to be the new Head Boy, who also happens to be the Griffindor Quiditch captain, who you..."

"I think what she's trying to say rather slowly is if you've seen James." Finished Sam for Cassie with an enormous smile plastered on her face. She then asked: "Am I right Cass?"

Sam was probably the most simple physically from the five friends, but that hadn't stopped her from having one of the most admired boys from her year. She had been dating Tobey Sullivan for over a year and people were used to see them attached. She had small brown eyes, a straight nose and thin lips. Her hair was curly and all over the place. Her figure was petite.

"Well, of course you're right! Can't you ever let me finish?" pouted Cassie.

"Ah, but you know you love it!" continued Sam, before hugging her still pouting friend.

"Okay people!" cut in Mandy, "We are getting off the point! Lils, please, could you answer the question?"

"You are rather impatient today Mandy, something wrong?" drifted again Lily, trying to change the subject.

"Well, you know, the normal. I'm excited about the last year, terrified about going to the outside world and Lucas dumped me yesterday," replied Mandy quickly, with a tear travelling down her face to her quivering lips. Mandy was a pure blonde, with straight hair that reached her hips. She had chocolate brown eyes and an incredible smile. She was quiet tall and had an athletic figure.

"What happened?" asked shocked Bethany, the last girl of the group. She was a brunette, with waves down to her shoulder. Her eyes were green blended with brown. She had an attractive figure, which she normally hid behind her robes.

All the girls moved instantly to surround Mandy and try to hug her at the same time. The girl managed a small smile and started to narrate her story:

"Well, you know, it's really not very complicated. He just said that this was his last year and that he wanted to have fun, and wanted me to have fun too..."

"Bastard," murmured Sam. Everyone agreed with her silently and begged Mandy to continue.

"Well, he said he really liked me but that he didn't feel our relationship was going anywhere and just wished to stop things now before we got too attached. But that's the problem!" Mandy started crying again. "I have already gotten too attached!"

"Oh Merlin, that is just such a pathetic excuse," muttered Bethany. "Mandy, listen to me, he doesn't deserve you. And he's right; we are going to have so much fun this year without him. I know it doesn't feel that way right now. But I promise it will get better."

"Yeah, I hope so," Mandy said unsurely. "But I really want to think about something else. So Lily, can you tell us what happened? Please?"

Lily looked surprised for a moment, but then comprehension filled her eyes and started talking.

Not much time later, she finished her tale and stared at her friends' reactions. Cassie was the first to talk:

"Well, you know what you have to do now. It's the perfect occasion to make him realise you are over him."

"Even if you're not," pointed out Sam.

"Ah, but he doesn't have to know that, you see," added Cassie mysteriously.

"Well that IS the whole point. That he believes you Lily. You up for some lying?" inquired Bethany, quite concerned.

"It should be pretty easy, I suppose." Lily said, not very convinced.

"Remember how much he hurt you Lils," Mandy added. Everyone turned her head at her. They hadn't been expecting a contribution on the conversation. "You have to stop letting him."

"I know, I know," assured Lily. "I just wish it was easier."

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Some time and many chocolate frogs later, the girls were laughing uncontrollably, all signs of any serious conversation gone.

"So what if I did?" asked Sam, between breaths.

"Well, that would be incredibly disgusting!" replied Lily between horrified and curious.

"I don't think that's the word. More like incredibly kinky!" added Mandy.

"It was kinky alright!" assured Sam, and the five girls continued laughing uncontrollably.

Unexpectedly, the door of the compartment opened and in its place appeared the head of a famous James Potter. He had his head cocked to one side, so his shaggy hair fell on his face. He had an eyebrow raised questioningly:

"Good morning ladies, what's the joke and why did you all stop laughing?" he said smiling.

"None of your business Potter," cut Sam.

"Hey!" he looked confused at the five girls glaring at him. His smile vanished, and in its place appeared a frown. "What's up with the hostility?"

"Potter, you don't like us, and we dislike you even more. So please don't look so surprised if we don't want you here. I think it's pretty obvious why." Bethany said.

"Well, I'm willing to change that girls, really" a snort came from Mandy's direction. James, trying to make conversation, added "Mandy! How's it going with Lucas?"

Abruptly, Mandy started crying again. James looked even more confused. Lily grabbed his arm and took him out of the compartment before he could do any more damage.

"Ok Potter, here I am, what do you want?" questioned Lily. However, the boy was still looking at the compartment's door, wondering in his own world what had he done wrong. As intrusive as ever, he asked. Lily's face softened and she tried to clarify, without giving too many details.

"They are not together anymore, so please, don't mention him again." Her face became hard again. "Now, what do you want?"

James looked at her for the first time in the last five minutes and remembered why he had gone there in the first place:

"We have to talk," he said simply. Lily looked at him with tired eyes and nodded. "About what you said in the train last year."

"Look," explained Lily. "What I said doesn't matter anymore. I don't feel that way. I'm over you." She turned to the door, but James grabbed her arm for the second time that morning. She slowly turned again to look at him, helpless.

"Evans, you said you loved me. I don't think you can be over that so easily." he tried again.

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter," she said with disgust. "I did not love you, I never could. I just fooled myself in thinking that. And it's not so easily. It's been two years now. I think it's more than enough, don't you?"

"What if I said I liked you now?" he dared. "Would you still not want me ?"

Lily stared at him. When he thought she would not answer, she whispered a response, which was nearly inaudible:

"The problem is that I would never believe you."

"Why not?" he inquired puzzled.

"Well, how could I?" she raised her voice. "After everything you've done, how could I?" she looked him in the eye, challenging him to say otherwise. To be bold enough and state he had never hurt her willingly. That those tears he had seen so many times fall from her eyes were never meant to leave their home in the first place. That all those remarks and jokes had been meant for her to laugh at them, not to be laughed at.

Of course, James was left without words. He knew it was true. Everything. But he couldn't take it back. There were too many things to take back. He had committed too many mistakes.

This time, when Lily recoiled, he did nothing. He was left there alone, in the middle of the corridor, thinking, and wondering, what could've been.

He was incredibly confused, as he had been all summer thinking about her. He had thought that returning to school and talking to her to clear things would change this. But it hadn't. And now, she didn't like him anymore. How ironic.

Comments are incredibly appreciated:)

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