Forever Love
When you smile,
With those eyes,
Baby it's like,
You place a finger on my heart.- Anna Nalick
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lily was sitting in the third row. People thought she was a nerd because she got good grades. But she was sitting in the third row. She always had.
Most people who didn't know her thought this way. Not only of her, but of all her friends. Some more than others. They had the reputation because they were good girls, and intelligent ones, and they hadn't been able to change it in the past seven years.
Lily was thinking of this while she secretively doodeled on a piece of parchment. At first, it had been incredibly frustrating, trying to make people believe that she didn't study as hard as they thought, that she had a life. After a while, however, it just became downright annoying.
She was sitting beside Sam, who was laughing discretely at Lily's past drawings. Lily glanced her way and snorted. She couldn't help but get bored, especially in Ancient Runes. She had no idea why she had stayed in that class. Probably because at first she had ignored the fact that it was what they called the "Sleeping Time" class. Really original.
She removed her sight from her piece of parchment to scan the class quickly. Wherever she looked, there were closed eyes, people talking and paying no attention whatsoever. Mr. Cranium wasn't respected much, to say the least. Lily partly felt sympathy for him, but also an irrational anger, because his students didn't show any tipe of consideration for him.
Her eyes suddenly stopped when she caught a glimpse of that familiar unraveled hair. She couldn't help it. He was sitting one row before her, but he was leaning backkwards, talking with his friend Sirius who was just behind him. His eyes had a mischevious glint, making sure everyone knew what they were up to: a new prank.
She didn't even bother looking at the rest of the Marauders. Sure, they were extremely attractive too. Even Peter, the smallest of the group, had his crowd. Not that Lily understood why.
But her admiration was such for James Potter, even after all these years of torments, that she just had to stare at him. She didn't understand herself really. She thought she might be a masochist, liking the one person who had hurt her so deeply.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Two years before, a lankier Lily was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts, looking for a certain boy who had been in her thoughts lately. She looked at him with pure adoration in her eyes, not understanding how Merlin had created such a wonder and had allowed her to see it. In her eyes, James Potter was perfect.
She had told her friends some months before, finally admitting her feelings to them. They had only shrugged and said that they didn't understand what she saw in him, but that it was okay with them. When Lily had heard this, she couldn't believe it. For her, it was pretty obvious from where her devotion came from. ¿How could anyone think any other way?
However, it had taken her months to decide to tell him. He was part of the popular crowd, and had never even acknowledged her. In her heart, Lily thought deeply that she wasn't enough for him. Not pretty enogh, not intelligent enough, not funny enough… She could see perfectly why he dated all those other girls and never even darted a glance her way: they were all better for him. She understood that she didn't stand a chance.
However, that sunny October morning, Lily had been caught gawking at him by no other than Sirius Black. She had immediately turned away and blushed deeply. She hated terribly her easyness to blush. Nevertheless, she had looked again, and had found Sirius laughing and James winking her way. She turned around, sure that he was winking at his newest date, but there was no one behind. She flushed even more and decided that that day would be the day that she confessed her crush on him to James Potter.
+-+-+-+-+-+
So there she was, in search of her Marauder. After telling her friends that she was finally going to give the big step, they had decided that first, she should get ready. So they had applied make-up, had done her hair, and had dressed her in such a manner that they thought James could never think abouy saying no.
She finally found him with his friends near the lake. They were talking animatetly with some girls, and Lily felt jealous instantly. She approached them quitly and slowly. When she was about scarcely a meter away from them, Remus Lupin, one of the four handsome Marauder, noticed her and turned her way, with a polite smile and questioning eyes. Lethargicly, the rest of the clique did the same thing, until every single one of them was facing her way, making her blush and play with the hem of her skirt. Finally, after a long uncomfortable silence were Lily was left without words, not knowing how to act in front of all these popular people, looking lost and confused, like a small girl, Remus helped her:
"Lily,you wanted something?" he said nicely.
Lily finally awoke from her stupor, and managaded to squeak a nearly inaudible yes. They continued staring at her, waiting for a reason, not used to shyness. She started talking again, controlling her voice this time and making it sound kind of confident:
"Well, I was wondering if James would mind if I share a few words with him." They all waited. "Alone."
"What do you have to tell Jamie that you can't tell the rest of us?" James' new girlfriend asked rather annoyingly.
"We-ll. " she stammered, all assurance long gone. "It's kind of personal."
"And why exactly would you have to say anything personal to James." The girl started again. At this, Remus, always the considerate one, helped Lily.
"James, just go and hear what she has to say." At this, James nodded and followed Lily a few metres away. When they reached a stop, James looked at her expectantly, glancing quickly every few seconds at his group of friends, where he belonged. When he was alone, he would never admit it, but he had always felt alone. Finally, Lily decided to talk:
"Well, you see James, I think that…" she frowened and decided to start again, after all, she didn't think it, she knew it. " This is difficult for me to say. " She looked his way and he nodded seriously. " I like you."
There it was, finally out. She let a deep breath out which she didn't realize until then she had been holding. She examined James nerviously, afraid of his opinion, but even more curious. What she wasn't expecting was what came next:
"So you would like to go out with me?" he asked, smiling. She hadn't expected it to be so simple.
"Well, yes!" she answered excitedly. "I would love to!"
Then, he turned to where his friends where standing, and shouted in their direction:
"Do you ear that guys? Lily Evans, Queen of the Dorks, wants me to go out with her. Pathetic." At this comment, all the gang started laughing hysterically. Even Remus cracked a smile, betraying Lily's trust. They hadn't been really friends, but had talked when they bumped into each other in the library and now at prefects meetings. She couldn't believe she was being laughed at.
"Look James." She started, trying to defend herself, but failing miserably. " I just thought you should know. Hat you would like to know."
"Why Evans? You thought I would want to be with a geek like you? Well, don't think, cause not even studying si going to make you good at it." By then, the whole clique had advanced to where the two were standing, so they were able to listen to everything, and laugh at the appropiate time.
They were doing just that, when Lily decided she had had enough. The little pride she had left told her to leave, before things got any worse. So she turned, not being noticed as they were all roaring with laughter at James' new joke, which Lily hadn't been paying attention too, and started walking to the entrance. When she was sure that she wouldn't be seen, she started running, and didn't stop until she arrived to her room and sprung into her bed. She lied there, facing the now damp pillow.
She stayed like this some time, thinking hardly about what had happened. How could he have mocked her in such a way? What had she ever done to him to deseve such treatment? Shouldn't people feel pride, and not disgust, when another person admits their feelings towards them, even they are not reciprocated? She did not know the answer to these and many other questions, but she did know that she had thought of James as perfect for the las time. She had finally seen the light and sure, it had been painful, but it had been necessary too.
An hour later, her friends found her, finally asleep, peacefully. They had heard what had happened in the corridors of the school, where the word had already travelled, like it always does. They quietly threw away all the tissues lying around, and tucked Lily to sleep, waiting impaciently and anxious to hear her thoughts, and ready to craddle her in their arms if necessary. They were her friends, after all.
+-+-+-+-+
Lily came back from her memories to find herself again in Ancient Runes. She had matured since then and wouldn't commit the sames mixtakes. That incident had been followed by many others, not one of them worth remembering. James had made it his target to tease her and degrade her, and he had succeeded.
Lily had been through a phase were she even thought that she hated him, but had conclusively admitted that the only thing she hated, that she was capable of hating, was loving him. She did not know why. It was her prerogative.
James noticed a pair of eyes bore into his neck, and turned to see who the intruder was. He found himself staring to a surprised Lily. She hadn't acknowledged the fact that she was still looking at him. He smiled a half smile briefly, but not unkindly. She flushed, which she didn't even notice anymore, and raised her eyebrows.
They stayed like that, looking at each other seriously, not minding the rest of the world, until Sirius shoved James. The contact was broken, therefore braking the magic. James frowned and looked at Sirius, slightly mad, not knowing why.
"What?" Sirius commenced, in his usual form. " Why are you looking at me with that face if I'm stopping you from looking at her so you can look at me? I would be thankful of such an honour, but don't worry, that's what friends are for."
James couldn't help but snort and crack a smile, leaving a grinning Sirius. What he didn't know, however, was that Sirius was thinking about him, and Lily, together, and didn't like the thought one bit. No sir, not one tiny bit at all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Okay, so here I am again. I'm sorry for the delay, but I didn't get many reviews either…(hint,hint). I'm kind of in a bad mood, because I had finished this chapter before, and was ready to post it, but I had to do something else before, and when I got back, my father had turned off the computer, so half of the chapter was erased. So I had to rewrite it. It's not even the same. I've changed many small details.
So, until this chapter, it was more of a getting to know James' and Lily's past, to understand how they gor where they are. Obviously, this process isn't finished, but luckily, next chapter will have more plot.
So stick with me please? You know I love you all, right? (grins)
See you in the reviews you're going to give me!
-->