Chapter Two
James awoke the next morning with a throbbing temple. He rolled out of bed reluctantly and dropped his head into his hands. "Bloody hell…that's the last time I let you pour the firewhiskey, Padfoot."
The bathroom door creaked open and Sirius stepped out fully dressed in his uniform. "You say that every time, Jamie."
"Don't call me that." James stretched and glared at Sirius. "And just how do you manage to look that good with a hangover?"
"I," he loosened his tie to add to the rumpled and sexy effect, "Unlike you, Jamie, am naturally well-endowed in every aspect of life- especially holding my liquor."
"Is that so?" James drably began pulling on his clothes. "Where are Remus and Pete?"
Sirius held up a hand and began ticking off fingers. "Pete is M.I.A., but presumably stalking that Ravenclaw bird Chancy Lewis, and Moony is currently entertaining his more wolfy bits."
"That time already?" James perked up. "So…are we on for tonight then?"
Sirius hesitated. "Erm…actually, Moony said no."
James dropped his tie. "What? Why not?"
Sirius shrugged. "That's what I said. Plus a few embellishments from which I shall refrain for the sake of feminine ears."
"Huh?" James turned his head to follow Sirius' gaze.
Standing in the threshold of their dorm was Lily Evans, dressed to perfection, her thick auburn hair in an immaculate braid and her almond-shaped green eyes scanning the cluttered room with distaste. "Oh, please don't refrain on my account. I'm used to the language." She shot James an unyielding glare.
He blinked uncomfortably and then turned away, scoffing. "I'm not that much of a cad, thank you." He fumbled with the knot of his tie, getting it twisted round his usually deft fingers. "Oh, bloody hell!" He cried, tossing it across the room.
Lily appeared in front of him almost instantaneously, the tie pinned between her thumb and forefinger. She smiled and held it out to him delicately. "You're going to make me late, Potter."
He glared at her and ripped it from her hand. "Late for what?"
She sighed exasperatedly. "The meeting, James. The meeting."
James wrinkled his nose. "Meeting?" He began fiddling with his tie once more, this time using the mirror for judgment.
Lily repeated the sigh and followed him across the room. "The prefect meeting, Potter!" she cried at his reflection. "James, please tell me you remembered!"
James scoffed and shrugged nonchalantly. "Er…of course I remembered! Merlin, Lily. I am Head Boy, after all."
"Right. That's fantastic. All this time preparing and I bet you haven't exhausted one puff of energy to produce a single idea from that hollow skull of yours! Oh for- let me do it!" Frustrated with his fumbling fingers, she stepped in front of him and took the tie into her own hands, expertly creating the knot.
James stared down at her for a moment, her cheeks flushed with exasperation and her green eyes glowing intently, clearly swirling with thoughts…most likely fresh insults for him.
"Honestly…" she muttered to herself, her slender fingers smoothing the finished product.
It was momentary, if that, but James felt a shiver go up his spine as she did so. He glanced in the mirror to see Sirius smirking at his reflection, amusement dancing on his features.
James quickly shook out his hair and cleared his throat, then loosened the tie a bit for good measure. But when he turned back around, Sirius was still staring at him with that bloody smirk on his face.
Sirius shifted his attention as Lily turned around.
"How's the thinking cap, Lily dearest?" Sirius took a swig from an unidentified flask and slipped it back into the pocket of his robes. "Still functioning properly, I assume?"
"Perfect, thank you," she replied primly. "How's the equipment functioning, Black? Properly? Or wait…I do believe I heard otherwise from Delana Dove."
Sirius frowned and cracked his knuckles. "Well you heard wrong, love. Should we test out your theory?" he smirked and began sidling forward.
Lily stood her ground and whipped out her wand. Sirius went nearly cross-eyed staring down the tip of it, which she had pressed firmly to the end of his nose. He smiled and held up his hands. "Now, now, Lily…let's not be so hasty. Heh heh…"
She glared at him, and then flicked him in the face with it.
"Ow!" He clutched his nose and swore loudly.
"Letch. Now then," she whirled around to meet James once more. "Shall we be going? Please? We have a meeting to host."
"Right-O, jolly good!" Sirius sneered as James grabbed his cloak and followed Lily out. He caught James by the shoulder and leaned in briefly. "Remember what we discussed last night. Just stick with the plan."
James hesitated. "Plan?"
Sirius' face dropped. "You've forgotten already?" he slapped himself in the face. "Prongs!"
"What?" he shrugged. "It's not like I was completely coherent last night!"
Sirius heaved a sigh and grasped James firmly on the shoulder. "Alright. Just…leave it to me. Okay?"
James narrowed his eyes. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea-"
"Of course it's a good idea. Brilliant in fact," Sirius smiled at his own inventiveness. James could just see the ideas- bad, bad ideas- seeping from every orifice. "Besides- you seemed to think it was a fabulous idea when you were drunk."
"What?! Sirius-"
"James!" Lily poked her head back in the room expectantly. "Are you coming?"
James met Sirius' eyes and gave him one last look; one that said quite blatantly For the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT DO ANYTHING UNTIL I GET BACK.
"Yeah. Be right there."
The grin was still glued to Sirius' face, and after they shut the door, James could hear him laughing all the way down the staircase.
---
Lily flicked her wand and the last few chairs aligned themselves in a row. James cocked his head and counted the rows.
"Er… I think that's more than enough. There aren't that many prefects, you know."
"Better safe than sorry, Potter," Lily said primly and sheathed her wand in her pocket. "I want everything to be perfect. After all, we're the-"
"Head Boy and Girl," James finished briskly. "Yes, thank you, I got the notification in August."
Lily frowned and began fussing with the hem of her cloak. "It's just that the Yule Ball is coming up and we have to start planning. Have you even put any thought into a theme?"
"A theme? Isn't the theme, er, winter?" James frowned.
"But that's so dull. I want to do something exciting!" She held out her hands.
"Exciting. I see." James sniffed and readjusted his footing. "So, er, what's wrong with the normal theme again?"
Lily groaned and threw up her hands. "You don't get it, James! You just don't understand me! You are such a man. How could Dumbledore possibly have made us partners?" She began tugging relentlessly on her necktie. "Argh! Bloody thing is strangling me."
James raised an eyebrow. "What got your knickers in a twist? You've been grouchy all day. I mean, more so. Than usual."
"What? Nothing! I'm…fine…" Lily frowned and fixed her tie. "It's just…"
James' eyes softened. What was wrong? Could he do something to help her? Anything?
"It's just…Oh never mind."
"No, Lily." He put a hand on her shoulder and stared her down. "What's wrong? You can tell me."
She sighed and looked him in the eye. "I've just started my period."
"Auuuugggh!" James wrenched his hand away and wiped it on his cloak. "Er…I mean…Oh! I see…! How…interesting."
Lily didn't seem to notice his reaction. "And I just can't seem to concentrate. I mean, I always get so temperamental this time of month…I want this meeting to go well…"
"Lily," he interrupted, "Say no more. It's all right. I'll make sure the meeting goes fine."
Lily looked him in the eye. "Really? You won't screw it up?"
"Of course not."
"Thank you, James," she said sincerely. "That means a lot."
"No problem! Oh, here they come."
Lily smiled to herself. How sweet! Finally some initiative and-
"Alright, listen up you sods," James hollered. "Ms. Evans here is on the rag and she's not in the best of moods so let's move this little meeting along, shall we?"
All the prefects burst out laughing.
Lily's jaw dropped and her face flushed crimson.
"Oy! Quiet!" They all fell silent but for some sniggering from the Slytherins. James turned and grinned proudly. "See? I told you I'd keep them in line."
"Potter!" Lily hissed, mortified. "I can't believe you- you just-"
"No need, Lily," James smiled. "You can make it up to me later." He turned back to the prefects. "Right then. We're planning the Yule Ball. You two there are in charge of the decorations. You four the menu. You four the music. The rest of you…er…continue your prefect-ish things. Got it? Excellent. See you all in a week."
James flicked his wand and the chairs whipped out from underneath their bottoms and aligned themselves back against the wall. Half of the students toppled to the ground. James turned back to Lily, dusted off his hands, and grinned.
But Lily wasn't smiling. In fact, she looked quite ferocious. It wasn't exactly attractive.
"Er…something wrong?"
"YOU - OUTSIDE - NOW!" Lily hollered in his face. She whirled around and stomped out of the Great Hall, shoving the 5th year Hufflepuff prefects out of her way. They looked at one another, baffled.
James caught up with her in the courtyard. It was a crisp autumn day, and the birds were chirping in the trees. The sun was peeking out from behind a few clouds and-
"Ow!" James flung a hand up to his face where he'd felt a sharp sting.
Lily's wand was aimed at him, and glowing orange sparks were spitting out the end.
"Hey!" He rubbed the sore spot. "Now just what is your problem?"
"My prob-" Lily looked as if she was going to explode. "My problem is that everything is a joke to you, James Potter!"
James hesitated. "Now…that may be true, but that's what separates you and I." His eyes narrowed slightly, but the hazel depths of them still danced with amusement. A small breeze picked up and blew a few strands of his mussed hair across his forehead. "So why don't you accept that as a charming part of my personality and put that little wand down."
Lily glowered and tossed back her head. "I will not. You're still laughing at me. And I think the only way to make you stop is to teach you a lesson."
"Ha!" James threw his head back. "You're going to punish your fellow Head? In broad daylight in front of students?"
James jumped just in time. THWACK! A bolt of blue light shot from the tip of her wand, and nearly took off his leg. The hem of his right pant leg smoldered a bit, and he raised his head to meet Lily's angry eyes incredulously. "You did not just do that, Evans. Tell me that was an accident."
A few students who were studying by the fountain quickly packed up their things and scattered.
"On the contrary, Potter," Lily cocked her head tauntingly. "I'm sorry to say it wasn't."
James smirked and shook his head. With a quick flick, he'd rolled up his sleeves, and his wand appeared in his hand as if it had Apparated on it's own. "You really think you can take me in a Wizard's Duel?"
"That's not even a question in my mind, Potter."
"Well then, shall we-"
"EXPELLIARMUS!"
James wand went flying across the courtyard as did he, his back slamming painfully into a pillar. He clutched his head and looked up just in time to see a blast of orange heading straight for him. He tumbled nimbly out of the way and stretched his hand out toward his wand, wedged in a bush. "Accio," he hissed, and his wand rushed back into his clutches.
He leapt up just in time to fire a counter-jinx, which made Lily stumble. "So that's how we're going to play it, eh?" He adjusted his glasses and twirled his wand complexly. "Engorgio!"
"Protego!" Lily repelled the charm and shot another back at James, who dodged once more.
"There's a reason it's called a Wizard's Duel, Evans," James shouted, grinning, as he blocked her hex, "and not a Witch's Duel."
Lily fumed and narrowed her eyes. She mumbled something to herself and fired a blast from her wand. James smirked and flicked his wand to shield himself, but Lily was too quick. James was thrown back from the force, and blue gunk began oozing from his ears. "Ugh! Disgusting!" James shook his head furiously, and more goo flung across the courtyard. "But brilliant," he grinned.
Lily was silently congratulating herself, and missed James' quick comeback. Small red hives began popping up all over her skin and itched liked the dickens. "Argh!" She cried, scratching her skin uncontrollably in between firing more random hexes.
James shouted more back, and sparks, flames, and bolts of light shot back and forth over the cobblestones. There were chunks missing from stone pillars, rose bushes with smoldering holes through their centers, and benches overturned.
A few giant boils sprouted on James' bum and he grabbed himself with a sharp wince. "Ooh! Damn it, Evans, that's it! You're finished!" He raised his wand high and brought his arm down in one violent sweeping motion, crying, "Re-"
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
Lily and James froze, wands hanging numbly in midair. Neither could move.
McGonagall stood at the center of the courtyard, a fleck of blue gunk on her otherwise immaculate black robes. Her wand was pointed at them, a freezing charm having just escaped her pursed lips.
Robes billowing, she stepped cautiously over the rubble and bits of shrubbery to where the two Head students were glued helplessly to the spot. "Now this is even crossing the line for you, Potter, but Ms. Evans. I never…" She shook her head, and Lily's eyes dropped shamefully to her frozen feet.
With a flick of McGonagall's hand, the two were released from the spell and toppled to the stone floor.
"Really, now. What is going on, you two? Head Boy and Girl behaving in such a fashion. And in broad daylight no less!" She grimaced and shook her head. "Disgraceful."
"Please, professor, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to get so out of-" Lily tried to explain, not that there really was an excuse, but McGonagall held up a hand to silence her.
"I think you two are going to have to resolve your problems in detention. One month each, starting today. And 50 points from Gryffindor."
James opened his mouth to protest, but McGonagall silenced him. "Nothing out of you, Potter. This is completely inappropriate behavior for Head students. You should be setting an example! If there are issues you two need to sort out, I suggest you take advantage of all this time you will be spending together. Now, you can start by going straight to Madame Pomfrey, then my office this evening at 5 o'clock. Do not be tardy."
With that, she took one last bitter look at the demolished courtyard and turned on her heel.
"Well I hope you're happy, Potter," Lily growled, scratching her arms. "You've completely ruined my reputation!"
"Me?" he exclaimed. "You did this to yourself, Evans. Don't be blaming me for you imperfections."
"Imperfections? If anyone is imperfect it's you, James, you bloody prat."
"Lily!" James bellowed, furiously. "No one is perfect! Except you, apparently. Merlin! Get over yourself."
Before Lily could respond, James stomped off to the hospital wing, leaving Lily to stew. She opened her mouth then shut it again. How dare he? He was the self-absorbed one, after all. Not her. Merlin forbid she try to be the best she possibly could. Was that a crime?
She scratched at her rash and wandered over to the fountain and peered at her reflection. Along with the glowing red hives, she had somehow sprouted an extra set of ears, her left eye was blackened, and her hair, now purple, was standing on end.
Right. Perfect.
---
"Double, double, toil and trouble…" Sirius hummed to himself as he wandered the halls. He stopped whistling when he spotted exactly what he was looking for. "Oy! Pete!"
Peter Pettigrew turned his chubby blonde head and lit up when he spotted Sirius. "Oh, h-hey, Padfoot! Erm, I was wondering…" he shifted his bulging bag up higher on his shoulder. "Do you think we'll be…y-you know…" he lowered his voice to a wobbly whisper, "doing y-y-you-know-what with M-moony anytime soon?"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes."
"Oh good!" Peter brightened. "It's just, we haven't in quite awhile and I was b-beginning to think you were all going w-w-wi-without me or s-something-"
Sirius grabbed Peter's arm and turned him around, dragging him back down the hall in the direction he came from. "Listen, mate. I need your help."
"Oh! Well sure! Anything. What is it?" Peter stumbled along beside Sirius, trying to keep up with Sirius' long, slender legs.
Sirius lowered his voice and shook his feathery hair from his eyes. They glowed mischievously. "I've got to do James this favor, you see. It has to do with a certain red-haired fox."
"Lily," Peter interjected knowledgably.
"Right. Anyway, can you brew a potion up for me?"
Peter shrugged. "Sure. What do you need?"
Sirius tapped his chin. "Well I was thinking something along the lines of… Amortentia."
Peter stopped dead in his tracks and looked Sirius in the eye, quite uncharacteristically. "Amortentia." His voice was deadpan.
"Yes."
"Please tell me you're j-joking."
"No I am not."
Peter shook his head and turned around. "N-no. No way, Padfoot. That is crossing the line. Love potions are already outlawed in Hogwarts, but to brew the most powerful one in the w-world? I don't think so. Sorry."
Sirius grabbed at his sleeve. "C'mon, Pete! Please? Just this once- it's for a good cause, I promise."
"Doubtful."
"Pete. What about all those times I've helped you out?"
Peter looked at him. "Do tell."
"Touché." Sirius followed him down the corridors. "But this is a one time thing. It's for James. You've got to do it, Pete. You're the only one I can trust."
"Really?" Peter's voice softened a bit. "M-me?"
Sirius nodded matter-of-factly. "That's right, Wormtail. Only you can do this for me. You are fabulous at Potions, after all."
Peter was quiet a moment and then stopped in his tracks. The dark corridor was empty but for the mumbling of some paintings on the wall. "You swear it's for a good cause?"
"On my marauder's heart of mayhem."
"Comforting."
"So you'll do it?" Sirius nudged him expectantly.
Peter sighed. "I'm not saying I can even brew the stuff. It's extremely difficult, you know! Not to mention d-d-da-dangerous."
"Well you wouldn't be a Marauder otherwise."
"Look. I'll t-try. But I can't promise anything, Padfoot."
"Excellent." Sirius ruffled his blonde hair and sauntered off. "Meet me in the dungeons tonight!"
"Tonight?" Peter called back. "But I have to meet Chancy in the library for-" he paused and looked up to see a withered old woman in black peering down at him from one of the paintings. She was holding an ear trumpet and listening intently. Peter frowned and stalked off, cursing Sirius along the way.
Amortentia…how in the name of Merlin was he going to get away with brewing that?