Fallen Angel
Chapter 16
"Congratulations Ginny!" Orla -Neville's wife- greeted upon Ginny and Draco's late arrival that warm evening.
"Thank you," Ginny replied, kissing her friend on both cheeks and stepping aside so that Draco could to the same, though much there being a much larger gap between his superficial kisses and her face than it had been between the two women.
"This was very kind of you, and Neville," Draco added, Orla smiling big, practically giggling, excited to the point of luminosity. You wouldn't know by looking at her that she had a one-month-old baby keeping her up all night. She was like Ginny, a woman that loved being pregnant and being a mommy. It came natural. This was her destined state of being.
"It was nothing," she assured, leading them into her home, Ginny by the arm, Draco following behind. Ron appeared over Draco's shoulder then, however, and draped an arm around him heavily -Draco's knees nearly buckling- Ron surprising Draco enough for him to flinch. Ron smiled and pounded Draco in the stomach once in a way that was always just a little too rough for Draco's taste and reason enough for his initial cringe.
"Not that way, mate, the women are all in there. This way for us poor chaps who couldn't materialize plans quick enough," he said, leading Draco down a separate hallway, to find themselves in a sort of study or den, Neville in there, along with Dean Thomas, Harry, Remus, Derrick, and several of the Weasley brothers.
"Congratulations Draco," they said in unison. Draco seemed to shrink up a little under Ron's arm, but Ron preventing Draco's retreat by giving him a firm but jolly shove forward. He knew there was a time when Draco craved, strived, for this kind of attention. He knew Draco would fall into place again, be less of a shadow of his former self…so long as he wasn't allowed to retreat first.
"Draco," Neville greeted, holding out a hand as Draco was forced to take a step forward, leaving him no choice but to accept the gesture and try to smile. Orla was throwing Ginny a baby shower, all the women were invited, family, friends, close work associates, and the few men who were dragged along to the event were staying with Neville, so that he wouldn't have to suffer the emasculation of hosting a baby-shower in his house alone.
"Hello," he said quietly, Neville smiling in his happy chubby way that would normally be infectious if Draco weren't so damn uncomfortable. Neville was a little chubby, a little bald, and had a bad arm and leg due to the war, but he was happily married with a few kids and a new baby girl, as well as a quality job at the Ministry. He had come a long way from the bumbling buffoon of Hogwarts Draco always took him for.
"Let the women go into giddy raptures," Fred said, cutting in.
"Let's have a gentlemanly smoke," George finished, offering Draco a cigar, producing it out of thin air and pushing it into Draco's hand.
"I thought you had a smoke once the baby was born," Draco said, looking down at it warily, not sure if it was some kind of prank. The twins were kind of known for doing that after all.
"Well, if you would rather go in the other room with the bints and help unwrap gifts and hold up little booties and `ooh' and `aww' over them, that's fine," Fred said, taking the cigar back from Draco and George motioning towards the doorway. Draco narrowed his eyes at them.
"Oh, quit picking on him for one night, will you? Tonight is not only special for Ginny, you know," Neville said, patting Draco on the shoulder in that masculine way and Draco "ow"ing softly, everyone ignoring him.
"Fine," George said, handing Draco the cigar back, Fred holding up his wand to offer Draco a light.
"This isn't going to explode in my face or anything equally as disruptive and unpleasant, is it?" Draco asked, holding the cigar but not about to put it to his lips just yet.
"Honestly, we aren't always up to something."
"Only most of the time."
----------------------
Ginny sat in the living room amidst some two dozen baby-dazed women. Her sister-in-laws were all there, of course, as was her mother, and Draco's mother. Ginny's closest female friends joined her trusted co-workers that night, as well as Clarissa, Tonks, and Draco's aunt Andromeda. It was quite a full-house, and there were plenty of gifts to show for it. Hermione was there, but Ginny hadn't said a word to her yet. Hermione looked frazzled, and desperate, even choosing to sit directly beside Ginny despite the more abundant and far more comfortable seats that were further away. She was determined to reconcile with Ginny, and denied there being anything amiss when asked if there was a problem, Ginny's cold shoulder noticed by everyone in that warm and bubbly atmosphere. The frosty fashion was something Draco had taught her, only throwing salt in Hermione's wounds with that obvious reminder of the man they rowed over so frequently.
Despite this being Ginny's shower, she had to compete with Hermione for sole attention, given the rivalry of belly sizes they had going on in their laps, side-by-side as they were. Ginny did not appreciate this, and Hermione realized only too late that her choice of seating seemed to imply some sense of bitter resentment and enmity. Not her intention, but the damage done, Ginny's shoulder turned away from Hermione, her lips tight. This was her special night and she wasn't about to let Hermione ruin it.
Orla parading around her newly born and still so tiny baby, Abigail, did not bother Ginny as much. It wasn't competition; it was just baby-love all around.
"Aww," the women all chimed in a chorus as Ginny opened another gift -using Clarissa's lap beside her due to hers disappearing under her pregnant belly and was therefore unusable- and held up another tiny outfit, clearly boy-ish is style but everything for newborns frilly and workable regardless of sex.
"Thank you, Angelina," Ginny said, beside herself with elation holding the impossibly small shoes in her palm and pulling out the little socks that would be worn with them, all the women cooing and `aww'ing over their dainty, thimble-like size.
"You know I love you, babe," Angelina said, holding up her drink in a sort of toast to Ginny, sitting across the room with one leg crossed over the other, at a perfect vantage-point to appreciate all the cuteness being unveiled.
The women all jumped a little with a loud POP coming from the other room, and then a ruckus that seemed to flood into the hallway and come at them. Fred and George appeared, laughing, running very quickly, Draco in hot pursuit with a blackened face, pale eyes shining through it to look thoroughly infuriated.
"Get back here you yellow bastards, I'm gonna rip your arms off," Draco called after them, the boys disappearing as quickly as they had arrived, into the kitchen, Harry, Ron, and the other's following after, trying to keep their laughing down so as not to be a continuing distraction for the women and their party. Neville brought up the rear and looked over the room while apologizing softly as he hurried towards the noise in the kitchen where Draco likely had the twins trapped, unless magic was being used, in which case there was no telling the mess he would find, or who would be left.
"Boys," Hermione said disapprovingly, as though in Draco's defense -her effort obvious- Ginny shaking her head and trying not to laugh at her poor Draco's expense but knowing her brother's too well.
"I never really pictured him as the fast on his feet variety of wizard. He's pretty fast for a gimp," Angelina commented smoothly.
"They really need to stop picking on him or he is actually going to kill them in their sleep one night," Ginny said, placing her hand on her stomach where the baby was kicking.
"All in good fun," Tonks said, still barely able to breathe with all her laughing after having seen her baby cousin run by in the way that he had, in the state he was. Hermione's first potion perked Draco up considerably, obviously, but Draco would be definitely regretting his chase come morning.
Narcissa was looking thoroughly un-amused, and Molly was trying to be respectfully quiet, her sons once again picking on Narcissa's little boy. The women had had words over this previously, and this wasn't the place to bring it up again, but Narcissa was protective of her little Angel, and Molly held firm to her belief that Draco needed to be toughened up just a touch. She was never one for porcelain dolls, as she said.
The women went back to their gift opening and chorusing of womanly `ooh'ing, gift after gift presenting them with some new and tiny thing to hold up and share. Most of the women there were mothers themselves, so they could reminisce and relate and dwell in the nostalgia of the moment. This was not the first baby-shower Ginny had ever been to (she had a LOT of nieces and nephews), but her first received, and she was ecstatic. What only made it better was Draco stopping in to join her, or more like pout beside her for a few moments because her brother's were being mean. He wasn't a ragdoll -as much as Molly would love him to rather become- and he hoped they would love him for who he was eventually, superciliousness and all.
"Hey babe," she said, Draco leaning down and around her shoulder from behind to give her a kiss, there still black soot on his jaw line and side of his nose despite his obvious attempt to wipe his face clean with the bottom edge of his now soiled shirt.
"I see a lot of little bits of clothing that seem to be of the male persuasion. Am I the only one still humoring the idea that we are having a girl?" he drawled, looking down at the pile of tiny little outfits near Ginny's feet as she licked her thumb and wiped at Draco's face in a very Molly-motherly way, Draco tilting his head away like any boy would.
"It is just common sense, Draco, to get little clothes that can work for a boy. I mean, if we have a little girl she can wear tiny trousers and look fine, but could you imagine having to garb a boy in a little frilly dress?" she laughed, Draco rolling his eyes as he squatted down between her and his daughter, regretting his heist in chasing down Fred and George now but trying to keep that fact to himself.
"My mother dressed me in frilly things, I turned out okay," he argued, glancing around in a slightly joking manner as though daring someone to say otherwise, Molly smiling at Narcissa who preened at her hair a little, something she did often when put on the spot and trying to act indifferent. Andromeda looked like she was chewing on her tongue, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth as she sat on the opposite side of her sister but glanced sideways at Molly, who seemed to be on the same page as her.
"Oh, we know. Prior to the opening of gifts we played the baby-picture game," Tonks said, Ginny trying to not laugh as Draco looked at her.
"The what?"
"It's a game you play at showers, you take baby photos of everyone who attends and try to guess who goes to what photo," Ginny explained, Draco suddenly looking mortified.
"You were an adorable little girl, Draco," Tonks laughed, the women all chorusing with their giggles, Narcissa looking affronted and Draco horrified.
"It's alright, babe, Tonks is just trying to get your goat," Ginny said, holding Draco's chin and turning his face to give his cheek a firm kiss.
"I wish she would leave my goat alone." Draco was pouting again.
"Speaking of little girls," Orla interrupted, standing to come over with Abigail. She offered the tiny baby to Draco, he being someone she knew would appreciate the acquaintance.
Draco stood with much help from the arm of Ginny's chair and accepted the baby quite readily, holding the tiny sleeping girl in his arms and looking down at her chubby little face with a light in his eyes his rarely bore as of late -mostly due to the medication.
"Mind her head," Orla said out of habit, even though Draco was holding her quite properly. She was a new mom, new moms insisted on telling people on how to hold their babies; it was their nature, and right.
"Ready to be a daddy already," Molly said, reaching around Clarissa to pat at Draco's lower back as he held the baby so easily.
"All my life," he said, looking beyond Abigail to wink at Clarissa who smiled. Her wildly curling hair was pilled back, in a twisting braid with ribbons throughout, wild frothy curls escaping all around her face and ears, ears that were newly pierced with glittery pink rhinestone hearts. She was making a ribbon and bow bouquet for Ginny out of the remnants of all the opened gifts. She was having a blast, and had baby-fever, like everyone else in the room. He hoped that it would be satisfied with her becoming a big-sister, because Draco wasn't about to become a grandfather until he was in his nineties. He had already thoroughly explained this fact to both his children, more than once.
"Come on, Draco," Ron called, jeering at Draco as he stood there amongst the women, holding the baby, frills and bows all about his feet, soot on his shirt.
"Go on, Dre, this is for the women," Ginny said, patting his bum to get him moving. Draco seemed reluctant to give the baby back, as Ginny had predicted. Orla and Neville had the baby girl Draco wanted so badly. They would have to check Draco's pockets before they left because he was going to smuggle that baby home if no one watched him closely.
"Pansy-arse," Ron teased.
"You would be the one noticing my arse, now wouldn't you," Draco retorted, as always implying Ron was gay and had fantasies of him, effectively giving Ron incentive to shove him into the hallway wall as they walked side-by-side back to the den to be with the men.
"Arse-hole."
"Again with the arse…honestly, Ron, you need to find yourself a girl…or a chap, you know…whichever you prefer," Draco said, laughing by that point while dodging Ron's rough shoves as he hurried past.
"Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be hooking me up, mate."
"I am working on it; she is just a little reluctant to talk to me."
"I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to talk to you," Ron retorted while rolling his eyes. Draco elbowed him in the gut then, for once initiating the boy-ish violence between them. He was quick to dodge out of the way, however, "ow"ing as Ron managed a blow to Draco's shoulder blade.
Draco was the first to enter the room, Ron not far behind, but they collided when Draco abruptly stopped, Ron not expecting that given their hurried pace.
"Malfoy," he grumbled, nearly knocking the smaller man over but still the one annoyed.
"Hello, Marcus." Draco ignored Ron and spoke to the one responsible for his sudden halt.
Looking up from his desk, Marcus first laid eyes on Draco Malfoy in more than a decade, and though his smile did not wilt, a tightness gripped his eyes as he saw him sitting there.
"Draco Malfoy, I was expecting you, come in, have a seat…" He stopped there because it was habit to offer a seat, but Draco was already seated…in a wheelchair...Marcus cleared his throat. "Can I get you some tea before I get into it?" he said quite welcomingly, recovering quite nicely. Draco looked like s skeleton and in just about as good of health. Marcus wanted to offer him a hand, but had a suspicion Draco would not accept it, or appreciate the gesture, so he seated himself behind his desk and held out a hand to indicate the vacant position across from him.
"This will take a while, please," he said, waving his hand, busying himself with the paperwork before him so as to make it obvious he was not watching as Draco rolled himself into that room, it an obvious strain leaving him exhausted.
"Well, here we are," Marcus said, bright-eyed and excited, Draco dull and breathing slow and steady, as though it were an exercise. "I'm not sure how much you know, or what you have been told about this, so let me start by summarizing this program, outlining the intent, and offering you some initial assurances that I am here to be of service to you, then we can move on to answering whatever questions you have." He was still smiling, still trying to get Draco to feel safe enough to welcome this idea, this support, but by the look on his skeletal face, Marcus knew this was the beginning of a long road ahead.
"Why don't I actually start with some questions, so I know where to start, hmm?" he offered, opening his file and picking up a quill. Draco watched him, his eyes sunken in and blacked -to the point of looking bruised- dull and barely alive.
"You have been released from Azkaban for, three months?" he asked, the question a frail attempt at initiating conversation, he already knowing exactly how long Draco had been out, Draco knowing he knew.
"How are you fairing?"
Draco said nothing.
"Have any concerns?"
Draco was silent.
"I see here that you were released into your mother's care, but I know that you are not currently living with her. Is there a problem, an issue I should be aware of?"
Draco was unmoving.
"She kicked you out, correct?" Marcus pressed, wishing for Draco to speak, even if he had to strike a nerve, provoke him. "She didn't like some things you were doing?"
Draco's eyes finally drifted over to meet Marcus' and remained there, that glare of his so deathly it sent chills down his spine.
"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?" Draco drawled, slow and malevolent.
"Your mother kicked you out of her house because she disapproved of your drug use." It was not a question this time, and Draco's obvious tremors traitor to his condition. He was shaking so badly, he looked like he was on the verge of a fit. Marcus knew the signs of withdrawal well, and it saddened him to a degree unimaginable, to see Draco in this state.
"Draco, I work with many werewolves, you are not the first one to walk into my office strung out and sweating, shaking in pain and dazed. Drugs are a real issue within the werewolf community, that is why this office was established, to try and improve your conditions. Your mother threw you out; do you think that was because she doesn't love you, or because she felt it was for the best?"
"Right, because I am so much better now." Draco's tone was impatient as tremors shook his skeletal frame. No amount of nappy clothing could conceal how disgustingly frail he had become.
"I think she was concerned about your children, Draco," Marcus argued, though delicately, Draco's eyes falling away at the mention of his children. "I'm here to help you."
"I don't need your help."
"Draco, you live under a sink," Marcus was suddenly firm, "in a ramshackle public restroom. When was the last time you have eaten?"
Draco said nothing.
"When was the last time you showered or combed your hair?"
Draco said nothing.
"When was the last time you saw your children?"
Draco looked down.
"Draco, you need my help. The Ministry has set up this office so that I may help you. I'm here to support you, in whatever matters that come up as a result of your Lycanthropy."
"You can't help me, no one can."
"I'm not offering a cure, Draco, don't misinterpret. I am here to help you kick some bad habits and reintroduce you to society. You have spent the last decade in Azkaban and a lot has changed in that time."
"Everything is exactly the same. Everyone hates werewolves, and everyone blows Harry Potter," he grumbled, Marcus sighed.
"Adalwulf is taking a very proactive stance here. He is making Wolfsbane available, right? He is giving you a job," he said, his tone mildly patronizing in its earnest and lightness, like he was arguing with a child.
"A job?" Draco asked, a harsh tremor ripping through him at that moment, though that not enough to hide his curiosity. His tangled, dirty hair stuck up in odd directions, it having been growing in since he shaved it upon his release, but him not having cared for it in weeks.
"Yes. Sebastian Aurum has taken it upon himself," -Draco groaned, knowing just how much Sebastian Aurum hated him- "to find you a position within the Ministry of Magic."
"Am I really expected to work alongside humans, within the Ministry itself?"
"It is a position far below your qualifications, really, down in the Hall of Records, but it pays, and not terribly. You would have enough to live on, if you could kick your drug addictions."
"I'm trying," Draco sighed, his exhaustion breaking the surface, past his suffering.
"I can help you. I know you took your first hit of heroine because another werewolf offered it to you, right after you were attacked and left for dead. It helped with the pain, didn't it?" he asked, Draco not answering, the truth known between the two of them. He was crippled in that wheelchair because of a group of people did not like Death Eaters, or Werewolves, or him, or possibly a combination of all three. He had been denied proper medical care and was in constant agony. When his friend had strapped a belt around his arm, and stuck him with a needle, Draco hadn't protested. He wanted the suffering to end, one way or another. "We can get you out of that wheelchair," he promised, Draco just shaking.
"Just sitting is torture, every second is an eternity of agony," he said, tremors making his voice tremble, or maybe that was the tears.
"I'll help you, Draco. I have the authority to give you some potions, to help you cope with the pain, to help ease you through your withdrawals so that you can get clean, for your mum, your two beautiful children, for yourself. You over-dosed once already, was that not close enough to death for you?"
Draco was shaking, and rocking. Sweat made his face shine and hair string. He hugged his elbows tight, trying not to sob in pain.
"You weigh, what, 93 pounds?" Marcus asked, flicking his wand in Draco's direction and a set of red numbers appearing above Draco's head, revealing the ghastly truth. "You need food, and proper shelter."
"I have no where to go."
"I will contact your mother.
"No."
"I can tell her you are seeking help."
"I'm not, this is mandatory."
"Mandatory or not, you are kicking your habits, you are going to be walking again, working…you want to be a father, right?" Draco looked away. "Right?" Marcus pressed.
"I didn't mean to fuck everything up like this," Draco finally divulged, tears already streaking his face from the pain, now from his self-loathing despair. "I got out of Azkaban and I was just so happy, I was filled with a new vitality, a longing for life and love and sunlight and…" he sobbed. "What I have now is not a life, it is hell, worse than Azkaban because at least there I could see my children. My mother wont let me near them, I can't even bare to imagine what they think of me."
Marcus' face frowned with his empathy. He wished he could do more for Draco, but he knew Draco needed to fight this battle on his own, it was his strength of will that would decide if he survived this. He knew of a way to help, however.
"I have something here for you, Draco," he said, closing one file, shifting it aside, and opening another. "It was sent to me by return owl after I sent my letter requesting your audience," he explained, indicating Draco before him there. "I tried at your mother's house first, hoping she would pass on the message to you. It seems like someone intercepted," he said, unfolding a piece of parchment paper and holding it out to Draco.
Draco looked at it, then at Marcus.
"Take it, and I want you to read it out loud to me, it isn't long."
Draco took the paper with a shaking hand, almost falling out of the chair as he leaned but managing to stay upright as he turned the paper around so that it was right-side-up.
Draco licked his salty lips, frowning his brow in concentration, it difficult for him to see without his glasses.
Written in green crayon was a letter to Marcus.
"Dear Mr. Belby," Draco read slowly, the words coming slowly and broken up as he read them. "Please help my daddy find his way home," he read, already his voice caught in his throat. Marcus just folded his hands together under his nose, so as to hide much of his face, his creased eyebrows giving away how difficult it was for him to listen to Draco read this letter.
"He was so happy when he got home, he hugged us and wouldn't let go, for weeks he never left our sides. He promised us he would never leave. We know he did not mean to break his promise. We know he is sick." Draco sniffed back his tears and read on.
"My sister and I waited our whole lives to have our daddy. We know he is broken, and lost, but he is still good. If you could help him see that we love him, for exactly who he is, my sister and me know he will come home. We do not have much, but we are willing…" -Draco sobbed- "to give everything we have, even our last Knut from our Niffler-bank, to help you reach him. Sincerely, Michelangelo and Clarissa Malfoy."
Draco let his trembling hands fall into his lap, the letter held there limply.
"It came with a drawing by your daughter, of a great white wolf. I presume it is you." Marcus held out the drawing, the message "I love my daddy" written with a heart rather than the word `love', scrolled across the top in purple crayon. Draco crumbled at that point.
"They love you, Draco, unconditionally. You promised them you would never leave them, but you will, if you keep on living this way. You will die, Draco," Marcus pressed, his voice soft, his words weighty.
Draco rocked back and forth.
"I'm here to help you, Draco."
"Draco, sorry I am late; I only just got away from the Ministry. They have been grilling my arse for days now," Marcus sighed, Draco stepping towards the man who was his rock in very stormy seas, the man he had inadvertently gotten in a lot of nasty trouble with this baby business.
"Marcus," Draco said, his tone making it obvious he was meaning to apologize and Marcus holding up his hand while shaking his head, having none of that. Everyone in the room was silent, not wanting to interrupt, pretending to not be eavesdropping.
"Don't mention it, Dre."
"I feel just awful. You have done so much for me and my family…"
"We have discussed this already."
"I know, but I have something more to add."
Marcus looked at Draco expectantly, though with a weighty sense of disapproval, like he didn't want to allow Draco to apologize and blame himself more for the trouble he was in, but was willing to let him do it quickly if it made him somehow feel better.
"You agreed to help me when I went to you with news that I was in a relationship, even though you knew I was contractually bound by the Ministry to be chaste. You helped me -despite being furious- when you found out about Ginny being pregnant. You should have turned me in to the department heads, but you didn't. You knew the Ministry would eventually find out, it was only a matter of time, but you saw Ginny privately, coached us through the difficult months, stayed late and did research so as to help us. You are losing your job because of me."
"Draco, don't make this into a guilt-trip, please. You never forced me to do anything. I helped you, because I felt it was the right thing to do, the same reason I have always helped you. I have told you this already, I have no regrets. I would do this same thing again, in a heartbeat."
"I know," Draco said, bowing his head a bit as though acknowledging Marcus as admirable. "I have discussed this with Ginny, and she feels as strongly as I do on the matter."
"What matter?"
"We wouldn't be having a baby shower right now if it weren't for you. We wouldn't be having this baby at all if it weren't for all you have done for us."
"Draco…"
"Ginny and I would like for you to be the baby's Godfather, Marcus."
The room was silent, everyone no longer pretending they were not listening. Marcus was a bit on the spot given that, but he didn't take his eyes off of Draco, who was looking at him with those silver eyes he could make look so meek from behind his white choppy hair tossed across his forehead.
Draco waited for Marcus' response.
"Godfather?"
"You have become more than just an authority in my life; you were a friend to me when I had none. I trusted you with my secrets and you put up with…well…me. I owe you so much, and I feel this is wrong of me to ask more of you, but should anything happen to me, I know I can trust you to do all in your power to take care of my child," he said, feeling a bit exposed and vulnerable being so sharing like this, but he stood tall, shoulders slumped only slightly, chin only a fraction inclined towards the floor.
"Draco, a burden this is not. An honor, my friend, it would be to be your child's godfather," Marcus finally said, Draco's smile of relief infectious as even Ron found himself grinning broadly at that point, Bill holding up a glass in toasting fashion, Draco embracing Marcus in a very masculine hug.
"I thought I was going to be the godfather," Bill said some moments later, still smiling, still drinking, sliding a strong arm around Draco's shoulders.
"You were in the top three," Draco teased as Bill knuckled him in the stomach.
"Cake," came a distant call from one of the women, and like a stampede, the men dropped every conversation in the room and herded towards the hallway, intent on getting their hands on some of that cake they had been eyeing all night and denied with slaps on the hand when they tried to finger the frosting.
"Alright, alright, there is enough for everyone. George! Put that down, I haven't cut slices yet!" Molly ordered, clearly the one in charge of feeding the boys, she was most experienced.
"We don't need slices, this half of the cake is ours," Fred argued, hoping -like his brother- to make off with an entire sheet of the cake.
Molly gave her twins a stern look. Draco recognized it, the posture, it being a stunning similarity between her and her daughter. Draco was ready to listen; he had learned to fear the wrath of a red haired woman when her hands flew to her hips.
"Draco," Hermione said, the commotion around the tables laden with food giving her ample opportunity to finally approach him that night.
"Don't, Granger," Draco said blandly, knowing already why she was there beside him, and though he was hardly being harsh -keeping tones light would help their conversation drift unnoticed amongst the excited chatter of the room- he was not being accommodating either.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I did. I was -am- worried for Ginny, and she came to me when I wasn't expecting her, not but two hours after you left, and what I thought was a good idea at the time, turned out to be terrible. I'm sorry."
"This is the part where you say `I should have trusted you, I shouldn't have been an insufferable narrow-minded arrogant know-it-all, I really messed up, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?'" he listed off, Hermione not about to disagree with what they both knew to be absolutely true.
"You are forgiven, Granger," Draco said, Hermione opening her mouth, prepared to argue, and then caught off guard by what Draco had actually said.
"Wait, what?"
"Do you want me to be mad?" he blinked at her, helping himself to a large piece of cake.
"NO, I mean, of course not. I was just expecting you to be a little more…"
"Problematic?"
"Intolerable."
"I know you meant well, I can honestly say that. I have spent years asking for forgiveness, how improper would it be of me to refuse you, when all I ask is forgiveness from you. Come-on, I know you can find it in your heart to see past the past."
Hermione was staring.
"I'll let you eat on it."
Draco walked away at that point, leaving Hermione in that stupor he had induced.
"So I hear we are going to get a performance out of you, Draco," Lillybell, one of Ginny's coworkers and rabid Draco-fan, gushed, coming up to him after having eyed him from across the room. She was a girl outside the norm. She wore a pin on her lapel that read "Werewolves are people too" and seemed to have a crush on Draco, Ginny finding it funny, Draco made a bit uncomfortable by it. He was nice, however, since Lillybell worked with the public relations department of the Ministry, and she was certainly someone you wanted to have like you.
"Yes, well, I am feeling better thanks to a new dose of potion I have started taking, and music is a language anyone can understand," he said, trying to eat his cake politely while forced to talk. He kept his hand in front of his mouth as he chewed, his mother able to pick up on the sound of him talking with his mouthful from all the way across the room, over top of everyone else talking even, and gave him a stern disapproving look. Andromeda nudged her firmly.
"What are you trying to say?" she asked, not having to fake interest, leaning in and eating up everything he had to say as though it were cake. Draco leaned back a touch, Ginny casually watching from a distance and smiling.
"You will just have to wait like everyone else."
"Ginny doesn't even know."
"I am aware that you have pestered her already."
"You can't fault me for curiosity," she giggled.
Draco said nothing. He supposed her curiosity wasn't something he would fault her for, he more had a problem with her blatantly flirting with her friend's boyfriend, the father of whom this shower was intended. He thought maybe she had no shame, but he got a strong impression she just did not realize how much she flirted.
"Help me," Draco projected to Ginny, Ginny setting her food down to waddle over to him.
"Mind if I nab him for a while?" she asked, winking at Lillybell and her friend getting a very strong but wrong impression as to the nature of this abduction. Lillybell just nodded approvingly.
"You were practically bent over backwards in your attempt to lean away from her," Ginny laughed.
"The benefits of having such an abnormally flexible spine. You feeling alright?"
"I was about to ask you that."
"I know you were." He smirked.
"I'm fine."
"The baby?"
"Kicking, kicking away," Ginny sighed, stopping and allowing Draco to round her to be at her front. She placed her hands on her lower back as she looked down at her belly between them.
Draco reached down to feel his baby kicking, and it did for a moment, then it was quiet.
"Is it terrible?" he asked, unable to ever know the sensation of having something moving around inside him. He wasn't exactly jealous given all Ginny suffered, but the idea of pregnancy was remarkable to him.
"It is startling sometimes, when it is sudden and hard. He sleeps when I sleep, and moves around when I do, so it isn't too much of a bother."
"He?"
Ginny just nudged Draco and he put down his plate to growl and slink around her, playfully biting at the side of her neck, Ginny tilting her head to the side to allow him, Draco's growling just a rumble from deep in his chest, playful like a dog's whilst playing tug-a-war, comforting to Ginny who had become quite accustomed and even applicative to Draco's unique sounds over the last couple months. He was quiet, but expressive.
Draco looked up slowly when someone cleared their throat. He kept his lips close to Ginny's skin, Ginny letting her arms fall to her sides.
"Sorry," Neville said, looking a little uncomfortable under Draco's silver gaze. "Everyone has their food and are sitting around the front room. You wanted to be told when everyone was settled?" he asked, or reminded, Draco pulling away from Ginny with one last deep breath of her scent.
"Yes."
"Your song?" she asked.
"I have to make a spectacle of myself." There was a faint but familiar shadow of his former arrogance there and Ginny smiled. She loved the sensitive chaos he was now, but a part of her would always love that arrogant prat she resented so deeply in Hogwarts.
Neville lead the way, though the escort was not necessary, it helped Draco feel as though every eye was not on him as he entered with his guitar in hand. Every eye was on him, however. Ginny had recounted many-a-time Draco's romantic serenades with his guitar, but at this point no one else had ever head him sing. He was known to strum at his guitar when company was over, and that was impressive, but nothing compared to the anticipation of his singing. Draco boasted himself as a man of many talents; so far he had proven himself to be everything he had claimed.
"Let's hear it, Angel," Derrick encouraged, knowing he wouldn't be mistaken for teasing. Draco sat down with Ginny, pulled his pick out from under the stings at the neck of his guitar, and cleared his throat in what could only be a nervous fashion.
"Right," he muttered, looking around the room, counting the heads, stopping after twenty and swallowing thickly. "I'm nowhere near drunk enough for this," he joked, though being serious too, wishing he had some liquor in his system, just enough to dull his nerves.
Hermione stood beside Harry and held his hand tight. Ron was beside his mother, who was beside Narcissa, who was gently running her fingers through her excited granddaughter's curls as she sat beside Andromeda, Nymphadora and Remus. The room was packed full; the Weasley brothers and their wives, Ginny's coworkers, Dean, Neville, and Marcus all standing in a cluster near the door, blocking Draco's imagined escape.
He had asked for this, arranged for this, planned it. He was not about to back out now, this was important.
Draco started strumming the tune, after adjusting his strings, adjusting the position of the guitar on his lap, flexing his left hand's fingers. He held the pick left-handed, but his arm was still in a cast. The movements were stiff, but he managed, right hand's fingers pressing down on the strings in a well practiced fashion but him looking at them anyways, so he didn't have to be looking at the faces of those before him as he started to sing.
"Stranger than your sympathy, and this is my apology. I killed myself from the inside out, and all my fears have pushed you out," he sang solo, just him and his guitar, the opening lyrics to the song he knew so well and liked so much really drawing in everyone's attention, maybe even distracting them from their excitement over hearing his voice, that all on the wayside as he continued with his message.
"And I wished for things that I don't need…all I wanted…And what I chased won't set me free…all I wanted…And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees. Oh yeah, everything's all wrong, yeah. Everything's all wrong, yeah. Where the hell did I think I was?
"And stranger than your sympathy, take these things, so I don't feel. I'm killing myself from the inside out, and now my head's been filled with doubt.
"We're taught to lead the life you choose…all I wanted…You know your love's run out on you…all I wanted…and you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true…
"Oh yeah, It's easy to forget, yeah, when you choke on the regrets, yeah…who the hell did I think I was?
"And stranger than your sympathy, and all these thoughts you stole from me, and I'm not sure where I belong, and no where's home and no more wrong…
"And I was in love with things I tried to make believe I was…
"And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted…
"And all the darks, and all the lies, were all the empty things disguised as me…
"Mmm, yeah…
"Stranger than your sympathy, stranger than your sympathy…mmm hmm mmm…"
The silence that followed the song would have made anyone insecure about their delivery, but Draco's had been flawless. The message in the song, however, kept anyone from being able to simply clam and extol him for his effort.
Draco, very purposefully, looked right over at Harry and Hermione as they stood side-by-side, it obvious to whom he had been performing, who the lyrics were most specifically directed towards.
Ginny slid her arm under Draco's and pulled his right hand off the strings to lace hers with his, smiling at him in a proud fashion.
How she loved him so.
Author's note:
I'm so sorry this took SO long to post and it is SO short! I work too much. BUT I think I have some time off coming up!
This story starts to pick up now with the new "investigation" I have brewing, and babies from more than one character about to pop!
The song Draco performs in this chapter is called "Sympathy" and it is by my hometown heroes, the Goo Goo Dolls.
Listen to the song, PLEASE, it is PERFECT for Draco…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMZUYeDrl-c
Remember, I LOVE YOU, and thank you, ALL OF YOU, for the reviews I continue to get. I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS FIC! I just like sleeping sometimes…
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