The Talk
Morning came too soon for both Hermione and Harry, neither of them knowing that the other had not been able to sleep either and that since they were to meet each other a strange and unsettling feeling had settled on both of their bodies.
It was a quarter to eight when Harry apparated just outside of The Burrow and quietly made his way towards the little clearing behind the house, the same clearing in which they used to play Quidditch during the summer before the war. As he approached his destination the distinctive figure of a petite and slim girl appeared before him, she was sitting on the grass and hadn't notice the man standing just a couple of feet behind her, she seemed to be deep in thought.
"Hermione," Harry said softly from where he was standing; she turned to see him. "You arrived early, how long have you been here?"
"Um… I am not sure Harry, maybe an hour and a half, when I got here it was still dark" She said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Why did you do that? I mean you told me to meet you here at eight, not sooner." Harry stared at her, trying to understand her actions, but mostly feeling puzzled.
"Well, for starters I didn't want you to wake up so early, and I wanted to think… to be by myself for a while." As she spoke she felt like a wave of peace washed over her body, talking to Harry always made her feel that way. "And I got to see the sunrise; you know how beautiful it is in this time of year."
"Ok, I understand" Harry's face softened at her words as he sat next to her on the grass. "And you are right; this is a beautiful morning, even better for the wedding"
"Yeah, the wedding…" She trailed off. "That is what I wanted to talk to you about; I'm just not sure about this whole thing, I mean I know that Ron loves me, but is it enough?, do you think that we could make it work even with all of our constant fighting and such?"
He wanted to tell her to leave Ron and elope with him, that he loved her more than life itself, that he could make all of her doubts go away; but he couldn't do that to her or to Ron, he couldn't destroy their happiness, not if she didn't love him back. It would all be too much for her, and he would not bear to hear her telling him that she didn't love him. So he responded the only way he knew how "It's the regular cold feet you are getting, I'm sure it happens to everyone in your situation, though I wouldn't really know right?" He finished with a feeble laugh, more out of nervousness than anything else.
"Maybe you are right," Hermione answered "but what if you are not? What if I'm about to ruin everything with this wedding?" her words were so truthful that it made Harry believe that maybe, just maybe, she wanted him to stop her, to take her away. She turned to see him, in her eyes was a sort of pleading, but in a second it was gone. He thought he imagined it.
"Hermione, you can't possibly think that, there's no reason for you and Ron to not be together," Harry said this as an attempt to remember that she was his best friend and nothing more, but in Hermione's mind it sounded as if he were telling her to go ahead and do it, "I mean you love Ron, don't you?" he finished, the tingle of hope in his voice went unnoticed.
"What? Oh, sure, of course I love him, I mean he's the only boyfriend I've ever had; pretty much the only boy that's ever noticed me actually, and he is really sweet and kind, and he loves me, right? I mean there is not one reason in this world why I shouldn't love him, right?" her voice was filled with an uncertainty that was rarely showed.
"So there is your answer," Harry said as he stood up and held out a hand to Hermione, his voice had a tingle of bitterness. "Go marry Ron and be happy, just do what your heart tells you and forget about the rest world"
Hermione stood up and turned to face Harry, her mind telling her to stop thinking about him and what he'd just said, "Yes, you are probably right, I mean you are right, I should do what my heart tells me…" She sounded defeated, "I mean, I have every reason to marry Ron, but maybe I just need a reason to not marry him" her words came out as nothing but a mere whisper, yet in Harry's ears they seemed loud as a scream.
He was gobsmacked. "You don't mean that," he told her. "You can't possibly mean that, this is the way things are supposed to be, you are supposed to be happy with Ron!" his voice raised closely to a scream.
"What do you mean by supposed to be happy with Ron? I am not a consolation prize for him! What do you mean with this Harry? For once tell me the truth 'cause honestly I'm tired of deciphering your cryptic messages into something partially coherent" Hermione's words were harsh, but the amount of frustration she'd had been bottling for years was worth it.
"I mean you are with him, you love him, and at first I felt lonely and estranged but he's my best mate and you are with him so I must be happy about you two, right? And the thing is I'm not happy with it." Harry said panting, his voice trying to achieve a level of calmness that he was certainly not feeling, her previous words had hit him like a slap in the face and now he couldn't run away from them.
Hermione remained quiet for some time after his sudden outburst, but when she spoke her words had determination imprinted all over them "Why?"
This question startled Harry "What do you mean why?"
Again her voice was filled with determination "Why aren't you happy? Why are you so miserable about us getting married? Because as far as I remember you are in a very nice relationship with Ginny, you two are like the golden couple of 'Witch Weekly', remember? You are made for each other; and you have to admit that every other girl fails in comparison with Ginny" with this last statement she was in the verge of tears and started to make her way out of the clearing. "Hermione! Wait! Where are you going? You can't say those things and then walk away…" He caught her by the arm and both of them stayed still.
"What more do you want from me Harry?" Hermione said exasperated, not facing him.
"I want you to turn around and look at me, just look at me, Hermione." His words were calm, 'almost disturbingly calm' Hermione thought.
Hermione did what was she was told, and slowly turned to face Harry.
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A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, it's completely flattering. Really thanks a lot, it means a lot to me, specially this being my first Portkey fic.