Well, here is the next chapter! I'm afraid to say that this is too an angsyt chapter, but I feel that the future is brightening. Although, I have to admit- I secretly enjoy the angst sometimes. This is by far the longest chapter I have written, I may stick to this length in the future. If any of you listen to music whilst reading chapters (I continuously listen to it as I write) I recommend one republic's All we are, and come home. Neither of the songs have a direct link to the story, but they are close enough, I listened to them both several times during the writing of this, and I can successfully say that it got you a longer chapter as a result!!
Disclaimer: The plot is mine, Harry Potter and the songs aren't….Thank you to Steph my beta!
"If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favour freedom, and deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without ploughing up the ground, they want the rain without thunder and lightning."
-- Frederick Douglas
Chapter eleven: Torrential Downpour
After hearing about her plight, Hermione's parents were more than happy enough to look after Hugo for another few hours, and watched her quizzically as she rushed about, flinging her coat onto her body and swiping her scarf from the coat rack.
"I won't be too long!" she called over her shoulder, preparing herself to apparate. As she began to think of her destination a hand quickly pulled her from her thoughts, landing on her shoulder.
Startled, she turned to find her father watching her with a look of understanding.
"Take all the time you need." he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and she smiled in response.
Nodding, she resumed her stance, hasty to comfort her best friend. She travelled quickly, ignoring the compressing feel that accompanied apparition.
Due to her momentary haste, she found herself in the torrential downpour, shivering as the rain soaked her brown locks. Closing her eyes, she tried to apparate into the porch of Harry's house and cursed when she felt his wards. She ran to the front of the Potter household and rasped her knuckles on the wood of the front door, and tightened her arms around herself to conserve her bodily heat.
"HARRY!"
No answer.
Clutching her coat closer to her body, she knocked on the door frantically, trying to assure Harry that she was here- his best friend.
"HARRY!" she cried out again, now pounding her fists on the door, jolting as the lightning flashed.
Once she evaluated that she was gaining no response, she raced to the side of the house, peering through one of the large windows. Her eyes scanned the dimly lit room, using her hands to wipe away the raindrops that spattered the glass- she found him. Her breath caught in her throat, the darkness cloaked his figure and he looked so lost, so defeated.
Ignoring the painful clenching of her heart, she watched him silently, forgetting that she was soaked to the bone and sinking into the mud that lay under her feet. The daunting sky continued with its oppressing ways, lashing out on its surroundings as she continued to observe.
Daringly, she raised a clenched fist and gently tapped the window. Her heart skipped a beat when his emerald gaze met hers and she let her hand fall back to her side. Releasing a sorrowful smile, she was glad when he motioned for her to meet him at the front door. She watched his retreating figure move slowly across the room, a hunch present to his usually strong posture.
She shook herself from her pitying thoughts and almost slipped in the mud as she raced to the front of the house, all the while, being pelted by the offspring of the storm.
No words were needed as she was silently ushered inside. As soon as the door had been closed, she had immediately flung herself into his arms, and he was forced to comply, although she had a fleeting thought that he wouldn't mind. For what seemed like an age she stood and embraced with him, content with just listening to the pounding of the rain and the rhythmic beat of their hearts. His grey shirt was dampened due to the embrace and she gave him an apologetic look.
The silence ensued as they made their way to the living room, gently lit by the light of the fire. She kept her thoughts to herself, abiding by the silence as Harry watched the flames, a flickering of orange gracing his somber face.
It felt odd.
She wanted to comfort him as he had done her, but this time it had felt different. As if she wasn't allowed, as if she had to ask his permission to break the lingering silence, and it felt odd because he was her best friend.
She was relieved of the oddity of the situation when he calmly broke the silence standing to his feet.
"I'll get you something dry to wear." he offered, and she quickly shook her head searching through her pockets for her wand.
"A simple drying charm shall do." she assured him, but a slight redness graced her cheeks when she realised that she had left her wand at her parents.
"Thank you." she spoke softly, and he left her alone for a few moments to find something appropriate. She took the moment to kneel in front of the fire, reliving herself of the sodden coat that clung to her trembling frame. In the light of the fire, she noticed that a mass of photos spread across the floor and the coffee table. Curiosity peaked and she took her time to glance at a few- it was just what she had expected, the missing figures and the fading memories, just how her wedding photo now looked. She quickly replaced them in their original disarray at the sound of approaching footsteps, and placed her hands innocently in her lap.
"The best I could do." Harry told her, handing an outfit into her arms.
"Ginny's?" she asked hesitantly. He nodded in response.
"I bought them for her, she never wore them." Hermione pressed no further, slightly annoyed that her 'friend' Ginny could be so heartless.
"I'll be a back in a few seconds." she assured him, making her way to the downstairs bathroom.
"Take as long as you need." he replied, she paused in her tracks momentarily, remembering what her father had told her. A small curve of her lip signaled a smile and she continued with her journey to the bathroom.
Harry watched her leave, and sighed, running a hand through his hair. Ginny had left a few hours previously, she had taken her belongings and almost apparated before he caught her arm. After asking her about telling the children she had paused for an excruciating amount of time, almost weighing out the solutions.
"You tell them." Ginny told him in an almost whisper, turning her head to avoid his shocked gaze.
"What am I supposed to tell them?!" he asked frustrated. She simply shrugged her shoulders and continued to stare at the wall.
"Seeing as you don't give a fuck about their well being, I'll contact you about their custody." he spoke, releasing her arm at the same time.
"Send the paperwork, I'll sign anything you want." she replied calmly.
"Where exactly am I supposed to send these documents? Belgium?" he asked sarcastically.
"Just leave them with the family lawyer, I'll receive them."
"Seriously Gin, fourteen years and you're not even upset in the slightest that we're splitting? Fourteen years of marriage? Three kids later and you're not even bothered about custody?"
She regarded him with a fixed glare, "Of course I am! But as you said before- this is my doing, I don't deserve to feel upset, as for the children- they can live a better life with you than they could ever have with me, I've caused them enough pain." she replied, grabbing her cases and apparating before his very eyes. Somehow, however calm her exterior had been he sensed that she had something planned. Ginny Weasley Potter was not a character to be messed with.
Hermione watched from the doorway after having finished getting changed, Harry seemed to be deep in thought and she daren't disturb him. Leaning against the wood of the door, she too thought about the showdown that must have taken place.
It was a few minutes later that she noticed she had been staring and he was now staring right back.
"Have something on your mind?" he asked quietly. She nodded.
"Don't we all?"
He too nodded and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. Taking a deep exhale, she regained her footing and made her way to the sofa next to him. She perched herself on the edge and twisted a dampened curl of hair around her slender fingers.
"Our suspicions were right," he turned to her with a look of regret, "she had an affair." Hermione was unable to stifle a gasp and threw a hand to her mouth, she wasn't too surprised, but the realization was just as bad. She couldn't help but to pull his hand into her own and hold it tightly.
"It's almost as if my wish came true." he spoke.
"No Harry! This is by no means your doing! Don't you dare think like that!" Hermione scolded him.
"Everything is going to be ok." she assured him after a slight pause; although, she had a fleeting thought that it would be sometime before things would be ok. They rested in silence once more, Hermione tracing circles on the back of his scarred hand whilst Harry closed his eyes in frustration.
"I just want this to stop!" he cried, bringing his free hand to clench and thump the arm of the sofa.
Hermione watched him, and it pained her that she couldn't find anything else comforting to say.
"I-I just want this to stop." he repeated, his voice brought to an almost whisper. Hermione silently agreed with him, casting a thought back to her life and how she had been let down.
How did everything go so wrong?
"Do you think she ever loved me?" Harry asked her, catching her completely off guard.
"W-what?"
"I said, do you think she ever loved me?" he asked her again, referring to his red-headed soon to be ex-wife. Hermione was silent for a few moments and felt his eyes boring into her as she thought of a reasonable answer.
"Your silence doesn't seem very reassuring."
She looked back up at him and rubbed her temples gently.
"I-I think she may have Harry, whether it be purely because of your status or because she truly loved you, that is somewhat debatable." she replied.
"I don't think she ever did." he revealed, turning his head to face the fire once again. Hermione was stunned into silence and decided to let Harry mull with his thoughts before she spoke again.
"Have you spoken to Ron yet?" he asked curiously, she sensed that he wanted a change of conversation and happily obliged.
"Not yet." she replied smoothly, "I think I'm going to leave it a little while, just until I can face the thought of looking at him again." she added.
"We really did get the raw end of the deal on the marriage front didn't we?" she asked him, releasing his hand and clenching her own.
"That we did," he spoke, he laughed gently and she reciprocated.
"Only you can make the darkest situation seem moderately funny." Hermione told him as he reduced his chuckle to a small sigh.
"I suppose it's not really a laughing matter though, I still have to tell the children, as do you." he reminded her, turning to face her worried expression.
"Something I'm dreading," she sighed unhappily, biting her lip in evident angst. Silence ensued for a few more seconds, until Harry created a rather startling outburst.
"Shit!" he cursed, making Hermione jump in response. He raised himself to his feet once again and paced the room with his hands clenching his head.
"What, what's wrong?!" she asked frantically.
"The prophet! If they get wind of this before I tell the kids, they'll never talk to me again!" he worried. Hermione instantly realised and bit her lip in thought. Having a lower profile in the wizarding world, despite the part she played in the war, she knew this was something that did not affect her, but it did Harry.
"Is Ginny spiteful enough to let the paper she works for, print an article about your split?" Hermione asked him quickly. He paced once more and shook his head.
"I don't know." he replied defeated, "I just don't know."
"Maybe you could arrange a meeting with McGonagall." she glanced at the clock momentarily, "it's only six."
"They're going to hate me." Harry shook his head worriedly.
"Harry, it'll subside, they'll learn to accept It." she told him advisedly. It was the advice that she had been assuring herself with over the past few days.
"Sounds like your dreaming out loud." he replied.
"It's not a dream Harry, its reality- they'll forgive and continue, just as long as you show them that they are loved."
"Is this what you've been telling yourself?" he asked questioningly.
She blushed slightly and nodded, "mostly."
With a few more encouraging words from Hermione, he slowly and painfully wrote a request to meet his sons at Hogwarts and thrust his quill onto the tabletop.
"Do you think this is the right thing to do?" he asked her, his heart beating painfully at the thought of telling his sons about the split.
"Harry, it's the only thing you can do." she told him gently, squeezing his arm in a comforting gesture.
"What about Rose?" he asked softly, casting an imploring look.
She opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it when she found no words awaiting their escape.
"You could come with me to the school." he offered quickly, "I think I might need some support, Ginny doesn't seem very keen on telling them herself." he told her truthfully.
"I don't think I can tell her tonight Harry." she replied, removing herself from the sofa and walking over to the window to watch the storm.
"Its enough having been out in one storm tonight, I don't think I could handle another, especially with my daughter." Harry simply nodded, understanding of her reasoning and held his hand out as a gesture for her to take it.
"You can still pay her a visit though." he smiled comfortingly.
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The meeting with James and Albus went as expected- awful.
Hermione had provided him with a few comforting words, before leaving him to find her daughter. The boys had looked frightened when he entered the room, and he quickly made it known to them that they were in no trouble what-so-ever.
"Dad! Would you just sit down! You're making me dizzy pacing around like that!" James complained upon noticing his father's distress.
"What's wrong?" Albus asked him calmly.
Harry's eyes darted furiously between the two of his sons and tried to speak, however catching his voice in the back of his dry throat.
"I-I't-"
"Is it mum?" James asked quickly, his blue eyes fixing themselves onto his father.
Harry nodded hesitantly and Albus immediately snapped his head upwards.
"Did you have another fight?!" he asked worriedly.
Harry nodded again, and silently berated himself for the prolongation of his news. Deciding to halt his pacing, he sank into one of the free armchairs in McGonagall's office and watched his two sons, before releasing a painful breath.
"What happened?" Albus asked timidly, his voice barely audible. Cursing his wife for the pain he was about to cause his two sons, he quickly wiped a tear from his usually bright eyes and coughed.
"Dad, you're really scaring me now." James spoke, his face a mixture of worry and fear, never in his life had he seen his father cry.
"W-Where's mum?" Albus asked worriedly, his voice quickly heightening as he fought the worry that seemed to find its way into his tone. His head scanned the room and he locked his emerald orbs with those of his father and he shook his head gently.
"Your mother and I split." Harry told them firmly, a gut wrenching feel of guilt and sorrow stuck his body as James shook his head and snapped to his feet.
"NO!" he shouted firmly.
"James-" Harry was soon cut off.
"NO! You can't!" James ordered sternly, his eyes watering with unshed tears. Albus merely stared at the wall as his brother stood his ground, defending his parent's marriage.
"James, I know this is hard, but please" Harry begged as James kicked his chair in frustration.
"Why?!" he shouted, throwing his hands in the air as an act of questioning. He closed the proximity between his father and Harry also stood.
"James. This is something between your mother and I, but we've not been getting along for a long while now, between us, we've changed so much. We didn't think it was fair that you had to see us fight, we tried James, but it doesn't seem to want to work." Harry told his son, avoiding the issue of the affair, an issue that was too complex for a thirteen year old to comprehend.
"Make it work!" James cried out frantically, "You have to!"
"Please James; you have to understand that we've already made the decision. No matter how hard we try, or how much time we spend together, things won't be the same as they once were, we're different people now, too different to carry on as a couple."
James simply pushed his father away from him and turned on his heel to gaze out of one of the various glazed windows in McGonagall's office.
A tense silence fell upon the room, until Albus was brave enough to ask his question. He sat in one of the armchairs and so far had avoided any type of conversation.
"Who is going to look after us?" he asked worriedly, he had a tendency to worry more than the others, and Harry knew this.
"I am." Harry replied firmly, "You're going to live in the same house, so nothing is going to change there. Your mother is living with a friend, so she has somewhere to stay as well." he assured him.
Albus nodded and slipped off of the seat to run and embrace his father.
"I'm sorry little guy." Harry whispered into his son's ear, brushing his hand through his raven locks. James looked on with a scowl upon his face and Harry raised his head from Albus' shoulder.
"James, no one wanted this to happen, but it did. We need to stick together now, more than we ever did. It's going to be hard, but we're Gryffindors, we need to be brave and courageous, noble and above all we need to be loyal to the ones we need the most." he spoke softly. James had always valued the traits of being a Gryffindor, and watched his father intently.
"James?" Albus asked tearfully. James lowered his gaze to his brother's and lessened the scowl that displayed itself on his face. Releasing the stone window ledge from his vice-like grip, he huffed in defeat and walked into his father's outstretched arm, joining the tight embrace of his father and brother.
"Everything is going to be ok." Harry assured them, mirroring the words Hermione had spoken so comfortingly to him.
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He had soon joined up with Hermione, and she had returned somewhat uplifted having visited Rose, however somewhat regretful that she had passed up the chance to tell her daughter about the split.
He told her about how the boys took his news and she embraced him comfortingly, assuring him once again that things would soon die down and return to normal. He had to admit that he felt somewhat relieved, despite the situation and had admitted to her that he was already feeling slightly better.
She soon brought up the issue of time and he escorted her to her parents, where he hugged her once again and let her retreat from the rain and inside the house. Boding her farewell, he turned and apparated to the burrow, set on retrieving his daughter, unaware of the curtains of the Granger residence cracking open, two faces watching the lone figure disappear into the night.
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"Molly?" Harry called as he entered from the porch way. The kitchen was silent, and he dared to venture further, hoping to find her in the living room.
"Daddy!" Lily cried energetically, racing through the room and clutching onto his legs. He promptly raised her feet from the ground and into his arms.
Molly came soon after, her face displaying a similar look to mourning. Fortunately, Arthur followed and distracted Lily, having heard about the situation from Molly he cast Harry a truly apologetic glance for his daughter's actions and whisked the little girl away.
"Grandpa Weasley!" Lily's giggles could be heard as Molly shut the kitchen door behind them.
"I-is it over?" she asked, almost too afraid to hear the answer. Harry simply nodded, and widened his eyes as Molly grabbed him for a bone-crunching hug.
"I am so sorry Harry; you of all people definitely don't deserve this. My daughter should be thoroughly ashamed of herself. If you decide to go to wizarding court over cust-"
"Molly, its ok, we've agreed, the kids are going to stay with me. All I have to do is send the paperwork to Ginny." he assured her quickly, thankful for her support.
"What about the divorce?" she asked. She was still very hesitant over questioning her son- in law.
"That we haven't discussed." he admitted truthfully.
"Don't think she's going to get a penny of your money Harry! She doesn't deserve it! If I could just get my hands on her- there'll be hell to pay!" she fumed the famous Weasley red.
"My daughter! Of all people! Did I raise her wrong?" Molly asked tearfully, quickly turning away to wipe the tears from her face. "I must have, if I'd have just tightened her boundaries! Being my only daughter I was so-"
"Molly, don't apologise. This is Ginny's doing alone, no one else is to blame. Please, just don't worry. The boy's know, I managed to meet them at Hogwarts, they're upset, but they've got each other. I thought it better than reading something absurd in the paper." he told her gently, returning her hug for a loving embrace.
"I think that was a wise move, you're a great father Harry, and you deserve all of the happiness in the world, I'm just sorry that my daughter couldn't provide It." she apologised.
"She did on some level, she gave me James, Al, and Lily." he inputted. Molly let a small grin grace her sodden cheeks and she flung herself on him once again.
"Thanks Molly." Harry told her, before being interrupted by Lily barging through the kitchen door. Arthur quickly followed racing after the little girl.
"Sorry!" he panted, "I'm getting a little slow in my old age!" he spoke, trying to reach for Lily under the kitchen table.
"Granma Weasley, are you upset?" Lily asked quickly, popping her head up from under the table.
"No, no dear." she replied quickly swatting the tears from her eyes. Harry took it as an opportunity to grab his only daughter and hoist her over his shoulder.
"Right little pumpkin, lets get you to bed before you knock yourself out."
Arthur and Molly watched Harry handle his daughter and smiled to one another, despite the recent situation.
"I don't know how he does it." Molly sighed to her husband as Harry left through the burrow door.
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"Comfy?" Harry asked Lily as he tucked her into bed. She nodded with a joint yawn and giggled gracefully as Harry tickled her. Ensuring that her stuffed lion was too tucked into bed, he stroked the red wisps of hair from her eyes and bit his lip pensively.
Should I tell her?
"Lilybee?" he called softly. Lily glanced up at him and blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light.
"Yes Daddy?" she asked sweetly, holding the lion close to her small frame.
"I need to tell you something important. You might get upset, but I want you to be a big girl ok? Can you do that for me?" he asked her softly. She nodded, her eyes widening as she awaited his revelation.
"Mummy moved house today. She's going to be living somewhere else, whilst you, James and Albus stay here with me."
"Why?" she asked confusedly, "does she not love us anymore?"
"Oh no! She loves you very much, but she and daddy don't get along very well anymore. So she's going to live in her own house, but she'll visit you." he assured her. Lily stared blankly at him, as though she couldn't make sense of the situation.
"Are you still going to be married?" she asked curiously.
"No, we aren't." he told her truthfully.
"Is this because of what I said at the station?" Lily asked worriedly, remembering the argument she and Hugo had been involved in. Harry shook his head, stifling a chuckle and he calmed her.
"This isn't your fault baby, it just happens sometimes, but we'll stick together won't we?" he asked her lightly. She nodded furiously and shot up to give him a hug.
"I love you daddy."
"I love you too Lily." he responded, placing a kiss to her crown and setting her back down under the covers. He watched her slowly fall to sleep and once she did, he switched the light off and retreated downstairs.
The conversation he had with Lily was as expected, she was still too young to understand, but she hadn't grown the strongest connection with Ginny in the first place.
Falling back onto the sofa, Harry sighed exhaustedly. He noticed Hermione's coat on the floor by the fire and wandlessly sent it to the nearest radiator. The dying embers of the once roaring fire provided a soft resonating light, and Harry watched contentedly, the day's thoughts mulling in his head. Subtly, he wondered what Hermione would do about her own children, and winced as he thought about Rose's possible reaction.
Tomorrow would bring a new day, a new dawn; a fresh start.