Cupid's Lost His Wings

Disclaimer: Everything you recognise isn’t mine.

A/N: Okay, so that last chapter turned out to be a mammoth. I didn’t even end up fitting in everything I wanted to in it, and gave up because I was tired and hungry, lol. (Bad author, I know). So this one hopefully will not seem so all over the place. I’m still happy to hear of your ideas for funny situations. I have found sometimes the readers can think of better stuff than I can, which is why I’m encouraging you to not be shy and tell me in a review if you can think of anything.  Trust me, it will be appreciated, because right now I’m feeling a bit strained in trying to think of anything remotely funny for situations in this fic.  Of course I will give the credit for the idea to you.

Right, enough chitchat and now onto the chapter! 

Target Practise

Hermione sat down at her desk once more, her thoughts drifting back to the very strange woman who had just been talking to her. The old woman surely must have been sick, for she had a terribly throaty voice, and all that sweat that had been dripping down her face- it would have been quite disgusting had Hermione not felt sorry for the large woman in the hideous dress. They never did end up finding the archives she had wanted either.

Sighing slightly to herself, Hermione once more went to pick up her stack of reports when her eyes fell on the unopened letter sitting just near the corner of her very orderly and neat desk. She had been meaning to open that before, but then that strange woman had interrupted. Well there was no harm in opening it now.

Hermione picked up the letter and glanced at the plain, white envelope. “No sender,” she mused to herself, before sliding her finger under the seal to open it. The ink was written in quite masculine writing, but she did not recognise it straight away. Shrugging, and curious to find out why someone was writing to her, Hermione started to read the letter.

‘Hermione,

I know this may seem all very forward and strange, but I find myself unable to hide my feelings for you any longer. Meet me at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow night at 6pm. A single, white lily will be in the vase on my table to let you know who I am.

Do not fail me.’

Hermione’s jaw dropped, and her eyes widened to the size of saucers as she realised what this letter was. Never before had she received something even remotely close to a love letter, but here was someone actually asking her to what must be a blind date!

She quickly scanned the words again and frowned slightly, twisting her lips in thought. This guy certainly had a nerve to demand her to come to dinner with him, but she found herself curious all the same. He said he could not hide his feelings, than that surely meant he must be around her enough to actually have to hide them, so then she must know him. She wondered who it could be. The style of writing was not familiar, and the way he had written it did not sound like anyone she knew, yet surely she must know this person.

“I wonder who it could be?”

Her mind went on all the men she knew, mentally ticking off each one as unlikely as the next. It couldn’t be anyone in her department; most of them were married and losing teeth. She thought about the Auror Department where most of her friends were and frowned to herself. There were so many men there from her school days, but how could she know who it was? It couldn’t be Ron. She may have thought he liked her once, but Ron didn’t seem to be that enamoured with her; more just over-protective and jealous of Krum for old time’s sake. It couldn’t be Neville, though he had expressed a liking for her once…

“Oh, I’ll never figure it out,” Hermione muttered grumpily to herself and put the letter in her desk so she did not have to look at it. She would just go back to her work and not think about it again. She didn’t even know if she would go on the date anyway. The guy sounded very demanding, even if she did find it somewhat romantic that he was obviously going through some frustration to say that he could not hide his feelings anymore…

No, she would not think about it anymore. She would go back to thinking on whether it was legal to allow house elf tossing as a sport. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she stared back at the report. House elf tossing? That soon forced all thoughts of romantic letters out of her mind, as her passion for S.P.E.W flared up inside her and forced her to start working frantically on the case. There was no time for anonymous letters when elfish welfare was on the line.

OOO

Harry was having rather different thoughts as he read the letter (which mirrored the one Hermione had received though with obvious differences) that had been sitting on his desk with a puzzled frown on his face. On the one hand he couldn’t help but wonder who the heck was writing a letter like this to him, and on the other he wondered why they didn’t just tell him face-to-face instead of going through all this anonymous rubbish. What if it was someone he really didn’t like? Nice Harry may be, but he was not going to go on a blind date with someone like that horrible Bertha who always winked at him. He shuddered as he wondered if Bertha had written the letter, and glanced about the cubicles to see Bertha giving him a small wave and a very unsubtle wink that made her whole face follow the movement, so that her eye just seemed to twitch rather than wink.

“Oh no, I bet it is her,” Harry moaned to himself, looking very put out.

Nothing could prevail on him to go if Bertha was his anonymous writer. She was plain creepy, and always seemed to eye him up and down like he was a particularly large donut just waiting to be scoffed in her fat, greedy mouth. There was just no way he would go!

Placing the letter back on his desk, Harry promptly decided to put it out of his mind and continued with his work. He’d just ask Ron or Ginny later if they’d seen who had put the letter on his desk, and if it was Bertha, well then he’d just conveniently act as if he never read it.

OOOO

Viktor Krum angrily pushed the mouldy coat that had been tickling his face away from him and tried hard not to sneeze. Why did it smell like cats in here? At least it was roomy, he supposed, and he did have a good view of the redhead sitting on the seat outside waiting for her other conspirers to come into the Tea Room. No one would ever know he was here. He just had to make sure he didn’t sneeze- a difficult task since his nose was twitching and prickling all on its own accord.

The door opened to the Tea Room and Viktor was surprised to see Draco Malfoy walk in. He frowned to himself and listened intently, hearing their voices drifting about the room.

“Well are you going to tell me what it is you’ve been up to now?”

Ginny turned at the sound of the Malfoy’s drawling voice, her eyes widening slightly. “I never actually thought you’d come,” she confessed with a small smile, “but now that you’re here I suppose I can. Take a seat-” she gestured to the squishy chairs by her- “I think that the others will be here soon anyway.”

“Others?” Draco raised an eyebrow curiously and took a seat on the chair closest to her, placing his hands neatly in his lap as he looked at her with keen interest.

“Neville and Luna. They’re in on this too.”

Draco thought they were rather odd people to be conspiring with, but he didn’t really care about that now. He was more interested in learning what they were doing. Settling himself more comfortably on the seat, he eyed her through scrutinising grey eyes, saying, “And what is ‘this’?”

Ginny leaned in closer, her eyes twinkling enchantingly as she lowered her voice, (which Viktor found incredibly annoying) to say, “We’re planning to make Harry and Hermione go on a blind date together, and in doing so ruin Viktor Krum and Cho Chang’s plans to break them up.”

“I see…” Draco rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He was not much interested in whether Potter went with Granger, but he was interested in spending more time with Ginny. With that in mind, he gave her a flashing smile. “I’d like to help.”

“You?”

Well that hadn’t been the reaction he was hoping for. Maybe a kiss and a thank you would have been more on the mark, but not the blatant disbelief and suspicion that resounded in that simple, one worded answer.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

Ginny closed her mouth, twisting her lips in thought, but he could still see the suspicion lurking in her eyes. Finally she shrugged, saying candidly, “Well I suppose you can help; I just can’t really see why you would want to.”

“Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf,” Draco said somewhat unconvincingly. “I very well could have an ambition to be the next cupid.”

“Right….”

Draco scratched his head and realised he wasn’t doing very well getting her to trust him here. He wondered if it would help if he tried to say something nice about Granger or Potter, but somehow calling Hermione a bushy-haired mudblood, and calling Potter a four-eyed git didn’t sound very endearing.

The door opened once more, and both their heads swivelled around to see Neville come walking in panting slightly, with Luna and Ron in tow (Luna still holding her plant). Neville paused by the door, looking from Ginny to Draco with a rather surprised expression. He didn’t know what that smarmy Slytherin was doing in here, but he did not like how close he was sitting next to Ginny. It’s not like Draco had been invited into the group, and he had never liked the tall, blond man anyway.

“What’s he doing here?” Ron growled, gesturing his head at Draco.

“Now, Weasley, there’s no reason to take that tone. I’m here to help just as much as you obviously are.” Draco smiled innocently at them, but not one of them was fooled. Luna didn’t seem to really care too much though, and gave him a dreamy smile and a wave.

“Enough of that,” Ginny snapped, bringing all the attention back to her. “We need to figure out what to do now. I take it you exchanged the letters all right and tight?”

Neville nodded, still casting wary glances at Draco. He brought his gaze back to Ginny, meeting her inquisitive look. “We managed to exchange them, but Cho found out somehow. She tried to stop us.”

“Cho?” Ginny frowned to herself and exchanged glances with Draco, (which Neville felt rather frustrated about). “How on earth did she find out? As far as I know no one knew that I had exchanged the letters on Harry’s desk except Malfoy here.”

“Krum was hanging about Hermione’s office. More than likely he had overheard something.” said Ron darkly; still fuming that Viktor was snooping around like the great over-grown vulture he was.

“Well we’ll have to keep that in mind when we go to set up the date. I’ve got it all planned out,” said Ginny, reverting back to her usual enthusiasm. Neville couldn’t help but admire her eyes sparkling with such mischievous joy. If only he could find the courage to admit his feelings…

Ginny, completely oblivious to Neville’s thoughts, continued to chatter. “One of us will have to get Madam Rosmerta to make Harry sit at the table with the lily at 6pm tomorrow night. A bribe will be in order for that one, which won’t be hard. There’s also the issue of getting Harry and Hermione to actually go on the date. I know those two can be annoyingly stubborn when they want to, and they may yet decide to not even go.”

“I can make Harry go,” Ron chipped in with a smile.

Ginny nodded, “Yes that’d be good. I’ll talk to Hermione then.”

“Then I’ll do the bribe,” Draco and Neville said at the same time. Neville daringly glared at Draco, who only smiled somewhat placidly back.

“You can both talk to her then,” Ginny said with a broad smile, oblivious to the tension growing between the two men. She folded her hands in her lap and stared around at all of them with a serious expression on her face. “This is going to take all our genius to achieve, and we’re going to have to make sure neither of them start to suspect anything.”

Luna fiddled with her butterbeer-cork necklace, and raised dreamy eyes to Ginny’s face. “What am I going to do, Ginny?”

Frowning to herself, Ginny was not really sure what Luna could do. There was not really much left in terms of working everything out, but she didn’t want her friend to feel left out.

“Luna can come with me,” Ron said with a shrug. “We’ll have to keep an eye on Cho and Krum after all, and it won’t take long for me to convince Harry to go on the date. Two eyes are better than one, and I’m sure Luna will make a fine spy for us.”

Luna graced him with one of her most dreamiest smiles, and Ginny could only shake her head in wonder at the blonde’s whimsical nature. Sometimes she really had to wonder about Luna.

“Alright then, that’s all settled.”

Footsteps sounded horribly close to the door, getting louder and louder by the second. Everyone looked at each other in alarm, hearing familiar voices coming towards them.

“Oh, hi Hermione. You’re taking a break too?”

“Yeah. I’ve been working on those reports for hours.”

Ron stared at Ginny in horror. “That sounds like Harry and Hermione.”

She nodded and glanced about for somewhere where they could hide. As much as she knew it was not very odd for them to be in the Tea Room, it was odd for such a diverse bunch of people to all be in the Tea Room at the same time. They’d look no more innocent than a bunch of robbers wearing black stockings on their faces walking in a shopping mall.

“Everyone in here!” Ginny hissed, rushing to the large cupboard that was sitting in the corner of the room. She flung open one of the doors to the cupboard and stepped in, everyone else rushing in quickly after her and squeezing very closely together as the door was shut on them.

Ginny blinked in the darkness, completely wedged between two shadowy figures. She could vaguely see the door to the Tea Room open through the crack between the doors, and saw Harry and Hermione entering.

“Damn these leaves and tentacles. Lovegood, did you really have to take that infernal plant in here?” someone whispered furiously from up above Ginny, and judging by the softness of his coat and the familiar cologne, she figured it was Malfoy.

“Shh,” another voice piped in, which could only be her brother’s. “They might hear us.”

“What are they doing?” Luna whispered interestedly from Draco’s other side. “I can’t see.”

“They’re just making tea and talking about elf tossing,” Draco replied in a bored voice. Ginny had to try hard not to giggle. She did wonder why he was here when he so obviously didn’t care about the two outside the cupboard.

“Maybe we should be quiet. They really might hear us,” a tentative voice said from the other side of the cupboard. Ginny figured that must be Neville. That got her thinking though; if Neville was next to Ron, and Ron was next to Luna, and Luna was next to Draco… then who was next to her?

Ginny turned her face, but all she could see was the dark, shadowy outline of a tall figure. She frowned to herself and leaned her face up to Draco’s, whispering very quietly, “There’s someone standing next to me.”

Draco met her gaze, pink tentacles half obstructing his vision, and glanced the best he could past her to stare at the shadowy figure. The person sneezed, and the chatter that had been going on outside the cupboard suddenly stopped.

“Did you hear that?” Hermione asked with a frown.

Harry stirred his tea and glanced about in confusion, his brow creased into his own frown. “I did. It sounded like someone sneezed…”

Back in the cupboard, everyone had frozen in fear that they might be caught out. There really would be a lot of awkward questions then.

“Idiots. Who sneezed?” Ron demanded in an angry whisper.

“It wasn’t me,” came Neville’s defensive reply.

“I didn’t do it,” Luna whispered dreamily.

“Well it wasn’t me either,” Draco replied bluntly.

Ginny could see all their dark, shadowy heads looking at her, but she only turned to the person next to her who was now standing very stiff.

“Ginny?”

“It wasn’t me,” Ginny replied finally, still staring at the silent figure. “It was the person standing next to me.”

A hush fell over the group of plotters in the cupboard, and the person in the shadows shifted uncomfortably. They all knew they could do nothing with their victims sitting right outside the cupboard doors, and could only stand in apprehensive silence, all squashed together like sardines, just waiting for Harry and Hermione to leave.

“It sounded like it came from over there,” Hermione mused out loud, gesturing to the corner of the room where the cupboard stood very conspicuously. She stared at it for a moment (“she’s looking right at us!” Ginny whispered fearfully), but then dragged her eyes back to Harry, who was now scratching his head in some puzzlement.

“It was probably nothing.” Harry said finally. “You know what the Wizarding World’s like. More than likely that cupboard is alive.”

Hermione laughed, and all the people in the cupboard let out an inward sigh of relief.

“Well, I’d better get back to those reports.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, placing down his empty teacup. “I’d better get back to mine too. I’ll see you later, Hermione.”

Hermione nodded, and both of them left the room, the door closing behind them with a small click.

Ginny burst out of the cupboard, pulling out her wand from under her skirt and aiming it at the shadowy figure still hiding in the cupboard, which caused Draco to wonder rather daringly out loud what else she was hiding up there. Neville, who had heard the comment, was frustrated to see Ginny blush and Draco smirk.

Ron and Luna pulled out their wands and aimed it at the cupboard, but it was Ginny who spoke.

“Alright, which one of you sneaks has been hiding in the cupboard this whole time?”

There was another sneeze from amongst the depths of the cupboard, and then Viktor slowly walked out looking very embarrassed and annoyed, clutching his own wand in his hand, but not threateningly.

“KRUM!” Ron bellowed, looking like he was about to murder the Bulgarian man who was shuffling awkwardly on the spot.

Luna placed a hand on Ron’s arm, her big, blue eyes meeting his. “Calm down, Ronald.”

Ginny was amazed to see Ron’s expression become more placid. Who would have thought he’d actually listen to the dotty blonde, but so it seemed to be true as he nodded his head to Luna and lowered his wand.

Viktor threw them all a dark scowl and cast a shifty glance at the door.

“Oh no you don’t,” Draco said firmly, blocking the Bulgarian’s way with his own wand aimed. “You’re going to tell us why you were hiding in that cupboard.”

Viktor glared at the Slytherin and fisted his hands in his pockets. “I was not doing anything. I was just sitting in the cupboard.”

Ginny blinked in disbelief. How stupid did he think they were? Even Luna didn’t go hiding in cupboards, and that girl really was off her rocker. “Right, ‘cause it’s so entertaining to sit in cupboards that smell like cats. Stop lying and tell us the truth. How did you know we were going to be in here? I know you know we know that you know we know what you’ve been doing.”

Everyone stared at her in some perplexity, all trying to figure just what it was she had said.

Viktor seemed to come to himself first. “You’re right. I do know that you’ve been eavesdropping and planning to ruin our plans! I won’t let you, and now that I know what you’re planning I will make my own plans.”

Draco eyed him with distaste. “How about I just obliviate him?”

“Malfoy!” Ginny exclaimed in shock, though she too was tempted to wipe those memories from the smug Bulgarian’s brain.

Draco shrugged unapologetically and continued to stare haughtily at the Bulgarian. Neville was finding it very hard to say anything at all, since his throat had gotten stuck and refused to let words come out. Luna was patting her plant again, and Ron was just glaring.

The door to the Tea Room opened again, and once more everyone swung around to see who was coming in. Viktor took the opportunity to escape while no one was paying attention to him, and ran from the room, barging past the old man wobbling in on shaky legs, who had just entered. The old man stared at them all owlishly and left the room again, muttering something about tea orgies.

“What do we do about Krum?” Ron asked, one the door had shut.

“Just leave him,” Ginny said with a scornful look. “He’s probably gone running back to Cho. We don’t have to worry about them anyway. We’ll just deal with them ourselves when the time comes. It can’t be too hard.”

Everyone nodded and once more went back to discussing the finer details for the date. Once they had finished they all split up their separate ways to do their little parts in the plots being made. Harry and Hermione wouldn’t know what had hit them!