Chapter IV
April 15, 1912
By now, Ronald and I were alone in the suite. My mother had departed to find a reason for the commotion that was spreading throughout the ship, and had conveniently left me in the unwelcome company of my fiancé.
"Would you care to explain this?" he asked quietly, holding the folder I immediately recognized as Harry's, in his hand.
"It is a folder, yes," I decided to aggravate him further. "What of it?"
"It is the drawing inside I am worried about," he went on icily. "How could you!"
"Very simply," I replied testily. "I took my clothes off, and let him draw me in the nude. Why would that be shocking?"
No doubt surprised at my audacity and stubbornness, Ronald was at a loss of words. Instead, his face contorted in anger, and he fixed me with a murderous gaze.
Then very unexpectedly, he raised his hand, and slapped me across the face - I felt the sting of the impact on my cheek.
"I thought," he went on, his face reddening with anger, "that you would honour me, respect me and cherish me as a wife should do for a husband! And not go around, sinking to the level of a prostitute! Have you no shame!"
"Have you no human decency!" I countered heatedly, as another ball of anger flared up inside me.
"How dare you hold such tongue in front of me!" he roared, and grabbed me by the arms.
I was just beginning to feel scared about what would follow, when a timely interruption came in the form of a steward.
"Sir," he said loudly when he crossed the threshold of the suite. "I will require of you and your lady to put your life belts on, as soon as possible."
"Leave us, you dolt," Ronald snapped at him. "Can't you see we're preoccupied here?"
"I am sorry, sir, but it is Captain's orders," the steward answered, coming out of the cupboard, where the life belts were kept.
"This is most unkind of you sir," Ronald's tone had dropped dangerously low. "I warn you, leave this suite immediately!"
The object of his wrath, however, merely shrugged, and turned to me. "Now, I am sure it is only a precaution, but you should put it on, just in case. I trust we will be on our way to New York as soon as possible."
"All right," I agreed, still shaky from the most recent round of rage from Ronald.
"We'll talk about this later," Ronald said tensely. "Come with me!" And seizing me by the upper arm, he dragged me out of the suite towards the first class deck to find a lifeboat.
Once we arrived, we found it to be rather crowded. Ronald fought through the mass of people, and eventually, reached the front, where my mother was.
A sailor was assisting the women around us into the lifeboat, and our turn would soon come. I felt resigned, slipping back into the prison that was my life.
"Will the boats be seated according to class?" my mother piped up, but nobody answered; slightly uncomfortable, she turned to me. "Well, I hope they aren't too crowded."
"Oh, Mother!" I snapped, not able to contain myself. "Don't you understand? There aren't nearly enough boats for half the people on this ship! Half of the people will die!" She only looked at me incomprehensibly, and remained silent.
"Madam, it is your turn," the sailor directed my mother and she willingly stepped into the lifeboat, before sitting down tensely.
"You know," Ronald turned to me quietly. "It's a pity I didn't keep that drawing - it would be worth a lot more in the morning.
I fixed him with a pitying glare, before I heard myself say my honest opinion, "You unimaginable bastard!" He only leered at me, and started into the boat himself.
"Come on, Rose, dear," my mother said, waving me over. "There's plenty of room for you here."
Something inside me froze, and I took a few steps back. "No," I whispered.
"Excuse me?" my mother was incredulous.
"Goodbye, Mother," I said sternly, and turned on my heel to leave; unfortunately, I heard the sound of rushing feet behind me.
"No!" Ronald shouted. "No! I forbid you to leave, to demean yourself to his whore!"
"I'd rather be his whore than your wife!" I snapped, and gathering my strength, spit into his face; his mouth opened with the shock, and I took the chance to break free.
**
"So, Mr. Potter, you thought you could escape unnoticed, did you?" Lovejoy taunted him. "You know very well that scum such as yourself rarely goes unpunished."
"I didn't do it," Harry growled, straining against the pipe around which he was handcuffed.
"You are a bad influence on Miss Granger," Lovejoy continued menacingly. "And as this ship sinks, so will you, for good."
"How do you know it's sinking?" Harry asked distractedly. "I don't see water anywhere."
"Oh, it will be here soon enough," the latter smiled grotesquely. "You see?"
And in fact, the freezing ocean water had begun to snake its way into the room.
"You can't leave me here," Harry told him. "Have a heart, man!" he called, after seeing Lovejoy rise from the chair.
"Goodbye, Mr. Potter," he said curtly. "It has indeed been a pleasure." And with those parting words, he left for the higher decks of the vessel.
"Damn it, wait," Harry shouted out in desperation. "Help me!"
**
I made my way through the corridor, heaving with exhaustion from running for so long. Ronald had not attempted to follow me, and I was relieved for that. The water was quickly pooling at my feet, as the stream became deeper by the minute. From asking various stewards and attendants, I knew Harry had been taken down on this level somewhere.
"Help!" I suddenly heard a shout. "Somebody help me!"
I recognized his voice! Despite my tiredness, I fought against the swelling water to reach Harry quicker. I saw a light coming from one of the compartments - he had to be there! Just a little further…
"Hermione!" he exclaimed when I appeared at the entrance, grasping the walls for support.
"Harry!" I breathed out in relief. "You're all right!"
"Hermione, listen," he spoke loudly to be heard over the roar of the water. "There should be a key in that desk somewhere…look for it, so I can unlock these cuffs."
"Alright, alright," I replied hurriedly, turning my attention to the desk in question.
"Hurry!" he said from behind me; frantically opening drawer after drawer, I did see a number of keys, but none of them were made for the pair of handcuffs.
"Wait, I will be right back," I shouted back, and turned towards the corridor again.
I had seen an axe a bit further down, and I thought I could use it to free Harry. Fighting the now waist-deep water, I slowly progressed, careful not to lose my footing and be swept by the current to a watery death.
There it was! I snapped the axe from its mount on the wall, and doubled back, with even more exertion; the water level was nearing my chest…
"Harry!" I gasped. "The axe! I'll free you with the axe!"
He seemed much less confident than I felt. "Alright," he said. "But first, take a couple of practice swings at the desk."
In my excitement, my hands were not very steady. I took a swing, and buried it in the desk.
"Good!" Harry encouraged me. "Now try and hit that same spot again!"
I tried - and failed, as the axe landed far from the original strike. My third attempt was no more successful.
"All right," Harry said, his eyes ablaze. "You'll have to take a chance, Hermione. Just aim for the pipe - all you need is a single strike."
Shaking all over, I was anxious, and grew even more so at the thought of injuring him badly. I raised the axe above my head, poised to bring it down, and he stretched the chain against the pipe.
"On three," he instructed me, but I barely managed to hear him. "One…two…three!"
A great clang resounded, as I closed my eyes and let the axe fall, hitting the pipe forcefully. It didn't rebound, but instead, slid down, and my shaking hands dropped it to the floor.
"Hah!" Harry laughed, elated."Hermione, you did it!"
I opened my eyes disbelievingly - there he was, grinning at me, free as a bird.
"Oh, Harry!" I cried, and flung myself onto him.
"Come on," he said into my ear. "We have to go, before we drown here!"
Reality dawned back on me quickly, and my mind seemed to clear. "Yes," I released him, "let's go."
The water was already at my chest, and I had to swim out, followed closely by Harry, who helped me fight against the current.
"Grab hold of the pipes above!" he told me. "And look for the nearest staircase!"
The rush of the water, accompanied by the creaking of iron, as the ship strained against the influx of the flood, made any communication between me and Harry nearly impossible. The freezing water also made me shiver considerably, and it took me entire remaining strength not to release the pipes, and surrender myself to Death…
"I see a light!" I yelled back, toward Harry. "It must be a staircase!"
"Head for it!" Harry shouted back.
After another minute's exhaustive effort, we came to the landing. With my last ounce of strength, I took hold of the parapet, and pulled myself to a shallower depth. Harry followed me immediately after.
"We're safe for now," he embraced me, and I collapsed into his arms. "Come on, let's head up."
When my senses caught up with me, I realized there was a considerable commotion in front of us.
"Seamus!" I heard Harry address someone. "What's happening here?"
"Oi, Harry!" the latter said feverishly. "Bloody bastards have blocked the exit! They won't let us through!"
"Damn it," Harry swore. "Alright - let's find another way out."
He started further down the hall, and I followed him. Dean came after us, but abruptly stopped.
"Helga, come on," he called urgently, but the girl he pleaded to come with him, shook her head fearfully.
`Non," she answered quietly, but Dean didn't hear her; the reason for her decision evidently being her father, who was standing behind her. Dean shared a quick glance with her father, full of meaning; he nodded sadly, and whispered something to his daughter.
I saw a tear roll down her face, and with one last fierce embrace of her father, she parted from him and rushed towards Seamus.
"Go, go!" Harry called on me and the other two to hurry - the water was already creeping up to our level.
Running down the hallway, we reached another staircase, but the situation was the same there too- people were crowded around the blocked exit, and shouting at the attendants on the other side to let them through.
"It's no good that way!" Dean exclaimed, and Helga whimpered beside him.
"We're going to die, aren't we?" her voice quavered.
Harry took the lead, and dashed down the corridor, and I followed him - Tommy and Helga kept pace with us. Soon enough, we came up to another gate, but just the same, it was blocked off by a couple of crewmen, and a mob of panicked passengers pleading to be released to the deck.
"Stay back!" a squat crewman was saying. "Stay back or I'll shoot!"
"Seamus, look, whatever we do, we have to do it fast!" Harry told his friend, and then looked around for any way to open up a way through. "Mate, help me with that bench!"
The bench in question was indeed a heavy, wooden one. Harry ran over to it, and with several tugs, dislodged it from the wall.
"You, give us a hand, will you?" he called out to another burly man; he nodded, and grabbed one side of the bench. "Seamus, you're the driver! We're gonna ram our way out!"
"Alright, mate," the latter answered. "Come on now!"
"Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" the attendant on the other side asked shockingly, stepping back.
"Now!" The three of them gave one giant thrust, and impacted the gates with the bench - they buckled, but still held. "Again!" The second time was enough, and the bench burst through the opening.
"Outta the way!" someone called to the stewards, but he needn't have done so - they were swept by the moving throng of people.
Harry pushed me in front of him, and I rushed forward, and up to the next level. Thankfully, the water had not reached here yet, but the smell of salt permeated the air still. Eventually, we made it to the top deck, and wildly looked around for an available boat.
"All the boats have gone!" I said, panicking.
"No, miss," an elderly gentleman told me, as he was passing by. "There is still a boat being lowered near the front of the ship. This way, I will lead."
Numbly following him, I weaved my way through the deck, followed by Harry, and then Dean and Helga. Indeed, there was more of a crowd formed around the last boat. We fought our way to the front of the crowd.
"Women and children only, please!" the sailor was shouting over the panicking crowd. "Women and children, only!"
"Seamus, you better check the other side, tell us if there's an available boat," Harry told him in an undertone. "Hurry!"
"Sure, mate," he replied, and dashed off.
"Miss, are you ready to step through," the sailor turned to me.
I faced Harry. "I'm not going without you."
"Hermione," he looked at me deeply. "You have to board the boat."
"No, not without you!" I remained adamant.
Quite unexpectedly, Ronald appeared next to Harry. "Yes, you must."
Harry turned to Ronald, but didn't say anything to him. "Listen, I will catch the next boat, I promise."
"Hermione," my now, no doubt, former fiancé, said, "save yourself. I have made arrangements for Harry and myself."
"See, I do have my own boat to catch," Harry encouraged me.
I took him for his word, and permitted the sailor to take me onto the boat. All the while, I did not let my eyes fall from Harry's.
"Lower away!" the sailor called, and the two other crewmen at the cranes slowly fed the rope to descend the boat…
"You're a good liar," Ronald told Harry in an undertone.
"Yeah," the latter answered, "almost as good as you."
"Hmm," Ronald affirmed.
"There…there is no arrangement, is there?" Harry asked in the silence, as he continued to look down at Hermione.
"No, there is," Ronald replied. "Not that you will benefit from it, however."
"I knew that," Harry replied with a slight chuckle.
"I always win, Mr. Potter, and you should do well to remember that."
I watched them both as I approached the calm surface of the ocean. Harry was resigned, sorrowful, and a tear seemed to fall down his cheek. Something intense welled up within me, and I thought I would burst from the pain I felt, being apart from him…my own hot tears slid down my cheeks, as I thought about it.
And then, an unexplainable thought seized me, and without thinking, or even considering it, I jumped, aiming to grab a hold on the railing.
"Rose! No!" I heard Harry shout above me. "What are you doing!"
I climbed aboard the ship, aided by two men who pulled me over. Without a second's hesitation, I ran to meet Harry, and the fastest way was through the Grand Staircase. Passing by passengers, crewmen and upturned furniture, I did not stop, until I saw him descending the stairs.
"Harry!" I shouted, and flung myself at him, emotion clouding my reason and judgment; all I could do was break down and cry.
"Hermione, you're so stupid!" he kissed me. "You're so stupid! Why did you do it? Why!"
I looked at him, blinking away my tears and taking a moment to utter a phrase I had found very meaningful recently. "You jump, I jump, right?"
"Right," he whispered, and hugged me once more. "Oi, Hermione, move!"
Harry swept me down, and I heard a gunshot ricochet off one of the wood ornaments that happened to be inches from my head.
"Come on!" Harry took me by the hand, and we tore down the next flight of stairs. I heard Ronald thundering behind us, and from the corner of my eye, saw his slip and fall on the spot where we were standing moments previously.
Another gunshot - this time it just missed Harry's head. And again, we had reached the rising water.
"Come on, this way," Harry said, and taking me by the hand, dragged me through the cold water.
We had cleared into the dining room, when I heard another splash behind us - three shots in quick succession followed, two of which went awry, but the third broke the glass of the door, and almost impacted Harry.
No doubt he tried to shoot again, but the sound of the empty chamber clicking the empty round resounded through the cavernous expanse of the dining hall.
"I hope you enjoy your time together!" he shouted but did not attempt to follow us. Regardless, Harry and I slunk back towards the staff quarters in the kitchen to make sure we completely lost him.
A tense minute passed as we retreated into a corner, listening intently. Besides the dripping water and my chattering teeth, all was quiet.
"It seems safe," Harry said quietly. "Come on." And not releasing my hand, he pulled me further into the depths of the ship.
The corridors on the higher levels were beginning to flood, and quicker too. Anxious to find a way out, I was exhausted, but something propelled me to keep going, despite the fact that my overtaxed body was screaming for recuperation.
I stopped suddenly, as another sound reached my ears - that of a crying child.
"Harry, wait!" I exclaimed. "Listen!"
Over the noise of the flowing water, Harry heard it too. "Come on!" he said shortly, and ran in the direction of the stranded child.
It didn't take long. It was a small boy, no more than five years of age, perhaps, but he was in a right state. On either end of the hallway, water was rushing in, and at one of the ends, two doors were creaking ominously, threatening to release the wall of water behind them…
"Stay here," Harry told me, and running quickly towards the boy, he picked him up, and doubled back.
"It will be alright, don't worry," I spoke soothingly as I took the boy from Harry, despite the turmoil of anxiety and emotion that was rolling within me.
A man came in the hallway, and looking around wildly, he spotted me with the child. "Kolya!" he exclaimed. Then, muttering something in Russian, as far as I gathered, he rushed up to us, took the child from my hands, and pushed me aside, as he continued running down the hallway, speaking to his son.
"No time to lose," Harry rejoined, "We have to go!"
A thunder sounded behind us, and with a surge of horror, I realized the doors had broken, and a massive wave of water was coming through. In the incidence I happened to glance back, I saw the man, who had just passed us, being swept by tremendous force down the other hallway. His scream seemed haunting, inhuman, and the child cried helplessly too…
I cringe still at the memory, and sometimes I can still hear and see them in my mind's eye, as I remember that night…
The staircase was very near. Harry managed to grab a hold of the parapet, and extended his hand to me, compelling me to take it. I did and he pulled me to relative safety.
"Shit!" he exclaimed, looking up at our way out; it was again barred by gates. Then out of nowhere, we heard running steps, and one steward came into view.
"Sir!" I called out desperately, "help us! Please!" He turned around and stared at us wildly.
"The bloody ship is going down!" he said quickly.
"I know, but please! It won't take long. Help us, please!" Harry pleaded with him.
The water level was indeed beginning to climb, and not thirty seconds had passed when it was at my heels. "Sir, hurry!" I hastened him, as he fumbled with the keys and tried key after key. None worked, and in his excitement, he dropped the chain. I watched, with horror, as it disappeared underwater.
"I am sorry, I have dropped the keys!" he explained himself quickly, and looking apologetically at us, disappeared up the staircase that led to the deck.
"Now what!" I turned to Harry desperately.
Without saying anything, he took a deep breath, and dived under. Seconds later he resurfaced, the keys in his hand.
"Give me a minute," he said, and set to work, trying to unlock the gates with each successive key. "Where's a bench when you need one," he joked, and I laughed, despite my alarm - the water was reaching my neck, and I was seriously considering the very possibility of drowning…
The gates swung open against the current, and we were swept to the next flight of stairs.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked me in concern, as we mounted the stairs.
"Yes, I just hit my knee, but it's nothing too bad," I answered, out of breath, as we at last came to the top deck.
The ship was already submerged under a very high angle. The bow, along with the first class accommodations, was already underwater. I could see the propellers had risen from the water, and the boats were already gone too.
Many people were already in the ocean, treading for their lives. My heart broke, seeing them so helpless and destined to die.
"Hey, Harry, isn't that Dean down there?" I asked, pointing to a speck of a person, who was visible in the light from the ship.
"Aye, it is," he answered, after scrutinizing the figure. "But he can't hear us. The only way we can reach him, is when we're forced to swim ourselves - "
But he didn't finish. Very unexpectedly, one of the cables holding the forward most smoke column in place, snapped, and shot into the sky. The massive pipe screamed from the strain, and tilted right over where people were already swimming. Unable to speak, I watched, as the cables on the other side snapped too, and the column tilted over dangerously, before falling with a resounding crash into the ocean.
"Seamus!" Harry shouted, but to no avail - I had to restrain him from doing something rash.
"Harry, stop! Compose yourself!" I attempted to calm him, and he closed his eyes, affected by my touch.
"We have to stay on this ship as long as possible," he said solemnly over the shouts of the people around us. "Come on."
I was shivering from being drenched by the freezing water for so long, and now coupled with the cold air, my body felt numb all over.
"Harry, let me rest for a little bit," I breathed, on the edge of my strength and limits.
"It's only a bit more Hermione," he soothed me. "We only need to reach the back of the ship."
I forced my protesting body to comply - rising again, Harry took my hand, and led the way; walking over debris, we ascended the sinking Titanic, but it became increasingly more difficult, as the stern rose further and further into the air.
"Almost there," he turned to me. "Almost there!"
With one last flicker, the lights were extinguished forever, and the Titanic was plunged in absolute darkness, save for the stars above. If that did not surprise me enough, a sudden loud sound of splintering wood caught my attention. "Harry, wait!"
He stopped, and turned around. The words formed on his lips, but they froze, and he and I watched in horrid fascination, as a crack appeared widthwise on the middle of the ship, and next, it spread to the hull - the steel broke apart, rivets shot off as they snapped from their sockets, and impacted several stunned victims. The black precipice opening in front of us could only have one meaning - the ship was splitting in half! More unfortunate souls slid down the decks, and disappeared to their deaths in the black abyss. It was deafening, as machinery, wood, steel and debris exploded, split, and slowly, but surely, spelled the demise of this great ship…
Finally, we reached the poop deck, and hung on to the rails for dear life. The Titanic had almost split, and the rear part was high above the water. Hundreds of feet below, I watched as people fell to their deaths, some bouncing grotesquely off the various components of the deck. I wanted to close my eyes, but couldn't, for fear I would let go too…
"Hang on, Hermione, hang on," Harry spoke, trying to reassure me. "We'll survive!"
The back of the ship, just as unexpectedly, collapsed back into the water, righting itself immediately. I felt nauseous from the motion, thinking to myself I would not be able to handle much more of this…
"We're saved!" the refrain sounded around the deck.
For one blissful moment, I believed it too, but my illusions were quickly dispelled, as the stern started to ascend once more.
"Oh, Lord! We're going to die!" a woman screamed hysterically, before unwillingly releasing the railing, and I watched, shocked, as she plunged to her death.
"Hermione," Harry called out to me, "we have to climb on the other side of the railing, or we're going to fall."
"Alright," I shouted back, already growing weak from the effort, required to keep myself attached. Harry deftly pulled himself over on the top side.
"Give me your hand," he stretched out his own to take mine. "Don't worry, I've got you!"
And I was glad for it. Just as I had settled beside Harry, the stern had righted itself straight up the air, resembling an extraordinary tower amidst the ocean.
"Well, you don't see this everyday," I said weakly, staring down at the surface of the ocean.
The back of the Titanic swayed in its spot, motionless, as if it was waiting for something. Then, with the metal screeching and twisting, it slowly started to sink, straight down.
"Hermione," Harry said feverishly, "listen to me. Once the stern disappears, it will want to suck as down with it. On the count of three, I want you to take a deep breath, release the rail, and kick as hard as you can. Do you understand me? Kick, as hard as you possibly can, and whatever you do, do not let go of my hand!"
"Yes!" I exclaimed, on the mere edge of my reason and wits.
"Trust me, Hermione!"
"I trust you," I screamed back, as I prepared myself as best as I could to enter the freezing water for the consecutive time.
The stern sunk faster and faster, as it approached the water.
"On three, Hermione," Harry yelled. "One…two…now!"
I gulped as much air as I could fill my lungs with, and kicked, just as Harry had instructed me, but I lost the grasp of his arm. The cold water pierced through me with the intensity of a thousand knives, and it hurt me immensely, pricking at every point on my body.
"Harry!" I sputtered, as I surfaced, wet and freezing, and I no longer feeling the drag of the stern beneath me. "Harry! Where are you!" I gasped, fighting to keep myself afloat.
Around me, people were shouting looking for loved ones, and panicking, as the cold paralyzed them. It was a horrible sound, and I wanted to shut it out, but could not.
"Hermione!" Harry came up behind me. "Are you alright?"
A thrill went through me when I heard his voice, and a weight was literally lifted off my chest. "Y-yes," I chattered, trying to keep myself composed.
"I want you to swim, Hermione," Harry addressed me insistently. "You have to move around and swim, alright?"
"Yes, yes," I answered, and tried to swim as best as I could. I knew how, I had done it before, but nowhere near in conditions such as these.
After several minutes of dodging flailing bodies and swimming through the frigid water, Harry came atop a wooden door, which must have been the remainder of some cupboard.
"Hermione, pull yourself on top of this," he whispered, and assisted me in climbing on board. Then he tried to draw himself beside me, but the door buckled, and flipped over.
I surfaced once again, and Harry shot up beside me. "I guess there's only room on there for one of us. And that would be you."
"And you?" I asked him with concern.
"Don't worry about me," he waived me off. "I'll be fine." Even if he said that, I could see him starting to turn blue.
I dragged myself back onto the wooden board, and Harry accosted himself in the water in front of me.
"Do you think they will be back soon?" I asked him.
"Yeah, yeah," he answered quickly, shivering involuntarily. "They won't be long."
I grasped his hand in my own, and huddled as close as I could for warmth. I kept shivering, barely able to keep myself conscious.
"H-Harry," I looked up, my voice faltering, "I lo-love you."
"Don't, Hermione!" he breathed back, his voice barely above a rasp. "Don't say your goodbyes yet. You and I, we will survive. You will live through, marry into a beautiful family, and have lots of babies. And you'll die of old age, warm in your bed. You won't die this night. Don't talk now…you need your strength."
"My future belongs with you, Harry," I whispered, and he tried to smile, his breath coming in short gasps.
"Promise me you'll survive, Hermione," he said, his words coming divided. "Promise…me," his breathing was still short and quick.
"I promise," I said, and kissed him. "I promise, Harry."
My hair was frozen with frost, and I could see Harry's was too. We remained, waiting, hoping someone would come back and find us.
I entered into a daze, and was neither dead, nor alive. The only indication that I was still alive was that I felt Harry's hand in my own. Other than that, I could not feel my body. The calm waves drifted me back and forth, and I was myself slowly drifting off, but something inside me prevented me from slipping completely into blessed unconsciousness.
My semblance of time had disappeared entirely. At one point, my dulled senses registered a bright light in the distance, and the distorted shouting of someone. Slowly, I willed myself to focus back onto reality, and thus, onto the distant object. Only then did I realize, it was a sole boat, returned to look for survivors.
"Harry," I breathed - my voice was quiet and no more than a weak rasp. "Harry?"
Gently, I prodded him, but he did not respond. His eyes were closed, and he seemed peaceful - his face was very blue, and rimmed with frost. "Harry?" I tried, a little stronger, but I already understood.
He was dead - gone forever.
"Harry," a tear streamed down my cheek, "Oh, God."
My hand was frozen with his, and I did not want to disengage it. However, then I recalled my promise, and closed my eyes - I had promised him I would survive, no matter what.
With a heavy heart, I used what little strength I had to pry my hand free. I watched Harry, as he drifted away from me, and slowly, sank below the surface, becoming more obscure, as he disappeared below the waves…
There would be time to mourn him, but it would not be now, I told myself. I directed my attention at the boat, which seemed to be coming closer.
"Help," I croaked, stretching my frozen arm towards them, "Help!" Unfortunately, there was no way I could be heard, or seen, and I knew that. Close to me, I saw the body of a crew member floating face down, and there was a whistle around his neck.
My saving grace! Exhausted, overtaxed, and miraculously still clinging to life, I paddled as best as I could to grasp the whistle. And somehow, I managed it; blowing it a few times, I seemed to attract the needed attention, and the powerful beam of light turned to me.
"Row," I heard the command distantly, "Row, damn it!"
Finally, I felt myself more resigned than before. Two powerful hands raised me from my flimsy accommodation upon the ocean surface, and into the boat - it was then that I finally slipped into unconsciousness.
**
The Carpathia had been the only ship to respond to the Titanic's distress calls. The survivors were picked up from the boats, and after about a day at sea, our boat had been collected as well. Late afternoon had arrived, and I was standing on the deck of the Carpathia, letting the rain soak me, but I did not care. I felt nothing but sorrow and loss; yet, there was a hope within me that I would be able to start anew - perhaps, not with Harry at my side, however desperately I wished for the opposite, but afresh nonetheless.
"Miss?" a crewman of the ship came to me, carrying an umbrella, along with a pad and a pen. "I need to record your name for the list of survivors of the Titanic."
I looked at him plainly. "Rose," I said, "Rose Potter."
He recorded my name, and proceeded on to the next person; I continued to look out at the ocean, thinking and wondering…
"Hermione?" a familiar voice suddenly addressed me, and I turned.
"Ronald," I replied without emotion, and waited for him to speak.
"I was worried about you," he said solemnly. "We all are."
"Look," I replied forcibly. "Ronald, I do not want to ever see you again, nor do I want you to ever look for me. Do I make myself clear?"
His jaw clenched, but his eyes fell to the deck, "Yes, perfectly. What would you like me to tell your mother?"
I reflected for a minute, before replying. "Tell her…tell her that her daughter was lost with the Titanic."
He nodded, and bowed slightly, before turning to walk away from me for the last time.
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