Author's Note: Bonjour PK readers. This is my first fic I have ever written, so hopefully it won't be a total bust. I originally pitched this story as a challenge for other writers over in the forums, but decided I wanted to write it myself. So yeah, there's your background info.
Like its says in the summary, the fic does start off directly after the final battle in DH, and thus, it will start off as Harry/Ginny and Hermione/Ron. There will be some moments of those ships in the beginning, but it does become Harry/Hermione, so don't fear. I try to be a realist when I write, and well, it's just stupid to break away from canon in the blink of an eye, no matter how much we disagree with it. That's enough from me, so now, onto the story.
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Saturday, May 2nd, 1998 - 3:00 PM
Hogwarts
Strolling around the grounds of Hogwarts Castle, all Harry Potter could feel was guilt. No thoughts of the future and its potential brightness seeped into his mind, only the drowning feeling of responsibility. In his eyes, he was responsible for the death of many - 54 to be precise - of his friends and supporters, dear friends such as Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Fred Weasley. Responsibility for those deaths created the guilt that consumes him.
It's all my fault, he thought to himself. Fred, Tonks, Colin… Lupin… they're all dead because of me.
Continuing to wallow in his self-pity, Harry walked along the grounds, noticing spots of grass stained in blood, the blood of his fallen comrades. In the distance, Harry could see the tomb of Albus Dumbledore, surprisingly unharmed from the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry had not yet put the Elder Wand back in his tomb, but in due time, it will be put to rest; the lure of its power will diminish and no one will ever seek to gain it again.
With one final look at his mentor's tomb, Harry turned on his heel, now facing the ruined castle. Hogwarts, to Harry, looked to be in a state beyond repair. What will happen now? All the students who've been attending Hogwarts, will attend Hogwarts, where will they go? Hogwarts has been seemingly destroyed, he continued to think to himself.
His legs and feet seemingly on autopilot, Harry started walking towards the broken castle. No one else was outside the castle yet, the occupants of Hogwarts either eating, sleeping, or recovering in the Hospital Ward. To Harry, it was strange that people were still sleeping at this time in the afternoon, but after all, the final battle and celebrations did last until past daybreak. Ministry officials will arrive later, Harry knew, to further investigate and examine the downfall of the former Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort. The simple fact of knowing that the Ministry would be coming to Hogwarts later, with Kingsley Shacklebolt as its new Minister, reminded Harry of the most important piece of knowledge to be gained from this entire disaster: He's gone, dead. Voldemort is dead.
As Harry reached the doors, those two sentences reverberating in his mind, a second thought came to mind, one he never truly thought of before: What now? For Harry Potter, life after Lord Voldemort never seemed plausible. Just over fifteen hours ago, The Boy-Who-Lived walked under his Invisibility Cloak to the Forbidden Forest, ready to face his death. Now, he stood at the castle doors of Hogwarts, about to embark on a new journey; Harry Potter would get to live his life.
I get to live my life, Harry thought again. …What in the hell do I do from here, then? Before Harry's inner thoughts could answer that question for him, the doors opened in front of him, his two best friends standing where the closed doors once were. The male was Ron Weasley, a lanky red-head sporting a maroon jumper and worn jeans. To his left, was Hermione Granger; Hermione, Ron's now-definite girlfriend, wore a grey jumper over a purple Oxford shirt and blue jeans. While Ron's expression was that of content and happiness, Hermione looked nervous. Even though Ron lost a brother in battle, the joy of Voldemort's death was too much for the youngest Weasley boy to mourn, at least for now.
"Hey mate," Ron said. "What are you doing out here?"
"I don't know, just walking, I guess. I can't be in Hogwarts, with… with the dead," Harry finished after stammering. He shoved his hands into his oversized jeans, and looked down at his feet, the moment feeling awkward for him.
Hermione, seeing Harry's discomfort, entered the conversation. "Harry, you know this is not your fault."
"Isn't it? Isn't every death from last night my fault?" Harry asked, a hint of anger in his tone. "I `led' everyone into battle last night, and because of it, Remus' and Tonks' child will grow up not knowing what it's like to have parents! Ron, because of me, you lost a brother!" After a moment of silence, Harry continued, saying, "It's my fault, all mine."
Ron and Hermione shared nervous looks before Ron said, "Mate, we all knew what the consequences were. We all fought, we all risked our life last night; not for the bloody Chosen One, but because it was right."
"But thing the thing is, Harry, because of you, this war is over," Hermione said, trying to be the voice of reason. "Because of you, no one else will have to die at the hands of Voldemort. So if you're going to blame yourself for the deaths of everyone last night, then at least know it was your actions that saved everyone else standing. If you didn't kill Voldemort, we'd all be dead. He and the Death Eaters would've killed us all; you saved us."
Hermione smiled at Harry, the kind of smile that could warm even the coldest of hearts. As horrible as he felt for "causing" the deaths of many last night, he did, in essence, save everyone else who was still alive now. And, most of all, the war was over. The Light had won, and Voldemort was no more. His reign of terror was over.
The three stood in silence for several moments before Harry shifted his gaze back up to Ron and Hermione. Harry smiled at the two, silently thanking them… for everything. Without saying a word, the three started to walk the grounds of Hogwarts, Harry in the middle of the two, neither of the three saying much throughout the walk. There was a time for talking, but right now, silence was simply the best conversation for them. Each could reflect on his or her own thoughts, and wonder what was next to come.
Finally, after circling the lake twice, the three started to walk back towards the castle. It was during that final stretch that Harry brought up the question he had been contemplating before Ron and Hermione joined him outside of the castle. Breaking the silence, Harry suddenly stopped and asked the two, "What comes next?"
The three all shared glances with one another before Ron said, "I don't know, mate."
Hermione, however, had a much more thoughtful, and better, answer to Harry's question. "We move on, Harry. First, we mourn and bury our loved ones. We give everyone the proper burial they deserve, and we rebuild. The Ministry of Magic will have to be rebuilt from the ground up, and Hogwarts will - quite literally - as well."
"But Hermione, look at the place!" Ron exclaimed as he pointed his arm up at the castle. "Hogwarts has been completely destroyed! Statues were blown to pieces, professors probably died, and the walls were blown up too. Hogwarts is gone; no matter how much you loved the place and its library, I think they'll have to build a whole new school."
Hermione glared at Ron, not appreciating his accidental jab at her. "I don't want Hogwarts rebuilt just so I can revisit the library again, Ronald!" Hermione snapped at Ron. "And in case you're forgetting, Hogwarts is a magical castle! The school came to life last night to aid us in battle, and it can be repaired. Statues can be repaired, walls can be rebuilt. It will take work, but Hogwarts will reopen in September. I promise you that."
Ron opened his mouth to try and apologize to Hermione, not having meant to offend her, but Harry, curious and mainly excited at the thought of Hogwarts reopening, spoke before Ron could. "How do you know this, Hermione?" Harry asked, knowing she'd have an answer. "Do you really think Hogwarts can just be repaired that quickly?"
"Of course I do," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "I, well, I already spoke with Professor McGonagall about it earlier." Hermione blushed after seeing Harry and Ron's incredulous looks at her. "I didn't seek her out like it was the first thing on my mind! I just ran into her in the halls, so I asked her about Hogwarts' future. She seemed adamant that the place would reopen, but only after many hours of labor to repair everything."
"Well then, I don't know about you two, but I will help rebuild it," Harry said simply. "Hogwarts was my home, so if I can help keep it open for others, I'll play my part." Ron nodded his head at Harry while Hermione smiled, impressed and happy with Harry's comment. Cupping his arm around Hermione's shoulder, Ron said, "We'll be right there by your side, mate. Always."
The three reached the doors to the castle. Harry and Ron each opened a door before the three walked in. Harry felt slightly better than before he met up with Ron and Hermione, but was still filled with grief for those lost and uncertainty for the future. However, for the first time in probably forever, time was on Harry's side. There was no Dark Lord chasing him down, no Horcruxes to find - nothing - only time: time to mourn those lost, time to rebuild the fallen structures of the Wizarding world, time for Harry Potter to live his life.
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