Author's Note: Yeah… about that extremely long delay. I was hoping that I would have a beta to help me out with this fic, and was waiting to have said beta read through all my chapters before posting a new one. That never happened, and my motivation just went down the crapper. However, I am itching to write again, and will be continuing this story beta-less. However, I am in the hunt for one, having just e-mailed someone who was open to beta'ing. If anyone else is interested, feel free to contact me, either PMing me on the boards (My name there is also DimeandQuarter) or e-mailing me (DimeandQuarter@yahoo.com).
Nevertheless, back I am, and hopefully everything shall run smoothly.
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Friday, May 8 - 4:00 PM
Soho, London
Despite it being a May afternoon, the temperature chilled to just over 5 degrees Celsius; the wind howled loudly while heavy droplets of rain rushed to the awaiting ground below. A man stood on the ground in a black cloak, the rain soaking his body and impeding his view from his spectacles. The weather matched the mood of Harry James Potter, as well as the rest of his fellow mourners. A wizard minister delivered a eulogy for the deceased Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Ted Tonks, but Harry was oblivious to the sounds protruding from the minister's voice. Instead, memories of a worn man teaching him to fight Dementors and cast a Patronus Charm, of the man helping him discover the truth to his parents' betrayal and death, of the man showing pictures of his new child, clouded Harry's mind. Also, a woman changing her face and hair color at will, fighting at the Department of Mysteries, and holding her husband and child played in his memory. Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks were friends, friends now fallen because of Lord Voldemort.
Coming out of his reverie, Harry noticed Ron Weasley wrapping his arm around a crying Hermione Granger's shoulder. Ron looked somber himself, but Hermione could not hold back the tears. Harry saw many familiar faces in the crowd of mourners: the entire Weasley family, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Andromeda Tonks and her grandchild, Teddy, Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Rubeus Hagrid, Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, various Order of the Phoenix members, as well as schoolmates of Harry, such as Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Dean Thomas, to name a few. Harry cast his gaze back to the girl on his left, still crying. Hermione slowly raised her head, looking to her right. Harry and Hermione made eye contact, and the sight of Hermione crying broke Harry's will. After having fought back tears throughout the whole funeral, remembering the haunting memories of the fallen and the sight of his best friend crying, Harry silently began to weep as well. Seeing Harry cry, Hermione tentatively reached out her right hand, grasping Harry's left hand. The two shared one last sad look into each others eyes before focusing back on the wizard minister, who was concluding the funeral for the three fallen.
As the funeral ended and three tombstones appeared out of nowhere at the heads of the graves, the circle of mourners headed away from the graves. Ron released Hermione's shoulder from his grip and started to walk away; Hermione tried to follow him, but was held in place as Harry remained stationery, his firm grip on her hand keeping her there with him. Needing to stay at the graves for now, Harry looked at Hermione and released her hand, the act symbolically telling her to go with Ron. Hermione rubbed her right phalanges against her palm carefully before walking over to Ron. "You go, Ron," Hermione said to him softly. "Go be with your family; I don't want Harry to be alone, not right now."
Nodding his head in agreement, Ron embraced Hermione and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before turning on his heel and walking away from the graveyard, off to join his family. Hermione watched Ron walk to his family, and once he reached them, they all gave quick goodbyes to the fellow mourners before Disapparating back to The Burrow. After seeing them depart, Hermione walked back to Harry, who was now squatting in front of Lupin's grave. Hermione placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, startling him. He turned his head back to see Hermione, causing him to breathe a sigh of relief. "Sorry, Hermione," Harry said. "I wasn't expecting anyone to stay in the rain."
"I didn't mean to startle you," Hermione replied. "I just… didn't want you to be alone, I guess." Hermione looked at Harry, sadly, and Harry returned the look with an equal amount of sadness. It'd been a sad and stressful week for many. After the celebrations wore off for the thousands of witches and wizards who celebrated, the grief returned and preparations were made for the burying of loved ones. Harry, Hermione, and Ron, as well as other Hogwarts students, attended the funeral of Colin Creevey earlier in the week, as well as the funeral of Lavender Brown. Lavender did not die during the Battle of Hogwarts, but the day after; during the battle, Lavender plummeted from a balcony and was attacked by Fenrir Greyback afterwards. There was feeble hope that she would survive her injuries, but her condition worsened throughout Saturday, May 2nd, before eventually succumbing to her death on Sunday. Of the trio, Ron was especially shaken up by her death. Despite their relationship long over, she still had a special place in his heart, it seemed. Ron was especially moody and snappy after he learned of her death, as well as on the day of her funeral.
Harry and Hermione stayed in silence while the rain soaked them for what seemed like hours, simply staring at the graves of Tonks and Lupin, as well as Ted. Despite Ted's death months before the Battle of Hogwarts, his body was never returned by the Snatchers who killed him, and no official funeral was held for him. Harry hardly knew Ted, but was still appreciative of him for what he did for Harry and others while on the run from the Death Eaters. Finally, after squatting in the rain for so long in silence, Harry began to speak. But before he did, he first stood up and walked over to Ted's grave so he was directly in front of it. "I know that I never really knew you," Harry began, "but I just wanted to say thank you. You helped heal my injuries this past summer, and put your life on the line for me and the entire Order. Without you, I may have died, and I thank you for everything you did for me, my friends, and the Order of the Phoenix."
Harry stood up, and then moved to the middle grave, the grave of Nymphadora Lupin nee Tonks. Hermione was currently finishing saying something to her, so Harry stood back and let her. Once she was done, she looked at Harry, tears in her eyes again. Harry gave her his hand and used it to help her up to her feet. Harry then took Hermione's place in front of Tonks' grave, and began to speak to her as well. "I'm going to miss you, Tonks," Harry began simply. "You were a good friend, and always knew how to make me laugh if I needed it. You helped save my life in the Department of Mysteries, and helped me out on the train the following Fall too. I'm happy that you got to marry Lupin, although I wish you had more time with him. I'm so sorry you'll never get to raise Teddy, but I promise you, I'll make sure he's raised right. Your mum will raise him, and I'll do my best to be a good godfather to him."
Harry got to his feet a third time, and walked to the left most grave, that of Remus'. Hermione was already kneeling in front of his grave, muddying her cloak and pants. Tears flowing from her eyes, Hermione said, quivering, "Professor Lupin, you were such a wonderful person. You were the greatest Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor I ever had, and you taught me so much; I'm forever grateful for all of the skills you taught me. I would not have survived this war if it wasn't for your tutelage. I know you were happy with Tonks, and I hope you two stay happy in the after life. We'll all take care of your son for you, I promise. Thank you again, Professor, for everything. I love you." Finishing her goodbye, Hermione shakily stood to her feet, and let Harry take her place in front of the grave.
Harry kneeled in front of the grave, still fighting back tears. "I just wanted to start out saying that I'm sorry for criticizing you earlier at Grimmauld, Lupin," said Harry. "You're a good man, and were like a father to me. I learned a lot from you, both about my skills as a wizard and about life. I owe a lot to you, Remus, especially helping me discover the truth about my parents. I know you're upset that you'll never get to know your son, but you must be happy to be with your friends again too. Say `hello' to Padfoot and my parents for me." Harry broke off, sniffling as tears started to seep from his eyes. Hermione comfortingly placed her hand on his shoulder, and Harry continued. "Like I told Tonks, I promise to help take care of Teddy in any way I can, and I'll be the best godfather I can. Thanks again, Lupin… I'll miss you."
Having finished, Harry stood up to his feet, only to immediately be embraced by a sobbing Hermione. Harry returned her hug, wrapping his arms around her back and allowing Hermione to nuzzle her face into the crook of Harry's neck. The two stood there for several minutes, Hermione sobbing while Harry cried silently. Finally, the two released their embrace and looked at each other, not sure of what to do next. After a few seconds of silence, Hermione spoke. "Let's go back to Grimmauld," Hermione commanded. "We should dry off and get into new clothes." Harry nodded his head in agreement and the two walked away from the graves after one last look at the tombstones. As they walked away, Hermione wrapped herself around Harry's left arm for comfort. Once they reached the gates of the cemetery, the two Disapparated away.
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Grimmauld Place
Harry and Hermione Apparated onto the front steps of Grimmauld Place, and quickly entered Harry's house to escape from the rain. Once inside, Harry led the two to his room that Kreacher had help make for him. Harry took quarters in the master bedroom of Grimmauld Place, deciding to keep Sirius' and Regulus' rooms as they were, untouched. Once the two got into Harry's room, they silently stripped their cloaks, leaving them in just their Muggle clothing. Harry was dressed in a white long-sleeve dress shirt and black dress pants, while Hermione wore the same outfit, but a black shirt instead of white. Harry quickly summoned two towels, and gave one to Hermione before pulling out a pair of grey sweatpants and a Gryffindor sweatshirt so he could give them to Hermione. "You can dry off and change into them," said Harry. "I'll go change elsewhere and ask Kreacher to make some soup." Hermione nodded her head in agreement, and Harry quickly grabbed his towel, a gray hooded sweatshirt, and black baggy sweatpants before exiting the room.
The two reconvened in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place fifteen minutes later, where Kreacher was happily serving bowls of soup to the two. "Thank you, Kreacher," Harry said to Kreacher as the house elf finished ladling the soup for the two. Kreacher bowed to Harry. "Thank you very much, Kreacher," Hermione said as Kreacher bowed at her, although he paused for several seconds before doing so. While he wasn't nasty towards Hermione anymore, he was still chilly to her at times.
Harry and Hermione proceeded to eat their bowls of soup in silence, occasionally making eye contact with each other as they ate. After filling themselves up, the two left for the revamped drawing room, where they sat on the couch in front of the fire place. Before doing so, they both made cups of hot cocoa for themselves; Kreacher offered to make the cocoa for them, but Harry respectfully declined. On the couch in front of the fire, Harry sat at one end of the couch while Hermione sat on the opposite side, each sitting with their feet up on the couch and facing each other. Hermione tucked her legs under her, and slipped a stray hair behind her ear while sipping from her cup. After taking a sip, Hermione looked up at Harry, and immediately noticed signs of discontent.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked him. Clearly, Hermione knew that there were several things probably bothering Harry, but there could be something specific he wanted or needed to talk about, she figured.
Harry stared at Hermione for several seconds, contemplating his answer. "I just... I'm tired, Hermione," he answered.
"I'm tired too, Harry," she replied honestly. "This week, it has just been so stressful, and I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it's really over. Just weeks ago, you, Ron, and I were camping in the woods, and now, Voldemort is dead. It's been so much so quickly… it's overwhelming."
"I agree," Harry agreed bluntly. "Today was a lot harder than I expected, and I don't know why. I mean, I saw Remus with my parents and Sirius just after he had died. I knew he was dead and had come to terms with it, but today, being there, seeing Tonks' mum hold Teddy, seeing you cry… I just couldn't hold it in anymore." Harry lowered his head as he finished, embarrassed with himself for admitting to have cried again.
Hermione looked at Harry lowering his head in shame, and immediately used her right hand to lift Harry's head back up, so they were staring eye-to-eye again. "Oh, Harry," she sighed. "You don't have to be ashamed to cry. It's natural to mourn the loss of our loved ones, Harry. We've done it already this week, and we'll do it again tomorrow."
Tomorrow morning was the funeral for Fred Weasley. "I know tomorrow will be hard for the Weasley's," Harry said. "They are probably preparing for the funeral now. Are you sure you don't want to be with Ron tonight? This will probably be just as hard for him tonight as tomorrow."
Hermione thought of a reply before answering. "Ron will be fine. I'm sure the Weasley's would rather keep tonight more of a family gathering, anyways."
Harry couldn't help but smirk at Hermione. "Hermione, you've known the Weasley's for seven years; Ron is your boyfriend! You are family for the Weasley's."
Hermione scoffed. "Being Ron's girlfriend doesn't make me a part of Ron's family. If I'm a part of that Weasley family, it's because of my friendship with Ron and everyone else. Same with you." Harry looked at Hermione quizzically. "You know! You were a part of the Weasley family before you ever started dating Ginny."
Harry nodded, getting the point. He shifted uncomfortably, and sensing Harry's discomfort, she prodded more on that topic, wanting to get Harry to open up to her again. "Now that the war is over, are you going to get back together with Ginny?"
Hermione thought the answer to that question would be an obvious "yes," but Harry sat in silence for several moments, wondering what he wanted to say. "Honestly," Harry began, "I'm not sure anymore. When we were out on the run, I missed Ginny, a lot. It was so great to see her again at Hogwarts, but this past week, it's all been a wake up call. Hermione, what do I really know about Ginny?"
The two looked at each other for several seconds, before Hermione answered. "Harry, you've known Ginny for years. You've fancied her without even being around her; you must care for her still!"
Harry bit his lower lip and scratched the side of his face. "I do care for Ginny, but I feel like I don't really know her. I know she likes Quidditch, and she's smart and funny and laid back, but I just don't know her like…" Harry cut himself off. He was going to finish by saying "like you" but deemed it inappropriate to say to Hermione. After all, Hermione was a sister to him, the girlfriend of his best mate.
Looking at Harry, studying him like a book from the library, Hermione knew Harry wanted to elaborate, but decided not to investigate further. Instead, Hermione stayed silent, allowing Harry to continue talking. "Ginny is a wonderful person, Hermione, I know she is. It's just… it almost feels like Ginny is a part of a life that is no longer connected to me. When I was with Ginny, everything felt normal. I wasn't Harry Potter: The Chosen One, I wasn't The Boy-Who-Lived; I wasn't even plain-and-simple Harry. I was just a regular wizard teenager: attending Hogwarts, playing Quidditch, going to classes, and having a girlfriend."
Harry smiled the saddest of smiles, and Hermione felt Harry's pain. Placing her mug of cocoa on the floor next to the couch, she reached out and took Harry's hands. "Oh, Harry. I wish that life could be that simple for you, but we both know it isn't. No matter how much we both wish you didn't have to be Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, you will still always be Harry Potter, no matter what. You can't run from who you are; whether you're just Harry or The Chosen One, you're still Harry Potter."
"And that's why I'm having second thoughts about Ginny," Harry said. "I don't know though, maybe I'm just over analyzing everything, Hermione. Maybe I just need to give myself time to adjust to this new life ahead of me, ahead of all of us."
Hermione nodded in agreement. "You're right, Harry. Voldemort is defeated, and his Death Eaters are in Azkaban. His giants have retreated deep into the forests, and the Dementors have fled as well. The dark days are behind us; we all get to live our lives without looking over our shoulders. We are only seventeen and eighteen years old. The rest of our lives are ahead of us!"
"Yeah, you're right, Hermione. You always are though." Harry laughed for a moment before becoming serious once again. "But maybe that's why I'm not in a rush to go back to Ginny. I'm seventeen years old; I have no clue what I want to do with my future. If Ginny and I are meant to get back together, then in the future, we will," Harry finished.
The two sat in silence for several moments, Harry draining the contents of cocoa into his mouth. Harry, like Hermione previously, set his cup onto the carpet next to the couch. Their eyes locked onto each other moments later and simply stared at each other. The two stayed in silence for several minutes until Hermione broke her gaze from Harry's eyes. "I think tensions are just a little high right now, for all of us," Hermione hypothesized. "Ron, you, and I, we've been through so much this past year. Our lifestyle changed so dramatically being on the run, and now that everything is over, we just need time to settle down again. Plus, with the funerals, it's just stressful and hard on us all. We all lost loved ones, but really, it could've been worse. We all could have lost a lot more loved ones: friends, family… everyone."
Hermione lowered her head a bit, slightly embarrassed by making such a morose statement. Harry, however, seemed to agree, nodding his head at Hermione. "As sadistic as that is," Harry began, "you are absolutely right, Hermione. Losing Lupin and Tonks in the final battle was, and is, hard. But to think, there are so many more people that could have died: Hagrid, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Ron… you." Hermione anxiously looked at Harry, expecting Harry to stop with that, but he continued. "I thought I lost you once before, you know… at the Department of Mysteries. When Dolohov hit you with that curse, I thought you died. Hermione, that was thee scariest moment of my life."
During his speech, Harry and Hermione somehow ended up holding each others hand, albeit very loosely. Who reached out for the others hand, they didn't know, all they knew was Harry's shocking confession while they held hands. The two stared at each other for several moments, something different in both of their eyes. However, a moment later, both snapped out of their state. Their hands pulled back to their respective bodies, and an awkward silence ensued. Harry was never the most up-front person in the world, so for him to suddenly blurt out that statement shook Hermione. She hadn't ever expected Harry to say something like that, especially about her. Apparently, neither did Harry, his face turning crimson from blushing. He quickly sat up from the couch, and grabbed both his and Hermione's mugs from the floor. "It's getting late," Harry said flatly. "We need to be at The Burrow tomorrow morning for Fred's funeral. `Night, Hermione." And without another word, Harry Disapparated down into the kitchen, dropped the mugs off, and headed up to his bedroom.
Hermione stayed sitting on the couch, Indian style, still surprised by Harry's touching words and sudden departure to move or say anything. What Harry said about her near death at the Department of Mysteries had touched her greatly; it was simply one of those heart-touching moments in life. After staying seated for several minutes, Hermione gave a deep sigh, and then sat up and headed up to a guest room in Grimmauld that Harry had already prepared for her.
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