JKR owns.
Just Decide
Chapter Three
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[AN]: Sorry for the wait! This chapter starts us into the present (morning after)-- I hope you guys enjoy!
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(Harry's flat ; 11:52 a.m.)
Harry wasn't at all surprised when he woke up the next morning and found the other half of his bed empty. Although, he was disappointed. He didn't think that after how amazing last night was, Hermione would be so quick to just run off. He thought she would have at least lingered for a little bit.
Sadly, it seemed that Harry would have to be doing some clean up after last night's events.
He let out a deep sigh as he pushed himself up from his bed, letting the wrinkled sheets fall from his naked chest. Glancing over to digital clock on his night stand, he saw that it was almost twelve in the afternoon. He knew that Hermione had a class at 10:30 every morning, and then hung out in the university library after to do her homework.
Harry figured that in a crowded library on her school campus would be the perfect place to confront her. Because, there was no way that Harry was just going to let her get away from him now. Especially not after they had taken each other's virginities. He was positive that Hermione went crazy when she woke up this morning, and had probably already compiled a list of how wrong their actions were. However, Harry wanted to make her see his side of things. He had to show her how right last night felt for him.
…
(University of Westminster Library; 12:23 p.m.)
Hermione was sitting at her usual table in the expansive library. Bright light was spilling in from the large, uncovered windows, and was murdering her eyes. She was already dealing with a pounding headache, but her hangover apparently wasn't letting her get off easy.
She rubbed at her tired eyes for the millionth time that day, before again trying to refocus on her text book. Her economics professor had assigned them to read two chapters from the book, and so far she had read about two pages. This was why Hermione didn't drink. The other reason attesting to why she should stay sober was a topic that she had refused to think about all morning. Surprisingly enough, she had been doing a good job in keeping both of her best friends absent from her mind so far today.
That was until someone stepped in front of her desk and cast a shadow over her text book. When Hermione glanced up to see who was there, her mouth fell open.
"Hermione," Harry whispered, "I-"
"Harry, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked, slamming her text book close and bringing it up against her chest. Harry rolled his eyes at her apparent shield. He had seen all of her last night-- why was she even bothering?
"I was wondering if we could talk about last night," Harry explained quietly. Even though he was upset at her actions this morning, he couldn't help but look at her tenderly. Now that he had been so intimate with Hermione, he'd probably never be able to look at her the same. Though to him, that wasn't a bad thing.
Hermione let out a forced laugh as she avoided Harry's eyes by starting to gather her belongings from the table, "Oh yeah, last night must have been crazy. I can't remember a bloody thing. If that's all then I should really be getting off to my philosophy class-"
Just as she was standing up and slinging her book bag over her shoulder, Harry stepped forward and grabbed her arm firmly, "Hermione we have to talk."
Still, she didn't meet his eyes. Biting her lip, she mumbled, "Do we have to? I'm kind of busy-"
Harry sighed, "You know we're going to have to talk about last night sooner or later. I know you know what happened. It- it was-"
Finally Hermione relented, "Look, I know." She did a quick check to make sure no one around them was watching or close enough to hear before she turned back to Harry, "Last night was a huge mistake. I agree that it's best if we just forget about it…"
"That wasn't what I was going to say," Harry said quickly, narrowing his eyes.
Hermione frowned, "It wasn't?"
"No."
"Well… I mean, what else could you have to say?"
Harry stared her straight in the eyes for a few seconds before releasing his grip on her upper arm. For a brief second, Hermione thought he was just going to leave. However, Harry's hand trailed down her arm and grabbed onto her free hand. He laced his fingers through hers before turning and heading back through the open library. Although she was a little intimidated by his facade, Hermione followed obediently behind him.
Harry led them off through the library's desks and bookshelves, over to a storage room he had spotted on his way into the place. Looking around, Harry grabbed onto the locked door handle, and with a quick spark of wandless magic, twisted it open and walked in, Hermione in tow.
Once they were both inside, Harry let go of her and turned to lock the door. Hermione threw her book bag off into the corner and then turned back to give Harry an expectant look.
Harry's eyes didn't flicker the slightest from hers as he started to speak, "I've been hoping that last night would happen for a long time now, Hermione."
She immediately frowned, "You've been hoping that we'd get wasted and betray Ron?"
"I've been waiting for a chance to show you how I really felt," Harry returned, ignoring the bitterness in her last remark.
Hermione shifted on her feet, "W-what are you talking about?"
"I remember every bit of last night, and I don't regret any of it."
"Harry…" She took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest.
Harry fearlessly took a step forward, "And if I'm being honest, I think you weren't as drunk as you seemed either."
"I was too! How dare you-"
"Hermione," Harry cut her off, "I'm putting my heart on my sleeve here- the least you could do is not lie to me."
Hermione stared at him for a long moment before softly shaking her head, "I'm with Ron, Harry. Our best friend."
Harry took another step for her, also shaking his head, "You don't love him though."
"I can learn to-"
He scoffed, "Isn't the whole point of being in a relationship is because you have equally mutual feelings for each other?"
"I don't really know," Hermione replied, starting to get heated over Harry's attitude, "I've never dated anyone before. But what makes you such an expert?"
"Nothing, it's just the most rational answer. I thought someone like you would have known so," he spat scathingly. He hadn't intended to attack Hermione once he got her alone, but if bombarding her with the harsh truth was the only way to get through to her, then he was willing to try anything.
Hermione glared daggers at him, "Are you calling me irrational?"
"Yes!" Harry shouted, pointing a finger at her, "Because if you were a rational person, than you would know that you shouldn't have to be with a bloke just to make him and other people happy!"
Hermione's mouth fell open in shock, but she quickly recovered, "Oh, so that's why you think I'm with Ron?"
Harry stepped forward so that he was only a few inches away from her face, "I know that's why you're with him. You never had the guts to actually question your own hesitation-"
"Why the hell are you assuming that I was hesitant to start dating him?" Hermione yelled, her frustration hitting a boiling point. Who did Harry think he was questioning her logic and relationship with Ron?!
"Because I fucking know you Hermione Granger! You may have had a small crush, but deep down you've been unsure about being with him from the start."
Hermione sneered, "No I wasn't-"
"If you really weren't, then last night would have never happened," Harry said lowly in a mocking tone.
"It shouldn't have happened!" Hermione screamed, about ready to tear her hair out.
Harry raised an eyebrow, "But it did because you wanted it to."
Hermione took a daring step forward, and this time pointed a finger at him, "I did not go to that pub last night with any hope that I would cheat on my boyfriend and sleep with his best mate! What is it Harry, because you're the Boy-Who-Lived, and you're so high and mighty that any girl would jump into bed with you? You can't always have you're way, you selfish prat!"
Harry's hands were starting to curl into fists, "Don't you think I know that I can't always have my way?! And for your information, I've never wanted any other girl to sleep with me."
"Well that girl can't be me," Hermione said with a stubborn look in her eye.
Harry smirked uncharacteristically, "That girl was just you. And deep down we can both agree how amazing being together was."
Hermione raised her hand at Harry's face, but he caught it before she could strike him.
"Do not hit me," he bit out through clenched teeth.
Hermione tried to slap him with her other hand, but Harry caught it again. He backed her up into the wall so she couldn't wiggle out of his grasp. As if to mock her, Harry pressed his body into hers.
Hermione glared at him, completely frustrated, "Don't tell me what to do."
"Nobody tells you what to do…" Harry spoke, his lips an inch away from hers.
Hermione tried to shake her head to deter his sudden closeness. She could feel herself slowly being sucked in to his wrath, but was desperately trying to resist. The truth was that she did remember every part of last night. She remembered the sounds he made as he kissed her and the pain she felt when he finally took her. She remembered allowing him to do those things to her, and that alone was what scared her the most. Even though she had a boyfriend, she found herself being pulled towards another man. Her boyfriend's best friend, no less. What kind of a woman was she?
"Don't make me hate you, Harry," she whispered, feeling like it was the last thing she could say to get him to go.
Harry stayed firmly pressed against her, "Yeah? Is that why your heart's beating so fast? Because you're feeling hatred for me?"
Hermione's lips fell apart slightly, her eyes still narrowed. It was a mistake on Hermione's part because Harry's focus went from glaring into her eyes to staring illustriously at her mouth. Before he knew it, Harry had leaned all the way forward and pressed his lips against hers. Hermione made a muffled noise in the back of her throat, but was instantly silenced as Harry pushed his tongue into her mouth.
It was an uphill battle for Hermione not to wrap her arms around Harry's neck and give in to the kiss, and eventually she did surrender to her instincts. She grabbed Harry's face and pulled him even deeper into the heated kiss.
Harry's body was already jumping at Hermione's every touch, and he could practically feel his blood running south. He tore away from the kiss and latched his mouth onto Hermione's neck as his hands started to tug at the hem of Hermione's shirt. Hermione's mouth formed into the shape of an 'o' as Harry's tongue swept over her pulse and his fingers grazed over her skin.
"My flat…" she heard Harry grunt as his fingers reached down to her belt buckle. Hermione couldn't think of anything to do but nod as she watched Harry make quick work of her belt. Suddenly, the conversation they had about her being an unavailable girl seemed like an extremely distant memory. Honestly, right now she probably wouldn't even be able to remember her boyfriend's name if asked. All there was, was Harry and her, and whatever was about to transpire between them as he apparated the both of them away to his flat.
When their feet touched back on solid ground, Harry stumbled forward and pressed Hermione's back into the foyer wall. Hermione let out another stifled moan as Harry gripped the back of her thighs and hoisted her up.
She wrapped her legs around his waist automatically, too caught up in the motions of everything to be thinking about anything else. Still clutching onto her, Harry moved them from the wall and started walking them down the hallway towards his room. They didn't relent from their passionate kiss as Harry turned the corner and kicked open his bedroom door. As soon as Harry slammed her down on the bed and hovered over her, Hermione started tugging at his jeans.
Both rushed to remove their clothes so that they didn't have to spend an extra moment away from their intense kiss. Harry seemed to be the most impatient to have her, even though they both had satisfied themselves only hours prior. Hermione didn't seem to mind though as he eagerly ripped at her knickers before throwing them off into the corner of the room.
Harry's lips crashed against Hermione's as he pushed into her. She let out a high moan at the sudden pain-filled pleasure, but Harry barely recognized her stifled sound as he continued to thrust.
He didn't want to be gentle, like he had last night. This time, he wanted Hermione to know how good he made her feel. He wanted Hermione to see how much they wanted and needed each other.
…
"This can't keep happening," Hermione whispered in a sad breath.
She didn't turn to look back at Harry from her position on the edge of his bed. After their first time, it wasn't long before Harry was initiating round two. Hermione was so dazed from her mind-racking orgasm that she didn't have enough energy to protest. However, after her second bout of ecstasy, the implications of their actions seemed to hit her full force. Quickly, she had slid out of bed and started to gather her clothes, all while the voice in her head was ripping her to shreds.
What kind of person was she? After the horrible and disgusting mistake she had made last night with Harry, here she was doing it again! She wasn't worthy of anyone's love, much less Ron's!
"Why not?" Harry asked still laying in bed, folding his hands behind his head.
Hermione finally turned and glared at his nonchalance, "Don't be stupid, Harry."
"I'm not being stupid. Why can't we keep doing this?" he continued, imitating her look jeeringly. Honestly, he didn't understand why Hermione was so focused on the negative. Why couldn't she just realize how much she wanted him. Why couldn't that be enough for her? Bloody hell, why did she have to worry about other people so much!
Hermione nearly curled her fists at him. What the hell was Harry playing at? Since when was he so selfish? "Because I'm with another bloke! You remember Ron, your best friend? Do you have any idea how hurt he'd be if he found out about this?" she shouted at him, hoping to knock some sense into him.
Harry simply shrugged, "Then break it off with him."
She froze for a second, letting his suggestion wash over her. For a moment, his idea seemed plausible, but then she found herself shaking her head, "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Harry, I can't just break up with him!"
"Yes you can," Harry told her, sitting up from the bed and giving her anything but a gentle look, "Your relationship is practically ruined anyway. And plus, you don't even like him."
Hermione scowled, "I do too like him."
"You romantically like him about as much as I romantically like him," Harry snorted.
Hermione sighed and put her head in her hands. Harry couldn't understand what was so difficult about breaking up with Ron. Would she rather lead him on, until he did discover them like this?
"Hermione?" Harry whispered a few minutes later.
"What?"
"Can you honestly say you're happy with Ron?"
Hermione looked up, "Yes."
The blood in Harry's veins ran cold. After all of his ridiculing and harsh words, she still wasn't ready to admit that she didn't want to be with Ron. At least, that's what Harry convinced himself it was. He wouldn't even let himself think over the possibility that Hermione really didn't want to be with him.
Harry couldn't stop himself from glaring at her as he continued his tirade, "Then why haven't you done this with him yet?"
Hermione's cheeks tinged pink, "Because, it's- I'm- I…"
"Because it'd be like shagging your brother?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No!" she quickly denied.
Harry smirked at her, "I've seen how awkward it is when you and him kiss. You never want it. With me and you, it's natural. We can't help ourselves."
"Kissing Ron is only awkward when I'm around you," Hermione shot back angrily. As soon as the words left her mouth though, she knew she shouldn't have said them. That fact would only give him more ammo.
"Why?" Harry asked smiling, "Because you're afraid of what I think?"
"No…"
Harry scooted forward on the bed until he was only a few inches away from her face. "Since you're so curious, I hate it when he touches you," he said quietly.
Hermione bit her lip as she shook her head, "Ron is my boyfriend. He's allowed to touch me all he wants."
Again, Harry glared at her stubbornness, "Yeah? Well, I'll let you in on a little well known secret; he wants to touch you like I've touched you for the past twenty-four hours."
Hermione looked away, shaking her head. She didn't want to talk about it, but that only made Harry say more, "Are you ready to let that happen? Are you ready for him to be inside you?"
"Shut up, Harry!" Hermione yelled.
Harry smirked once more, "I'll take that as a no."
Hermione could only shake her head to try and subdue her growing fury, "Steps like that take time in serious relationships! And I'm sure when that day comes for me and Ron, that it'll be wonderful, and realistic, and genuine!" She screamed her last sentence in a way to make it more convincing, both for Harry and herself. Who was she kidding? Even now, the thought of sex with Ron made her cross her legs and make a sour face.
But, she couldn't stand Harry being so assumptive. Or all-knowing for that matter. Who was he to rub it in her face? For all she knew, she could be happily having sex with Ron in a few months, or a years time.
Subtly, Hermione crossed her legs as Harry continued in his scornful tone, "Like us having sex isn't wonderful, realistic, or genuine…"
That was enough. She had enough of Harry picking on her. As derisively as possible, she scoffed, "It isn't. Because it's just that- sex. It'll never mean anything."
Well, her plan worked. Instead of arguing back, Harry gave her a strangled look, "It doesn't mean anything to you?"
She swallowed before shaking her head, "No."
Before Hermione could do so much as blink, Harry threw the sheets off him and got up from the bed. He stalked over to the door and opened it, "Go then."
"W-what?" Hermione stuttered, surprised by the look of revulsion in his eyes.
"Leave," Harry bit out.
"Harry-"
"If you don't care about me, then I'm not going to force you to stay here."
Her breath caught in her throat as he finished. Immediately, she found herself taking a gentler tone, "Harry! How could you think I don't care about you? You know how much I do!"
Harry shot her another glare, this time also filled with pain. Hermione could practically see the wall Harry was mentally building within himself. "Enough to sleep with me and then tell me it doesn't mean anything to you. That's real classy Hermione," Harry sneered.
The idea of being gentler with him immediately vanished. Hermione was appalled by what he was saying to her, and couldn't help the onslaught of insults she said next, "Me classy? Look at you! You're showing no remorse that we just betrayed Ron. You could care less that we just broke his heart."
Harry rolled his eyes, "He doesn't know about it! And no, I wouldn't care because I know it wouldn't break his heart, it would only piss him off. To have your heart broken you have to give your heart to someone, and trust that they'd never hurt you. Ron has no idea of what that really entails!"
"And you wonder why I started up with Ron and not you. You're so fucking selfish! Whenever someone else is happy and you're not, you have to find some way to take the happiness from them!" Hermione screamed in conviction, even though she knew there was hardly any truth to what she was saying. However, she was too caught up in her anger- she wanted to make Harry feel some of the pain he was making her experience, "Do yourself a favor Harry, and stop expecting that other people will be tripping over themselves to make sure you're okay! Either grow up or find some other girl to constantly satisfy you. I'm bloody tired of this!"
"Get out."
Hermione's breath hitched at the look in Harry's eyes. She had never before seen that look, or shade of black green before. Honestly, he looked like he was ready to kill.
She instantly regretted saying the hurtful words. But all she wanted was to hurt him, like he had hurt her. He just didn't understand how difficult it was; that's what had made her angry. For a second, she wondered if he was going to hit her, but quickly shook it off.
Various objects around the room began to shake. Hermione figured she'd better just go before any more damage could be done. Quietly, she gathered up her jacket and shoes from the floor, before walking past him and out of the door.
Harry slammed it shut as soon as she was gone.
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Okay, we end on a bad note, but I promise next chapter will be a little better. I know some of you have your qualms about Hermione and Harry cheating on Ron, (trust me, I used to be against it as well), but that is the path I chose in this fic. I don't want to give any concrete details away, but please remember the warning that this is an Affair Fic.
Lastly, please take the time to review! Seriously, you can copy and paste one word ten times for all I care-- just give me a little insight on how the story's doing for you.
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