A/N: Hey! I'm back. Now, this is just a short piece while my beta reader finishes with my next formal fic. It was supposed to be a one shot, but it seems I am incapable of stopping sometimes. Hope you enjoy! This is probably the only fan fiction I have written without Fleur because it was supposed to be so short-sorry! Reviews are always appreciated!
Chapter 1: Facing Consequences
"Evening Harry."
"Jeez!" Harry jumped as Hermione's voice reached his ears.
It was pretty late on a Friday night and he had just arrived to the common room after spending the majority of the evening with his girlfriend, Ginny Weasley. Or at least that was what he kept telling himself.
And Hermione apparently knew it.
"Where is she?" his best friend asked as he finally turned around to look at her.
He would never consider her ugly, not in a million years. But tonight, she looked like crap. Her hair was combed into a messy ponytail and the bags under her eyes were clearly visible. She already had her bathrobe and fuzzy cat slippers on, which brought up his next question.
"Why aren't you in bed Hermione?"
"Why aren't you?" she whispered, standing up from the couch she had been sitting on and putting a book and notes in the table in front of it. Which book it was, Harry did not even care to know at this point.
"I was with-" He readily rushed, like every other night when Hermione caught him sneaking past curfew into the common room, to tell his best friend that he had been with his girlfriend, but Hermione beat him to the punch.
"Really now? Are you going to tell me you were with Ginny? Funny, since she went to bed over three hours ago."
"She was tired," Harry whispered, clearly not believing his own words. Ginny had been the one wanting to spend more time with him. He was the one that had said he was tired.
"Of course. Now, are you going to tell me where you were?" Hermione could not care less about Ginny's reason for going to bed. She would pick a time to feel like a bad friend later. Right now, she wanted to face Harry.
"I took a walk. Now can you dispense with the third degree and go rest Hermione?"
"I will when you tell me what has been going on Harry." Hermione crossed her arms, determination in her tired eyes.
"What are you talking about now?"
"I'm talking about all of it Harry. I'm talking about your lack of sleep, the increasing amount of time you have been spending by yourself, so much that even Hedwig complains, the increasing nightmares, and oh yeah, the fact that you barely talk to Ron anymore and that you have been avoiding me like the plague since the end of last year."
"Hermione, what-"
"Oh, and do me a favor Harry. We have been friends for six years. Don't you dare insult my intelligence."
Harry took a deep breath. No matter how much he tried to hide things, they never escaped Hermione Granger. He would never figure out how she could be so perceptive.
"I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all," he whispered, "Nothing for you to worry about."
"You see, that's where you are wrong Harry. We are in this fight together and I refuse to be left out while you try to deal with your turmoil."
"Whatever `Mione. I'm going to bed." He turned around, intending to go up the steps. But her hand took his wrist before he even got a chance to move.
"LOOK AT ME." Hermione commanded.
He sighed. He was definitely in no mood for a pep talk, but he knew that if he walked out on her with that tone of voice, he would risk not making it out of the common room alive.
So he did as he was told, only to find that Hermione's eyes were shining with unshed tears.
"When are you going to stop doing this to her Harry? To yourself?" she whispered, "When are you going to stop denying your feelings?"
Her statement caught him off guard, and as a result, it made him angry. What did she know? How would she know? But more importantly, what gave her the right to pry into his personal life?
"What do you know about my feelings? Please let go of me," Harry requested. Hermione could tell she had gotten his temper to rise, for his voice was restrained. But she was not going to stop now.
"I know that your heart is not in your relationship Harry. My guess? You took the easy way out so you would not have to deal with your real desires, with what you really want."
Harry gulped. Where was she going with this? But he did not let his guard drop. He couldn't.
"And I suppose you are going to tell me what I want now Hermione, is that it?" He scoffed.
"I know you don't love her Harry. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. And she doesn't deserve this."
"I see. And what I want is?" he could not help the sarcasm that escaped his voice.
"Well, you are with Ginny because you are afraid to admit you want somebody else so badly it scares you. It scares you because Voldemort could use those same feelings to hurt you, to hurt her to get to you. Am I getting close?" she whispered in his ear.
"And what makes you think that girl is not Ginny?" he whispered with a hitched breath. Her closeness was not turning out to be a good thing at the moment.
As if she had known what he was thinking, she distanced herself from him.
"Tell me Harry, how are your nightmares coming these days?"
"What?" Harry blinked. The change of subjects had caught him off guard. One minute, he had been so close to her that he could have actually turned around and-
Harry passed his hand through his face. He had to get out of there now.
"It's a simple question Harry," Hermione whispered, noticing his tiredness. But she was not about to give up. If he would not talk to her out of his own accord, she would make sure he would talk, by whatever means necessary.
"What am I supposed to say Hermione?" There was that temper of his again. She could tell she had struck a nerve, yet again, only she could not pin point the exact moment that she had done it, making her task that much more difficult. "They are nightmares."
"Harry, please." Hermione sighed. Why was he making it so hard to get through to him? They had been friends since first year. Why did he insist on putting up a wall between them?
"What Hermione? They are nightmares; sleep has not improved. Is that what you want to hear? What can you do about it?" He was close to yelling now. Couldn't she get it? The further away he was from her, the better.
"Are you actually getting sleep?"
"Not much," he whispered.
"Oh Harry." Her face was shadowed with concern as she drew closer to him. "I could still give you a dreamless sleep potion."
"No. If he is getting into my dreams, I better make sure I know what he takes from my mind."
"Fair enough. How is Occlumency coming?"
"It's a drag-Hermione, can I please go to bed now?"
Hermione sighed, nodding.
"I wish you would trust me enough to tell me what is bothering you," she whispered.
"Nothing personal Hermione. I am just tired is all." Harry tried to reassure her. After all, it was not her fault that he was feeling the way he was.
"Sure Harry. Today is one thing, tomorrow another. I can take a hint, you know?" Hermione snapped. She was tired of the whole avoid-me situation. But she clearly was not going to get anything out of him tonight.
"Hermione, what are you talking about? I am ti-"
"Go to bed Harry. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Hermione was hyperventilating. Obviously her anger was getting the better of her. "And say hi to Ginny for me."
"What?" Harry would never get her. If Hermione knew that Ginny was not the one he wanted, why did she assume he was going over to sleep with her? Such a statement made his stomach churn.
But Hermione could only hyperventilate, providing all the answers that Harry needed. She needed to rest. Her wound did not fare well under stress.
"That's it Hermione. It is bedtime for you." He started going towards her.
"Oh, don't worry about me. You go ahead and sleep. You've been doing such a good job being self-centered lately, I cannot imagine why you would change your habit- Harry, let go of me!"
Hermione suddenly found herself in Harry's arms, going upstairs.
And no matter how much she tried to fight it, it was useless. He was stronger than her.
And fighting was not doing much to help the situation either.
"Hermione, do calm down. We are here." Harry let her go in front of her room door, unintentionally pressing her against it to keep her from falling, because she just could not stay still.
"I don't need a babysitter! I can take care of myself! And that includes walking!" Hermione could not stop yelling. His close presence did not matter. She barely noticed that she was literally trapped between his arms. She hated being treated like the damsel in distress.
Especially since he was the one in distress.
"Go to bed Hermione," Harry commanded, his arms still restraining her movement although he was not exactly holding her.
Hermione however, was not feeling like taking any more of Harry's mood swings. If he would not cooperate, why should she?
"Go to bed? Last time I checked, you were the one that was tired. Why don't you try getting some sleep? Maybe Ginny can help, since you don't seem to be able to do a very good job of it yourself."
Harry sighed. Somehow, his anger had faded away. Now, his mind was just focused on her. She was right; he was tired. But he was not exactly sure of where the sudden tiredness had come from.
Had it begun because of his own internal tumult? Or had it been because of Hermione's speech?
He sighed once more. Whether or not he liked to admit it, she was right. He was not going to let her know that, however.
"I will get to that when I make sure you are all right," he said calmly.
Perhaps a little too calmly for Hermione's comfort.
"Well, as you can see, I'm fine, so go away. I don't need you and you obviously don't need me, so what are you still doing here?" Hermione retorted.
It was clear that she was hurt and right now, he could not blame her.
"Hermione, I didn't mean it like that. I am sorry. It just…it would really help me sleep better if you calmed down and got some rest. Please?" he whispered, trying to remain as calm as possible.
He was sure that she did not know what she was doing to his mind by being so close to him, and she obviously did not care about what her present stress was doing to her wound.
If Hermione was in physical pain, she was not showing it. She was showing a different kind of pain, however.
"I have to calm down but you get to throw a temper tantrum. And suddenly you calm down and we're all supposed to go happily to our pillows and wait for the tooth-fairy." Her sarcasm was evident. Somehow though, Harry failed to pick it up.
"Hermione, I…" Harry felt the need to explain himself, if only to make her feel better and hopefully get her to sleep, for he knew that her wound had to be suffering right now. But he did not know what to say to her, how to justify the actions that she obviously disapproved of. He thought of nothing except:
"Who's the tooth fairy?"
It was an honest question however. The Dursleys had never told him anything about a fairy and he somehow doubted that it was a character from Hogwarts: A History, although he would not put it past her.
"You know what? Never mind. Go away."
"Are you going to sleep then?"
"What I do is no longer your business. Please leave."
Once more, all Harry could do was let out a breath. She had succeeded in making him feel guilty and he knew that she knew as much. But apparently, she was not content with just that. He knew what she wanted. She wanted an answer that he could not give her. So he decided to succumb to the wishes she was stating at the moment, since that was something he could give her, despite his reluctance to do so.
"All right then, if that's what you want."
"Thank you."
"Good night Hermione."
He thought he saw her wince before his legs started moving. But if it had been because of pain, Hermione did not even gasp. She just waved back at him, smiling thinly, sign that she was still angry and a clear indication that he was not getting off the hook that easily.
Hopefully, she would calm down, sleep, and be back on speaking terms tomorrow. And most of all, he hoped that her wound had not suffered much due to the stress brought on by her anger.
He spoke too soon, however.
In her anger, Hermione had not even noticed the pain. Nobody knew what caused it or how to cure it, but it appeared that every time Hermione was tense or under some kind of stress, Dolohov's spell would cause pulsating pain through her body. If this had been Dolohov's plan from the start, Hermione had to give it to him, because that was one of her greatest flaws; she was always under some kind of pressure due to the nature of her ambition and determination.
And the situation that she had been in for the past half hour certainly qualified as a high-stress one by her standards, for she could not bear the fact that her best friend was hiding things from her, especially being this close to the end of the war and so close to being without the protection from his mother.
It was when Harry took his leave that she felt the pain pulsating within her. She gasped as she grasped her abdomen, her legs giving in to the pulsations and sending her to the floor as a result.
Hermione let out an involuntary groan as she leaned against the door for support. She had been trying her best no to scream, not to alert Harry, but even her smallest movement did not go unheard by her best friend.
"Hermione!"
Harry came back running faster than lightning and before Hermione knew it, he was on the floor, one hand at the back of her neck and another one over hers in her abdomen, doing his best to steady her.
"Lean on me Hermione," he commanded in a whisper.
She nodded and did as he asked, still clutching her abdomen.
Harry's arms circled around her delicate body frame as she put her head on his shoulder. He tightened his hold on her in hopes to press her against him, to counterbalance the pressure of the pain between him and the door. He could feel her tears wetting his shirt.
It was then that he started rubbing her back, making soothing noises in her ear. This was usually the only way she would relax aside from reading a book. And Harry was not about to leave her alone to go looking for one.
Finally, after a short while of soothing sounds and touches, Harry felt Hermione steady her breath, although she had, in the process of trying to subdue the pain, moved her arms from her abdomen to his neck, and she continued to hold him tightly.
"Better?" he whispered.
"Mm-hmm." Hermione nodded.
"I'm letting go now," Harry warned as he slowly let go of her embrace.
His eyes locked on hers, and he could still notice the bright sparkle on her eyes from the tears unshed along with her tear-stained face.
"This was what I didn't want to have happen," he admitted, "You should have gone to sleep."
"Do you think this would not have happened anyway?" Hermione retorted, still angry through her tears. Couldn't he see where the tears and the pain had really come from? "I'm sorry about your shirt. I'll clean it-"
"You know that doesn't matter to me," Harry interrupted her a little harsher than he had intended just when she was reaching for her wand.
"Do I? I hardly know you anymore Harry," she snapped back. Suddenly, he could clearly see that if it was for her, she would resume the discussion. He wouldn't have it.
"Enough Hermione. Up we go." He took her in his arms again, his wand opening the door to her bedroom.
"Let go of me Harry. I can walk." Although she was not yelling, her voice was a low indication that she was anything but calm. And that meant only one thing: the pain would return.
"No. Look what happened the last time I did that."
"You really don't get it, do you?" Hermione's voice when from angry to hurt in a split second.
"Hermione, please calm down." Harry let her down on her bed, trying to remove her robes. He would not rest until she was safely tucked in bed, never mind what he was feeling as his hands fumbled with her clothing.
"Stop that. I can get undressed on my own, thank you." Hermione suppressed a moan of protest as his hands let go of her robes as if it had burned them. Why? Why did she feel like this even through her anger?
"Sorry. I just want you to go to bed," Harry mumbled. In his haste to calm himself by knowing she would not feel pain for the rest of the night, he had forgotten that what he was doing blurred the boundaries that he had set for himself.
"And I want you to listen to me," Hermione commanded.
"Hermione, please just stop."
"Harry, yelling is not causing the pain. That is where you got it wrong. What causes pain is a stressful situation-"
"Which you are putting yourself through right now."
"Wrong again Potter. What is putting me through stress right now is you. If I promise you that I'm going to sleep just so you leave this room, I still will not be able to sleep. It doesn't matter whether I'm arguing with you or not."
"Your point?"
"My point is that I am stressed because you refuse to talk to me Harry!"
She was yelling again, but this time, Harry did not pay attention to her wince. He was suddenly angry again. Why couldn't she understand that this was for the best?
"What the hell do you want from me?!"
Hermione was taken aback by his statement, but her eyes remained locked with his. She would not let him intimidate her.
"You know what I want. I want my friend back, and most of all, I want you to stop pretending that this affects only you and that you can deal with your turmoil alone!"
"I'm fine!"
"Obviously you are not or you wouldn't be yelling Harry!"
"You started it!"
"No, you did, the day you decided to start avoiding me. Was I that bad of a friend Harry?"
Harry could see that her eyes had started to sparkle again. She was about to cry. And as much as he didn't want to give her the answer she sought, he couldn't bear to see her cry, especially when he was the one responsible.
"No, never. That is the problem," he whispered.
"What is the problem Harry? Did I get too close for comfort?"
One glance at Harry's eyes told her that she had hit right on target.
"Well…that's what friends do, you jerk!" Hermione snapped. "And that's what you need right now." She had obviously circulated around the point. But in his anger, Harry would not let her miss it once more.
In one swift movement, he grabbed her arm, pulling her to him, and lifted her white Hogwarts blouse, instantly setting sight on the blue-ish abrasion.
"This is where too close for comfort leads Hermione!" he screamed, trying to strike some sense into her.
Hermione's gasp at his sudden touch got repressed as she understood what was going on.
"Harry, this was not your fault."
"It was Hermione! You nearly died because of me, and I will not let that happen again!"
"It was not your decision Harry! I chose to go with you, and I would do it again in a heartbeat!"
"I won't let you!"
Hermione scoffed. Did he honestly think he could stop her?
"Really now? Do you wish to test your wand against mine Potter? I am hurt, but I'll let you know that my magical abilities are still superior to yours."
"Hermione, you don't understand-"
"Then make me Harry, because as far as I am concerned, I'm doing what friends do, and you need a friend right now."
Harry sighed. She again had missed the point.
"I can't have you," he whispered.
"What?"
"You'll get killed."
"Harry, we'll fight together."
"That's just it Hermione! I can't fight him knowing that you are in danger!"
"You can't do it alone!"
"I have to!"
"Why won't you let me help you?"
Hermione's mouth was still half-opened when Harry suddenly pulled her closer to his embrace.
He had to make her understand, and in his anger and frustration, he did not realize that he was going about it the wrong way.
His lips landed roughly on hers, brushing them angrily, but passionately. This was, after all, what he wanted, but could never have.
He was expecting her to break away any moment, so he resolved to make the best of what was left.
His tongue went out to tease her lower lip. And it was when she opened his mouth to him, her tongue meeting his hesitantly, that he realized what he was doing.
Exactly what he wasn't supposed to do.
He broke away, gasping.
"That's why," he whispered, jumping out of her bed and exiting from the room without waiting for her reaction.
He had enough problems without waiting for what she was going to say or do. She was most likely going to slap him anyway, which is exactly what he wanted her to do. He wanted her to remind him that he could not have her.
But that kiss; it had been heavenly bliss, and the way her tongue…
"Oh shit," he whispered, making his way to his own chamber.
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