A/N - I don't own Harry Potter or Back to the Future (even though most of the similarities to that great movie aren't readily apparent at the moment) I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also there may be a slight delay in the posting of chapters 11, 12 & 13 because I'm doing a fairly substantial re-write of those three chapters. The delay shouldn't be too long and chapters after that are remaining 99% as they are now and should be posted fairly quickly after that. Big Thanks to my Beta's Katia, Ragavendran & Dementor149.
Chapter 10 - And Baby Makes Three
The next few weeks passed in a blur. Harry wasn't getting much sleep because Hermione, who still hadn't found an antidote, was thrashing about in her sleep with nightmares. He'd tried helping her find a solution but each time he did she grew increasingly irritable with him and pushed him away. He thought the moodiness might have been a result of the potion messing with her head, but after she pulled her wand on him he couldn't really push it any further.
So each day passed in a bit of a blur as he sat above the entrance to Gringotts bank on his broomstick and shrouded in his invisibility cloak. For all he knew of what happened, Bellatrix could have come and gone a dozen times in a conga line of death eaters and levitating muggles in the air and he wouldn't have noticed unless one of the levitated muggles had knocked him off his broom. He was fairly certain none of that had happened, but he was so tired and distracted that it was a possibility.
Finally it was the day before his birthday and he was distracted even further by the constant thought that his mum might go into labour at any moment. His aunt had never told him even the most basic facts about his parents so he had no idea what time of the day he'd been born, or how long his mum had been in labour before hand. It seemed a little odd to be so worried about an event that had long since passed relatively uneventfully, but he couldn't help himself.
The birth of this baby, of himself, was just incomprehensible to him. He was going to be able to see how much his parents had loved him, to see how much he had really lost. It wasn't something that he'd ever thought he would see and he'd pushed it to the back of his mind and tried to pretend that it didn't make a difference. But he knew that it did and he knew that seeing this was going to kill him.
He looked at his watch, it was half past five, Gringotts had been closed for half an hour and he hadn't realised. Not wanting to risk the noise of apparition, Harry flew out to the busy muggle street and apparated in mid-air on his broom, hoping the noise would be written off as the sound of a car back-firing.
He got home and entered the kitchen, `I'm home,' he announced, but Hermione didn't look up, `How's the research going, found anything?'
She shook her head, `Not yet, I'm feeling very strange though, and jittery. But I can't decide if that's an effect of the potion or just my own nerves. Do you think I seem a bit, highly strung today?'
She said all of this so fast that Harry's head spun, `You do seem a little hyper,' he said, `you haven't been drinking lots of coffee have you?' he asked looking at the cup in front of her.
`I have had a few cups, do you think that's what it is. I thought it might have been a symptom. I think I might have to go back to the cave and have some more of that potion, I don't think I had enough for it to do anything.'
`Hermione, no.' Harry tried to make his voice commanding but it still sounded like a plea, `don't have any more of that potion, it's poison remember? For all we know it could be doing something you can't feel, and you've been having nightmares ever since you had it, don't forget that.'
Hermione sighed, `I suppose you're right, I just don't feel like I can think lately for some reason. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, Sirius dropped by before... he was pretty excited but I didn't really understand what he was talking about, he said something about having a Buck night for your Dad.'
Harry frowned, `that doesn't make sense, isn't that something you do before you get married?'
Hermione shrugged, `I did say that I didn't understand what he was talking about... anyway, he said they'd be at the pub.'
`The pub?' asked Harry, `Do you think he meant the Leaky Cauldron?'
`I doubt it, it's not exactly safe to get drunk there at the moment, and I'm certain that was part of his plan.'
`Right, so....?'
`My guess would be the local one.'
`You'll be ok here on your own tonight?'
Hermione smiled, `Your not actually my husband Harry, you don't have to ask my permission to go out. Besides I'm going to keep Lilly company, with your birthday tomorrow she could go into labour at any time.'
`Good idea, alright, well... I guess I'll... see you later.'
Hermione stood up and kissed him on the cheek, `Have fun, dear.'
Harry shook his head, laughed and left the house. It was a bit of a walk into the local town but it helped Harry to clear his head, he was a bit worried that he and Hermione were taking this whole private joke of "being married" a bit too far. He had no problem with her teasingly giving him a kiss goodbye on the cheek and calling him dear, and taken on its own it was innocent, but it wasn't on its own it was one of many incidents.
Harry really doubted that Ginny would understand that he and Hermione "had to" share a bed, or hold hands in public, or that Harry occasionally had to put his arm around her. Or any one of the million and one, perfectly innocent, things they'd had to do to maintain their cover. He'd tried to justify it, so far their cover had worked brilliantly, and they'd managed to fly under Voldemort's radar. He still didn't think Ginny would buy it though, especially not if she guessed that over the last couple of months sharing a bed with Hermione had become a bit more than just comfortable. It had become so comfortable that Harry was starting to find it, a little, uncomfortable. Particularly when he woke up in the morning and she was draped all over him, something that happened almost everyday.
Harry was fairly sure that if he'd had time to say good-bye to Ginny he would have broken up with her before he'd left the future. She probably would have done the honours herself if he'd told her that he was planning on travelling back in time for two years and that he was only taking Hermione with him and that they were going to pretend to be married. In fact Harry was pretty sure that if he'd told Ginny that before he'd left he probably wouldn't have been alive long enough to leave.
Harry pushed the thoughts of Hermione and Ginny out of his mind as he pushed open the door to the muggle pub in the centre of the town, he wasn't getting anywhere with it anyway.
As soon as he entered the room he saw them, they were in a corner booth but there were only three other people in the bar and those three people were quietly nursing their beers. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were falling all over the table and each other; all of them talking at the top of their voices.
`Hey, you lot, what's going on?' asked Harry as he approached their table.
`Harvey!' chorused the voices of the other four men, `Have a seat!', `Grab a pint!', `Barman, another pint for our friend!' They yelled over the top of each other as Peter moved over to make room for Harry to join them.
Harry sat down and a pint of beer was put in front of him, he grinned, if nothing else changed he would always be able to look back on having a beer with his dad. `Cheers!' he said, raising his glass.
`So,' he said when he'd taken a sip, `What's going on here?'
Sirius cleared his throat, `We thought that, on the eve of one of our own becoming a father, we would have one last Hurrah to our carefree, childless days.'
`That's right,' James interjected, nodding sagely, `very soon it'll be all about bottles and babysitters and worrying about the sprog.'
`I'll probably never meet a girl who'll have me,' Remus added, over the good-natured jeers of his friends, `But Sirius and Jane are probably going to get married,' again Remus had to raise his voice over the loud comments of his friends, `and Peter will probably find someone...'
`Eventually!' James called out loud enough to interrupt,
`Yes,' Remus agreed, `Peter will probably find someone, eventually, to settle down with.' Remus then raised his glass, `Tonight, marks the beginning of the end ... of our days as carefree young men.'
`Boo!' Sirius called, as though he was at a quidditch match and disagreed with a call made by the referee, Peter booed as well but James didn't join in, instead he raised his glass and continued the toast that Remus had started.
`From this night forth, we will be responsible role models,' he burped loudly and continued, `with a young buck to care for and look after.'
Sirius had stopped booing and raised his glass, `a young buck to guide and mould, in the proud tradition of the marauders.'
Harry was touched by their words and couldn't help but raise his glass and add, `to watch over and protect.' Remus, Sirius and James all grinned at him and then as one they turned to Peter.
Peter grinned nervously under their combined stares and Harry felt something heavy drop into his stomach, Peter had changed sides, he was almost certain of it. `Cheers!' Peter squeaked, raising his glass. It was nothing like the warm words of everyone else but the others seemed to accept it, they raised their glasses higher and all chorused `Cheers!', Harry joining in a little half-heartedly, and then they downed their drinks.
While new drinks were being poured Sirius turned to Remus, `Who says that Jane and I will probably get married anyway? I've made no such allusions!'
`Aw, come on Sirius... we're not blind mate!' laughed James.
`I dunno what you're talking about,' said Sirius, slurring slightly, `I don't think she even loves me... gone off to bloody Australia for a month... without me. For all I know she could be shagging every bloke in sight.'
Remus took another sip of his drink, `Sirius, do you honestly think Jane would cheat on you?' but James shook his head, `it's not cheating if you're in another country, Moony, you know the rules.'
Remus snorted, `Please, as if any of us really believes the rules.'
`Hey!' Peter interjected, `You guys all told me it wasn't cheating when I picked up that girl while I was dating Michelle, because Michelle was overseas at the time.'
The other three dissolved into laughter, and Harry couldn't help but laugh along with them, their laughter was contagious and the beer was starting to affect him.
`Well, we all saw how well that worked out!' said James still laughing, `But I still say you didn't cheat on her... when the cats away, the mice will play.'
`That's right, if she didn't want you to be with other girls she shouldn't have gone overseas for so long without you.' Sirius added, `All the girls know the rules.'
`Is there more than one then?' Asked Harry, curious as to what the others might be.
The question earned him another round of laughter and much clanking of glasses. `Harvey, my dear boy, let us educate you on the rules,' said Moony, in a way that made Harry feel he was back in a third year defence against the dark arts class.
`Now we've already covered that, its not cheating if she's overseas. The reason being that if she's gone to another country what you do while she's away doesn't count.'
`Then there is the extension of that rule,' added Sirius, with a hiccup, `It's not cheating if she's in a different post-code ... same reason.'
Peter laughed and added his own version, `It's also not cheating if you're on a broom stick, because what happens in the air stays in the air!' All five of them cracked up after that one, and Harry realised that at some point he'd finished his beer, so he poured himself another one from the jug on the table while the other four continued to expound on the rules.
`It's not cheating if you're with two different witches at once,' contributed James, `because they cancel each other out.'
Harry looked at his dad, horrified, `You'd never do that to Lilly though, would you?'
`That's different entirely,' said Sirius sagely, `he's a married man, he's not allowed to touch another woman under any circumstances, just like you're not allowed to touch any girl but Hermiah.'
Harry grinned relieved that his father didn't think these rules applied to him and amused that according to these four he was only allowed to touch Hermione. The reality was that he wasn't supposed to touch Hermione at all, though he had to admit that the line had become increasingly blurred since they'd been in the past. `Of course, I'm sorry... please continue to educate me.' Harry said contritely.
Sirius leaned over and whispered, `It's not cheating if you use polyjuice potion to turn into someone else because the person you become isn't dating anyone.' All five men hooted with laughter and the list of rules continued.
`It's not cheating if you use polyjuice to turn your girlfriend into a guy for a bit and then go with another girl cause you don't date blokes!'
`That's disgusting Wormtail!'
`It's not cheating if you do it under an invisibility cloak cause if it can't be seen, did it really happen?' added Moony
`Remind me never to lend you my invisibility cloak again!' interjected James, laughing hysterically.
`It's not cheating if the girl you're with is under an invisibility cloak, because if you can't see the witch you couldn't have been with her.' Said Sirius
`Or you either, you old dog!'
`It's not cheating if you use an aging potion to make yourself younger first cause when you were that age you weren't dating your girlfriend.' Was Peters next contribution
`You guys have thought about this way too much!' Harry added, reaching for the pitcher to pour himself another drink. When he picked it up he saw that it was empty, `Barman, another pitcher here please!'
When the barman had come and gone, James leaned in across the table, `I thought of another one. It's not
cheating if you use a time turner to go back in time to before you were together cause back then you weren't dating
each other yet!'
The laughter began again, Sirius was next, `it's not cheating if your mate memory charms you after cause if you don't remember it, did it really happen?'
Harry laughed along with the rest of them and then, maybe because the beer had lowered his guard, or maybe because he'd been thinking about it right before he'd arrived that night but he opened his mouth and asked a question that he should have kept to himself.
`So if you go back in time to before your girlfriend was born that wouldn't be cheating either, would it?'
The other four men laughed as though he'd just told the best joke they'd heard all night, `Of course not!' James practically yelled.
`How can you be unfaithful to someone who hasn't even been born yet?' was Sirius response.
`Besides,' added Moony, `If you went that far back in time you could accidently stop her from being born, how can you cheat on someone who might never exist?'
They all laughed again and then the conversation moved on naturally to other topics, but as much as they'd all been joking they'd given Harry a lot to think about. He was basically in the process of trying to change one of the fundamental experiences of his life, if he'd had his parents around while he was growing up would it have made him very different to what he was now? If it did, as he rather suspected it would, would he still have dated Ginny at all?
He couldn't dwell on it too much though; the Marauders were noisy and boisterous and demanded his attention. They kept filling his glass with beer too and that was making it hard to concentrate as well. By the time Hermione came to collect them all at three in the morning, to tell them that Lilly had gone into labour and was now at St Mungo's, they were all well and truly plastered. They had been singing rude songs about witches riding broomsticks for at least the past hour.
Hermione sobered them all up with a quick wave of her wand and they all apparated to St Mungo's to wait through the rest of the night in solidarity with James, who was looking frantic and couldn't stop pacing.
By five in the morning they were all starting to feel the effects of the long night without sleep when little baby Harry was brought into the world. Harry had been worrying, secretly in the back of his mind, for months about the weirdness of possibly having to hold himself, but when James put the baby into his arms it didn't feel weird. Instead he just felt a surge of fierce protectiveness and he found himself whispering a promise to the sleeping infant, `Don't worry, I'll make sure you have a better life than I did. I'll do everything I can, it won't happen again. I promise.'
Hermione was standing beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, offering silent comfort and support. Harry smiled at her and passed her the sleeping infant. The look on her face was unreadable but Harry didn't need to see the silent tears that slipped down her cheeks to know the heartbreaking sadness she felt for the little guy and the things that lay ahead for him if they didn't do something.
That morning as they lay in bed, trying to get a few hours sleep he heard her whisper her own promise to him.
`I won't let it happen either, Harry, anything I can do... to stop it from happening... I will, I promise.'
Harry rolled towards her, their faces only inches apart, `I know you will, Hermione.'
She seemed surprised to see him awake but she didn't pull away from their suddenly close proximity, instead she leaned closer and kissed him gently on the cheek, `I know but I needed to say it anyway, more for myself than for you.'
He nodded, and returned her kiss on the cheek, `I know, you never need to say anything for me.'
Hermione smiled and Harry, suddenly feeling slightly afraid of the intimacy of the situation smiled back and then rolled away, `Goodnight, Hermione.'
`Goodnight, Harry.'
That night, when Hermione had her nightmare, she clung to Harry and whimpered. He tried to calm her down as much as he tried to wake her up but he was unsuccessful in both. When Hermione did finally wake at about lunchtime she was embarrassed at how tightly she was gripping him but didn't remember having dreamt at all. It started a trend though, and soon every night she was crying out in her sleep and clinging to Harry as though he was about to fall off a cliff. It was the first night of many and though Harry found it easier to sleep through than her previous thrashing about, he did start to get really worried. After about a week he decided that they had to talk about it.
`Look, it's not that I mind you clinging to me while you sleep.' Harry blushed at how bad that sounded, `I mean pretty much since our first week of sharing a bed I've woken up to find you draped all over me.' His blush intensified, he was not making this any better, `what I mean is, it's just concerning me that you're having such bad nightmares every night now... I'm worried; I think it's because of that potion. Aren't you any closer to figuring out what it is?'
They were in their kitchen eating breakfast together, before Harry headed off to the bank for the day. They had joked that it was like he had a nine-to-five job now, because he only had to stake out the bank during business hours. It had been weeks now since she'd taken a sip of that potion and it seemed she was no closer to finding anything. Harry had to place several large bets on quidditch matches to help their finances keep pace with the number of books Hermione bought but still she didn't find anything that could help.
`It's okay, Harry; I'm not going to die from nightmares, unless you decide to kill me so you can get a decent nights sleep.'
`Don't be silly, I'm just worried that's all.'
`You're a good husband, Harry, but...'
`Don't turn this into a joke Hermione,' he interjected angrily, `Every night your nightmares get worse and every day the symptoms from that potion get worse. It's not funny that the effects of this potion get worse every day, even though it should be working the other way. I know enough about potions to know that their effects are supposed to decrease over time... not increase. Have you tried the Bezoar?'
`No,' Hermione admitted shamefacedly, `it seems like cheating, and,' she held up a hand to silence Harry's objection, `it seems dangerous to try a remedy when you don't know what the problem is. For all we know a Bezoar could make it worse.'
Harry did not agree but he couldn't fault her logic, `fine, how about we go to Hogwarts again then and see if we can get the Half-Blood Prince's potion book, maybe there'll be something in there?'
Hermione pursed her lips, `Fine, but if I do this, you have to leave me alone and stop bugging me about whether or not I've found a solution.'
`I'm not bugging you...'
`Promise me.'
Harry folded his arms across his chest, he didn't want to give up the right to bug her about it but he could see that there was no way he would get her to even consider looking at the Prince's book unless he did.
`Fine,' he snapped, `I promise to stop bugging you about it, but you have to promise you'll actually read the book.'
Hermione raised her right hand and swore, `I promise I'll read the Prince's potion book'
Harry spent that day at the bank seething, he couldn't believe the condition she'd put on using the book. If she didn't want him to care about her then maybe she should stop being so... Harry couldn't find the word to express what she was that made him care about her so much. He was too angry, he told himself, it was her fault he cared about her as much as he did and he couldn't just turn it off. A promise was a promise though, he thought bitterly, so until she found the antidote he would just have to bite his tongue.
That night when he got home he found Hermione curled up on the sofa in the living room reading his old potion book. She had been to Hogwarts without him; she must have just used the map to avoid being seen. He couldn't believe she'd taken such a risk, after all her talk about him having to lay low and not blow their cover.
After a day spent on his broom fuming, and now returning home to this... betrayal, he couldn't stay there. He just needed to get away from it all for a bit and pretend, for a moment, that everything was normal and ok. Hermione hadn't looked up when he walked in and she didn't look up when he walked out either. She knew this was hard on him but it was hard on her too, she didn't want to admit how scared she was. He had been right that morning when he'd said that her symptoms shouldn't be getting worse and she was more scared about what that meant than she cared to admit. There was also the fact that she'd been experiencing a lot of symptoms that she hadn't even told him about, but none of it had helped her to pinpoint what the potion in the basin had been. Hermione was terrified that she would never be able to.
Harry walked across the road trying to leave his bad mood behind him as he made his way to his parent's house. Hopefully they wouldn't mind him dropping in like this and maybe they would even invite him to stay for dinner.
James answered the door with the baby in his arms. Harry tried not to think of the baby as himself. James and Lilly obviously loved their baby very much and their love translated into every one of their actions. Seeing it only made the memories of the rest of his upbringing harder to bear. James took one look at Harry and motioned him into the room, `Lil! Set another place at the table, Harvey's staying for tea.'
`How did you know...' but Harry didn't get to finish his question because James interrupted him, `Come on, Harvey, I've been married long enough to know that look. I get it too whenever Lil's and I have a fight. So what happened?'
Harry sighed and shook his head, `It's probably really stupid,'
James just nodded, `it usually is.'
Harry's mind was racing as he tried to come up with a plausible story that stayed as close to the truth as possible, `We found this potion, and we weren't sure what it was, but rather than just getting rid of it Hermiah decides that she has to know what it is first and thinks the best way to find out is to take just a little sip.'
`What? Is she crazy? It could have killed her.'
`That's what I said, but she said there were very few potions that could kill a person just from one sip. She was sure she'd be able to figure out what it was and come up with the antidote... but she can't figure it out and she's started having nightmares... and... Now she's getting angry at me for badgering her about it...' Harry broke off his story, amazed to find that he was near to tears.
James put the baby down in it's crib and came over to Harry to put an arm around him, `Hey, I'm sure she will figure it out before it does any lasting damage. You could even ask Lilly for help, she's a real wiz with potions. Slughorn said he was the best he'd seen in all his years as a teacher.'
Harry raised his chin, `You really think she'd be able to help.'
`It can't hurt to ask.'
So while they were seated around the kitchen table eating dinner Harry outlined the problem to Lilly being careful to stick to the story he'd fed to James. She looked more suspicious, as though she wanted to know where they had found this potion or why it was so important to know what it did that Hermione had risked her health for it but thankfully she didn't. When Harry had finished his story she sat silently for a moment deep in thought.
`What antidotes has she tried?'
`None so far, she's worried that if she tries an antidote that doesn't work it might make things worse, or it might change the potion so that it makes it harder to cure.'
Lilly frowned, `That doesn't make sense, antidotes don't work like that. I would have thought Hermiah would know that.'
`Really?' Harry was amazed
`Yes, but maybe the potion works in such a way as it prevents the person whose drunk it from thinking straight? You said it was giving her nightmares and effecting her emotions... so maybe it affects the cognitive ability. If it's making her paranoid then it would be reasonable for her to think a cure would make it worse.'
`I'm not much of a potion maker, I didn't know that. I wonder if she'd even believe me if I told her.' Now that Hermione's mental state had been called into question Harry didn't know how to approach her.
`I'd try a Bezoar first, you could just stuff it in her mouth while she's sleeping or something, and it should at least help. Maybe if she can think a bit more clearly at least then she'll realise what you're saying is true and try other antidotes.' Harry liked the idea and before he left that night Lilly gave him a Bezoar to feed to Hermione.
When he got home his opportunity presented itself immediately. She was lying on the couch, still curled in a ball and clutching the book to her chest but now she was clearly asleep. Harry sat down next to her gingerly. Sensing his presence Hermione woke up. Harry smiled gently at her and nodded his head toward the stairs. Hermione's answering smile was broken by a sudden yawn. Reacting instantly, he stuffed the Bezoar in and held his had over her mouth, while pinning her down with the other.
She started to struggle immediately; Harry was forced to use his entire body weight to keep her from throwing him off. After a few minutes struggle, she swallowed the Bezoar and no sooner had she done so then she went stiff as a board.
Harry moved off her, looked into her blank staring eyes, and started to panic. He should never have questioned her, if she thought the Bezoar might be dangerous he should have known she would more than likely be right.
`Hermione?' He called her name and tried to gather her up in his arms. He pleaded with her, he shook her, he held her close, but nothing seemed to work. Then, after a few minutes of absolute mindless panic he heard something. It started as a low whine coming from deep in her chest, gradually it grew louder and louder until it was a scream, but it wasn't her screaming. The noise didn't seem to be coming from her at all but rather from something deep inside of her, and it made the hair on the back of Harry's neck stand on end. When the scream ended her breathing returned to normal, and she seemed to be fast asleep.
Harry prayed to all of the gods he could think of that she was really just sleeping, and not in a coma or anything. He carried her up to bed and, for the first time, he held her while she slept.
She didn't have any nightmares that night and when he woke up the next morning he was greeted by a tearful Hermione who clung to him and wept tears of relief on his shoulder.
`So how do you feel?' asked Harry gently after she seemed to have calmed down.
Hermione looked up at him, her eyes were red and swollen from crying and her hair was a mess but Harry thought that she looked better than she had since she'd taken the potion.
`I don't think the Bezoar is a complete cure, I still feel weird but I also feel much better. Its been so hard to stay focused and I felt like everything was out to get me. I still feel a bit ... unsettled, but, I can think again. Thank you, Harry. I don't know what I'd do without you.'
`You'd probably be living a happy, danger-free life.'
`I'd probably be living a very boring life.'
`So I guess it's back to the drawing board for a cure to this poison then?'
`Yes, but I think we also need to start working on other things as well, like finding a way to confirm if you are a Horcrux or not.'
`I thought you'd forgotten about that.'
`Of course not, I'm still determined to prove you wrong on that, but we also need to start planning a strategy to go after Voldemort when we get back to the future.'
`Yeah,' Harry ran a hand through his hair, `I guess at least we'll know where he'll be, and I've got that spell to use on him but we're going to need more than that... I can't just knock on the front door. There's so much we need to get done!'
`That's not all either; we still have to figure out a way of saving your parents without completely ruining everything.'
`Do you think there is a way?' asked Harry, his heart in his throat. What he'd said to Hermione all those months ago about having made peace with losing his parents had been only barely true when he'd said it and was now absolutely false. The more he got to know them, and the more he saw them with himself as a baby, the more he couldn't bare the thought of returning to a future in which they were dead. Vow or no vow, he had to figure out a way to save them before it was too late.
All of this passed between them as she looked into his eyes, `I honestly don't know, Harry, but if there is... I promise we will find it.'
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