Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for any queasiness, cringing or self-harm that this fanfic may cause. I also do not claim the characters. Even the name Snuggie does not belong to me and must be credited to Rose. The plot, however, is mine. Sort of. :P
Warnings: Teddy Bears, OOC Draco, and Toy-nappers. Oh my!
How To Be a Malfoy: Lesson 552.
In order to be a true Malfoy one must not grow attached to 'cute' things. This is a demeaning act that will lower the persona of debonair refinement one created for oneself at the instructions of lesson ten, and will leave one open to ridicule by the lesser-beings.
To see what can be defined as cute, please refer to the Malfoy Glossary. You will find it under the section labelled 'Vulgar Stigmas'.
Note: If an aspiring Malfoy has succumbed to the powers of the 'cute', it is not too late to salvage one's identity. Simply follow these simple instructions:
1: Indulge in one's shame only when one is alone.
2: Keep it secret.
3: Slowly work your way into replacing your attachment with the vulgar for something more intimidating. (For further details on what can be considered tastefully intimidating, please refer to the Malfoy Glossary. You will find it under the section 'Necessary Accessories'.)
As stated in Lesson 21, in the situation where a potentially embarrassing secret has been leaked, it is your duty as a Malfoy to force the lesser mortals to be foiled in their attempts to ridicule.
Remember, a Malfoy is never wrong. A true Malfoy has the ability to turn any situation to one's advantage. (Refer to Lesson 2.)
May the 'Malfoy' be with you, and may Merlin grant you redemption from this vulgar attachment.
OOOO
Draco Malfoy stared at the closed door. He was currently sitting on the edge of his bed in the sixth-year boys' dormitory, alone, and had no desire to be interrupted. The oafs, Crabbe and Goyle, had an annoying habit of turning up whenever they weren't wanted, and though he knew he was safe from Blaise Zabini-the boy spent most of his time admiring his own reflection in the mirror-he knew that Theodore Nott was just as perceptive as he was disturbingly quiet.
Satisfied that he was not going to be interrupted, Draco reached under his bed and pulled out a black box. It was a very intimidating box, one that was sure to hold the most deadly of secrets.
He opened it.
There, smiling up at him from inside, was a brown and slightly faded teddy bear. One of its ears had been chewed, and its fur, which had once been glossy and soft, was now rather matted.
Throwing another wary glance at the door, Draco picked up the well-loved teddy from the box and gave it a surreptitious hug. Even being alone he could not bring himself to hug the toy without feeling like he was committing some heinous crime, but the bear was just so soft and cuddly. He couldn't resist the cute, little thing.
Draco closed his eyes, drinking in the scent of chocolate and…bed. It was an odd combination, to be sure, but one that had soothing effects upon the boy in question. It reminded him of home.
Suddenly voices could be heard. Male voices. Horribly familiar male voices, at that; and, by the sounds of things, they were just outside the door.
Looking rather like a startled hare, Draco quickly made to put the bear back into its box, but then he realised the boys would see him putting the box away and that would lead to a whole lot of unwanted questions and potential snooping expeditions.
Draco stuffed the bear in his school bag.
The door opened. Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle entered the room. Draco inwardly sighed in relief. At least Nott wasn't with them.
"Malfoy," Crabbe greeted, spotting the tense blond. "Why didn't you come down to lunch?"
"I wasn't hungry," Draco lied.
"You missed out on some good food," commented Goyle, while trying to pick out the remnants of said food from his teeth.
Zabini ignored them all. He was too busy checking to see if his hair was still as perfect as it had been when he had left his dorm that morning.
"What's that?" asked Crabbe, gesturing to the open box on Draco's bed.
"Just a box," shrugged Draco.
It was lucky Zabini was too concerned with his appearance to pay attention to this conversation. Crabbe and Goyle were too stupid to wonder why Draco would have an empty box on his bed and did not think to question their aloof friend's motives.
Again, Draco inwardly sighed in relief.
The oafs sat down on their beds and started discussing their favourite subject. Food. Draco was beginning to get annoyed. It was obvious his 'friends' were not going to leave any time soon.
His eyes flicked to his school bag. The bear was still in there.
This was bad.
Zabini finally turned away from the mirror, satisfied that his appearance was still in order, and slung his school bag back over his shoulder. "We've got Transfiguration now."
Crabbe gave an audible sigh. "I didn't finish my essay."
"I'm sure McGonagall will understand," said Zabini, smirking, "trolls aren't exactly known for their literacy skills."
"Say that again, Zabini, and I'll break that pretty mouth of yours," growled Crabbe, cracking his knuckles.
"I hate to break it to you, precious, but I don't swing that way. There's no way you're coming near my lips."
Crabbe turned purple.
Zabini smirked, satisfied that he had silenced the boy, and turned to Draco. "Are you coming?"
"Yeah," said Draco, stomach sinking at the thought of the little teddy still hidden in his bag. "I'm coming."
He slung his bag over his shoulder and followed Zabini out of the dorm. The last thing he wanted to do was take his teddy to class with him, but what choice did he have?
None, Draco thought grimly to himself, and the worst part about it was the knowledge that he would not be able to get the chance to come back to his dorm to replace the teddy after class had finished.
Draco inwardly sighed. Could this day get any worse?
Apparently it could.
OOOO
Ginny Weasley was bored. Not the typical kind of bored, where one just can't be bothered moving to go do something, but really bored.
Her eyes roamed the library, searching for something, anything, to break the cloud of tediousness that had descended over her, but there was nothing. She was doomed to boredom.
Ginny vented her feelings at this discovery by slamming her book down a little harder than necessary on the table. She stood up from her chair and went to make a dramatic exit out of the library but, unfortunately for her, her foot got caught on a bag resting by one of the tables and she instead found herself falling flat on her face.
It was dramatic, but not quite the flair she had been going for.
Grumbling curses under her breath that would have put a sailor to shame, Ginny started to scramble up off the ground, when her eyes suddenly fell on a brown teddy bear, worn with age and much love, sitting just inches from her face.
She frowned. What in Merlin's name was a teddy bear doing in the library?
Ginny picked up the bear from the floor and hauled herself to her feet. It was a cute little thing, really. It almost reminded her of her own Mr Pugglesworth that she had used to treasure as a child.
But whom did it belong to?
She gave another searching glance around the library. It was rather empty today, but if she was hoping to find someone who looked like the typical owner of a cute teddy bear, she was doomed to disappointment. There was no one.
Her eyes flicked to the bag she had tripped over. A few books had spilled out onto the floor. She wondered if the teddy had fallen out along with them.
There was no name on the bag or on any of the books that had fallen out, and the table where its owner had obviously been sitting was empty. No doubt the person-and the friends sitting with said person-had gone to look for more books to research.
A glance at the collection of work sprawled out on the table revealed the invisible occupants to be Slytherins.
"Slytherin sixth years," she mumbled to herself, spotting Blaise Zabini's name scrawled on the cover of one of the books.
Well, none of these boys could possibly be the owner of the little teddy. It seemed the poor thing had been abandoned.
Ginny smiled at the bear in her hands. "You're in luck, Mr Bear. I'm going to give you a new home."
Mr Bear said nothing. He just grinned at her with his chewed ear and black button eyes.
Taking this as a show that he was perfectly satisfied with this plan, she stuffed the bear in her bag and headed out of the library.
Five minutes later Draco Malfoy returned to his table. He was quick to notice that his bag had been moved and that his books were strewn over the floor.
A deep sense of foreboding came over him. He picked up the bag and peered inside, his stomach sinking when he saw only a few quills and an inkpot.
"What's the matter?" asked Zabini, coming to stand next to him. "You look like you've just seen McGonagall naked."
Draco's face scrunched up at the image his friend had planted in his mind, but then he went serious again.
"Someone's been into my stuff."
"Who?"
"I don't know," murmured Draco, glancing about the remaining occupants of the library with suspicious eyes, "but I plan to find out."
OOOO
Draco returned to his dorm that night both tired and defeated. He had questioned everyone who had remained in the library on whether they had seen anyone snooping near his table, but he had might as well saved his breath. Nobody had seen anything, and Draco was skilled enough at reading emotions to know that they had all been speaking the truth.
Frustrated with his lack of progress, he had got rather short with one of the first years that had happened to be standing near him, reducing the poor boy to tears.
Madam Pince had kicked him out after that.
Dinner had been just as unsuccessful. He had half been expecting his bear's kidnapper to flaunt the teddy in the Great Hall, so as to humiliate him, but there had been no flaunting and, even more surprisingly, no word of gossip involving himself and his cherished teddy.
This did little to comfort the Slytherin boy. While he was glad his secret was still safe for now, he knew that someone in the Great Hall was aware that he owned a teddy bear and had actually taken it with him to Hogwarts. That person had also kidnapped said teddy bear.
The thought made Draco's blood boil. Merlin knew how they were treating his poor teddy. He doubted the kidnapper would tuck the little bear up at night to keep it warm. No doubt the person would be torturing the helpless thing, pulling out its eyes, and shaving off its fur.
A stinging sensation burned in Draco's eyes. He couldn't let that happen. He had to get his teddy back, and he had to stop that person from spreading his secret.
The war of the stuffed toys had begun.
OOOO
"Hurry, Ginny, we're going to be late," called out Madeline, popping her head back in the dorm.
"I'll be there in a minute."
Ginny turned back to the mirror and finished plaiting her hair. She grabbed her bag from her bed and was about to leave, when her eyes fell on the teddy bear she had rescued the day before. It stared at her with soulful, button eyes.
"What? You want to come too?"
Mr Bear remained silent, but his smile was speaking enough.
A laugh escaped the redhead's lips. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she murmured to herself. She picked up the bear and placed it tenderly in her bag so that its head was just poking out.
"There, Mr Bear, now you can see what's going on. I hope you realise that I am going to be ruthlessly teased for this, but hopefully my reputation can carry it off."
Mr Bear just stared at her.
"Right," muttered Ginny.
She really needed to stop talking to inanimate objects.
Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she exited the dorm and made her way out of the corridor. She had Potions first, and so paid little attention to her surroundings as she raced down the stairs towards the dungeons to avoid being late. Everyone knew how quick Snape was to hand out detentions.
It was in that moment that she crashed into something solid, and no, before your mind starts racing away with you, it was not Draco Malfoy.
Ginny toppled backwards and landed hard on her bottom. She groaned to herself and raised furious eyes to see Vincent Crabbe meeting her glare with an equally menacing gaze. Goyle was sniggering uncontrollably beside him.
Draco, the last of the annoying trio, was not laughing. He was staring entranced at the brown teddy sticking out of her bag.
"Watch where you're going, you big tub of lard!" snarled Ginny, quickly getting to her feet.
Crabbe cracked his knuckles menacingly, looking quite ready to do violent damage to the petite redhead, but Draco's hand shot out and latched around the boy's wrist.
"What do you think you're doing?" demanded Draco, quite astonished by his friend's behaviour. "You can't hit a girl."
Ginny blinked. Was Draco Malfoy defending her?
Crabbe scowled. "But she-"
Draco clouted the taller boy around the head. "No, idiot. If you're going to attack a girl you have to use a hex."
"Oh," came the trollish reply. Crabbe then pulled out his wand and aimed at Ginny. He frowned, looking more trollish than ever, and looked towards the blond for help. "I can't think of any hexes, Malfoy."
Draco rolled his eyes at his friend's sheer idiocy. "I don't know why I bother sometimes," he muttered to himself.
"Right," said Ginny, smiling now at the two boys. "Well you stay here and figure that out. I'm going to class."
Stepping away from them, she headed towards Snape's classroom and was lost in the swarm of students filing inside.
Draco smiled grimly to himself as he saw the last trace of red disappear into the classroom. He now knew who had kidnapped the bear. It was obvious she had been taunting him by carrying it around with her.
Well, she had certainly succeeded with her bait. He would make sure they met again, but next time there would be no Crabbe or Goyle to get in the way.
OOOO
Ginny bit into her apple, munching away quite at her leisure. She was heading towards the lake where the rest of her friends were lounging around and gossipping. She was not, however, prepared for the sudden tug on her school bag, jerking her to a ruthless halt.
Letting out a squeak of fright, she spun around, eyes blazing, and was confronted by Malfoy's smirking face. He was holding Mr Bear in his hands.
"Give me back my bear, Malfoy," demanded Ginny, reaching out a hand to snatch it off him.
"Your bear?" He lifted the bear above her reach. "Oh it's yours, is it?"
"Yes!" growled Ginny, jumping up to try get it off him. "Now give it back!"
Draco laughed, though underneath the amusement he was doing some quick thinking.
Weasley had no idea the bear was his, but then how did she get the bear in the first place?
"GIVE IT BACK, MALFOY!" Ginny bellowed, making another mad jump to grab it.
"I don't think so," said Draco calmly, still holding the bear above her reach. "I don't think Snuggie wants to be with you anymore."
"Snuggie?" Ginny repeated, frowning. "What are you talking about? His name is Mr Bear."
"Mr Bear? What kind of name is that?"
"What kind of name is Snuggie?"
All too quick Draco realised his mistake. Snuggie was the name he had given the bear.
"Whatever," he said dismissively, pulling himself back together. "The point is, Weasel, I'm not giving you this bear back."
"Why? Want someone to keep you company on those cold, lonely nights?"
"Are you offering?"
"Ugh, as if."
Draco just smirked.
Ginny was getting angry. She reached her hand into her robe pocket to grab her wand, but the only object she found was a lolly wrapper. She'd forgotten that her wand had been confiscated for the rest of the day as a consequence of her casting a bat-bogey hex on Crabbe after he'd tried to get his 'revenge'.
"Well, Malfoy," she said with as much dignity as she could, "it seems I can't hex you, since I don't have my wand."
"Too bad," he said unsympathetically. "I guess that means you'll have to surrender."
Ginny just smiled. "No, Malfoy. Gryffindors don't surrender."
And then Ginny Weasley did something very undignified indeed. She tackled him.
Draco made an odd 'oomph' noise at the impact, the both of them falling to the ground in a pile of limbs. Ginny straddled his waist and yanked the bear out of his slackened grasp with a triumphant 'hah!'
Her triumph was short lived. In one quick movement she was rolled over onto her back, the much taller and stronger Slytherin boy now pinning her down underneath him.
"I don't think so, Weasley," he murmured, voice taking on the sleek tones of velvet.
Ginny breathed deeply, her eyes locked on his. "Get off me, Malfoy."
His lips curved up into a smirk. "No, I don't think I will. Not until you promise me that you won't pull another stunt like that again."
"If you just gave me my bear back I wouldn't care."
"It's not your bear," ground out Draco, losing his patience.
"You couldn't possibly know that," retorted Ginny.
And then a horrible thought came into her head. She stared at the handsome boy above her and slowly began to piece everything together.
"Merlin. He's yours, isn't he?"
Two pink spots came to his cheeks.
Ginny giggled. "Well, I wouldn't have thought that. Draco Malfoy, the teddy lover. This is perfect. Wait till I tell Ron. He's going to love this!"
"Oh shut up," growled Draco, and then he kissed her.
For a moment Ginny was too stunned to do anything; then she tried to fight him off, and then her lips betrayed her by kissing him back.
She didn't know how long they laid there, arms wrapped around each other, and kissing like their very lives depended on it, but then he pulled away. As usual, his trademark smirk was in place.
"Why did you do that for?" demanded Ginny a little too breathily for her likings.
"You tell anyone about my secret and I'll tell everyone about your little secret."
Ginny scowled. "And what is that?"
He laughed and leaned down again to brush her lips with his, smiling when he saw her eyes close in dreamy ecstasy.
"That you snogged me senseless, of course."
"And what if I don't tell?" came the husky reply.
His smile made her body heat up with pleasant warmth.
"Then I would be obliged to give you your reward."
She grinned and placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. "I think I'll take the reward."
OOOO
And so the war of the stuffed toys drew to a close.
Mr Bear, also known as Snuggie, was returned to his box and sent back home to Malfoy Manor. Draco Malfoy no longer indulged in his attachment to the cute bear. He had found something much more intimidating.
A redhead with a temper.
The End