Disclaimer: Anything you recognise isn't mine.
A/N: This was written for Nik's birthday challenge at rowangreenleaf's DG forum. Hope you enjoy the fic, Nik, and-more importantly-I hope you have a great birthday. ^_^
Warnings: Some mention of, ahem, naughty things that is not suitable for those of innocent minds. Don't worry, my precious ones, there's nothing graphic.
Also, this fic is not to be taken seriously. Don't get your knickers in a twist if you read something that makes you want to raise your eyebrow or scream in denial. :P
A Malfoy in the Closet
Keeping secrets was never easy for Ginny Weasley. Keeping Draco Malfoy a secret, however, had might as well be a task for Hercules.
It had been two months since that fateful day when she had grabbed him by his tie and snogged the living daylights out of him after calling him the most conceited prick ever to ruin her life. The fact that he had only ruined her life by being too damn sexy to resist-his words, not mine-was a fact that he was quite certain he could live with.
As such, the unpredictable couple had become, well, a couple. They were rather unconventional, frankly aggressive at times, and perhaps it was for this reason that the passionate love affair was seen to be pushing at the lid that desperately tried to keep their relationship a secret.
One could put a lid on just about anything, but Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley together was something that just screamed to be broadcasted to the world.
Unfortunately for Ginny, if her family ever discovered that she was having a secret relationship with Draco Malfoy-let alone shagging him-she would be locked in her room for the rest of her life and probably given a chastity belt for good measure.
It was imperative that her family never find out her secret.
Of course, the man in question was making this feat rather difficult. If there was one thing that Ginny despised and reluctantly loved about Draco Malfoy, it was his arrogance.
For the first month he had happily played along with the 'hide and seek' act if it meant he was getting a good shag out of it, but, as of late, he had become rather lax in his stealth skills. He seemed to think that he didn't need to try to be subtle anymore.
The incident at the restaurant was one such example.
There they had sat at one of those cute but generically clichéd tables with the chequered tablecloths, eating Italian, and looking for all the world like the perfect couple. In reality, Ginny was threatening to stab him with her fork if he attempted to steal one more meatball from her plate, but who cares about details?
You do?
Oh.
Well, Ginny was threatening Draco with a fork over her meatballs. Draco, naturally, replied with the suggestion that he would make it up to her with his balls. She was not oblivious to the innuendo and was all ready to make a witty retort, when Ronald Weasley and Luna Lovegood walked into the restaurant.
Quick as a flash, Ginny had Draco shoved under the table and had him crammed up beside her legs. She was just in time, too, for a second later Luna and Ron noticed her and came over to say hello.
That was when things had started to get messy.
"Luna. Ron," exclaimed Ginny, pretending to be surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"We're on a date," explained Luna, giving a rather dreamy smile at the tall redhead she was currently attached to by the hip.
"Why are you here all by yourself, Ginny? Not waiting for the mystery man, are you?" asked Ron, peering around the restaurant as if a man was going to suddenly pop out at him like a jack-in-the-box.
Ginny's lips twitched. Well, if Draco cared to he certainly could.
Still, she didn't like the fact that her brothers had started up theories about a mystery man. Of course they would realise that she was dating someone-and they had taken great delight in creating up a bunch of ridiculous suitors for that someone, including a troll, Filch and Hagrid-but she knew that it was only a moment of time before they found out the real truth and told her parents.
It was a moment she dreaded.
"No, Ronald, I am not waiting for the mystery man," replied Ginny. "In fact, he just left in a huff, so it seems you've missed doing your usual threats of castration or whatever it is you do to any male who comes near me."
Ron seemed genuinely disappointed at this but did not let it keep his spirits down. Oh no, he just had to go and sit in Draco's unoccupied seat-nearly kicking Draco in the head with his lanky legs-and then dragged Luna in beside him, clearly making himself comfortable. He then proceeded to fire the usual twenty questions while at the same time making ridiculous guesses over whom her 'mystery man' might be.
Ginny repressed a sigh.
Meanwhile, under the table, Draco was getting increasingly annoyed at the fact that he was crammed up under the chequered tablecloth while his girlfriend, her brother, and the crazy wench dating her brother, chattered merrily about whether Ginny was dating a man who wore a monocle or not.
He was a Malfoy, after all, and Malfoys do not hide under tables. It was just wrong.
Irritated, especially since he always seemed to be the one stuffed in cupboards or pushed out of beds while still naked, Draco decided to have a bit of revenge against his lovely girlfriend. The temptation, after all, was too much to resist when he could see right up to her cotton knickers from his current position. Ginny never could sit like a real lady. Not that he was complaining right now.
Smirking evilly to himself, he trailed his fingers up her thigh and began his planned assault. Ginny, of course, had tried to kick him away as soon as she felt his touch, but he could be just as stubborn as her when he wanted to, and very soon had the great satisfaction of eliciting a small gasp from her.
Ron stared at his sister with a frown. "Everything all right, Ginny?"
Ginny squirmed in her seat, trying to keep her expression as 'pleasure-free' as possible. It was rather difficult.
"I'm fine. I just hit my leg on the table," she replied a little too breathily to be natural, and then promptly gave her boyfriend a hard kick.
There was a yelp of pain but that was, thankfully, swallowed up in the sounds of Ron laughing. Draco was not to be deterred by a single kick, however, and continued to inflict his pleasurable attack on her, ahem, sensitive spot.
Not even she could disguise the low moan that escaped her throat that time.
Both Ron and Luna stared at her with bewildered and slightly suspicious glances. Ron's eyes then descended to the table, his expression coming to resemble that of a man slowly piecing two-and-two together.
For a moment it seemed like the fat would really be in the fire, but then Luna suddenly declared that the restaurant was smothered in floggerty blubblemoths and that Ginny was clearly suffering from the effects of their magical powers.
Ginny eagerly seized on the explanation. Ron continued to be suspicious and looked like he wanted nothing more than to rip up the tablecloth, but nothing would satisfy his girlfriend except to leave the restaurant immediately and find somewhere new to eat. In true 'Luna' fashion, however, she was thoughtful enough to spare Ginny an explanation on how to stop the effects of the floggerty blubblemoths.
Ron was given no choice but to leave, and Ginny was given free reign to rant at her boyfriend as soon as he reappeared from under the table once the coast was clear. The argument lasted for a good fifteen minutes, but then dessert came and Ginny was much appeased by a healthy dose of some chocolate creation that she could not remember the name of but that looked and tasted divine.
Draco took the opportunity to kiss her during her mellowed mood, revelling in the chocolaty taste of her lips from where she had not quite licked away all the dessert, and coincidentally ended up with chocolate smeared across his cheek.
Ginny decided to get a little revenge of her own and saw fit not to tell him about this certain blemish on his normally impeccable face. It was nearly four hours later before Draco was made aware of its existence.
Needless to say, Ginny was on his black list for a good portion of the next day. That was until she told him that he was acting like a huffy girl on her period. Draco stopped ignoring her after that, though it was a while before they could stop arguing and (quite literally) kiss and make up.
And so their crazy relationship had continued, precariously positioned between discovery and secrecy, with Draco almost always tipping the scales with some of his more outrageous behaviour.
Ginny knew her family was becoming steadily more suspicious. It would not be long now before something was leaked.
She sighed, rolling over in the bed, and turned the picture of her family face up. Draco had placed it down the night before, adamantly refusing to make love to her while the family of redheads watched from the bedside table. Even now the thought brought a smile to her lips.
He could be so adorable sometimes.
The sound of the front door opening made Ginny frown. She flatted with Hermione but her friend was supposed to have been away for a job convention for the rest of the weekend.
One minute later this fact was made very wrong as Hermione burst into the room, greetings dying on her lips. The bushy-haired woman took one look at the frozen redhead in the bed-who was clearly naked and had all the appearance of one who had spent a very pleasurable night-and then stared at the discarded (and obviously male) clothes lying on the floor.
Ginny inwardly cursed, but the final sentence of doom was the sound of the shower turning on from the adjoining bathroom and Draco's suggestive call that she was most welcome to join him.
She could only be grateful that his voice was muffled to the point where it was unrecognisable, though she doubted it would have helped much where Hermione was concerned. That woman missed nothing, evil snoop that she was.
"Well," said Hermione.
"Well," echoed Ginny, fingering the sheet nervously.
"I see you've been busy."
Ginny had the grace to blush.
"I take it that is the mystery man in the shower?"
"Um…."
Hermione didn't wait for the answer. She walked over to the bathroom door but Ginny was up on her feet in an instant-sheet wrapped precariously around her naked body-and planted herself before the bathroom door.
"You can't go in there!"
"I'm not going to go in there," said Hermione, scrunching her face up in distaste, "but I am going to tell him to get out and reveal himself. This 'mystery man' business has gone on long enough. I am not going to have your brothers staging a stakeout again so that they can catch you with your man in our flat. You remember what happened last time?"
"It's not like I asked them to do that," retorted Ginny, stung.
"No, but they did it anyway. If you're going to have a relationship, Ginny, at least have the decency to be open with your friends and family to save us all this trouble. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with your family's antics anymore."
"You try having that many brothers all eager on making you the eternal spinster, not to mention my mum and dad who are just over-protective to the extreme. It's not exactly a picnic."
"I know that," replied Hermione, softening slightly, "but you know that keeping it secret isn't going to solve anything. Don't you think you're just making a mountain out of a molehill? What's the worst that could happen, after all?"
Ginny shook her head. "You don't understand. I can't tell them about him. They'd go berserk."
Since Draco chose that moment to reappeal his request for her to join him in the shower, Hermione was rather struck by the force of this argument.
"Fine, keep your secrets, but don't blame me when things turn to custard."
"Yeah, yeah," mumbled Ginny, already having heard that one before from her bushy-haired friend.
Hermione shook her head, smiling slightly, and then said that she had to go back to the convention. "I was only stopping in to pick up something I'd forgotten."
Ginny nodded. "Okay. I'll see you when you get back."
The friends said goodbye and then Ginny collapsed back against the bed, her brow puckering into a frown as she thought over her friend's words.
As much as she didn't want to believe it, she couldn't help but feel that maybe Hermione had a point when it came to keeping Draco a secret. Things were getting out of control now. Any day the truth was going to be spilled and she knew it would be better to have that happen in a tactful way rather than her parents finding out through a result of their clandestine behaviour.
"Draco, hurry up!" called out Ginny. "We need to talk."
It was the dreaded three words that all men feared to hear, and it had Draco out of the shower in record time.
He stood at the door, looking very sexy in only a towel, with his hair still wet. It was obvious to Ginny that he was attempting to divert her thoughts from the 'talk'.
"Stop being such a poser," scolded Ginny, repressing the urge to roll her eyes. She had seen his body more than enough to no longer become befuddled at the sight of him all wet and alluring after having a shower.
Draco gave his trademark smirk and then dropped the towel on the floor.
This time she really did roll her eyes. "Honestly, Draco," she muttered, though her lips quirked up into a smile.
"You know you love me," he taunted, now pulling on his clothes.
"Only when you're not being an arrogant jerk, which is, what? Never?"
"Silly," scolded Draco, crawling onto the bed and positioning himself above her. "That's why you love me."
Ginny tried not to smile but her treacherous lips decided to lift of their own accord. Draco spotted the movement and reflected her smile with one of his own before he dipped his head and claimed her mouth with a slow, sensuous kiss that made her toes curl.
"Mmm, Draco, stop trying to distract me," mumbled Ginny, breaking away from his kiss and pushing him back with a hand on his chest.
His smirk crept out again. "It was worth a shot."
She just glared at him.
"Alright," he sighed. "What do you want to talk about?"
"I think we should consider telling my family about our relationship."
"Finally," exclaimed Draco, quite relieved.
Ginny frowned. "You mean you've been wanting to?"
"Well, after being interrupted for the third time while having sex with you, and consequently being stuffed in a cupboard until your annoying relation left the flat, the whole secrecy act got kind of old."
He smiled and cupped her face with his hands. "Besides, I want to truly be able to call you my own. I don't like knowing that Potter can hug you in public while I can't."
"But you never do hug me," Ginny pointed out with a laugh.
"That's because I can do better things," responded her boyfriend, giving a rather suggestive smirk.
Ginny just rolled her eyes. "Alright, Mr Smooth, keep your pants on. We need to figure out how we're going to break it to my parents first."
"How about you just tell them the truth that you're dating me? It's a simple and not very creative plan, but you know, love, I do think it would be the most effective."
"You make it sound so easy."
"That would be because it is."
Ginny sighed. "I suppose."
"You know I'm right."
And though she would never admit it, she did realise that he probably was.
They could come up with all the creative and intricate plans that they wanted, but in the end the only method that would work would be if Ginny told her parents the simple truth: that she was dating Draco Malfoy. Her mother would ensure that the rest of the family soon found out.
After that it was a simple matter of surviving until the novelty of their relationship wore off for the family.
Ginny couldn't say that she was looking forward to it, and perhaps that was why she decided to put off telling her family for another day. Draco sighed but reluctantly agreed.
This proved to be a big mistake.
The next day Ginny did her usual routine. She woke up-this time alone-showered, got dressed, had breakfast, and was about to go to work when she discovered a very nice looking owl, complete with glossy letter, tapping at the window.
Frowning, she opened the window and relieved the owl of its burden. Barely sparing a glance at the official seal stamped onto the parchment, she opened the letter and then felt her jaw drop as she took in its contents. Then she screamed and began dancing around the kitchen clutching the letter to her chest.
"I got in!" declared Ginny rapturously to the empty room, still bouncing around in circles. "I'm officially a chaser for the Holyhead Harpies."
Such was her joy at this news that it was a while before she could settle down enough to realise a new exciting fact. She no longer needed to go to her boring job.
"This calls for celebrations," muttered Ginny, whipping out her parchment and ink.
For the next half hour she wrote letters to all her friends and family telling them of the good news. Then she went to invade her boyfriend's workplace to share the good news with him in person.
Draco, as his own boss, was more than happy to give himself time off. The two of them were soon seen to be making their way into town to celebrate and continued to celebrate long into the evening.
Knowing that Hermione was still away at her convention-and hopefully would stay there this time-and that Draco's flatmate, Pansy, had supersonic hearing and would only complain if they were too noisy with their more physical celebrations, Draco and Ginny once again made their way back to Ginny's flat to continue the snogging session that was rudely interrupted by a fat woman needing to use the loo.
Ginny wasted no time in opening the door, grinning as she pulled Draco closer to seal her lips with his. They half-stumbled, half-walked into the darkened flat, hands freely wandering the other, with their lips locked in a deeply passionate kiss.
He pressed her up against what he assumed was the table, dipping his head to assail the hypersensitive skin on her neck. Ginny, annoyed at this fumbling in the dark, used her wand to flick on the lights.
"SURPRISE!"
Ginny and Draco sprang apart in fright at the loud shout, their eyes widening as they took in the scene.
Nearly every member of Ginny's family was present, as were a good majority of her close friends. However, looking at the sea of faces staring back at her, all standing underneath a banner bearing the legend 'Congratulations Ginny', it would seem that it was they rather than the snogging couple who got the surprise.
Draco swore under his breath. Ginny was much in agreement with his feelings.
This was not how she wanted to break her relationship to her family, especially as half the buttons on her top were undone, revealing a rather risqué lacy bra.
"GINEVERA MOLLY WEASLEY, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" demanded the Weasley matriarch, placing her hands on the menacing position of her hips.
Ginny gave a sheepish smile. "Um…surprise?"
The explosion that followed this pronouncement was far too overwhelming to describe, but let it be known that Ginny Weasley never put off telling secrets to her family again.
THE END
A/N: So that ended up way different to what I expected, but oh well. As long as you enjoy it, Nik, that's what counts.