Anything for Harry: Chapter 3
She stopped him, he didn't understand. Dad was right. "No Harry. You don't understand. I want to be your girlfriend, wife, mate, lover, and mother of your children." He simply stood there, mouth gaping. Then a mixture of emotions ran through his eyes, eyes that she could read clearly, confusion, wonder, joy, then sadness and hope.
Finally he squeaked out, "You're joking of course."
She felt the tears coming but she wouldn't run from this, from him, it was too important. She stepped even closer, invading his space as she often did but this time she put her hands around his waist. She felt him flinch but he didn't move away, just looked into her eyes. "No Harry, life is no joke as you are well aware." Her right cheek was wet from a tear, the left would soon follow. She ignored it, unwilling to remove her hands from him. "Like I said I've been a right idiot. I'm trying to correct that now." She took a ragged breath, refusing to think about him refusing her.
He finally reacted. His hands came up and he brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. He spoke so softly she could barely hear him from inches away. "You're the most important person in my life. When I think about doing something reckless it's your voice I hear in my head cautioning me. I can't function without you. I don't know what love feels like. What it feels like to be loved or to love someone else. I thought I loved Cho, Sirius, and Ginny. If that was love then I have no idea what I feel for you. I couldn't live if you died." His arms had fallen to her shoulders, he moved them behind her and stepped against her and gave her a bone crushing hug.
She put her head on his shoulder and returned that hug with as much force as she could. They just stood there, even when they slowly relaxed their hug neither moved. "We must live our lives in spite of Tom Riddle. I'm not hiding anymore. I'm here for you and I refuse to hear any arguments against it. I've thought of all the reasons not to and dismissed them all. Like you told my parents, everyone knows how close we are. Aside from you and maybe even ahead of you I am already the number one target."
He hugged her hard again, she hadn't been ready for this one and air was forced from her lungs in a rush before she could tighten the muscles of her ribcage. He was muttering, "no no no." He started shaking, his right arm moved up and she heard his glasses hit the coffee table. He was breaking down.
She pulled her wand out, "nox." The room went dark. She was patting his back while she put away her wand and moved them to the couch. He was still muttering. She couldn't catch most of what he said as his mouth was against her shoulder. But her shirt was wet and that told her enough. She sat on the couch pulling him down with her. "I'm here Harry, I'll always be here, and you'll never be alone again."
Huge wracking sobs tore through him as he began to cry in earnest. She looked up waiting for her parents to come, they would certainly hear this. They both came rushing into the room a moment later, she had her hand up in the universal stop signal, she was rocking Harry and holding him tightly with her other hand. She shook her head no very deliberately and pointed them out of the room. He would have felt her movements but they probably had not penetrated his grief. Her mother looked on, tears falling down her own cheek in sympathy as she backed from the room. Dobby was beside her tugging on her pant leg and looking very worriedly at Harry. Her father scooped him up as he would have a small child and held one finger to his mouth as he walked from the room, elf in one arm. They closed the door to the hall, now the only light was the street lamp that filtered through the curtains.
She had been mumbling random words of kindness while she rocked and held him. Now that they were alone she could try to help him through this. This had to be about Sirius and Dumbledore. He had never grieved for either of them. "Let it out love, let it out." The word felt strange saying it to him for the first time. Would he remember it? The word she had been unable to speak in their first year. She bent over and kissed his wet cheek. But it hadn't been either of them that had set this off. No, it was when he had thought about her being Tom's primary target. She re-affirmed her oath to herself to help Harry feel the love she knew they shared. She rocked him slowly, patting his back and occasionally kissing his cheek for about ten minutes before he stirred.
He pulled away from her chest and looked up at her, gulping ragged breaths. He spoke in a husky whisper, "Everything I have cared for seems to get taken away from me, my parents, Nimbus, Quidditch, Firebolt, Sirius and now Dumbledore." He took a ragged breath, fresh tears leaked from his eyes. "I cannot lose you. I cannot stand up to Riddle without you." He looked around the room, without his glasses she knew he wouldn't see much. He focused back on her face. "I won't try to keep you out of danger because I can't. I need you to be very careful though, don't take any risks, if you-" He gulped and steadied himself, "If you die, Voldemort will win. So don't, don't think of sacrificing yourself like my mum."
She nodded. The breakdown had been caused by his thoughts of losing her. "Together, or not at all, we live or die as one." She hugged him to her breast, he was still crying but seemed to be coming to the end of his tears for now. He would probably break down a few times over the next week or so.
She twisted and pulled her wand from her pocket again then Accio'd the box of tissues from across the room, dropped her wand onto the couch beside her and snatched it before it hit Harry in the back of the head. She put it on the couch beside her and pulled two of them out and put them in Harry's nearest hand. Then took another from the box and dried her own eyes. Good thing she only wore mascara on special occasions or she would look a fright.
He sat up and collected himself. He turned his back on her and blew his nose. She put the box of tissues on the coffee table in front of him and reached around the side of the couch for the rubbish bin. She put her left hand in the middle of his back and just held it there, letting him know she was still there and still supporting him. It took him four tissues to get himself sorted then he went looking for his glasses on the table. She handed them to him since he couldn't seem to figure out what blob was them.
"Thanks." He turned to her curiously, seeing the dark stains on her tan shirt. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be. It doesn't bother me and I am very happy you finally started this process. A year is a long time to bottle up those emotions. Feel free to cry on me again." He seemed to be feeling awkward. Guessing he was trying to puzzle out their current relationship she continued. "I don't expect you to start kissing me or taking my clothes off." He looked shocked at that statement. "We'll take the time you need. If you feel the desire then act on it, I won't push you into anything, nor will I stop you." Again that shocked look that made her want to shag him right now. "I have already made my pledge to you. There is nothing you could say, or do, that will drive me away."
He seemed on the brink of tears again, he sniffed and nodded once. "Ok, I need to come to grips with all of this." He looked around the room, apparently noticing the closed door and lack of parents for the first time.
She picked up her wand and tapped the nearest lamp with it and it came on. They both spent a minute getting used to the light. She focused on the coffee table and saw a maternity clothing catalogue. Why was that here? When she was able to keep her eyes open she continued. "They came running, I shooed them away for now. Want me to go talk to them first?"
"No, I'll go with you." Suiting actions to words he stood and held his hand out to her. She pocketed her wand and took his hand. He helped her stand and they walked to the door. He opened it. Crookshanks was sitting directly in front of the door looking expectantly at them. Harry reached down and touched the Kneazle's head, "Hi Crooks, thanks for guarding the door."
Hermione scooped her familiar into her arms and they walked to the kitchen. Dobby was sitting in a chair at the table with her parents. The three of them looked sympathetically at them when they walked in but none of them spoke.
"Sorry about that. I hope I didn't worry you all too much." The three of them shook their heads.
Hermione dropped Crookshanks onto the floor and slipped behind Harry, her arms going about his waist and head on his shoulder. Again she felt him flinch at the unexpected contact but his cheek brushed hers. She said, "Don't listen to him. I'm so proud of him. He finally started grieving." Again those looks of concern, Dobby looked like he was going to start crying himself. "And thanks dad." As her father nodded her mother and Harry looked at him curiously.
Her mother looked pointedly at the way they were standing and nodded.
Dobby could no longer contain himself. He jumped up and came to hug Harry's right leg. "Dobby was worried about Harry Potter sir. Dobby did not know what to do but mommy and daddy Granger told Dobby that Misses knew what to do and you would be ok. Are you ok now Harry Potter sir?"
Harry put his right hand on Dobby's hats and his left atop Hermione's clasped hands on his waist. "I'm fine now Dobby, thank you."
"Can Dobby get you something to eat or drink Harry Potter sir?"
"Water please, a large glass with a lot of ice, my throat is kind of raw now, thanks." He added the last bit as a Hagrid sized bucket of ice water appeared on the table. He sat in the nearest chair and started sipping on one of the straws Dobby had thoughtfully put into the impossibly large cup.
She stood just behind his chair and looked at her parents, "How is the packing coming? I heard about the flight."
Her mother answered, "Most of the upstairs is packed, except your room. Our luggage is ready and we called our staff at the practice. Officially we're out of town for a family emergency."
She nodded, "Dobby can you come help me with my room please." She let her hand linger on Harry's shoulder as she walked towards the hallway and upstairs. Her father started talking just as she left but she didn't catch it and Harry would tell her later if he wanted to. Dobby was following her and smiling broadly. "What is it Dobby?"
The little elf looked surprised to be addressed but answered as they reached her room. "Dobby was thinking Misses that Misses makes Harry Potter very happy."
She couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "I'm trying Dobby, it's complicated though." Dobby nodded then looked around expectantly. "How are you storing these things? Are they going to a vault at Gringott's?"
He nodded, "Yes Misses, I'm shrinking them all and sending them into a doll house in the Potter family vault."
"Could you transport something there and not shrink it or let magic affect it in any way?"
Dobby scratched under this hats for a moment then nodded. "Yes, Dobby can do this thing."
She touched the underside of her built in window seat and the cushion popped up. She knelt and did the combination to the safe that the seat had been built to conceal. Dobby came and looked into the safe as she swung the door open.
She pulled out her violin case and set it in her lap while she closed the safe and seat again. She sat Indian style and caressed the leather case. She opened it and removed the soft cloth that covered the ancient instrument. Without looking at Dobby she said. "This is a very rare object. It cannot be shrunk, expanded or in any way affected by magic or its voice will be broken."
Dobby asked, "It talks Misses?"
She looked at him and gave him a half smile. "Directly to the heart." She really couldn't resist now that she had touched it. "Maybe just a small demonstration?" She took the bow out and rosined and checked it over. Two quick touches on the strings and she closed her eyes and played. The tune was of her own making, it had never been written down. She didn't know how long she played but she felt the others enter her room. The music spoke of her longing for acceptance and someone who would understand her. She had written it the night before her first ride on the Express, just before meeting Harry.
When she put the bow down she slowly came back to reality. Harry was just in front of her, she knew that without opening her eyes. Her parents and Dobby were also present but further away. She whispered, more to herself than to him. "I've found you Harry. I've found acceptance."
She finally opened her eyes, cradling her instrument in her lap. Harry was sitting less than two feet away, Indian style, gaping like a fish out of water. She reached out and with her index finger closed his mouth and giggled.
"Wow! That, was magical." He finally stammered out.
She shrugged, "I gave up one magic for another one." She returned the Stradivarius to its case, covered it and slipped the bow into its slot. She closed and locked it away. "Dobby, as I said, no magic may touch this. Please?"
The little elf cradled the case, nearly as big as he was himself and he walked from the room.
"You're amazing, I can't think of anything else to say but that."
Her parents were sitting on her bed. They stood and patted her shoulders. Her mother said, "Thanks, I love hearing you play."
To which her father answered, "The world loves to hear her play Em." Together they walked from the room and downstairs.
"Why would you give that up?"
"For the same reason you would gladly give up your fame and fortune to have your parents back. Because no one but my family loved me for me, sure they loved the music but as good as it made me feel I didn't want to grow old alone. I had to find you, the person I could love, and would love me. Anything Harry, anything, for you. That's what I meant the other day at the lake."
He looked cute when he was confused. "But-" He stopped then said, "I thought you were talking about Riddle?"
She shrugged, "Because of you, I will help destroy him. My mission for the last six years has been to keep us alive." She looked down, ashamed, but she had to say this. "I almost gave up last year." She looked back at him. "After Sirius died and I was injured. I-" She looked at her hands again.
He shifted closer and touched her hands. "What?"
She couldn't look at him. "I nearly didn't go back to school." The tears finally fell when she admitted it. He surprised her by moving even closer and held her while she cried. It felt cleansing, one less secret between them.
A few minutes later he said. "But you didn't, you did come back."
She shook her head, still pressed against him. "I was useless. Maybe if I didn't support you, then you wouldn't be so reckless. But, that didn't work very well either." She looked up at him. "Don't you see? If I had helped you, then Dumbledore would still be alive! If I had thought that Kreacher could lie to you, then Sirius- It's all my fault Harry. All of it."
He squeezed her tighter. "No, no. Hermione, listen to me."
She had grown frantic but his words made her focus on him again. He looked so concerned.
"For years now you have been my guardian angel. My conscience speaks in YOUR voice! You, far beyond anyone else are the single reason I have been able to make it through these years. Without you I have no chance, none. With you then we, not me but we, will succeed. I know it. I feel it. There is no doubt in my mind. Somehow we will do this."
She hadn't broken his faith in her by ignoring him last year! Her heart swelled with hope. She smiled at him. He nearly kissed her then. She saw him move to then flinch back. The moment passed and he felt awkward. She reached up to his cheek. "We will Harry, we will and that is why I have to focus everything on this task. Keeping us alive and killing that monster is my priority. As I said, we live or die together Harry." She lifted herself up and kissed his cheek, just missing his mouth. "Go, I need to get this room sorted and you are still hungry."
He leaned down and kissed her cheek just as she had him then gave her a lopsided grin before getting to his feet and heading out.
Dobby popped back in just as Harry left. He said, "It's safe in the Potter vault misses. The Goblins called it a true treasure and placed an extra ward around the vault to prevent accidental magical surges from coming near it."
"Thank you." Standing she brushed off her jeans and looked around the room. "Ok get rid of the chairs, table and bed. That should give me room to work on the books."
The bed remained and Dobby asked, "You saids the beds should stay for tonight Misses?"
"I changed my mind on this one, take it away please."
"Yes Misses." The bed vanished. A small whirlwind swept around the room cleaning up dust bunnies and stray rubbish that had been lurking under the removed furniture.
She walked to her books and said, "If I tap a book put it in storage, the rest will need to be shrunk and stored in my school trunk."
"Yes Misses."
She began scanning her library. If a book dealt with a topic she could not categorize as even remotely important to the Horcrux hunt it went into storage. When she was done, a full hour later, she still had just over two hundred books to keep with her. She cleared her closet out next then went to work on the rest of her clothes. Most went to storage; she only took a weeks' worth of clothes. That had taken almost another hour. Need to get some new clothes soon; I'm outgrowing everything I own. She looked around her room, she dearly loved this room but it wouldn't help Harry so it had to be left behind for now. She quickly checked the items in her trunk, potions kit, and jewelry box were there.
She sighed to herself then sat on the floor and looked at Dobby, "Ok store the rest, only what's in the trunk stays behind."
"Yes Misses." He snapped his fingers and the room was clean. Only the nails sticking from the walls in seemingly random locations bore witness to its recent decorations.
"Put my trunk in the living room downstairs please." She didn't even see him gesture but her trunk vanished, "Thank you, you have been a tremendous help." She struggled to her feet again, it was getting late, probably past ten now. Only the downstairs remained to be packed.
Harry met her as she stepped from her room. He had a pile of clothes in his hand and a new toothbrush, "Hi." He looked past her into her barren room then held up the pile he was carrying. "Your dad gave me some of his clothes that were too small for him. I think they're all too big for me but at least they won't be nearly as bad as Dudders' tents."
She gestured at the bathroom across the hall from her door. "Go change, I've been practicing my tailoring spells, I'll see what I can do to get them closer. Tomorrow we'll go shopping after my parents head to Gatwick."
"I'm going to take a shower first, give me ten minutes or so."
She grinned wickedly, "Can I come along?"
He blushed furiously and bolted for the bathroom. She didn't move, even when the door slammed shut and she heard the latch thrown.
She giggled and walked to the door taking out her wand. She tapped on the door panel with her wand. "Mr. Potter, I'm a witch, mere locks cannot bar me."
"You wouldn't!" she heard some muttering from inside the bathroom. Finally he unlocked the door and poked his head out. He was still red with embarrassment, "Please?"
She finally took pity on him, "Well ok, since you said please." He looked relieved, "Seriously Harry, I was just joking."
He smiled finally, "You got me good there. I'll be out in a few minutes and you can tailor the clothes."
"All right, I'll only open this door if we get attacked, while you're naked."
He nodded. "Fair enough, I'll keep my wand with me inside the shower, just in case." He waited until she stepped away from the door before he closed it again.
She did not hear him throw the latch again. She waited until she heard the shower start before she turned and walked down the stairs. Interesting, what did it mean that he had not bothered to lock the door. Was that an invitation? Or his acceptance that she could bypass it without much of a thought? Tempted as she was to barge in she decided to leave him in peace for now. She found her parents in the dining room with Dobby, the room was bare. "Harry's in the shower upstairs, I'm going to get ready for bed. Harry and I will sleep on the couches downstairs, that way if anything happens we'll be down here already."
Her parents looked at her, her father said, "Well if you want to start roughing it already go ahead. I want to enjoy my waterbed for one final night."
Her mother said, "We're almost done packing the house. Just a bit left down here, is your room done?"
"Yes it's cleared out. Everything I'm taking is in my trunk. Thanks for getting Harry some clothes dad. We'll do some shopping once we deposit that check tomorrow morning." She turned to go to the living room, "I'll be back in a few minutes, going to change for bed while he's in the shower."
Five minutes later she was dressed in a long peach colored nightgown and what she had been wearing was in her trunk. The shower had stopped upstairs so she climbed the stairs again, wand in hand. "How's it going in there? You decent yet?"
"Good enough for now I guess." He pulled open the door. As she thought it had not been latched. He stood in a pair of worn blue jeans. His wand handle stuck up from the front right pocket. The pants were a few inches too big on his waist and he had folded up the legs a bit as well. He was holding the left side of the jeans to keep them from falling.
She was greatly distracted by his bare chest though. "Mr. Potter, I like what I see." His neck and cheeks turned pink. She stepped into the bathroom and put her hand flat onto his breastbone. He didn't flinch or move to stop her.
"You have me at a disadvantage Miss. Granger."
Now it was her turn to blush but she kept her hand on him and met his eyes. With the same wicked smile that had sent him running earlier she said, "I think it may be prudent to wait until we are in a more private location for that Mr. Potter."
This time he did take a single step backwards, breaking contact. "I didn't, Sorry. What I meant was that I have to hold my pants up. I was not asking for you to take your shirt off." She frowned, he looked concerned and stepped closer to her again, "Hermione!" He made her name sound like a plea for help. She was still frowning. He took another step closer to her and hugged her with his free arm.
She snuggled into his embrace and hugged him back. "Sorry Harry, sometimes-" She cut herself off but knew that wouldn't be allowed to go unchallenged. She pulled back and summoned her Gryffindor courage, "Sometimes I feel insecure about my body. If you don't want to see it, then well, you don't I guess." She tried to make that sound like a joke but he knew her too well.
He stepped back and put his hands on her shoulders, brushing her long hair back from her face as he did so. When she met his eyes he spoke, "Look, you know I'm not good at this. It's not that I don't have a desire to see you that way. It's just not the right time for me to think like that. Don't ever belittle yourself." He looked down and let out a sigh as he did. Then he yelped and jumped back pulling his pants back up.
He had used both hands to comfort her and had forgotten about his disadvantage. She laughed, "Nice boxers Mr. Potter. A gift from Dobby I presume?" He managed a nod, "Ok turn around. I'll fold over the back of the jeans at the waist and sew it together that should keep them up."
Obediently he turned and faced the shower. She grabbed the waist of the jeans and told him to put his arms at his sides. He let go of the pants, she put her wand in her mouth and used both hands to fold the thick material so it was not drooping. She held the fold with one hand and did a quick stitching charm holding it in place. She let go, "Ok how's that."
"Feels fine."
"A few more stitches to make it so it won't come loose." She put her fingers between his boxers and the jeans and made another dozen stitches to keep the folded material from looking too bulky. "That should do it then. How about the shirt?"
He pulled the shirt from the towel rack it had been draped over and threw it over his head, turning to face her as he did so. It was a simple pullover polo shirt, pale blue with the polo emblem on the breast. His broad chest filled the shirt out quite admirably.
"Not bad, two sizes too big I would guess but it'll go without any changes I think."
He looked in the mirror before answering with a simple smile.
"C'mon we're sleeping on the couches in the living room. You can even have the longer one." She turned and skipped down the stairs.
She heard him call after her, "Brushing my teeth, be right down."
Her parents were at the base of the stairs. Her father smiled broadly as he said, "We're going to bed. Just about everything is packed except for what we need for tonight. The rest can get stored tomorrow after we get up. I think Dobby left. He said something about checking on Winky."
"That's another house elf. We'll see you in the morning then." She gave both of her parents a hug and got kissed on both cheeks. She heard Harry coming down the stairs so she moved out of the way and into the living room. She barely heard her parents telling Harry goodnight. The second couch had been removed. The bigger one, which was a hide-a-bed had been pulled out. There was a single set of sheets and two pillows. She stood with her hand covering her mouth as Harry came in.
He asked softly, "I thought we were sleeping on the couches?"
She turned to him, "That was my intention. Either Dobby or my parents, likely my parents, decided on this arrangement."
"So your parents are pushing us together?"
She shrugged, "Well it was my father who gave me the advice to be as blunt as possible when explaining my feelings to you."
"Well I'm willing to try it. We will certainly have some nights that are much less comfortable than this in our searching." He pulled off the polo shirt and put on a white T-shirt from his trunk then sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off the jeans. This of course revealed the boxers from Dobby in all their red and yellow snitch covered glory. He had his back to her at the time but she watched him put his wand between the cushions of the couch, within easy reach in an emergency, then took his glasses off and put them atop his jeans on the floor.
Crookshanks came into the room and leapt onto their bed. He walked to the foot, nearest her. She scratched him behind the ears and he curled into a ball. He lifted his head up and licked her index finger twice before putting his head down and closing his eyes.
She walked to the other side of the bed and climbed under the sheet. She cast a quick, "nox", and then put her wand under her pillow. She shifted to her side and put her hand out to Harry. He was lying on his back just over a foot away so she rested her arm and hand on his chest. "Good night Harry."
She felt his answer in her hand as well as hearing it, "night."
She had always been able to sleep quickly, tonight was no exception. The next thing she remembered was waking to something landing on her. She struggled with it, shoving it from her before she realized it was Harry turning over in his sleep. She looked at him where he now laid, on his stomach, head facing the other way. He was still sleeping so she lay back down and went to sleep again.