All or Nothing
By cakeandmilk
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, O'Town, or the lyrics in this story. They belong to their respective authors/composers/singers.
Rating: G
Summary: Here is another fic from cakeandmilk's treasure chest! In the midst of writing a longer fic, a girl named DarkChoco nursed a plot bunny inside my head with the song "All or Nothing" by O'Town. Naturally, I would ignore the said plot bunny and went on with writing the longer fic. But I just couldn't. Hence, my first attempt at a song fic. I hate summaries, they ruin the surprise, but fine, I'll give one anyway: Ron and Hermione broke up and this is how Ron deals with it. A bit of a tissue warning because it is sad (for Ron anyway). (No major spoilers but post-DH without the crapilogue) H/Hr? Well, you guys decide.
A/N: Oh, please, please, read and review guys! I want feedback on how this story would strike H/Hr fans. Thanks so much to Elodie Tristie for beta-ing!
~*~*~*
His blue eyes stare straight ahead. His spot on the floor gives him a panoramic view of his room. Naturally, it is a mess. His stare flickered, then landed on the phone which lay beside him. His expression remained the same -shocked, relieved, rebellious, sombre, and angry.
It began as any other normal day would. He woke up, had breakfast, went to work at the Ministry, went home after six, and prepared for dinner with his girlfriend - like any normal day. But it turned out in a way he wasn't expecting. Or maybe, subconsciously, he was expecting it for some time. But this didn't quite ease him so he, in turn, gave into denial up until this very moment.
Half an hour before, his stare had often alternated between the wall and the phone, wishing it would ring. But nothing happened - the phone had remained silent. His stare never left the phone, but his eyes lost their focus.
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something some where's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older
"Do not make this harder for the both of us, Ron. I missed dinner, big deal," she said, voice shaking.
"That's why I'm making this easier, Hermione."
"By asking me to choose," she questioned, her voice climbing an octave higher.
Silence.
You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there?
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair
"He is gone, Hermione," Ron whispered. He flinched when he realized how wrong that statement had sounded.
"He is not dead, Ron! He is missing," she snapped.
"He is not here."
"Ron, I am really confused."
"Are you really?"
'Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
"Why do I have to choose?"
"Because that is the way it is. Because we both know it is a choice between me and him."
"How?!"
There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it
"Do you think of me, Hermione?"
He imagined her reeling from the sudden change of direction.
"Of cou-"
"As much as you think of Harry? As much as you fret over where he is? As much as you think of him every bloody minute of every bloody day even when I am the one you are with?" he continued, running over her sentence.
Silence, again.
"Then you've already made your choice," Ron accused.
"Harry is missing Ron. As his best friends, we have the duty to find him," she said. He could hear from the other end of the line that she was almost crying.
"He left, Hermione. It has been a year and I do not know if it is for good. Now I do not want it to be for good. But this, this can't go on. Let's face it, Hermione. Harry bested me at everything. At one point I thought that was not the case, because I have you. But now, even after he is gone, he still bested me on vying for the attention and affection of the woman I love."
She was openly crying at that moment.
"You know it's true," he whispered; his tone, surprisingly, not accusing, but more of accepting.
Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell
"I've made my choice, too, Hermione. I choose not to be on the sidelines any more. So, now, I'm offering you a way out. We cannot pretend any more like we are the perfect happy couple. Maybe once we were. We were. I want all of it, Hermione. Not just part of it."
"I-I'm sorry, Ron," she finally said.
"Right. Me, too," he said and turned off the phone, and he knew, this time, it really is over.
Staring at the phone now, he is seething with anger. He hated that bloody phone from the moment he bought it. Yes, he bought it when he learned that Hermione had one. He bought it so he could talk to her more often. But now, he hates it.
Their break-up was as simple as it could be. No shouting for a change. Drama is still present, because how unexciting it is without it? But it still wasn't easy, especially over the phone. Personally, he preferred doing it in person. Why? So, you can grovel and beg? he thought bitterly. No, so he can make it formal (oh! how naive he was), and he knew Hermione deserved more than just a phone call. But the situation presented itself when she failed to remember their 8th-time-postponed dinner because she was busy looking for Harry again.
On second thought, maybe it is better with the phone. At least he didn't see her while he was breaking her already broken heart because that would be painful, if not traumatic. And she didn't see him breaking his own heart. He supposed he should be proud of himself for handling the situation well and because he knew, deep down, it all boiled down to this anyway. Their relationship has reached a dead-end and it just so happened that he was the one who sealed that final lock of the box labelled "Ron and Hermione", which was destined not to be opened again. Now, he just needed to throw away the key. He was getting there.
Harry disappeared the night they were celebrating the 1st anniversary of Voldemort's death. No note, no goodbye. He just… disappeared. They, Ron and Hermione, knew that he wasn't kidnapped or anything like that. They often referred to it as going on a vacation. After a year, Harry wasn't back from his so-called "vacation". After a year of Hermione futilely searching for him, Ron had had enough.
'Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
He always thought Harry and Hermione had - and still has - something special, something even he can not fathom. No one can and ever will. He accepted the fact he could not understand it. Now, he realized he does understand it. He'd been trying to have that with Hermione for years. But he just couldn't.
Oh, yes, for a while the two of them had been happy. At least he had been happy. But lately he had just been miserable because she didn't and just couldn't give him what he desperately craved for-her whole heart. He knew why: because she gave it to Harry the moment the three of them met each other.
There. He was not in denial any more.
He stared at the phone, knowing it would not ring. That signalled it; he threw away that imaginary key.
And then the pain came. Finally, the tears fell.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N3: So, what do you think? Should I write a companion piece where Harry would return and H/Hr would have their happily ever after? If you think I should, better give me the details about how you guys want it to go. ;)
A/N4: Thank you to those who continue to read and review my other fics, especially "A Tune For His Music". That one was my baby and I am so proud many of you liked it. I appreciate it much. Please keep the reviews coming! Hugs and kisses.