Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe is not mine. The honour belongs solely to JK Rowling. But it's nice to borrow bits and pieces to create your own story. ïŠ
A/N: The epilogue for "All or Nothing". Treat this as redemption from my 5-months lack of updates. I'm really sorry about that. I want to present you with chapters that would blow your socks off and the writer's block delayed everything. But I think I'll manage to pull this one off. I hope. Heh. Okay, POV? You'll figure it out soon enough as you go along the story. You will find very few dialogues on the first part because this is more of an internal battle.
Angsty? Not quite. But there is bit sadness in there. Enjoy!
Thanks to Elodie Tristie for beta-ing! You've done wonders to my chapters.
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It begun with the simplest of intentions: to see. He didn't expect anything grand from it.
He became adamant to get what he wanted. And he wanted peace of mind. But it was difficult when he wanted to be away from the public eye.
His purpose was to see how the Wizarding world was faring. No, that would be lying. He already knew. His reasoning was more purely nostalgic.
He apparated at Hogsmeade, careful not to draw attention. He trudged the path towards the enchanted castle, his cloak tightly drawn around him; along with the tightness in his throat. He should have brought Hermione with him; she was good at blocking out the cold and the painful memories.
He reached the wrought iron gates of the vast castle grounds. After staring at the looming construction for five seconds, the gates opened for him.
His eyes automatically searched for Hagrid's hut. A smile bloomed across his face when he saw smoke billowing out of his half-giant friend's house. He debated whether or not an impromptu visit is in order. He decided that he thought better of it; soon, though, he and Hermione would visit their old friend.
Approaching the castle entrance, he was gripped with uneasiness. What if he wasn't ready for this? What if he'd regret coming here so soon? His hand shook when he reached for the door.
Throwing caution to the wind, he pushed open the door and, behold, his home for the better part of his life. He crossed the colossal threshold and slowly went up the grand staircase. Amazing. Hogwarts hadn't changed one bit. His chest constricted, not with pain but in excitement, as if he were his captivated 11-year old self again, experiencing Hogwart's grandeur and magic for the first time. Except this time, he knew the rooms he passed; he was familiar with the halls he wandered through; he was once again, back to a familiar home.
There must have been students around, as the flambeaus were dimly lit and there was an aura of life around; it was dramatically different compared to the ghostly castle his war-wounded mind remembered form the past years. To prove his suspicion correct, a little girl with a gold and red crest embellished on her robes rounded the corner. She stopped when she saw him. He was prepared for her to gape at his scar. He stared at her and she blinked, her blue eyes growing wider. Just as he expected her to squeal or giggle or launch herself at him, she smiled brightly and shifted the books in her hand before shyly scurrying away, leaving him totally confused. Somehow the little girl reminded him of an 11-year old Hermione Granger, all books and smiles.
He smiled, rather belatedly, and continued down the hallway until he reached a landing. With his heart pounding, he climbed the stairs and upon reaching the top, pushed open the door. After three years, he was standing, once again, at the famous Hogwarts' Astronomy Tower.
Peering over the railing, he saw the vast grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was a glorious day and students were milling about, though only a few of them wandered across his line of sight. He looked further away and spotted Dumbledore's tomb basking gloriously in the sunlight's glimmer. There was an… emptiness around the tomb. As if it were part of its own world, secluded from what was surrounded it. There was a fairly large space around the tomb that students, unconsciously, avoid. A couple would wander towards it before turning to the other direction, as if warned away by their subconscious. It looked to him as if the grave site was repelling attention.
Except for one lone student. And another, he thought when a second student approached the grave and plopped down beside his companion. He could not make out their faces. Harry wondered if those two faces had witnessed the horror that befell upon these grounds first-hand.
Shaking his head lightly, he pushed his hands forward until it touched the rail. Blood rushed to his ears. There was a distinct pounding, accompanied by pictures and images, dusty and unwelcome as it intruded his thoughts.
Albus Dumbledore died here; Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Colin Creevey, and countless others died fighting in these grounds. Lives grabbed too soon by the wrath of Tom Marvolo Riddle. The weight that was lifted from his shoulders three years ago suddenly crashed down back at him, rendering him confused.
Death that had surrounded his life for the past eighteen years weighed down heavily on his burdened mind.
"It wasn't your fault, Harry," she coos as she showers his tense and sticky face with kisses, "None of it was."
He knew he should have believed it. Not only because it was true - despite how many times he denied it - but also because it came from Hermione. But his mind came to a constant relapse whenever he tried to convince himself. Hermione managed to break through these walls of guilt.
In reality, he does believe it. But he couldn't escape the notion that he was too late - not late enough to let Voldemort kill more people, but definitely late enough to save those people's lives. He couldn't live that down until Hermione suggested he find closure by returning to Hogwarts. And there he was, standing in the Astronomy Tower, coming to terms with sadness and defeat.
He talked to them, asking how they were and whether they were happy. He imagined Fred cracking a loud joke and everyone around him laughing heartily. He thought of Sirius teasing him for proposing to Hermione lousily. "Then again, you are a Potter," he would say. He imagined Remus and Tonks giving him a huge grin and a thumbs up for giving their son a loving family. And then he imagined his parents, smiling wonderfully at him, their faces lit up with pride and love as they say "Well done, son." And Albus Dumbledore would be behind them, his eyes saying it all, twinkling like they always use to.
Harry's eyes began to well up with tears and a huge smile break out of his face. He was free, at last.
"Well, if it isn't Harry Potter," a voice said jovially behind him.
He turned around to see Ron, standing at the entrance to the Astronomy Tower. His hands enclosed those of a little girl. Harry looked at her and realized she was the child that had seen him earlier.
Bending down, Ron whispered to the little girl. She nodded, and after giving Harry another smile, she left the two gentlemen. Harry turned back to the view and Ron stood at his side staring out as well.
A few minutes passed before Ron broke the silence. "For good?"
"Yes," Harry answered, feeling a smile break out of his face. Ron nods. The sun's violent orange rays outline the horizon, giving everything a peacefully fiery glow.
"The sun sets," Ron started. "Like it always does. So it can rise at other places, right?"
Harry glanced at him, unsure of where he was going. "Yes." Ron looked back at him, a bit uncertain himself. "Look, I'm not good at this poetry stuff like Hermione, so you'll just have to try to get what I'm saying."
He turned his attention back towards the setting sun. "I think it goes away to another place, so that it can see different people… different things. So that it can take a break from one place, and enjoy another. It may take awhile, but," he looked at Harry, "it always comes back. It has to."
"Like me," Harry said.
"Like you," Ron affirmed. "You came back, mate. You always do. And I'm glad."
Harry smiled and hugged Ron in an awkward, brotherly grasp. "Thanks, mate. I look at you as my brother. You know that, right?"
Ron grinned. "Nah. You're too much of a tosser to be my brother." Harry laughed. "And Ginny would have a fit if she realizes she once snogged her `brother'." Harry laughed again, more heartily.
"How is she?" Harry asks.
"Better now that she has ferret boy wrapped around her finger." Both boys grinned. "How's Hermione?"
"Good. Same as she's always been."
"You mean bossy and constantly worrying, like she's always been?"
"I heard that, Ronald Weasley."
Harry and Ron turned around to see a beaming Hermione. She laughed, tears streaming down her face as she launch herself at her boys, who hugged her just as fiercely.
She let go of Harry and hugged Ron more tightly. Harry beamed, feeling happiness and pride eating at his heart. He had his entire life back.
"Oh God, I missed you so much, Ron," Harry heard her whisper to the grinning redhead. For a moment, he saw longing in those blue eyes, as if he regretted everything that didn't happen between him and the girl in his arms. But then the longing turned into gratefulness and determination - determination to make the friendship the three of them shared worthy of forever.
"Of course you do. Where else will you find such an awesome best friend like me?" Ron let go of her and wryly pointed at Harry. "He can't even compete."
"Oi!"
Hermione laughed and hugged her best friend again.
"And you." She turned to Harry. "Finally!" He caught her just as she lavished him with all her attention, kissing him passionately. Harry was happy to oblige.
"Get a room!"
Hermione turned to Ron, her smile wicked. "So, Ron, I talked to Luna earlier and I heard the most interesting thing."
Harry sniggered as his best mate turned redder than his hair.
"Yeah," Ron said nonchalantly. "You see, we're taking care of this little girl. You saw her before, Harry."
"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed wickedly. "And you're with kid," Harry supplied, much to Ron's discomfort.
"No, no! She's-uh-she's Luna's cousin's daughter," he stammered, but stopped when he saw his best friends laughing.
"Sod off, you lot. What Luna and I have is…" He looked for something to say when upon looking at his best friends, he concluded "something the two of you will understand." Harry and Hermione beamed at him as Ron dragged them from the Astronomy Tower. Finally, indeed.
It had begun with the simplest intentions: to see, to hear, to acknowledge. He ended up with more - and yet, he ended up with everything, rather than nothing.
Harry Potter gave way to happiness as it consumed him.
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A/N: There. The trio's happy ever after. You like it? I wrote this in the middle of my Physics lecture stave off sleepiness.
I never got around introducing the pair of children who braved Dumbledore's tomb. That's because I want to leave that up to you. Whoever you fancy them to be, then so be it.
Thank you for sticking by me throughout the story. This is the first non-one shot I have ever written and you can see how it turned out. Not bad, I hope.
I have written another story, but it's a two-shot. It's entitled "The Portkey". I will upload it as soon as my beta's done with it.
Paalam!
-c&m
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