Tick. Toc. Tick. Toc.
It reverberated through Harry's head, every second echoing in his ears as the big hand on the almost ominous clock never stopped moving. It wasn't as if Harry honestly expected it to stop, but he rather wanted it to. He wanted some outward knowledge that someone knew of his pain, he wanted the world to stop and the people to take notice. Harry had just lost his love and best friend to their mutual other best friend.
He shifted uncomfortably in the chair, staring straight ahead as people began to gather. He couldn't bear to look around or find Ron, as the pain and guilt all rushed through him at once. Harry was supposed to be Ron's best man.
The best man is not supposed to be unhappy on the day. Not supposed to hide away until the designated time of ceremony. He's not supposed to kiss the bride the day before the wedding.
It seemed as if Harry had committed the ultimate betrayal, and for that he could not even look Ron in the eyes. Guilt assailed him every time.
Although, he had not intended to kiss Hermione when he had asked her over the night before. He hadn't even intended on revealing his feelings; Harry was only going to ask how she was. If she was nervous, if everything was ready, etc..
His duty as the best man… but it then the realisation hit him like a ton of bricks, and he finally knew that Hermione was really getting married. He would never kiss her, love her, marry her.
And that was prompted the kiss -- his realisation. Hermione had responded for a moment, and it was amazing what one can feel in a single moment. The thoughts and emotions that can well; the unbelievable and overwhelming feelings. But, of course, she had pulled away.
Harry sank lower in his chair. He was sitting in the church Hermione had insisted on the wedding being in, as she wanted to make it as normal as possible for her relatives, even if she wasn't the most religious person. Harry could understand that in some way.
The church wasn't elaborately decorated, despite Molly's original plans. Hermione had put simple bunches of flowers at the end of each row, with lily's, rose's and many other flowers in each one.
Ron was in one of the church rooms getting ready and preparing himself, and although Harry should be there with him, he figured Ron had enough people with Neville, his brothers and his father. Harry suddenly felt very spiteful and resentful, and got an overpowering urge to get an alcoholic drink. He should have had some before the came to the church.
People were beginning to filter through the church doors, coming in groups and pairs. He didn't dare look back and meet their eyes. He recognised some of the voices, but Harry gave them no recognition. He remained seated at the top of the church, silently pleading for everyone to sit down the back.
He briefly wondered what he was even doing here when every moment was killing him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to marry Hermione, not Ron. They were all supposed to be friends and Ron was supposed to end up with Luna. He wondered where Luna was; the poor girl was probably torn up, too. Unrequited love was the worst thing one could experience, in Harry's opinion. He could barely stand to see Hermione and Ron marry; to see her look at him with her warm, brown eyes in a loving gaze and say, "I do."
He couldn't do it.
"Harry? Harry, there you are! I thought you'd be with Ron. Are you okay?"
"You look a bit green there, Harry."
Harry glanced up to see Seamus and Lavender standing over him, looking at him with expressions of expectancy and curiosity. They were not dating, but just attended the wedding together. Harry blinked.
More and more people were arriving, and just as Harry contemplated running through the church doors, Lavender and Seamus spoke again.
Lavender; "Harry? Harry, are you sure you're okay? I'll g--"
"There's Ron! Ron, mate, how're you feeling?" Seamus smiled brightly at Ron, clapping the man on the back.
Ron gave him a strained smile, and it was evident he was beyond nervous. "Nervous.. Definitely nervous.."
Lavender gave him a soft smile, "Don't worry, Ron. Everything will go according to plan."
According to plan… Harry stood up then, and quickly backed away from the three. Ron turned to him, frowning, "What are you doing, Harry? Where have you been, by the way? I was searching everywhere for my best man!" He laughed.
This wasn't right. Why was Ron laughing? It wasn't funny, and nothing about the day was happy, fun or even remotely good. Harry shook his head, trying to calm himself.
He couldn't watch Ron marry Hermione. He just couldn't.
A part of Harry screamed at himself, reminded Harry all that they had done for him. But he just wasn't brave enough; Harry, the so-called great Gryffindor, wasn't brave enough. It was painful enough to know it was happening, but he definitely couldn't watch it.
"I'm sorry, Ron," He sounded hoarse to his own ears, and was sure his expression was one of apology and anguish. "Sorry." He then turned and ran from the church, ignoring the curious stares and Ron's shouts along the way. He heard footsteps follow, too, but before they could reach him, he apparated.
Harry wasn't going to be around when Hermione and Ron promised forever to each other.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The wind was strong, and it blew his hair and tux wildly as Harry trekked through the grass in the field. His feet dragged along, as if they weighed two tons. His eyes were squinted against the gale force wind, and the tree's blew fiercely in front of him. Harry stopped and began to wonder what he was doing.
What was he doing there? What was the point it? Was he going to say goodbye to Hermione and Ron forever? No, he definitely couldn't go without seeing them for the rest of his life. But how could they possibly understand why he ran? Or at least, how could Ron possibly understand.
He let out a small roar of frustration, kicking the grass as he did so. He had left the church over ten minutes ago, and the whole time had had only questioned himself. Was he doing the right thing? He knew, in his heart of hearts, that Hermione was going to be upset and disappointed with him. Harry hated upset and disappointed Hermione, which is probably why she was the voice of his conscience in school -- he usually wanted to do what was right by her, in order for her not to feel completely disappointed.
Harry sighed, what was he going to do?
They were his best friends, the best anyone could ever find; they faced death with him, they camped out in horrible conditions and ate rank food during the horcrux hunt, they helped in recover after the war, they were with him for every single hurtle and fall.
He couldn't leave them on their big day. He couldn't abandon them.
But it was Hermione. In Harry's mind, she was his Hermione, and truly wasn't supposed to marry Ron. It didn't really matter how much he told himself that, though.
A patronus' hare suddenly appeared in front of him, and Harry frowned, even though he instantly knew whose patronus it was.
"Harry, it's me, Luna. I've been looking for you everywhere, where are you? W-we're.." It was Luna that was stuttering or breaking off, but there seemed to be a problem with her patronus. Harry strained to make out what she was saying, "I'm at the church.. Her-Hermione's she's not shown up y…. Ginny checking if she's in… can't find…" The patronus then began retreating as Harry followed it, begging it to go on and repeat what it said, even though he knew his shouts would be futile.
Harry stopped then as his chest heaved and he tried to catch his breath, "I--I don't understand.." He spoke aloud, "Did she marry Ron?" Harry's mind immediately began racing, formulating a plan to get to the church and look for Hermione without being seen or spotted by any friends or family. He glanced one last time around the park, and then turned to make his way towards the exit.
He halted in his steps as soon as he turned.
Hermione stood behind him, mascara running down her face and her wedding dress trailing behind her. Her hands were hanging by her sides as she looked at him with a trembling lip, her brown eyes filling with such sorrow and something Harry could not distinguish.
Her hair was caught up in an elaborate twist, with a few strands falling out of the bun. One fell over her eye, and Harry had a compulsive urge to brush it back. Her make-up was natural, and Harry thought her skin looked to be glowing.
Her wedding dress was cream and simple; strapless, and straight down to the floor. There was a train behind her, but it wasn't overly long.
She whispered then, very softly, "I couldn't do it."
Harry took a small step towards her, his heart beginning to beat faster as the minutes wore on, "Why?" He needed to hear her say it. Needed to know that the hope now blooming inside of him was not unwarranted.
There was a small pause in which Harry stopped before her, gazing into her eyes as he tried to read her thoughts and what she was about to say. Hermione tilted her head so she could look up at him, a small smile flourishing, "Because I love you, Harry Potter."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Someone once said that love is when the other persons happiness is more important than your own. I can identify with that.
I could almost feel it happening before it did; I could sense it unravelling before my eyes. The epic that was to become the Potters.
I should have known that they would end up together. Not because he was the 'Chosen One', or because he was filthy rich and globally famous. It was because it was Harry, and the woman was Hermione.
The one woman I knew didn't love Harry for the fame, fortune and name. It was because they put each other before everyone else, because they understand each other more than I ever could -- even I, a friend of many, many years -- because I don't think either could go on if the other didn't, because it was brewing from the moment they met up until the point they fell in love.
I feel as if I was almost blind; how I didn't recognise it before. I knew how they looked at each other, how they looked ahead together.
But when the time came around, I somehow knew. There was no startling realisation or lashing out at Hermione…. I just seemed to know. The question how will always serve to baffle me.
I had been stood up at the altar. It's not something anyone wants to have on their personal CV, but after the initial hurt, I understood. After all, love is about putting the other first. I couldn't hold Hermione hostage for her love, I couldn't resent her and Harry for the rest of my life. They deserved each other more than anyone else.
Which is probably why I didn't react when Hermione requested a meeting with me five minutes before the wedding was scheduled. I realised what was happening when I stepped into the room and she allowed me to see her in her wedding dress.
Her eyes gave her away. Although she tried to keep her face blank, there was such a sadness in her eyes that even I noticed it. And then she was pouring out words that I didn't want to understand, but it all translated to one thing; I'm in love with Harry. I'm nearly sure I recognised what she was saying before she did.
I told her to go.
I put her happiness before my own; because I love her. She's my bossy, fiery, passionate and bushy-haired best friend, and she always will be. I may not be in love with her anymore, but I still love her as I would love family.
Harry was my brother in everything but blood, and what was blood? Not literally, obviously. Harry deserved to have love, definitely more than anyone I know.
That's why I remained friends with them; why I stood at the altar next to Harry one year later as he married Hermione; why I accepted the role of godfather to their son two more years on; why I didn't hold what they did against them forever.
Hermione and Harry are written in the stars, and it didn't take Luna to tell me that. (Perhaps it did, actually, but we needn't get into that..)
The point is, no matter how my first wedding day turned out, I'm not sad. Because I had witnessed the beginning of the Potters epic romance…
And watched my own flourish.
Love is about putting the others happiness first; and there is no finer example than that of Hermione, Harry and I.
I, older, much more mature, wiser, Ronald Weasley, will stand by Harry and Hermione no matter what. Because love is about putting others happiness first.
….Even if I'm perfectly happy with my own Loony Lovegood.
~*~*~*~*~
Thank you so much to all who reviewed, you have truly made my day! My first story here and it got good responses J Thank you.
Also, I realise this may be slightly OOC, but again, I'll leave it up to you to decide. I wanted a Ron-friendly fic here, too, which is why Ron is as he is at the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own the Scientist, which in fact belongs to Coldplay.
And finally, I do not own:
H. Jackson Browne
Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your
own.
As it belongs to the author in bold J
Reviews appreciated greatly,
xCNx