Unofficial Portkey Archive

Harry Potter and Afterlife Inc by dunuelos
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Harry Potter and Afterlife Inc

dunuelos

Harry Potter reviewed the last several hours in his head. He was well on his way to fixing several of the problems that he had started with when he had visited Bob. Larry had been right; Bob was one sneaky bastard.

The plans that he had enacted with Bob's suggestions for the resurrection of Voldemort had worked to a tee. Voldemort had returned, but with a hideously malformed body. He didn't have his wand and until he could get to a wandmaker that wouldn't lock him out as he wouldn't have one to force his way in.

Voldemort could not take the chance of collecting his followers until he had a wand and a glamour charm and that still didn't handle the deformed arms. He might take a chance with killing himself again but would have to wait for another follower to find him.

The marked death eaters would have felt the Dark Mark reforming would be on edge when they hadn't been called immediately. Which would make them very nervous as Voldemort was not one to wait to glory in his power over others. That they hadn't been called could mean that he was unhappy with them and was making plans to make his displeasure felt.

He had gotten Crouch and Wormtail caught and questioned under Veritaserum with Amelia as witness before Fudge could hush it up or interfere with his dementor guard. As a bonus, he had Sirius questioned at the same time and his release was impossible to avoid in front of so many witnesses.

He had hamstrung Dumbledore's plan for his demise by walking in front of a Killing Curse; Dumbledore had obviously been changing his mindset when Harry had been dismissed.

He had taken the opportunity to blackmail Rita Skeeter earlier than expected. He knew he would have the chance, he didn't think it would be this quick.

And, best of all, he had asked Hermione to be his girlfriend and received enthusiastic agreement. The kiss he had shared with Hermione after Poppy Pomfrey had incarcerated him in the infirmary once again was sweet and held the promise of more to come. Even the Hospital Wing's dungeon mistress couldn't help but smile when she had seen the interaction of the two teens after his examination.

Hermione had left afterwards with a promise to keep things to herself until the whole story broke and attention would be diverted. Harry had promised to make it up to her after convincing her that he was not ashamed at all to have her as a girlfriend. Hermione, rational girl that she was, could see the arguments that he had made had validity and was intrigued by his promise. Snogging Harry had made it to the top of her list of favorite activities, even above studying one year ahead in her texts. A shopping spree to a bookstore might be the only activity that would tie for the top spot.

Harry hoped to avoid a confrontation with the Weasleys until after the whole Mutant Spiderman being Resurrected thing had been sorted out with the Ministry and press. Even if they didn't actually announce it, now trustworthy people in positions of authority knew the truth and that would mean he could hopefully avoid the constant harassment he had endured all of fifth year. There were no guarantees though. So he would have to see how much he couldn't avoid and plan for it.

He'd have to get Sirius to take a Wizenmagot seat sooner rather than later.

Harry fell asleep in the infirmary, visions of wild exciting hair and chocolate eyes filling his dreams.


The next morning he woke up early. Madam Pomfrey bustled over to him and started waving her wand over him. He waited for the diagnosis. Poppy pronounced him fit if he would ensure that he got sufficient rest over the next several days. Harry waited until Cedric had been checked out also, so they could walk out of the infirmary together. Anything to deflect attention on himself was a good thing. As they left the infirmary, Harry told Cedric that announcements would be made at lunch and to keep the aftermath to himself until after that. He had reaffirmed that they had tied for the win and asked Cedric if he would tell people about the maze. Harry figured if Cedric told people, they would fawn over him instead.

Cedric knew Harry enough by now to realize that eternal glory wasn't his thing. They talked about not mentioning details about what happened at the cup and to refer people to Professor Dumbledore and Amelia Bones.

Harry made his way to the Gryffindor Common Room and saw that no one was up yet except Hermione who was sitting by the fire reading a book and looking happy.

As Hermione looked up, she saw Harry come into the common room and with a quick look to make sure they were alone still she ran over and kissed him with enthusiasm. Harry laughed and hugged her for a moment.

"How are you doing? How is Cedric? Did you get cleared by Madam Pomfrey to leave the infirmary?"

"I was paroled for good behavior and am under probation to rest sufficiently for the next few days. Cedric is fine and also was released. And how are you today, my lovely bookworm?"

Hermione smiled at him. Unlike Ron, when he made jokes about her reading, Harry's comments had no derision whatsoever. All Hermione could say was, "Happy. Totally and completely happy."

"Well, love, I am going to shower and head to breakfast. Would you like to come with me? You think you can keep the glow to a minimum for the last few days of this term?"

Hermione laughed and nodded enthusiastically. They headed up to their respective dormitories to get ready for the day.


When Harry got to his room, he saw that the other people in the room were stirring. Neville saw him and let out a shout. "Harry! How are you? What happened?"

Neville's shout got the attention of the rest of the dorm, except Ron who slept through it. "Here. Let me wake up the noise machine and I'll tell you what I can." Harry got an idea. He moved close to Ron's bed, moved his mouth close to his ear (but not close enough to get hit if Ron moved suddenly) and yelled out, "BACON AND EGGS!!"

Ron jumped in bed and looked around. He saw Harry and the rest of the dorm laughing their heads off. "Hey Mate. Thanks for the wakeup call? How are you?"

"Well, as I was about to tell these other fine gentlemen, I'm okay, I've been released by the Mistress of the Infirmary and it has been confirmed that I tied with Cedric for the win."

"Wow. That's great! Just think of how the rest of the school will react when they found out you won. You'll be able to bag any bird!" Harry just shook his head. Ron would never get it. Harry headed off to the shower to get ready. As he was the most alert he was the first one done and headed down to meet up with Hermione.

As they arrived at the great hall, he could see that there were few students who had arrived yet. As the hall filled up, the stares he received were becoming annoying. As Cedric entered the Hall, everyone moved their attention to him as he walked over to Harry to clap him on the back. "How are you doing, my fine Co-Champion?"

Everyone looked at them with surprise on their face.

"I'm doing well, my esteemed Co-Champion. Maybe you could regale our fellow students regarding our victory!"

Cedric laughed and agreed. As he moved over to the Hufflepuff table, most of the students followed him to hear the details.

Ron, who had arrived just before, looked at him perplexed, not understanding why he hadn't given to details to everyone himself. When the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons contingents arrived, Harry made it a point to get up and walk over to Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour and find out how they were doing congratulate them on competing well.

Viktor looked at Harry and could see that Harry was not throwing his win in his face but was genuine. "I am vell. Congratulations on a nice vin." Harry chatted with Viktor for a moment and then moved to Fleur. Fleur also could see that Harry was genuinely concerned and was not affected by her Veela allure. They chatted for a few minutes until Fleur was distracted all of a sudden. Harry looked over and laughed to himself as he saw Bill Weasley enter with his mother.


Harry moved over to the Weasleys preparing himself for the over-enthusiastic mothering that was coming. Ron, the twins and Ginny joined her as she greeted Harry with a sob and her overbearing manner. Hermione looked on shaking her head.

"Oh, Harry! How are you doing? It was just TERRIBLE what happened last night? Are you hurt? What happened?"

Harry, after he escaped her arms, told her that there would be announcements at lunch but that she could get the details from Professor Dumbledore as he himself had been asked to keep it quiet until after the announcements. Let the barmy codger deal with Mrs. Weasley's harping for a while.

The twins congratulated him enthusiastically as they had heard a rumor that he had tied with Cedric. Ginny hugged Harry and congratulated him, holding the hug a little too long. Hermione narrowed her eyes when she saw that. She could see that it wasn't Harry's fault. She started making plans to discourage a certain red-headed fangirl.

As the rest of the Weasley brood moved off, Bill could see from the evasive answers and the tenseness of the few professors present that that something was up. He made a judgment call and quietly asked Harry to speak to him sometime this morning. Harry could see that Bill was trying to be discreet and nodded to him as Bill moved off to congratulate Cedric.


After breakfast, Harry left to meet with Sirius and Dumbledore, after letting Hermione know what was happening. Hermione had invited him to stay at her house that summer if she could get permission from her parents. Harry thought that this fell right into his plans for the summer and agreed enthusiastically, making plans in his head to get Dumbledore to agree. Hermione asked permission to use Hedwig to send a message off to her parents. As Harry assented, Hermione had torn off to the owlery to send the message before her trip to the Library to revise for her remaining exams. She invited Harry to come and find her when he was free.

Harry knew that the exams were being completed over the next few days although he didn't have to attend. He thought he might take some of the exams anyway, but any excuse to avoid Snape and Trelawney shouldn't be ignored.

Although, he thought, with the two years extra of potions under his belt taking the potions exam anyway wouldn't be difficult and it would stick in Snape's craw a bit. Snape, he now knew, really was on the side against Voldemort, but he still was a miserable bastard; Harry decided to be overly respectful to annoy the greasy git. After a year in a tent and battling with Voldemort, Snape didn't even come close to being as annoying as he used to think he was.


Harry entered Dumbledore's office to meet up about what was to happen.

"Ah, my boy, please come and have a seat. I was discussing with Sirius your summer accommodations.

"Oh, good. Anything to get away from Durzkaban."

"My boy, some caution needs to be employed. As I was explaining to Sirius, there are good and sufficient reasons for you to spend some time each summer at home with your relatives."

"By Merlin, why would I want to do THAT? I absolutely HATE it there. I haven't considered that place home for the last three years!" Harry yelled out. It was still part of the plan. Harry had learned in his past life that stating it wasn't his home would have negative side effects on the wards which after all only protected the property and his "relatives" and not really himself.

Albus looked at him in shock as Sirius looked at Albus with a vindicated smirk on his face. At the same time, one of the instruments on one of the shelves in the office let off a puff of black smoke which died away.

"NOW, Albus, will you listen to me? If I have a choice, Harry will never set foot in that place at all." Albus just shook his head, wondering what calamity would happen next.

"Very well. We shall have to find some alternate accommodations for the first two weeks of the holiday until the paperwork can be submitted to the Ministry and Sirius has made arrangements. Possibly the Weasleys?"

"Well, if it's all the same to you, Hermione has invited me over to her house this summer. She has owled her parents to get permission. If she does, can wards be set up at her house to keep her and her family protected while I am there?"

Sirius replied with a whistle. "Moving fast, pup!" Harry just blushed and looked at his godfather with a withering stare. Sirius laughed. "If her parents agree, I'll contact Gringott's to set up wards on her property. I have to go there anyway to sort out my status after being declared free by the Ministry." Albus wanted to object, as he didn't want anyone to know where Harry would be other than himself and those he trusted, but even he had to concur that Goblin-made wards were possibly the best choice with what time they had available. He himself would be too busy to cast the wards. As long as he was keyed in, goblin wards would suffice.

"If I could suggest, please keep your whereabouts known to as few people as possible. With the return of Voldemort, even with his ... limitations ... it would be best if as few people as possible knew where you will be residing at any given moment."

Harry happily agreed. This meant that he wouldn't have to tell Ron or the Weasleys and that he could get a number of issues resolved before dealing with the blowup.

"Sirius, can I speak to you privately for a moment?"

Albus explained that he had to make arrangements for his next meeting and that they could speak privately in his office for a few moments before Albus and Sirius could plan the rest of the arrangements.

Harry watched Albus leave the office, and erected a Muffliato charm. Sirius raised his eyebrows at Harry. He didn't know that Harry knew this spell; it wasn't very common.

Harry looked at Sirius with a laugh and explained, "I don't know if Professor Dumbledore has any monitoring charms set on his office, and what I have to ask you is VERY quiet. It has to do with a good prank." He watched Sirius his face lit up at the thought that his godson was continuing with the tradition of the Marauders. "I have a request and an investment opportunity that I would like you to take." Sirius looked surprised.

"Investment opportunity? What is it, how much and why don't you invest yourself?"

Harry grinned at him as he replied, "Well, considering the people involved worship the ground the Marauders walk on, I thought that it would mean more if it came from you. It's for a joke shop. The people are geniuses and will make you A LOT of money."

Sirius looked very excited, more about the pranks than the money.

"Well, after your pardon is announced, I want you to meet my friends, Fred and George Weasley, better known as Gred and Forge ...."


A/N: Well, so many things are happening in such a short time that it's hard to write a chapter that includes the idea "And time moved forward." Harry has a lot of plans and it required a lot of setup. The announcements and the Daily Prophet are coming soon. The meeting with Bill will definitely take place, and Harry has to avoid the other redheads. Also, another friend gets a little bit of a boost ....