A/N: I wasn't looking for the title of the story I mentioned, I was actually looking for any Harry/Hermione werewolves fics. I dropped the story because the author involved Daphne Greengrass because I'm not a Harry/Hermione multi fan. My apologies for not being clearer.
~~~ Chapter 1: Madness ~~~
Hermione Granger sighed as she stood in front of the door that led the way to Grimmauld place. It had been a year since Harry's death…it was the anniversary of Harry's death. She could keep telling herself that but she couldn't quite believe it. Shaking her head, she brought herself back to reality and stepped closer to the door, curling her hand around the door knob before hesitating for a moment.
It hasn't just been a year since Harry's death; it's been a year since she left. After remembering the promise she made to Harry, she left, leaving only a letter to her parents saying that she had to leave. She came back two weeks ago, surprising her parents who were torn between being furious and worried sick for their daughter. They had demanded answers but she had told them nothing, only that she had to leave.
Now she was going to face the Order, Ron and Ginny after a year of no contact. She knew Ron would be furious, he tends to get that way. Ginny would be worried; she had a big heart, just like her mother. Mind made up, Hermione twisted the doorknob and the door gave way, allowing her to open the door. She stepped into the hallway as carefully as she could without alerting Mrs Black, the bigoted pureblood who was stuck in a painting.
Coming down the hallway with a silver plate, no doubt getting dinner ready was Mrs Weasley. Hermione looked at her for a moment, she had lost weight and her blue eyes didn't twinkle as much as it used to. Obviously the loss of Harry and Hermione and the threat of Voldemort had weighed heavily on her. Hermione closed the door softly but it was enough to attract Molly's attention and she lifted her head to see Hermione standing in the doorway.
Molly stared at her, dumbstruck with her knuckles turning white from where it was clenched around the sliver plate.
"Hi," Hermione broke the silence. Tears filled Molly's eyes as she dropped the plate, which landed on the ground with a loud clatter, and rushed over toward the young woman, bundling her up in a hard hug. The sound of the plate dropping had drawn the attention of the members of the Order along with Ron and Ginny. All of them looked stunned to see Hermione wrapped up in Molly's arms.
Molly took a step back once she has managed to convince herself that Hermione wasn't a dream and going to fade away, she wiped her tears away, smiling shakily at Hermione, who gave her a strained smile back. It felt odd to smile…she hadn't smiled since Harry.
"Hermione?" the youngest Weasley stepped forward, her brown eyes wide in disbelief. She had truly believed that Hermione wouldn't come back, not that she could blame her. That broke the daze that had settled on everyone and soon everyone was embracing Hermione in a hug, asking her where she had been and why hadn't she come to them.
Hermione was beginning to feel dizzy with all of the questions when Dumbledore broke them up.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please, give Miss Granger some room to breathe," he called to them. Startled, everyone took a step back when Molly decided on something.
"Come along everyone, dinner is nearly ready," she informed them, ushering them into the kitchen. Dumbledore stopped Hermione from following them.
"Miss Granger, would you come with me into the study?" Dumbledore asked. Hermione nodded and followed him as he led the way into the study. Once they entered, he shut the door behind them and gestured to the seats. Hermione took one and he took the other one across from her. Both of them sat in silence until Dumbledore broke it. "Where have you been?" Dumbledore asked. Hermione shrugged.
"Around," she said; her voice barely higher than a whisper. "I had to leave. I couldn't face Hogwarts without…" tears filled her eyes and she looked off to the side. Dumbledore felt his heart hurt for the young woman before him. He knew how close Harry and Hermione had been. No matter what, his death would have had the hardest impact on her, more than any other person Dumbledore knew.
"I am not angry," he assured her and she looked at him. "I was just worried. You left without a note so naturally, some people believed you had been kidnapped, and others thought you killed yourself. I took a chance and thought you had left in attempt to come to terms with…" he trailed off. Even though it had been a year for him and he had seen so many deaths before, Harry's death was still hard for him to believe.
"It's been a year…today," she whispered and Dumbledore nodded. Everyone knew it was the anniversary but no one had wanted to acknowledge the pink elephant in the room. It was better to bury their head and pretend they still had a chance.
"I was wondering…have you kept up to date with the wizarding world?" he asked and Hermione shook her head.
"No, I didn't want any part of it until I had properly grieved. I just travelled. I guess I was lucky that I hadn't been attacked by the Death Eaters," Hermione told him. Dumbledore just stayed silent before he stood up.
"You'd best go. Molly is hovering in the doorway," he told her with trace of amusement in his voice. Hermione gave a short nod as she got up and left the study, meeting Mrs. Weasley in the hallway.
Dumbledore watched her leave with a pensive look on his face. He needed to find out where she had been during the year she had been missing. It was imperative.
~_HxH_~
"Are you hungry?" Molly asked as she led Hermione into the kitchen where her family were, apart from Percy, and most of the Order.
"No, I ate before I came here," Hermione assured Molly. "My parents didn't want me to go without eating something." Molly nodded.
"Would you like something to drink?" the elderly woman asked. Hermione shook her head again.
"I'm fine. Thanks Mrs. Weasley," Hermione assured her as she sat down at the table. Mrs. Weasley nodded, bustling over to the cooker so she could make sure that the food weren't burning. Hermione turned to look at the group at the table and gave them a short nod before she spotted Fleur Delacour sitting at the table next to Bill and looked at the man with a curious expression.
"Hermione, do you remember Fleur?" he asked and Hermione nodded. It was hard to forget someone like Fleur. She had visited Hogwarts in their fourth year for the Triwizard. Harry had `rescued' her sister in the second task. "Well…Fleur and I are engaged," Bill finished, surprising Hermione.
"Ron had told me that Fleur had been working at Gringotts and that you had been showing her the ropes. Not that you were dating," Hermione told them as she cast Ron a curious look but Ron just stared down at his plate.
"Yeah, it started out that way but as we got to know each other, we started dating," Bill explained. Fleur looked at him with a loving smile that made Hermione's heart pang sadly before she gave them a smile.
"I think that's wonderful. I'm glad that people can still find love and happiness with everything else that's been going on," she told them, genuinely happy for the couple in front of her. She knew Harry would have been pleased that people were finding shards of light among the pitch darkness that was threatening to overtake them all. Bill and Fleur smiled back at her.
"So…where have you been?" Ron spoke up, wanting to change the subject and looked at Hermione with a suspicious glare. "You just disappeared; you didn't leave a note or anything."
"Ron," Molly hissed, furious with her son for bringing up a subject she had told him not to bring up.
"What?" Ron looked at his mother. "We deserve answers. We lost Harry then Hermione disappeared, leaving us thinking she was dead too." He turned to look at Hermione once more, waiting.
"I needed to leave," Hermione told him, her voice no longer warm. "We lost Sirius just before the summer then we lost Harry. It was too much for me and I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, not with my memories of Harry."
"How do you think we felt?" Ron snapped. "You weren't the only one who lost Harry," he bit out. Hermione stood up, the chair scraping against the stone floor and looked at Mrs. Weasley.
"I am feeling tired, excuse me," she spun on her heels and stormed out of the kitchen. She could faintly hear the Weasley family lecturing Ron but she took no notice when she spotted Remus Lupin coming down the hallway. He stopped when he saw Hermione and gave her a strained smile.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you," he told her, his voice soft.
"Where am I meant to be staying?" Hermione asked him.
"I…I thought you might like Harry's old room," he admitted. Hermione let out a shuddering breath and nodded. Remus led her over to door that led the way into the room where Harry used to stay. Remus stopped, dipping his left hand into a pocket of his robes and pulled out a small tarnished silver key. "I left his room the way it was," Remus told Hermione as he handed her the key. "I…I couldn't bring myself to clear it out." Hermione stared at the key in her hand before she looked up at Remus with watery eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered, embracing Remus for a short moment she slid the key into the lock. Remus watched her for a moment before he turned around and walked back down the hallway, leaving Hermione alone.
Hermione twisted the key until she felt the lock give way and pulled the key out. She reached out and placed her hand on the handle, pausing for a moment before she steeled herself and twisted it. The door popped slightly and she entered the room, locking the door behind her before she rested her back against the cool wood.
She took her time in scanning the room. The large four poster bed was in the middle of the room with an owl perch near the window. There was only one bedside table next to the bed and a desk on the far side of the room with scattered papers and quills. The room looked untouched apart from the fact that there was no dust settled anywhere. Obviously a house elf, presumably Kreacher, had been cleaning.
There was a soft hissing sound as the window opened and a very familiar white owl flew into the bedroom and settled on the perch. Hermione felt her heart break when she spotted Harry's loyal pet. Hermione crossed the room, stopping next to the perch and reached out a shaky finger, allowing it to caress Hedwig's breast.
"Hey girl," she greeted. Hedwig gave a soft hoot, nibbling Hermione's finger in affection before she gazed sorrowful eyes up at her. "Yeah, I miss him too." She looked out of the window to see the street lights on and the barely seen stars hidden among the clouds. Closing her eyes, she could almost imagine Harry was lazing in his bed reading a quidditch magazine or his Defence against the Dark Arts book before making a comment about it that would send an amused glare from her in his direction.
It made her heart ache for the normality she had once shared with the raven haired man, who had been forced to grow up at a young age. Even with all the dangers they had faced, not once she had feared that he would have died. In her mind, she would have done anything she could to ensure that he lived through the final battle just so he could have the family he had so desperately wished for. It never occurred to her that Harry could die. It was stupid but that how she had seen him, invincible. He could be hurt but he couldn't be killed.
A tear slipped free and she hurriedly wiped it away. Harry hated it when she cried, he never could stand it. A soft popping sound pulled her out of her thoughts and she turned to see a very familiar house elf standing in the middle of the room.
"Dobby," Hermione greeted the young elf, shocked.
"Miss Mione," Dobby greeted solemnly. He was no longer the cheerful elf he used to be. He wore a black tea-cosy on his head and a black tie around his neck with one black sock and another grey sock on his feet. He looked every inch of an elf in mourning.
"Have you been keeping this room clean?" Hermione asked. Dobby nodded.
"No longer at Hogwarts. No Master Harry to care for," Dobby explained. Hermione understood how Dobby was feeling.
"Are you the one who brought Crookshanks here?" Hermione asked. She had left Crookshanks with her parents before coming here as she wasn't sure if she would have been welcomed. Dobby nodded.
"Along with your trunk," Dobby told her. Hermione had already brought her bag with her.
"Thank you, Dobby." Dobby bowed before disappearing with a soft pop. Hermione stared at the empty spot for a moment longer before she turned toward the bed where her cat was currently snoozing on. Hermione climbed onto the bed, taking care not to disturb Crookshanks who was already curled up on one of Harry's pillows. Hermione, much to her devastation, couldn't take him with her on her travels. It wasn't safe for him so she had to leave him behind with her parents.
Crookshanks let out a soft purr when Hermione ran a hand over his back before she opened her bag, pulling out assorted items. There was a thick black book with separated papers tucked in. It was tied with a thick rope to stop them for falling out. Her gaze lingered on the book for a thoughtful moment before she remembered that she had given Harry a thick diary in fifth year. As far as she knew, Harry hadn't used it so it should be perfect for her to use.
Hermione leaned over and pulled the top drawer of the bedside table looking for the book she had given to Harry only to frown when she only saw scattered papers. Closing the drawer, she moved down the middle one only to come up empty handed. Scowling, she closed that one, and move down to the last one only to meet resistance. Frowning, she tugged harder only to fail. Huffing, she climbed off the bed and shifted so she was in an easy position to grasp the handle firmly with her other hand planted against the top drawers and tugged forcefully.
The drawer came out with a snap, causing Hermione to stumble slightly before she regained her balance and looked into the drawer. It was filled with different papers and books. Shaking her head at how disorganised Harry could be when he wanted to be, she began sifting through the papers before she spotted the wrapped package and lifted it out of the drawer. The tag slipped free to the floor and she knelt down, picking up the tag. On the front was a picture of a book and a snitch before she turned it over to see her name written in Harry's chicken scratch. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the `Happy Birthday' accompanying her name and realised that it was probably her birthday present for last year.
Turning back to her parcel, she unwrapped the present with shaky hands before the paper fell to reveal a velvet black box. Taking a deep breath, she opened it to reveal a silver locket. She gently removed it from the cushion, the long thin silver chain slipping between her fingers. Her thumb rubbed against the engraving off the book on the front of the locket before she turned it over to see the engraving of a snitch on the back. She turned back over and she opened it to see the picture of her and Harry curled up on the Gryffindor's couch. She was laughing at something he was telling her with a bright smile on his face. On the other side of the locket were words engraved. `Our promises are never broken'.
She sat back on her heels, holding the locket close to her heart as tears escaped from closed lids.
"Damn you," she hissed in anger. At herself or at Harry or at the people who had killed Harry, she didn't know. She was just angry and she needed to take it out on someone. Standing up almost abruptly, she strode out of the room, making sure to lock it behind her before she made her way down the stairs, taking care as much as she could so she wouldn't alert anyone. She didn't want to talk to anyone; she didn't want to explain herself.
She reached the living room and peered in to see the fire was still going in the fireplace. There was a faint shadow in one of the chairs settled in front of the fire.
"Come in lass, there's no point in hiding in the doorway," Moody's harsh voice called to her. Hermione made her way over to him. "Sit down." She sat down in the chair across from him, making herself comfortable by tucking her feet under her thighs. Moody got up and made his way over to the bar that was near them. He picked up a glass and a large canter before moving back to her.
"Here you go, lass," Moody sat the shot glass down on the small round table in front of her. Hermione reached out, grasping the glass and brought it to her lips, swallowing the bitter liquid all in the one go, relishing the feel of it burning its way down her throat. It gave her the sense that she could still feel.
"They won't be happy if they find out," Hermione warned him as Moody filled the glass up.
"I don't care," Moody growled as he sat back down on the chair, taking a swift sip from his flask.
"I'm not talking about the alcohol," she told him as took the glass once more.
"I know," Moody assured her. "They will have my head put on a pike but you had your reasons and I respected them."
"Thank you," she told him, finishing off the glass and putting it on the table. She rose, not wanting to drink herself into a stupor. She needed a clear head.
"Do you have a plan?" Moody made her stop in her tracks.
"Yes," she told him, not turning around to face him.
"You just make sure you will be careful," Moody warned her. "If we were to lose you, we would have no chance."
"I will," she promised him, her right hand clenching into a fist, the edges of the jewellery digging into her palm. "I promised him, I won't break it." She left the living room and made her way up the stairs to Harry's room where she would stay for the remainder of the summer.
Moody watched her leave before he filled up the glass and swallowed the bitter liquid. His only wish was that Voldemort had never existed.
TBC
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