A/N: Here it is!
Chapter 10 - Tougher Than They Thought
Dear Harry,
I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to have lunch this Saturday in Hogsmeade? It really has been too long and I want to see you again.
Love from,
Hermione
Harry stared at the letter for a second, a frown on his face. It wasn't like Hermione to be nervous about asking her friend if he wanted to have lunch with her. She almost never got nervous…unless tests were involved, of course.
Maybe the past three years had changed her more than he had first thought.
He really didn't know how to respond to Hermione's letter. On the one hand he missed his best friend and ached to see her again. On the other hand he was afraid that having lunch with her would confirm what he had desperately been trying to deny: that he was still in love with the bushy-haired bookworm.
His desires beating down his doubt, Harry picked up a quill, dipped it in the ink bottle on his desk, and wrote back:
That would be great. The Three Broomsticks at noon? If you don't reply I'll assume your response is a yes.
Harry
It was about time Harry lived up to his Gryffindor heritage and faced his fears.
---GMAC---
Hermione had at first been ecstatic that Harry had been willing to come. She would finally get to see him and spend some time with him, something she had been longing to do since the day she learned he had disappeared.
But now, sitting in the Three Broomsticks at 11:55 on Saturday, Hermione couldn't help but feel apprehensive about the fact that she was going to be spending time with Harry again. What if she said the wrong thing and botched it up? She didn't want to go another three years without seeing him again.
Collecting herself and trying to will her knees to stop shaking under the table, Hermione glanced over at the door, where a shadow had fallen, to see Harry standing there, his eyes scanning the room for her. When he spotted her, a small smile graced his lips and he weaved his way through the tables to get to the one Hermione was at.
Now Hermione had to will her stomach to stop fluttering. It was better to keep a straight head in a delicate and important situation such as this.
"Hi, Harry," she said, smiling.
"How are you doing, Hermione?" Harry asked as he shrugged out of his coat and placed it on the seat next to his.
"Not bad. You?" Hermione asked in return.
"I'm good, really good. You heard about my engagement with Hannah?" Harry asked.
Crap, Hermione thought to herself. Coming into this she had wanted to avoid all discussion of Hannah as it would detract from her true intentions of asking him out to lunch.
"Yeah, I heard," Hermione replied warmly while at the same time remaining neutral. It wouldn't do well to blatantly show her dislike of his fiancée.
"We're going to have the wedding during Easter Break," explained Harry. "You're welcome to come."
"That sounds good," lied Hermione. In actuality there was no way she would be attending his wedding (unless she was the bride, of course). Either there would be no wedding because Harry would be in love with her, or if there was a wedding that would mean that Hermione would've failed and there was no way she was going to torture herself by watching the man she loved be wed to another.
"What do you think is better: dress robes or suits and dresses?" asked Harry.
Hermione inwardly groaned. This was not going anywhere near how she had pictured it would. She realized that if she wanted it to go the way she wanted it to, she would actually have to do something to get there. "Actually, Harry, can we not talk about the wedding? I want to hear about you alone, not you and Hannah."
"What's the matter? You're not happy for me?" asked Harry, a touch of hurt in his voice.
"It's not that Harry, it's just…I've had a long week at work and I don't really want to have to think too hard," Hermione lied again.
Harry nodded slowly. "Alright," he finally said. "So what do you want to talk about?"
"Us," Hermione replied.
"Us?" Harry asked.
"Yes," said Hermione. "I know that you feel it, too. If we avoid the topic of what happened three years ago we'll never be able to go back to being our old selves. I miss what we had, Harry. We have to talk about it and move on." That was just the first step for Hermione's plan to get more than what they previously had. Once Harry felt comfortable around her again he might remember the feelings he had for her. And if not…Hermione was prepared to give him a little push in the right direction.
Harry's face seemed emotionless. Then, finally, he let his guard down, his face showing apprehensiveness, vulnerability, and a touch of fear, and sighed. "I suppose you're right." A ghost of a smile flickered on his face. "As usual."
Hermione met his eyes and sincerely said, "You never gave me the chance to truly apologize."
"You don't need to anymore," said Harry, not meeting her eye. "I got over it a while ago."
"No matter whether you are truly over it or not, apologies are necessary to mend relationships," said Hermione. "So I just want to say that I really am sorry for not returning your feelings. I understand how hard it was to confess and how much harder it is to deal with rejection."
"You do, do you?" asked Harry, a dark tone to his voice. "You know how hard it is to see the person you love with someone else and be happy? You know how hard it is to piece together the shattered remains of your heart and move on? You were only ever with Ron, Hermione. You never had to put your neck on the chopping block. I don't think you know anything."
Hermione knew that this was just three years worth of bottled frustration and heartbreak coming out, but the words hurt her all the same. Harry had never spoken to her like that before. And who was he to speak about those things like he was the only one this had ever happened to? "Actually, Harry," replied Hermione strongly, "I know more than you think. I know exactly what it's like to see the person you love with someone else, and I know what it's like to try to move on after having your heart broken. Just because I've only been with Ron doesn't mean that he's the only man I've ever loved."
Harry stared defiantly at Hermione for a few seconds before breaking down and running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I'm sorry, Hermione," he said. "It's not right for me to take out everything on you just because you didn't love me back."
"It's alright, Harry," said Hermione, putting her hand on top of his. "I understand. No matter how much you try to deny it, whether to yourself, me, or anybody else, I know that there's a part of you deep inside that hates me for what happened. But once you release that anger, then it can truly be gone."
"Actually, I think it's already gone," said Harry, smiling weakly at her. "I think I'm angrier at myself."
"Angry at yourself?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah," said Harry. He moved his hand so it was on top of Hermione's and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry for putting you in that situation. It must've been hard having to hurt me and I know that by telling you how I felt I hurt you as well, especially when I disappeared for three years. That's why I'm angry at myself. I know that I hurt not only me, but you as well."
If only you knew the real reason why I'm hurting, Hermione thought wryly to herself. "It's alright, Harry. I think it was good that you told me. Or else you would be living with regret right now. And despite how much it hurt to be rejected, I know for a fact that regret is twenty times worse." Because I live with it every day.
Harry looked at her thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then he smiled. "I guess you're right." He chuckled and said, "And you were right about having to talk about it. I feel much better."
"I'm glad to hear it," said Hermione. "I feel better too."
"Good," said Harry. "Now, have you had any more trouble from my girls?"
"No," said Hermione, laughing. "Actually, we eat lunch together most days."
As lunch went on the two friends fell into their old ways and became more comfortable with each other. They spent most of the afternoon together and only parted ways when Harry had to leave to get ready for his date with Hannah. By that time it was like the past three years had never happened and the two planned to get together for lunch again the next Saturday.
Things were progressing just as Hermione wanted. The easy part was over, and it was now time for the hard part to begin.
---GMAC---
Raven and Jade smiled as at each other as they dismounted their brooms. They had both made it on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as Chasers and had just finished their first practice.
Things had been looking up the past few weeks. Not only had they made the Gryffindor Quidditch team, but Hermione and their dad had had lunch together for three weeks in a row.
There was only one blight on their high spirits and that was the fact that Hannah hadn't cracked yet. They thought for sure that there was no way she could've lasted a month. But now there were only five days until the month was up and no letters of thanks had come from their dad stating that they were right about Hannah and he and Hannah had broken up.
It seemed that it was time to develop a new plan.
---GMAC---
At dinner that night in a small restaurant in Spain overlooking the ocean, Hannah Abbot tried hard not to fidget. Now that she had become accustomed to the taste of money and being rich, it was hard going so long without it, especially when it was just barely out of her reach.
She ached for it, she craved it. She was addicted to it, and she was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. She needed money now. She needed it now. She couldn't take it any longer. She needed it RIGHT NOW!
Everywhere she looked, she saw places she could be spending her money. Not only that, but she had missed the deal of the year. One of her favorite shoe stores went out of business and they had had a three-day-long grand closing sale. And she had missed it. Missed it because of those stupid kids.
Oh, how she wished those two snot-nosed brats weren't around to interfere. They couldn't leave her alone even when they were hundreds of miles away. And now, because of them, she was about to lose any chance of being with Harry's wallet for eternity.
Because she was going to freak out. The money was gone. She couldn't spend it right now. And she wouldn't be able to for another five days. If she could just get her hands on a single bill, she would be able to tough it out for the next few days. If she just had a single bill to touch, to smell, to caress. But no, she had to be stupid and spend every last knut she had stored in the tin under the bed. It had only been a meager 100 galleons. She had told herself to make sure it lasted, but there had been that one skirt, and that one belt, and that one set of robes. And now it had been two weeks, four days, seven hours and 27 minutes since she had last bought something-since she had last felt the smooth gold surface of a galleon.
And she couldn't take it anymore.
A/N: I know, I know. But you're going to have to wait. Next chapter begins the battle for Harry's heart and drama with Hannah ensues.
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