Chapter Four
Katy had never been a particularly timid person, but something about the hospital ward made her nervous. She sat on the bed across from Mrs. Longbottom and Hermione, watching as Hermione brushed the woman's white hair. It fell to Alice's shoulders (for Hermione had taken to calling her Alice on visits), and it seemed to Katy that no normal human being could be so insensitive to her mother's gentle touch.
"Why doesn't she respond, Mama?"
Hermione put the brush aside and began dividing Alice's hair into three thin strands.
"I don't know, Katy," she said quietly, "Perhaps she can't. Or perhaps she doesn't want to."
Katy watched Alice's face.
"Where is Neville's father?"
"They moved him to a different room." Hermione's face grew unbearably sad, and it hurt Katy, seeing that look. "He's been sick and it upset Alice immensely."
Katy studied Alice's still, emotionless face, trying to picture such a silent being as upset.
"Oh, I know it doesn't look like it," Hermione said, "but I think Alice is still there, deep down inside. She seems to respond to me sometimes-although I could be imagining it."
"Are you and Luna going to help her?"
"And Frank, if we can," said Hermione, nodding, "You see? She looked up. Hello, Alice."
"Yasmine thinks she must have been very beautiful once."
"I think there is something beautiful about everyone, if we can find it," said Hermione, "but I imagine Yasmine is right. She must have been."
"It makes me sad," Katy said after a moment, "that she can't even recognize Neville. Oh, Mama, I don't think I could bear it if you forgot me."
"You'll never have to bear that," said Hermione immediately and firmly, "I'd never forget you, Katy-girl. You're too much a part of me."
"But suppose Alice said the same thing?"
Hermione went still.
"Well," she said after a moment, reaching out and touching Katy's knee, "that's why I'm trying to help her."
Hermione came and sat beside Katy on the bed, putting her arm around her.
"I don't think Alice has forgotten everything, Katy," she whispered, "and that's where I'm going to start."
^*^*^*^
Two neatly packed trunks sat by the front door, waiting for the morning when they would be pushed through a busy train station to the Hogwarts Express. Hermione gazed at them through misty eyes, astonished to find herself fighting back tears.
She hadn't expected Katy to receive a letter-she was only ten, after all-but she had received one, and though the occurrence had been greeted with a great deal of excitement, there was a great deal of sorrow in it, too.
Hermione turned off the downstairs lights, blowing out the few remaining candles, and locked the door securely. She raised her wand and put up the family wards, then turned and tiptoed up the stairs.
When she reached Katy's room, she lingered and finally slipped inside. Katy was fast asleep, her hair tumbling about her face, and Hermione felt her throat constrict at the familiar sight. She knelt near the bed, brushing a hand across Katy's cheek and kissing her tenderly on the forehead.
"I'll miss you, Katy-girl," she murmured, "but it's only because I love you so dearly."
She tore herself away from her daughter's bedside, reminding herself that it was going to be a busy day tomorrow. As she walked down the hallway, swiping tears from her eyes, she suddenly realized that there were noises coming from Yasmine's room.
"Yasmine?" she whispered, slipping inside and finding her daughter curled up on the floor, "Oh-Yasmine-oh, sweetheart-"
"I can't say goodbye to her, Mama!" Yasmine wailed, "Oh, Mama, I just can't!"
"You mean Katy?"
Yasmine sobbed dejectedly and threw her arms about Hermione's neck. "I know I've been so terribly grumpy, and I know everyone thinks I'm jealous, but I'm not, Mama, my heart is breaking and it hurts so much and I can't bear to think about Katy going away, not for a whole year, and I know it's terrible that I didn't cry when Ben left but I'm crying for Katy but-but… but-oh!"
"Yasmine, you'll give yourself hiccups," Hermione whispered, wrapping her arms around her, "Shh… shh…"
"I thought only grown-ups could have heartbreaks!" Yasmine moaned, "I thought I had to fall in love first!"
"But you do love Katy, only differently. That doesn't mean it won't break your heart a little to say goodbye," said Hermione, her heart overflowing with compassion for her, "You'll see Katy on holidays and of course you can write-"
"It won't be the same," choked Yasmine, who had indeed cried herself into hiccups. "Oh why do we have to grow up?"
Hermione smiled a little at that, feeling herself empathizing with the question more than she expected.
"Because we were meant to, Yazzy," she said softly, "Think of Jackie-you wouldn't want her to stay four years old forever, would you?"
Yasmine lifted a tearstained face to hers, still crying, but looking slightly heartened.
"I suppose not," she conceded with another hiccup. "But maybe I can just go to Neverland and never grow up."
"I don't think you'd like that," Hermione said, laughing softly, "That's why Wendy had to go back. Little girls have to grow up-otherwise we couldn't have wise, compassionate women."
"Like you?"
Hermione brushed away Yasmine's tears with a thumb.
"Well, what do you think?" she asked with tender gravity. Yasmine considered her mother's face with dark, tear-filled eyes.
"I think-if I must grow up-then I'll grow up to be just like you, Mama."
She sighed and curled up into Hermione's arms. "Mama?"
"Yes?"
"Did growing up-and getting married-I mean-does it scare you?"
Hermione considered the question.
"I think it scares everyone," she said, pulling Yasmine closer, "I'm a little frightened of it still."
"About growing up?"
"Yes," Hermione said, laughing gently, "about growing up, and about Katy going away, and about being a good mother and wife. It's all right to be frightened. What counts is not running away."
"To Neverland?"
"To Neverland," said Hermione, "or to anywhere else. Running away only means that trouble will have to come a little further to find you. Fear isn't a bad thing, Yasmine-courage is the thing that matters."
"Do you think… do you think I have courage, Mama?"
"You can. Courage is being afraid and not giving in to it. Like the Cowardly Lion. Do you remember him?"
"Yes," said Yasmine, "he was one of my favorites."
Hermione smiled. "The Cowardly Lion didn't stop being afraid, Yasmine. He just stopped running away, and starting standing up for himself-even if his paws trembled and his tail twitched and his voice shook while he did it."
She kissed Yasmine's forehead.
"Now will you go back to bed?" she asked. Yasmine nodded and allowed Hermione to tuck her back into bed.
"Good night, Yasmine," Hermione whispered, stroking her cheek briefly, "sweet dreams."
Yasmine smiled up at her.
"I'm glad you were brave enough to take us, Mama," she murmured. Hermione smiled back.
"I am, too."
^*^*^*^
He didn't know exactly how he felt about it, watching Katy sit down at the Gryffindor table. There were cheers as well as whispers, as there had been for him, but this time, it was louder, more excited.
"Ben?"
Audrey shook him by the shoulder gently. "Are you all right, Ben? Ben!"
"What?" he started. "Oh-Audrey-sorry-did you say something?"
"You look ill," she said critically, "are you upset about your sister?"
He laughed nervously. "About Katy? No, of course not-why would I be upset?"
"Because she's in your parents' house," said Audrey gently, "and you're in Ravenclaw."
It stung, and it must have showed on his face, because Audrey put her hand on his arm and squeezed it. "Ben, you know it doesn't matter."
"I know," Ben said shortly.
"I'm glad you're in Ravenclaw," said Audrey, "and I think your parents are, too."
"I know, Audrey," Ben snapped. "Just-forget it, all right?"
"Ben!" Katy came dashing up to him, her eyes shining and braids flying behind her. "Ben, did you see?"
He swallowed hard and forced himself to smile.
"Everyone here is so friendly!" Katy said, "I met Nathan's brother Jason, and-and-Ben?"
He instantly regretted the look on Katy's face, and he said quickly, "I think it's great, Katy-you're in Gryffindor!"
"I know!" Katy beamed. "We should write to Mama and Dad, shouldn't we? And you should show me where everything is, and how to send a letter, and-and Ben, I will see you, won't I?"
"Maybe," said Ben, "at mealtimes."
Her face fell.
"Only then?" she said, in a small voice. "But-I thought-"
"He'll do his best to see you at least once every day," Audrey piped up quickly, "We both will, won't we, Ben?"
"'Course we will, Katy-girl," said Ben, not needing the gentle kick Audrey gave him under the table. "In fact, I'll take you to your first class after breakfast. How's that?"
Katy's eyes flashed blue-green, and he knew that he had said the right thing.
"Will you? It won't make you late?"
"It doesn't matter," said Ben, sincerely, "I don't want you to get lost like I did."
"Thank you, Ben," said Katy, looking more grateful than Ben thought he deserved, "I'm going to go back to the Gryffindor table, but-but will you-would you mind-saying goodnight to me before you go to your common room? Just once?"
Ben suddenly realized how afraid his sister looked, and he felt instantly ashamed of himself.
"I'll say goodnight to you as long as you need," he said firmly, "I promise."
^*^*^*^
Ben found Katy outside her common room right after dinner. She was sitting on the flagstones in her uniform, and something about her face let him know she had been crying.
"This is your sister, isn't it, young man?" said the Fat Lady, "Poor dear. Homesick already."
Ben sat down next to Katy, ignoring the schoolmates passing them by and staring.
"Katy?"
She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder.
"It's silly-but-I thought you would be with me all the time-and now-now I'm afraid-"
"You don't need to be," said Ben, "Hogwarts is amazing."
"Oh, I know," Katy said quickly, "I know it is, and I've been so excited, but-but Ben, I miss home."
"I do too, sometimes," said Ben, "but you'll make friends."
She looked up at him imploringly. "You must think I'm being such a baby-I must be embarrassing-"
"It's okay, Katy," said Ben, "you're my sister. You're more important. And I cried, too, my first night here."
"People stare," she whispered, "not in a mean way, but they still look at me-"
"It's because they know who our parents are," said Ben, "they expect something from us. But that's okay. Dad had the same problem."
"I suppose you're right," Katy said, scrubbing her face. He patted her on the shoulder.
"Good night, Katy," he said softly. "Don't worry."
She smiled at him quickly.
"Good night." She looked around, then bent close to his ear and whispered, "I love you, Ben, but I'll only whisper it, because I don't want you to be embarrassed."
He flushed, touched by her thoughtfulness, and still a little ashamed of himself. So, forsaking his dignity, he hugged her and said, "I love you too, Katy-girl. Good night."
^*^*^*^
"Well, Teddy," said Harry, "I guess it's you and me."
Teddy looked at him with wide eyes.
Unbidden, something like a shiver went down Harry's back. It was almost like looking at a picture of himself as a baby, except for his eyes. They really were Hermione's eyes, he thought, feeling strangely unsettled.
"Yeah," said Harry, "I wish Ron would take me for ice cream, too."
He paused and shifted Teddy to his other knee.
"You don't seem to like me," Harry said at long last, when Teddy turned away. "but then… you make yourself look like me, don't you?"
Teddy squirmed, and Harry lowered him gently to the floor, letting him sprawl out on the carpet on his stomach.
"You know," said Harry, sitting on the floor and watching him grasp the carpet threads. "I wonder if you aren't afraid of me because of my glasses. Is that it?"
Teddy turned onto his back, watching intently as Harry took off his glasses.
"How's that?" said Harry to the brown and blue shape in front of him. "Yeah. C'mere."
He reached out and picked Teddy up. He could see Teddy's face now, brown inquisitive eyes scanning his. Unexpectedly, Teddy planted his tiny palms on Harry's cheeks.
Harry scrunched his nose as Teddy leaned forward and spread his fingers over his cheeks, so that his fingertips barely touched the bottom of Harry's eyes.
"Yeah," said Harry very quietly, "I'm not as terrifying now, am I?"
In answer, Teddy put his head on Harry's shoulder and let out a tiny sigh, a sigh that made his whole body go limp. Harry grinned, turning to kiss the little boy on the head.
"Someday you'll like me with my glasses, too… but I'm happy with this for now."
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