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Personal Diary- A World Of Secrets by rockstar
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Personal Diary- A World Of Secrets

rockstar

World of Secrets

A/N: - I don't own Harry Potter and anything or anyone related…

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Harry rubbed his head. He realized who it was. "Hermione" he whispered, taking in that he had opened a new world of secrets about his best friend.

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Harry couldn't believe that Hermione was in love with him. Hermione Granger, his best friend of last 5 years was in love with him and never bothered to tell him. But how could it be? She never said anything, nor did she act like she loved him.

Hell! Hermione even gave him the advice regarding Cho.

Cho was the Ravenclaw beauty in the diary. Hermione always smiled whenever he told her about his feelings for Cho. She never gave any indication that she was in pain. How was he supposed to know?

Harry kept on reading.

`Harry and Cho broke up today. Harry didn't tell me anything. I eavesdropped on them. I know it was wrong, but it wasn't intentional.

Today in the meeting of Dumbledore's Army, we had dueling lessons. Oh sorry. I forgot to tell about Dumbledore's Army. It is a defense group, Harry, Ron and I have formed. We have to do this because that stupid toad, Umbridge, wouldn't let us practice defense spells in the class. I mean how we are going to pass our O.W.L.S and fight death eaters. Well, enough about DA.

So yeah, after the meeting was over, I was arranging the defense books back in shelf on the far end of the room where there were various shelves filled with defense books.

I think Harry and Cho thought that they were alone. It was then that I heard their conversation.

Cho was asking Harry to break his friendship with me. She was forcing him to choose between me and her. I was so scared that moment that Harry would choose her. Next moment I realized that I was underestimating our friendship and the strong bond I shared with Harry. Harry chose me. He broke up with Cho. I was so happy.'

`Harry told me and Ron that he had broken up with Cho, he didn't give the reason for break up. I should have been very happy, like I was last night when I heard them breaking up. However, I wasn't. Harry looked sad. May be he should have chosen her.'

Harry looked at the diary incredulously.

`Has she gone mad? How can she think that I would ever choose anyone else above her? Someone so intelligent can be so stupid at times.' Harry thought with a bitter smile. He continued reading…

`Harry's interview with beetle Rita has been a huge success. Everyone in the school has started believing that Harry wasn't lying about Voldemort's return. 2 days back I spoke Voldemort's name for the first time, Harry was impressed.'

`Downside of the success of the interview- Harry and Cho are back together. Cho even spoke to me congratulating me for arranging the interview.'

Harry realized that entries in the diary were taking a depressing tone moving towards the end of the fifth year.

`Today Harry and I were to study together in the library after dinner. However, he went for a walk with Cho. I waited for him till 11 PM, but he didn't show up. He forgot, I didn't remind him.'

Harry remembered that day; Cho had dragged him out of the castle, near the lake. He had lost the track of time and by the time he realized, it was already too late for his study session with Hermione. When he arrived back at the common room, Hermione was sitting there alone, reading a book.

Harry thought of apologizing to her. However, to his surprise Hermione didn't mentioned anything about study session, like she didn't remember at all, so Harry let it go as well. Now he knew she hadn't forgotten. Last line on the page told him how much she was hurting that night.

`Is Harry forgetting me?'

Harry curled his fist angrily. She was hurting and yet she smiled.

Harry felt angry towards Hermione. How could she smile and talk normally with him about Cho? She was hurting inside all those times, yet she didn't say anything to him. How could she just lie so easily to him? How could she hide her feelings from him? Why would she hide her feelings?

Harry knew why she hid it. Nevertheless, he was angry at Hermione for hiding it from him. They were best friend and best friends didn't keep secrets from each other.

He continued reading the diary, which revealed deep, hurtful secrets of Hermione.

`She is ready to feel all the hurt, but wouldn't tell me about her feelings. Is she a Gryffindor or not?' Harry thought angrily. He was angry at Hermione for not telling him and angry at himself for not seeing Hermione's feelings for him.

Harry continued reading the diary. He decided not to go to dinner that night. He remained in his dormitory, reading the diary.

Hermione didn't understand a thing about Quidditch; still she attended Quidditch matches, just to see Harry play. She liked his windswept messy hair. According to Hermione, Harry looked damn handsome in Gryffindor Quidditch robes.

Harry found that somehow over the years he had become the reason for Hermione's existence in magical world. Whatever she read or learned, she always associated it with Harry and how would it help him. Her knowledge, her thoughts, her experiences, her feelings and emotions…everything revolved around Harry.

`It makes me feel useful whenever Harry needs me. I don't know what I would do when he won't need me anymore. I just don't want to think about it.'

Harry had to try hard to suppress his emotions, which were bubbling under the surface. He wanted to go to Hermione straightaway and confront her. However, he continued to read the diary, getting deeper into Hermione's world of secrets.

She had thought of how it would feel to kiss him, how would it feel to be in his arms and how would it feel if he looked at her the same way he looked at Cho, even for a second.

Hermione had once thought of learning to fly, so as to impress Harry. However, she cancelled the idea the moment she looked at the broomstick.

`Ha! One day I am going to make her fly on a broomstick.' Harry thought with amusement, forgetting his anger for a moment. However, it returned reading further.

Harry found that Hermione had cried for him so many times. She did everything for him. She had even let her hopes rise when Harry and Chon again broke up towards the end of the year.

(A/N: - I am not mentioning about Sirius because he survived at the end of the fifth year.)

He found that Hermione had never fully healed from the curse she was hit with, at the Ministry. Harry shuddered, remembering that night. Voldemort had lured him to the Ministry, making him believe that death eaters had captured Sirius. But Sirius wasn't captured. That night Harry had almost lost Hermione. Luckily, Order had arrived on time and Hermione was saved. Hermione was unconscious for a whole week and Harry never left her side. Somehow, he didn't know how to live without Hermione.

Harry pulled himself out of his musings and went back to reading, finding other things about his best friend.

She even had nightmares, repercussion of the curse. She had gone through a mild depression during the summer vacation after fifth year because her feelings for her best friend were becoming too much for her to handle.

`And she didn't feel like telling me.' Harry thought resentfully.

He continued to read, but last entry of the diary broke his resolve to control his emotions.

`I know Harry would never love me the way I love him. It's time to let go of all my hopes, it's time to give up on him.'

Angry tears welled up in his eyes. He snapped shut the diary and threw it on the floor. He kept staring at the diary, never moving from his place on the bed.

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Harry heard the footsteps outside the dormitory. He quickly wiped his tears away. He was picking the diary from the floor when door opened. It was Ron.

"Harry, what are you doing? You missed the dinner." Ron said as he entered into the dormitory.

"I was not feeling well, so just decided to skip the meal." Harry replied as he sat back on his bed, slipping the diary under his pillow, which fortunately for him, went unnoticed by Ron.

"How are you feeling now?" Ron asked sitting on his bed.

"Better," Harry replied.

Ron nodded. "Well, then you better go and tell Hermione about it. She was worried about you and sent me here to check upon you." Ron said with a huge yawn and closing his eyes.

Harry chuckled at this and nodded. He got up from his bed and made his way to the common room.

He stopped at the last stair. He took a moment to look at Hermione who was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. She looked so normal, who would have believed that she was wounded inside.

`I have to give her credit. She's quite a good actress.' Harry thought bitterly.

Harry slowly made his way towards Hermione. Hermione looked up and smiled at him.

`She's smiling, a very effective mask to hide away all the pain, from me.' Harry thought with same bitter feeling. Harry didn't return her smile.

"Ron said you were worried about me." Harry said coldly.

Hermione was taken aback by his tone.

"Yeah, you didn't show up at dinner." Hermione replied, looking at Harry with a wary look in her eyes.

"I was not feeling well." Harry replied abruptly.

Hermione merely nodded. "I brought you a sandwich, thought you would be hungry." Hermione said, gesturing towards the covered plate, which was kept on the table beside the couch.

"Thank you, but I am not feeling hungry." Harry replied looking away from Hermione's worried face.

Right that moment he couldn't look at Hermione, knowing that she was hiding so many secrets from him. It hurt him to look at her and know that she just gave up on him. He was scared that if he stayed any longer in her company he would snap and shout at her, confronting her about the diary. He knew it wasn't the right moment to talk, at least not until he had his emotions in control.

"Good night," Harry said and turned to leave.

However, Hermione grabbed his hand. "Harry, you haven't eaten anything since the lunch time. You should eat the sandwich." She said, a little forcefully.

"I told you I am not hungry." Harry snapped angrily at her, quickly snatching his hand away from her grasp.

Hermione stared at Harry with shocked look on her face, which was quickly replaced by hurt. Some of the other students were also looking at them. Harry stared at Hermione for a moment and then quickly darted back towards the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories.

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Next day Hermione tried to talk to him during the breakfast, asking him about whether he was angry at her. However, Harry simply answered no and ignored her for the rest of the day.

This routine of avoiding Hermione continued for next couple of days. Others too had started to notice the tension between Harry and Hermione. When Ron confronted Harry about this, Harry just said that nothing was wrong between him and Hermione. Words were spreading around that Harry had broken his friendship with Hermione. Harry knew it was not true, but right now he was hurting too much to right the things between him and Hermione.

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As Harry continued to avoid Hermione, Hermione became more and more depressed with each passing day. Various doubts and insecurities were making their way into her mind. She had started to think that Harry didn't want to be friends with her anymore. Was it because of Cho? Was Harry finally going to end their friendship, so he could be with Cho? Hermione felt guilty for doubting Harry's friendship. She knew Harry would never end their friendship because of Cho. Then why was he avoiding her?

She tried so many times to talk with Harry. However, Harry always had excuses to avoid her company. She couldn't help but think that Harry was hiding something from her. It hurt her to think that he didn't trust her. She couldn't help but cry at the helplessness she was feeling due to Harry avoiding her. She wasn't used to Harry avoiding her.

While Harry continued to avoid Hermione, there was another big problem for Hermione. She had not found her diary yet. She checked every place where she might have lost the diary. She checked her dormitory, Gryffindor common room, and library. She even asked Dobby and other house-elves, if they found any diary while cleaning the Gryffindor tower, but with no success.

Even though she had placed the privacy charms on the diary, Hermione was still scared about what if anyone read her diary. She was sure that nobody would be able to break her charms, but was scared nonetheless.

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Cho Chang was the happiest human being in the castle of Hogwarts. She had heard the rumors of broken friendship between Harry and Hermione. She had seen in the Great Hall, the way Harry had stopped sitting with Hermione.

Cho was sure that Harry had broken his friendship with Hermione, so that he could get back together with her. Cho knew that Harry still liked her and was finally going to choose her over Hermione.

Hermione Granger, she was always a thorn in the bouquet of happiness of Cho's life. Cho had been very angry when Harry chose Hermione over her.

However, now their friendship was over. Cho knew what she had to do now. She was going to tell him that she wanted to get back with him. She was going to ask him to go with her to the next Hogsmeade trip. With no Hermione to disturb them, this was going to be a great date.

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A/N:- Give your reviews to tell whether you liked it or not. Apologies for any kind of spelling and grammatical mistakes.

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