They awoke later than intended. Hermione came to gradually, first hearing birds chirping and the dull hum of a vacuum nearby. Then she felt the throbbing in her head and how her muscles had stiffened up overnight. She tentatively flexed her leg and immediately regretted it. However, the thing that got her attention fully was the smell of fresh, rich, French coffee.
She dared to peek open one eye and saw Harry with his back to her. He was dressed, without her assistance, she noted, and must have been in the shower already as his hair was still wet. He was wearing another dark button down and black trousers that he had pulled from somewhere.
He turned around and saw that she was awake and came to her side. Other than holding his arm quite still he was moving rather normally. "Hey," He said softly and pushed a fall of hair off her cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Terrible" She admitted "You seem like you're doing better."
"Shoulder's still a mess, but everything else seems to be healing up. The shower helped."
"Could you bring it to me then?" She asked in all seriousness
"How about I help you in there and then when you get out we can have something to eat before settling the issue of the destroyed Mercedes we left down the road."
He pulled back the covers, and she had completely forgotten she was only in her underwear.
"I'm sure I look a fright." She said wryly, trying to diffuse the tension.
"Just a bit more colorful than usual." He replied and extended his hand to help her up.
It took more effort than she expected just to swing her legs over the side and sit up. By the time she had accomplished this small victory she was sweating again and was sure her face was grey.
She could see various bruises and contusions. Her knee was the worst. It was swollen and an array of colors, bending it didn't seem to be an option.
"You alright?" He asked, cupping her cheek in his hand. She leaned into it and let her eyes shut. "Yeah, I just need a minute."
He didn't move until she covered his hand with hers and gave him a smile.
The walk to the bathroom was slow and tedious but she was feeling more stable by the time they arrived at their destination.
"I won't be far." He assured her. "I'll just pop downstairs and grab you a tray." She knew he was worried about her thinking he was going to disappear again and she appreciated his efforts to keep that from happening.
He slipped out of the room and she avoided looking in the mirror, there was no way she looked better than she had last night.
Soon, steam was filling the small space and she stripped off what was left of her clothing and let it too join it's former wardrobe mates in the bin.
With her knee a mangled mess, stepping over the side of the tub was a challenge but she managed. And then there was nothing but blissfully hot water. It found every scrape and cut and sent fire down her arm but it was exactly what she needed. The provided shampoo was sure to leave her hair feeling like straw, but a drying charm would help and anything was better than its current state.
The longer she stayed in there however, the worse she felt. She didn't know if it was the trauma of the day before, the lack of food, her concussion, or some odd mix of all three. All she knew was she was feeling more and more light headed, and the once welcomed heat was making her feel queasy. Her knee felt hot to the touch and she didn't think that was a good thing.
With a shaking hand she shut off the water and listened hard trying to hear Harry. Her bag was in the other room and she didn't think she had the strength to go get it.
Getting out was even more undignified than getting in. She eventually resigned herself to sitting on the side of the tub and then pulling her legs over one by one. Even that took considerable effort.
Still sitting on the edge she was able to reach a towel and attempt to dry herself off, but after bending down to reach her feet resulted in her head swimming so much she almost ended up on the floor she settled for just wrapping it around her.
"Harry" She called out trying to sound as normal as possible. She waited a few beats and then called again but there was no response. He must still be downstairs.
With a sigh she pulled herself upright and clutched the doorknob while the room tilted and spun and then against her better judgement, opened the door.
Carefully and deliberately she made her way across the room and was feeling quite proud of herself when a wave of dizziness hit her and she stumbled sideways, luckily only finding the bed. She lowered herself to the floor as carefully as she could but she still ended up knocking her knee and sucked air through her teeth at the pain.
Slumped against the bed, towel dangerously close to coming undone, with her head tipped back on the scratchy duvet trying to control her breathing was how Harry found her when he returned.
She was spinning the ring on her left hand, an unconscious coping mechanism she had developed over the past few years, when the door opened and he stepped through struggling with a tray.
He didn't spot her at first. His right arm wasn't much use, and the tray was an awkward size. He kicked the door shut with his foot and slid the tray onto the nearest flat surface before spotting her.
"Hermione!" He shouted before darting to her side.
"Wards." She said simply, as she knew he hadn't had time to recast them.
"Sod the wards. What's wrong?" His hand cupped her jaw and then felt her forehead "You're warm."
"It's just from the shower. I made it too hot and now I'm dizzy." She tried to sound nonchalant but she knew he could see through her charade.
He gave her an incredulous look but held his tongue. "Come on, let's get you up, I'm sure you'll feel better after you eat." and he went to grab her elbow to help her rise.
"No." She said, holding up a hand to cut him off "I'm good where I am, if you wouldn't mind handing me some juice." She didn't want to admit to him exactly how terrible she felt. She was hoping food would improve her condition.
She saw him fight an internal battle and then he got up with a sigh and stalked over to reset the wards before moving on to the tray. She let her eyes fall shut and took the moment of respite while it was there.
When she opened her eyes again he had lay a small plate with a croissant and some fruit at her side and held a glass of what looked to be orange juice. "Just the heat from the shower?" he said darkly, but she ignored him and held out her hand for the glass.
It took her twenty minutes to sip the juice and force herself to nibble on the food. Harry sat in the chair and watched her with a disapproving look on his face but he didn't say anything.
Finally she pushed the plate away and looked at him. "I feel better." and then continued before he could argue with her. "Truly. I do. A few more healing spells and maybe even an aspirin and I'll more than make it to London."
He was still giving her a look like he didn't believe her but came over to give her a hand up. With one hand in his and the other keeping her towel from falling off she was suddenly once again on two legs. There was only a brief flash of dizziness she was happy to note and she smiled at him like she had just gotten the answer right in class.
He rolled his eyes and went back to his chair while she rifled through the duffel bag and then disappeared into the bathroom again to change.
Her hair...mess didn't even begin to describe it. The drying charm didn't help either, in fact, it may have made it worse. She had found a clip in the bottom of her bag and made a half hearted attempt to pull the mass of curls into some semblance of order but she couldn't raise her right arm high enough for that to happen, maybe Harry could help her. Between the two of them they had a working set of arms.
She cast a few healing charms, mostly on her knee, and swallowed two aspirin she had grabbed out of the medical kit hoping they would kick in soon. She never thought she would miss Madame Pomfrey and the hospital wing, but right now she would take an overnight there gladly.
Feeling a bit more human she rejoined Harry and found he had poured her a cup of coffee and had been looking at the map again.
She smiled her appreciation and took a large swallow, savoring the flavor. How had he known she'd become addicted to the stuff while at university?
"Feeling better?" He asked, nodding towards the knee
"Some. But I'll be glad to see St. Mungo's later today." Then she held out the clip "Would you mind? I can't seem to manage on my own."
He came to stand behind her, and a shiver went through her when he swept the hair off her neck, his fingers cool on her overheated skin. It took a few tries but eventually they got it to work, even if it looked a bit sloppy.
"Thanks for the help." She said, his hand still laying on the back of her neck. He moved to stand in front of her and let his hand trail around underneath her ear and over her jawline. Her heart fluttered, and she hoped he couldn't tell her heartbeat had increased.
"You still feel warm." He said, concern in his eyes.
"I'll be fine. I took some aspirin. No worries." She assured him and then grabbed a black scarf from the bag and turned her attention on him.
"Here, that arm will feel better if it's immobilized. I considered putting you in a full body bind but I thought you might get a bit tetchy at that." She smiled at the growl he gave her and then busied herself making him a sling that kept the arm pressed into his chest.
"I don't like this Hermione. It makes it difficult to get to my wand." He said tersely, pulling slightly at the wrap and making moves with his hand like he was attempting to reach his wand.
"Stop." She admonished "I have no doubt that you'd be able to get to your wand if necessary. Now let's go get the car sorted so we can get on our way." She said and stepped away to finish packing the bag with their few belongings.
"No need." He said smugly and dug a set of keys out of his pocket, dangling them in front of her.
"What?" she said in surprise not understanding "How early did you wake up?"
"Our kind hostess took pity on the, quote "Poor hurt young couple." and took it upon herself to call her son who happens to own the local tow company. He brought the car in last night. They also called the number of the rental company and explained the situation. I don't know what she said to them, but they actually sent someone out here early this morning with a brand new car and left all the paperwork for their insurance file. All I had to do was sign and stick it in the post. Your chariot awaits you, m'lady." He gave the keys a little shake for emphasis.
She gaped at him open mouthed trying to process the story he'd just told her and a small part of her wondered if it was all true, but then her head gave a throb and she realized she didn't care as long as it got them to London quicker.
"That's amazing, Harry!" And felt compelled to give him a hug, although not as enthusiastically as she typically would have given their injuries. When she pulled back she plucked the keys from his unsuspecting fingers.
"Hermione!" He bellowed "Give them back."
She gave him a look worthy of McGonagall "Not a chance, Potter. You honestly think you can drive with that arm the way it is." she said, nodding at his virtually worthless limb.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes. She could see the muscles clench in his jaw and she knew he was flashing back to yesterday and the car wreck.
"`Mione, please." He was fighting for control.
She stepped in close until there was hardly any space between them and laid her hand along his cheek. "Trust me." She whispered, knowing what she was asking of him.
She felt a tremble go through him and then his eyes locked with hers. He held her gaze and then lowered his head so their foreheads were touching. "I just need for you to be safe."
Her breath caught at his words. It wasn't the first time he had said that. "I'm with you." She said simply and then stepped back before things got even more intense.
Not surprising it took longer than it should of for them to take their leave of the inn. The owner fussed and fluttered and tried to get them to stay another night. Finally they were walking around to the back where yet another dark colored Mercedes awaited them.
She hesitated only a moment before opening the driver's door and she felt Harry's eyes on her. Their gazes met across the roof and he allowed her to see the naked fear there before he schooled his features and slid in.
Soon enough they were headed back the way they came and it took all of her considerable concentration to not shake when they drove past the wreck site. The tires marks and gouges from where they hit the embankment were still quite evident.
Tears sprang to her eyes unbidden and she brushed they away angrily with the back of her hand. She saw Harry start as if to touch her but couldn't due to his arm. His head hit the head rest behind him in frustration.
The car was silent until they reached the turn off and were now heading northeast for the France/Belgium border. They both relaxed somewhat then and Harry suggest they stop at the next town so she could stretch her leg. She thought it was more likely he was going barmy being cooped up in one place for so long with nothing to do.
But she did as he asked and pulled over just outside of a town with a lovely view of the countryside. There was a small park area with a monument to some long ago war and she headed for a low concrete bench while Harry slipped into a small shop.
It was quiet here. No one else was around and the sun was warm enough on her back. Harry sat next to her and pressed a cup into her hand. She took it without comment and continued her watch.
Harry sipped his drink and she wondered if he was itching to go. Suddenly, and without intent she blurted out a question. "Where have you been?"
He flinched, causing the hot liquid to spill over the lip and he hissed in surprise while absently sucking the back of his hand.
She continued before he could speak. "I don't mean your work. I know you can't tell me about that. But where did you go when you apparated out of that room four years ago?" She wasn't going to let this go on any longer without knowing at least that much.
He slowly and methodically sat the cup by his feet before he spoke. When he did he stared at the monument and not at her. "You have to understand, Hermione, I was numb back then. There really isn't another word for it. I had just finished what I had quite literally been born to do. Accomplished all my life's goals at the ripe old age of 17. I had no idea who I was outside of killing Voldemort. And then he was gone and I was left." His voice was bitter and had an edge to it, even now. She thought about touching him but something in her said not to.
"The Weasley's were great, but I was suffocating there. Ginny wanted to use our relationship as a way to get over her grief about Fred, and I just wanted her to leave me alone. I was also very confused about us." He admitted, gesturing between them.
He stood up and began to pace in front of her.
"When you went to find your parents it was only Ron and I and he just wanted to play quidditch and forget the last year had even happened. But I couldn't. It's all I thought about. I relived the last year over and over again. Wondering if I could have done something different, saved more people." His voice caught and she felt a flash of guilt go through her, wondering if she should have brought this up right then.
"That's when I got it into my head that I needed to get out of there. I needed to go someplace where no one had heard of me. I wanted to run away. I wanted to go right then but I needed to see you one last time." He gave her a sad smile and a small shrug.
"I couldn't tell you where I went. I know I jumped around a lot. I know you almost caught me a couple of times. You came closer than you think once."
"Portugal." She said with a strangled voice and he just nodded.
"And then I found a place to disappear to, where I knew you couldn't follow." He wouldn't look her direction and she found she couldn't look at him right then either.
"No one knew me. I was invisible. I had enough money to live off of and.." He trailed off, taking off his glasses and scrubbing a tired hand over his face, clearly on edge. He turned so his back was towards her before he spoke again. "I drank, Hermione. For a year straight, all I did was drink."
She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Harry." She said sadly, tears springing to her eyes over the pain he must have been in.
He still didn't turn around and she saw him swallow several times. "I got into a bit of trouble with the local law enforcement and ended up in jail. I didn't know who to call, and in a moment of complete drunken arrogance I decided the Ministry owed me something, so I called Kingsley."
Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she listened to his story, not believing this could be about Harry.
"So Kingsley Shakelbolt, Minister of Magic, bailed my pathetic arse out of Muggle jail. When I sobered up the next day he was still there and I realized I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. Kingsley had a deal for me. If I stayed straight he'd put me through a sort of modified Auror training, and I would work for him personally. My only request was that I not have to return to England." Her heart clenched at his words and she tried not to take it personally.
"I can't tell you much else. I probably shouldn't have said half of what I have, but you've sussed most of it out. There have been so many times I wanted to come back, but I didn't think I deserved to after what I had done. Mr.Weasley is the only one who knew how to get ahold of me, he would pass on news about Ron and the others, but all I knew about you was that you had left for Muggle university. So many times I wanted to find you but I wouldn't let myself." Finally he turned to her, naked fear in his eyes as he waited for her reaction, clearly expecting her to leave him there and never look back.
"Don't." she said sternly "Don't feel guilty. You did what you felt you had to do." And she waited until he looked at her. "It was hard, Harry. It was so bloody hard, and no one else knows that. No one else knows what we went through, what we sacrificed! I don't look down on you for it." He tries to pull away from her but she captures his face in her hands. "Look at me." She commands and when he does her heart breaks. Her thumbs stroke the dark bruises under his eyes and she surprises herself when she lifts up and presses her lips to his. With their noses touching she whispers "I forgive you."
He's silent for a long moment and then his shoulders start shaking. She wraps one arm around his neck and pulls him down until he can rest his head above her heart and she lets him weep. He doesn't make a sound and that makes her all the more sadder for him. Her other hand coasts over his back and hair, trying to soothe.
When he's done he brings his good arm up and wraps it around her, pulling her in so close she's afraid he's going to hurt himself but she doesn't have the heart to pull away. "Thank you." He whispers throatily into her hair. Then his hand is at her jaw, coaxing it up and he's returning her kiss. It's chaste and over much too soon for her liking.
He pulls back and looks down at her and she gives him a brilliant smile. She flushes and buries her head face in his chest, shaking her head a little as if she can't herself believe what has just transpired. Then he presses his lips to her temple and gives her arm a tug.
She looks at the war monument one last time before they leave, thinking it's fitting they've had this talk here considering it was a war that had kept them apart all this time. Her fingers brush against his hand as they walk back and he gives them a squeeze before walking her to the drivers side and opening the door for her.
They are less than an hour from their destination and as they approach the border she's getting more antsy, watching the cars around them especially if anyone gets too close. She's even started fiddling with the ring again.
"Hey." Harry says suddenly "Just drive. I'm the look out, and we're fine."
She gives him a sheepish smile and tries to settle down. The traffic steadily increases as they near the border and she notices that now he's the one checking the mirrors almost constantly.
"Pull off over there." he says, startling her.
"What?"
"Pull off, just over there." and he's pointing to a shoulder on the side of the road.
By the time she's put it in park her hands are shaking. "What is it? What's wrong?"
He turns towards her and winces "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just realized we're going to have to go through border control and the men at the gate may find our freshly bruised faces highly suspicious."
She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and ran a hand over her hair. "Of course. Good catch. Do you think a few glamours would do?"
"Should be enough. Push comes to shove we can always Confound them." and she gives him a mocking glare.
When they're done the bruising had faded and all the visible cuts and scrapes are hidden. "What's our story?" she asks as she pulls back onto the highway, seeing signs for the crossing ahead.
"Second honeymoon?" he suggests and she nods once, not trusting her voice
The border agents are being thorough that day, but they buy the story of traveling through Europe as an anniversary getaway, and soon enough `Madame and Monsieur Richards' are on their way.
They're only an hour out now and with every passing mile that doesn't bring a large black car trying to kill them she feels like their chances are better. Her knee however, was starting to make itself be known again. The aspirin from that morning had worn off, along with the healing charm and she didn't think another one was going to do the trick anymore. She was also starting to feel worse, but she didn't dare tell Harry.
Her skin was hot and her headache was back, not to mention the constant throbbing from her knee. She assumed it was infected, but there was nothing she could do for it now and soon enough they would be at St. Mungo's where everything would be healed and put to new again.
They made it into the city before rush hour and found the train station easily enough. She was exhausted when she finally put the car into park and sat for an extra few seconds while Harry got the bag out of the trunk. He opened the door and peered down at her. "Alright `Mione?"
"Never better." She replied and took his proffered hand, having to grip it for balance as spots appeared before her eyes when she stood. He looked at her hard. Placing weight on her bad leg was going to be problematic she realized and had to bite her lip at the first few steps until she figured out exactly what she could and couldn't do with it.
"Hey," He said, catching her wrist "I need to know how bad it is." Auror Harry once again
"My knee's a bloody mess, probably as bad as your shoulder." She said somewhat tetchy. "I'll be alright though. I'll certainly make it until we get to the hospital." Her tone softer, and she reached a hand up to brush the fringe away from his forehead.
"You'll tell me if it gets worse." He demands and she keeps from rolling her eyes as she agrees.
Once inside she's delighted to discover that a train is leaving for London in twenty minutes and is already boarding. They quickly purchase tickets and show their passports before Harry is hustling her through the terminal as fast as her leg will allow.
His hand is at the small of her back again, but she welcomes the comfort, and soon enough he's guiding her through the cars until they find one that is completely empty.
He stows their bag with some effort having only one useable arm and then they collapse next to each other in a seat. She's exhausted from their dash to the train and feels suddenly worse. Her head fall sideways to rest on his shoulder and he lays a hand on her thigh before brushing a kiss across her forehead. "Gods `Mione, you're burning up." He says "Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"
"It wasn't. I think the walk here just did me in." She admits "I told you, I'll make it to London." He seems like he believes her but when the next steward passes by he asks for aspirin and water and swears under his breath when they tell him they're not allowed to dispense medication.
"It's ok, Harry." She assures him, covering his hand with hers.
"It's not bloody ok at all." He replies angrily. And she chooses to ignore him.
When the train departs he stops his furtive scanning of the other passengers and people milling around outside the train. "We good?" she asks tiredly
"Seem to be unless they're in another car." He admits and an involuntary shudder goes through her.
He lifts his good arm and wraps it around her shoulders tugging her towards him. "Just rest. We'll be there soon enough." He says and strokes her hair back from her face where it escaped their poorly placed clip.
It felt like only a few minutes later when he's giving her a shake and whispering her name, telling her they've arrived.
England. All of a sudden she's awake and the full impact of what she's about to experience hits her.
"What's wrong?"
"I just...I just realized I haven't been back in so long. I wonder if they'll all hate me." She admits
He runs a hand soothingly up and down her arm "They're not going to hate you. When I got back they acted like I had never left."
"Yes, well, you were always the favorite." she said petulantly but he just laughed and held her tighter "You'll be fine." He assured her.
Her head was pounding now but she didn't know if it was from her fear of the unknown or her injuries. One look at Harry let her know that their glamours had worn off. The bruising along his hairline extended almost all the way to one eye.
Fake passports out one more time and then she was in the Motherland. They made their way through the terminal and then Harry was guiding her down a dark hallway.
"Thought we could just apparate from here." He explained and she nodded, and then worried her lip as a thought crossed her mind.
"What is it?" He said, looking around them in case they had been followed.
"It's just..." And she flushed furiously, embarrassed she had to ask him this "I haven't apparated in so long, do you think you could..."
"Side along?" He finished and she just nodded her head, not wanting to meet his eyes.
"It's ok." He reassures her and wraps his arm around hers "Ready?" Waiting for her nod and then they're gone.
She's forgotten how horrible side along apparating is. She's amazed she didn't throw up as soon as they landed. As it was she had to press her head into Harry's shoulder and stand very, very still until the dizziness and sickness passed. He was stroking her hair and murmuring into her ear until finally she pushed herself back a bit.
She had never been so glad to see the familiar white walls of St. Mungo's. Everything looked the same and she felt a lump in her throat as she realized she was about to see Ron again.
She turned happy eyes to Harry "Do you think he's in the same room?"
"I wouldn't see why not." he responded and pressed a kiss to her feverish cheek "And then we're going to get you looked to."
"You too, Mr. Potter." she replied and then linked her hand in his and let him lead the way.
They managed to make it to Ron's room without being recognized for which she was grateful but when Harry pushed open the door the bed was empty. In fact if it wasn't for the very familiar knitting bag belonging to Mrs. Weasley sitting by one of the chairs she would have thought they were in the wrong place.
"Where is he?" She asked unnecessarily.
Just then a nurse walked in behind them. "Excuse me." Hermione called "Could you tell us where Ron Weasley is."
A strange look passed over the woman's face and something set off a whine of panic inside Hermione's head. "I'm sorry dear, Mr. Weasley didn't make it."