Ideal Illusions

A/N: It seems that the final chapter is actually here. And well this is the first fiction that I actually finished with it not meriting the title of a one shot. So let me make a few shout-outs to those that encouraged me to write.

First to my loyal reviewer Leah. You have always sent me a review since chapter one and hopefully you’ll present feedback on this one . This goes out to all my other reviewers as well. You guys always made my ego very pleased.

And last but not least, my beta. Nitya you rock!

Now on with the show…

His Ideal Illusion

He dreamt of many things. This was blatantly obvious that even the bum off the street could understand it. But would he understand the complications that were drawn into his dreams?

The ones his mind was boggled over. The ones that made him retch to the side. Or perhaps the ones that had her in it.

Oh, he remembered those all too well.

Where her plush pink lips would whisper sweet nothings. And had her mouth tugging into a smirk that promised something yet nothing at once.

She would always be there and inviting. Her touch, her caresses, were so substantial that when he awoke he could have sworn she snuck in and that the dream was some reality.

How did he wish for those illusions to be true. For them to cease to be mere hallucinations and commit themselves to being memories.

Long lasting memories.

He breathed out another sigh that had his companion shaking her head.

He snuck a look at her and smiled inwardly.

Given last year he would have pranced out in joy that he was near her. That she would pay attention to him not because he was famous or because of his other superficial portrayal, but solely because of him.

Given two years ago, he would have had some unexplained gurgle in the pit of his stomach. If he were to meet her own stare.

But now . . . everything had surely changed.

He almost wanted everything to go back to how it once was. At least last year he had one constant. An anchor that was metaphorically her.

She would always be there by his side and support him. She was always the one that helped him sort out his childish and the serious dilemmas.

Until now.

“Harry. You have to go back to her.”

If only it were that easy. His mouth opened up for a reply. Yet there was nothing to say.

Cho let out an exasperated grunt.

“Tell me that this issue between the both of you is not going to dissolve your friendship.”

He snorted and couldn’t help it. What friendship was there? There was never one, if he was to be truthful with the world.

Sure he voiced that declaration out. Hermione, you are my best friend.

Was that necessarily true? Deep down to the utter core of the definition of best friend?

There was always something more between them. He knew that now.

Now.

How naïve and ignorant he was back then. Even a year ago he couldn’t see this. Couldn’t see them.

“You are thinking about her.”

Don’t say nothing. Not a word.

“Your silence is an obvious indication.”

He tried to tune her out, and at the same time, his ears focused more on her words. On what she meant. Again, who would guess incorrectly that she was not in his thoughts every passing second?

“Of course I think of her.” His voice sounded so thin and almost like it held no meaning.

“Of course.” Cho repeated.

An expected silence enveloped them. He took the opportunity to look around and admire the surroundings.

The sun glowed brilliantly and the sky was a perfect baby blue. The clouds looked like some cotton bunched together from a children’s book.

Everything seemed so predictable and innocent.

He scoffed at the falsity of it. This weather would soon end and bring on the dreaded thunderstorms. He wanted the weather to change and match his morbid mood.

After all, loneliness liked company. There was no reason to disappoint it.

“You need to snap out of it.”

He whipped his head around to face the sudden spoken Cho. His brow crinkled and he stared at her in puzzlement.

She stood still and met his stare with wary.

“You don’t need this Harry. Believe me in saying that you’ll regret staying the way you are. The sooner you get this settled . . .”

The unsettling flame of anger that seemed to always be present with him now, consumed his insides. Who was she to tell him what to do?

Before he gained his better sense, he told her exact thoughts on what he thought of her comments.

Her eyes brightened with held back tears. As soon as his anger quickly came, guilt came with the same velocity.

“How can you be so selfish, Harry? You have her and yet you take her for granted.”

His guilt now evaporated. It was almost like it was never there. His pity succumbed to his growing anger.

“Selfish!” He spit out in disbelief. “You of all people accuse me of that?”

She tossed her hair aside and glared slightly.

“I know very well what is happening Harry. I am only here to help you.”

Help? She wanted to help him out?

He almost let out the threatening laughter at that thought.

“You want to help me out? You want to possibly aid me in trying to fix this disaster?”

Cho nodded her head and held her hand out.

“It is not a disaster until I say so.” She smiled despite her tears. Harry couldn’t help but mimic her.

Perhaps this was not a fiasco after all.

“You have something too special with her. A sort of bond...”

A bond . . . Yes they did have that. Or else what could have provoked her to follow him through thick and thin. Without the slightest hint of hesitation.

Unlike now.

He tore his hand away from Cho’s grasp. It was a calamity. And this situation between him and her was not going to improve anytime soon.

Especially when both of them even avoided each others gaze. It was almost like some divine force prevented him from being near her and vice versa.

He knew that the force was only there because the both of them unconsciously put it there.

Something separated them after that brisk night. And he should have thought twice then to have his proclamation of what was festering him spill out.

Cho looked ready to take his hand back. Like she wanted to reassure him that his problems were going to be settled by just her physical touch.

But her hand came to hover in midair before it dropped to her side. Harry looked at her questionably. Although his silent probe of an exclamation was answered when he looked over his shoulder.

She was like a plague; a curious disease.

Everywhere. She was there every time he didn’t want her to be.

And the seconds he searched for her familiar face, he was faced with his own mere shadow.

The wild curls he cherished deeply from her whipped around. She was running towards them in a frantic speed.

He moved neither away or forwards to her.

He saw her eyes widen at the presence of Cho. Her shaking fists trembled more. Whether it was for the passing breeze or anger, he did not know.

“I need to speak with you.”

Her skin was deathly pale and her eyes were not the classic twinkling brown he was accustomed to.

What happened to you, Hermione?

“And I mean alone.” Hermione said to Cho.

The Chinese girl nodded her head and muttered something he did not quite catch. But before she left both of them alone she stared at him.

The look in her eyes was tragic to him. As if her leaving would confirm something that was frustrating her lately. Something she did not want.

She walked towards the castle and lingered for a moment. She turned her head around to them for the last time and... walked away.

Harry looked at Hermione with a dubious expression. But she simply frowned and shook her head, telling him she’d explain in a moment why she suddenly sought him out.

She tugged on his arm and walked north, approaching a part of the Forbidden Forest.

He did not protest where she was taking him. It seemed that he turned mute and could not form any coherent thought, except those that she was near him.

She halted after ten minutes of their wandering inside the bountiful woodland. She left him for a second and crouched below a bush. Before she crawled underneath, she gestured a hand for him to follow.

His curiosity was mounting each passing second. He could not say no even if he wanted to.

He tried not to focus on the stinging of the thorns or what might be lurking around them. He followed her retreating steps and said nothing.

Finally after a while of wondering where exactly she was taking both of them, she tugged him upwards and smiled a genuine smile.

His hands dropped to his sides and his pupils tried to drink the whole scene in.

The groove they came upon looked exactly like those visions he got from reading out loud a fairy tale in a Muggle library.

Where he had no clue that there was magic. And yet . . . he truly believed in something magical from reading those fantasies.

She shyly stared at him, awaiting his approval. Her head was downcast, and those brunette curls he imagined running his fingers through, cascaded down her front.

His hand lifted and brushed across what he once called bushy hair.

It seemed the appearance gave it a false illusion. Instead of feeling tangled or frizzy even, they were velvety soft to his touch. He could spend all day there and let his fingers keep on touching . . .

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Somewhere and nowhere at once. Where your reality is gone for a moment.” she spoke softly, so softly that everything seemed so normal. It was like they never had those complications. And that was what made him feel awkward.

“Why am I here?” He was full of questions, and it was better asking these then those that wanted to erupt.

“To escape, we both need to escape.” Again she continued being vague. She looked away from him and walked to the dwindling creek.

“This is just one spot of many that I come to. It seems so peaceful and untainted . . . I almost feel guilty for bringing myself here and contaminating it with my filth.”

He stepped over a fallen branch and crouched beside her. She was shivering and looked so vulnerable at that moment.

His arms opened wide for her to snuggle into. She jumped up and hugged him tightly. Her head was burrowed deep in his chest.

“Why did we change, Harry? Everything was so simple back then.”

It was simple. There wasn’t that much to worry about. Well, at least the kind of worries that involved her.

“I try to forget about what is happening. I am trying to prevent this. I don’t want this to begin.”

His fingers curled around hers. A sickening feeling was whirling around his stomach.

“Why? What is so wrong with us? Together?”

Her eyes were bloodshot and he could see the distinct freckles sprinkled across her nose. He never thought he had seen someone so beautiful before.

“That is it. Nothing is wrong, but it is. If we progress, we leave something behind. Something we could never retain, get back.”

Their friendship would be sacrificed. He knew what the consequences were if this did not work out.

“We are worth the risk Hermione. Can you imagine if we don’t? There will always be that empty space; that feeling of being incomplete and those thoughts of ‘what if?’ Would you be able to stand that?”

Her trembling hand lifted and ran across his side of his face. She was mimicking a move, he with great care, did to her. The tip of her fingers bearably touched his cheek.

“No.” She spoke distantly.

They gazed at each other for some time. If you asked him right now how long it was, he would not be able to answer you. Only that his response would be long enough to know that she returned his feelings. And that was what mattered.

“Is this some ideal illusion? Some hallucination I am making up?”

She tossed her head back and laughed. She grabbed him by the shoulders and waved her hand around them.

“An ideal illusion? Harry, if this is, then it has to be the worst ideal illusion ever.”

What she spoke of was true. This was not a fairy tale that captivated the princess with no conflict. He was no knight in shining armor.

However, he was hers and she was his. This tale did not have a happily ever after, only a step towards a beginning.

-Finis