A/N: Hi everyone! I decided to put the last chapter right away. The sequel of this fic is already on it's sixth chapter so I'll put them up too.
Thanks for all the reviews!
Chapter 14 - This is it (My Best Friend's Wedding, Part 2)
That was it, I guess. That was it when I lost my hope. "Hermione Granger doesn't give up." Well, guess what, I was giving up. Harry made very clear when he got out of that room that I didn't have any chances. If I had achieved one thing with my ridiculous act was losing him forever.
OK, I knew I deserved it. Harry had spent the last nine years silently loving me. He had watched me going out with Ron in my seventh year. He had been by my side, as my best friend, and he had even comforted me when I cried for another guy. He had always put me above him... Seriously, I wanted to hex myself for losing the love of the best guy in this world.
I was still standing on the stage. Some people were staring at me with surprise. Others, with pity. But most of them were whispering, probably about Harry's reaction and what could have happened between us... "The couple". Ron started applauding and a second later everybody followed.
I smiled weakly and hugged Ron and Elizabeth. I wished I could have just apparated in my apartment, but I couldn't. I had to stay in that party at least until the newlyweds had left.
Nobody asked me anything. Harry was nowhere to be seen. The reception went smoothly. I tried to smile and dissimulate that the only thing I wanted to do was cry until there were no more tears left.
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It was half past two in the morning. Everybody was dancing. I really needed a time for myself, away from the cheerful crowd, so I sneaked out and walked towards the pergola that was in the garden. The night was a little cold, but I didn't care.
I didn't understand why Harry was acting like that. I knew he was mad, and he had every right to think I wasn't worthy of his trust. But he knew me, probably better than anyone else. He knew I wouldn't play with his feelings on purpose. Why couldn't he gave me a chance?
Well... Maybe someday he would put all this behind us, and maybe we could be friends again... But I didn't want him as a friend! I tried to picture my life without Harry in it, and I realized I couldn't stand it. He was too important.
If I hadn't been so damn blind...
"I'm so stupid!" I said aloud, my voice filled with anger and sadness.
"Yes, you are."
I gasped. I didn't need to turn around to see who had spoken. I would recognize his voice anywhere. I stayed where I was, not daring to face him. I thought he had gone home. I felt him coming nearer and he stood by my side. I was leaning against some sort of balcony in the pergola and he leaned as well.
"Sorry about that," I said finally, with a tiny voice. I still wasn't looking at him.
"About what?" he asked, after a long pause.
"About that song... It was stupid. I don't know why I did it. I realize it was embarrassing for you."
"It wasn't embarrassing."
"Then why..?"
"I shouldn't have left like that. It was a ridiculous reaction."
I shook my head "No, it wasn't. I deserved it."
"If you say so," Harry, said shrugging. I was looking down, and I only heard his voice. I didn't know what expression he had.
"Look Harry, I..."
"Shhhh," he said, silencing me. "Don't say anything right now."
"But I need to tell you something," I said, stubbornly.
"I don't want to hear it."
"Well, you're going to hear me out, because..."
"For Christ's sake, Hermione, for once in your life, would you please shut up?" he said, raising his voice. I lifted my head to look at him for the first time. He was looking at me, directly in the eyes. He had a determined look in his face. I shut up immediately, but not because he had told me to, but because I found myself out of words.
Had I ever realized he was that handsome?
"I'm going to do the talking now," Harry said. He was extremely serious and I felt that my heart was beating faster... Or was it slower? I couldn't heard it anymore.
He took a deep breath.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking since I got away from the house... And I have started to see things with cool head. During the past two hours, I've been trying to understand your actions and my reactions. And I think I've finally got it." He made a pause and I didn't dare to interrupt him. "When I realized you would never return my feelings... A couple of years ago," he said quickly when he saw I was going to ask him 'when'. "I made a promise to myself. That I would be by your side no matter what. That I would be happy when you found the man you truly loved. I thought that I'd rather be your best friend that not being anything at all. I just couldn't stand to be without you, so I said to myself that I had to be strong and bear with everything."
He smiled slightly, as he was remembering the day he had made that promise to himself. He wasn't looking at me anymore. I didn't know where he was going with all that. I wanted so much to say something to him, but I couldn't.
"And then, about two weeks ago, I started thinking about you and me again, not as friends, but as something more. We had became closer since Ron had left for the States, and I stupidly thought that maybe, if I told you how I felt, you would said that you loved me too... It was hard. Every time I tried to tell you, I chickened out. I was too afraid that I could lose everything I had with you... And then Ron came back. And you said that you had realized that you were in love with him, after all."
He was looking down. I thought that maybe he wasn't looking at me, because it would make it harder for him to say what he was going to say. Whatever that was.
"I won't deny it hurt me. Because that meant that all my hopes were in vain. But I had to kept my promise, and that was why I helped you with that story. And because I couldn't say no to you. I tried to ignore the jealousy and all that. I wanted you to be happy. Deep down in my heart, I had the feeling that Ron would marry Liz anyway, but I didn't tell you that, because I wanted that to happen... Does that make any sense?" he asked me.
I nodded.
"But today, when I saw you kissing Ron, everything changed," he continued, and his voice became softer. "I realized that, after all, I couldn't kept that promise. I couldn't be happy seeing you with another guy. And yes, I was surprised when I found out what you have done to split them apart, but that is not the reason why I got mad. I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself for being selfish and naïve, because, you know what? I still had hope. I went to that lunch to tell you what I felt for you, because I didn't think I was going to be able to kept it inside me any longer."
Another pause, longer than the previous one followed. Harry had gone through a lot, and I still didn't understand why I hadn't seen what was going on. He wasn't the selfish one. I was.
"I couldn't be with you like that, so I thought it was better to just not see you anymore. I knew it was going to be hard, but it would be better in the long term for both of us... And then you came and told me that you were in love with me too. And I swear, Herm, that my world fell apart. I had made my resolution, I was determined and you came with that... I didn't want to believe you... It scared... it scares me to death. It's too risky for me to accept that maybe you are telling the truth and forget about what I had decided. You understand, don't you?"
I swallowed hard and nodded again. I understood how he felt. And if it was that what he wanted, to stay away from me, I would have to deal with it... But how? Harry was silent. I didn't want him to see me crying again, so I turned around. But even though he wasn't seeing my face, I knew he could heard my sobs.
"Herm," he said after a while.
"It's OK, Harry. You're right," I started walking away.
"I haven't finished yet."
I stopped, but I didn't turn around. I didn't want to hear anything else.
"As I said, it's too risky for me... But then again, I'm Harry Potter, right? When have risks stopped from doing what I want? Not even Voldemort could ever stopped me."
I turned around slowly to face him. This time, his eyes were sparkling and he wasn't looking down anymore. He was looking at me. And smiling.
"I... don't get what you're saying," I said.
"I'm saying that, after all, I won't have to call the newspapers and deny that I'm in love with you," he said slowly.
I gasped. He laughed at my astonished expression and walked towards me. He took my hand in his.
"Hermione, I love you," he said, and it was as if I had just realized for the first time. All this afternoon, this wedding... Nothing had happened.
"I love you too," I said and started laughing.
This was right. This was all I had ever wanted. Harry was the man I loved, and there was no doubt left when he kissed me. Because I felt so many things when our lips touched, that if that wasn't love, nothing else could have been.
We kissed again and again, never getting tired. Finally, after what seemed an hour, Harry pulled away, and pressed his forehead against mine.
"I have one condition, though," he whispered.
"What is it?" I asked, a little afraid.
"From now on, I'll cook."
~*~ THE END ~*~