Disclaimer: Not mine, even though I wish it were.
This story was originally posted on FAP back in March, before the release of OotP. So technically it's AU, but I've tried to make it as true as possible.
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Seventeen-year-old Harry Potter walked up the spiral staircase to Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's office with many different thoughts circling his mind. He had requested to see the Headmaster earlier in the day after having a vision about Voldemort the previous night. He also requested that Dumbledore find Sirius and get him to Hogwarts for their meeting, if at all possible. Harry was almost certain what the vision meant, but he wanted to get reassurance from his mentor and his godfather before doing anything drastic.
Harry walked into the Headmaster's office to see Sirius sitting in a chair talking with Dumbledore. They were both in large, high back chairs in front of the fireplace, with an open chair obviously for Harry. Sirius was visibly worried about the situation, for his face was very long and dark. It reminded Harry of when he first saw Sirius after he had escaped from Azkaban. Harry wondered why he looked so gloomy, since he hadn't even told Dumbledore why he needed to meet with them, just that it involved Voldemort.
Dumbledore and Sirius both stood up from their seats when they saw Harry enter the room. Dumbledore walked over to greet Harry, who now stood eye-to-eye with his mentor.
"Mr. Potter, as you can see, I was able to find Sirius as you requested. Luckily he wasn't too far away, so I won't take too much credit," Dumbledore quipped. Harry gave a quick smile as he glanced at Sirius and noticed that he too was smiling.
Harry then remembered that he wasn't there for a mere visit with his godfather and the Headmaster, and responded to the two men he respected the most.
"Thank you, Professor. I take it you have figured out why I asked to see the two of you."
Sirius gave a deep sigh, and Harry immediately began to think about how well his godfather knew him. They'd only known each other for four years, but they had an unspoken bond that was much like that of a father and son. Harry sometimes wondered if Sirius could read his mind. It appeared this was one of those moments.
"I wish we could see each other under better circumstances, Harry, but am I right in assuming you had another vision about Voldemort?" Sirius had regained the gloomy look in his eyes that Harry noticed when he first entered Dumbledore's office.
He had walked over to Harry and put his arm around Harry in a very fatherly gesture, which calmed his nerves immensely. Maybe this won't be so hard after all, Harry thought.
Harry nodded as Sirius and Dumbledore steered him over to the chairs in front of the fireplace. The chairs were in a half-circle, and Harry took the seat to the far left, with Sirius sitting next to him, and Dumbledore on the other side. Harry sat back in his chair and got comfortable. He knew this wasn't going to be a five-minute meeting. Sirius leaned forward, ready to take everything in, and Dumbledore sat back and took command of the situation.
"Well Harry, your record in the past demands that we take what you have to say seriously, so you may begin whenever you are ready."
Harry took a deep breath and adjusted himself in his chair once more. He wasn't exactly sure where to begin, and his scar was beginning to ache again, though not as bad as when he awoke this morning. He was able to block it out most of the day, but now he was faced with the horrible thoughts again, and the pain was numbing.
"The first thing I remember is being out on the grounds. It was a sunny and warm afternoon, but I remember thinking it was weird that I was the only one outside on such a nice day. I walked around for a few minutes, and then I heard someone walking behind me, so I took out my wand and turned around. It was," Harry stopped abruptly when he realized the dream had nothing to do with Voldemort. Not this one anyways. He looked quickly to Sirius, who was itching with anticipation. Harry tried not to look nervous about what his godfather was thinking, but Sirius jumped in with a question almost immediately.
"Was it Voldemort, Harry?" Sirius was so certain about the answer to that question that he immediately wondered why he asked it in the first place. He knew it had nothing to do with Voldemort, but that's whom the three of them were there to discuss, so it was his way of staying on topic. I'll talk to him later about this other dream, Sirius thought.
"No, I apologize," Harry replied, "That's a different dream, and it has nothing to do with Voldemort. Sorry." Harry glanced over to Dumbledore, who looked calm as usual, and then to his godfather. Sirius knows something else is going on, he thought. Harry tried his best to look nonchalant, but he knew he would have to explain everything later, and he wasn't looking forward to it.
"Whatever you say, Harry. You may continue when ready," Dumbledore responded. Harry noticed Sirius' eyes looking straight at him, eagerly waiting for what he had to say. He took a deep breath and sat forward in his seat as well, wanting to concentrate and not leave any detail out.
"I'm ready, sir. The first thing I remember is being in a cemetery. It was the same cemetery from my encounter with Voldemort during fourth year. I recognized many of the same headstones, including the one of Tom's father. I remember wondering how I got there, but I think I must have gone there on my own. Wormtail was there also. Voldemort said to me something like 'I knew you would come.'" Harry paused for a moment so Sirius and Dumbledore could absorb what he had said so far. Sirius flinched at the mention of Wormtail, and Harry noticed that his godfather was now clenching his hands together as if to ring someone's neck. After a moment of silence, Harry continued. "Voldemort then told me he had waited sixteen years for this day, and that he was finally strong enough to defeat anyone who stood in his way. He said it was my fault his master plan had failed, and that I would pay for the sixteen years I took from him."
"Wow, Harry. Sounds like you really pissed him off," Sirius retorted, his smile falling from his face once he realized that Harry wasn't amused at his attempt at a joke.
"That's not all," Harry continued with a seriousness neither Dumbledore nor Sirius had seen before. He had a feeling that once he finished telling them what he had seen that his fate would be sealed, and with that in mind, he continued. "The next thing I remember is Voldemort and I dueling and it being light out. But when I think of it now, it was dark when I first saw him in the cemetery, and it changed from light to dark a few different times." Harry's voice trailed off as he watched the expression on Sirius' face. Once again on the edge of his seat, Sirius scratched his head.
"Did you see how the duel ends, Harry?" Sirius wore a genuine look of concern for his godson. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer to his question or not, but he continued to look at Harry awaiting an answer. If I know maybe I can help in some way, he thought.
Harry was thrown back by Sirius's question, but tried not to make it obvious. He hoped he wouldn't have to answer that question, but with Sirius and Dumbledore now staring at him waiting for his answer, he knew it wouldn't be possible. "The last thing I remember is both of us being extremely worn out. We both cast a spell at the same time, and then I woke up." Once again Harry hoped his audience wouldn't ask any more questions about what he saw. He seemed to relax a bit when Sirius sat back in his chair, obviously in deep thought. But the anxiety returned when Sirius jumped to the edge of his seat once again in preparation to speak.
"I know this is difficult Harry, but do you remember what the spells were?"
Harry's hopes of not having to divulge this information were crushed as he looked woefully at his shoes and began to scratch his head. There was no getting around the subject now. He would tell Sirius and Dumbledore what he remembered, and then brace himself for their reaction.
"I remember mouthing words, but I can't recall what they were."
"What about Voldemort? Can you remember what spell he used?"
Harry looked at his godfather and recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same look of worry Sirius was wearing when he walked into Dumbledore's office. Harry adjusted himself in his seat once again, and ran his hand through his hair, something he was told reminded many people of his father, and prepared his response after sighing heavily.
"Yeah, I do," he said, immediately looking down. He didn't want to see the look on Sirius' face when he finished what he had to say. It would be too difficult. "It was Avada Kedavra."
Sirius did a double take at the mention of these words. Harry caught his reaction out of the corner of his eye and prepared himself to answer the many questions he knew were coming by sitting up to face Sirius and Dumbledore once again. As Sirius sat in what appeared to be a state of shock, Dumbledore spoke for one of the first times during their meeting. This is it, Harry thought.
"Harry, it appears to me that you have most of this already worked out in your head. You must understand what this means, or it wouldn't be nagging you."
"I do Professor," Harry replied as he nodded in agreement. He noticed Sirius break out of shock and look at him in bewilderment before becoming very angry and vocal.
"Would someone mind filling me in on why we are so calm about Harry going off to meet his death?" Sirius exclaimed while jumping out of his chair. His reaction scared Harry, whose green eyes became narrow. No one said anything for a minute, giving Sirius a chance to settle down. Once he got the rage out of his system, He sat back in his chair and glanced apologetically at Dumbledore and Harry.
"Sirius, Voldemort has to be stopped. It's me he wants. I have to go to that cemetery again and finish this once and for all. If it means I have to sacrifice myself, then so be it." Harry noticed Sirius looking for words to jump in, so he continued before Sirius had the opportunity. "I know exactly what you're thinking, but don't. I've been thinking about the possibility of this war coming down to this for a couple of years now, and if I have to sacrifice myself to save the lives of innocent people, then I have to do it."
Sirius thought about yelling at Harry, but thought twice. He realized that Harry had his mind made up, and if there was one thing he had learned in the years since he was reacquainted with his godson, it was that his stubbornness rivaled that of his mother and father. He conceded his verbal battle with Harry by sighing deeply and sitting back in his chair before speaking.
"I don't agree with you, but I reckon you will do this with or without my consent, so just be careful. Your parents would be very proud of the man you've become, Harry."
Harry thought he saw Sirius wipe a tear from his eye, but couldn't be sure. Sirius did make him think, though. For the first time, Harry began to think about everyone he would be leaving behind. His expression turned from boldness to apprehension, and now he was the one discreetly wiping a tear from his eye. He hoped no one would notice, but Dumbledore soon broke the uneasy silence that filled the room, telling Harry he had indeed noticed.
"I believe the two of you are forgetting one very important detail of this situation," Dumbledore began. "You cast a spell as well, Harry. And while you may be ready to sacrifice yourself in order to defeat Voldemort, you must also consider the possibility that there is another way." Dumbledore calm as always, sitting back in his chair with his hands clasped together and looking over his half-moon spectacles. Harry and Sirius, on the other hand, were dumbfounded. Both tried to speak at the same time, but when Sirius turned to see the look on Harry's face, he conceded and let him speak.
"But Professor, we all know there's no way to block the curse. I have to face the fact that I probably won't live to see my eighteenth birthday." Harry exuded a feigned bravado now. Deep down, he was scared more than he had ever been before.
Dumbledore recognized the fear in Harry's voice (he had heard it before) and interjected almost before Harry could finish his statement. "Harry, I'm not sure that I've ever told you this before, but you are one of the most talented, as well as humble, wizards to ever walk the halls of Hogwarts. I have watched you grow over the last seven years, and aside from you and your friends' rule breaking, you have also saved this school many times from the likes of Voldemort. There is no doubt in my mind that you will face him once again and come out victorious."
"Thank you, Professor. That means a great deal coming from you," Harry replied, his emerald green eyes wide from the compliment he just received from his mentor.
The three of them sat quietly for a moment before Dumbledore stood up and began to direct Harry and Sirius to the door. It was getting late, and Harry had classes the next morning. His eyes heavy, Harry began to think about his comfortable bed that awaited him: the springy mattress, the warm sheets, and fluffy pillow, and hopefully minus the scar aching and visions of him and Voldemort dueling to the death.
"Harry, I have only a couple more things to ask of you before you leave," Dumbledore said. "I think it would be best for you to wait until after graduation to leave as not to attract any unneeded attention." Harry and Sirius nodded in agreement, and Dumbledore continued. "I also believe it would be best if you wait to tell Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley of your plans until the evening you leave. You should enjoy the rest of the time you have here, Harry, and telling them sooner will only make it more difficult."
Harry agreed with this as well, but as he and Sirius turned toward the staircase and began descending, he couldn't help but think about how hard it was going to be. He had to play along for a week with his best friends and pretend like nothing was wrong. Harry was almost certain that Ron and Hermione would notice he wasn't telling them something, but he would have to do his best to throw them off the trail.
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Harry continued to be in deep thought as he and Sirius walked down the hall from Dumbledore's office. Both had been silent thus far, and Harry secretly hoped Sirius wouldn't mention anything about his little slip-up earlier. With every step, Harry became more confident that his godfather had shrugged it off, but as they approached an empty classroom a few minutes later, Sirius stopped Harry and looked at him while putting a hand on his shoulder. Wishful thinking, Harry thought.
"We need to talk, and I think you know what it's about." Sirius stared at Harry as he nodded and immediately looked down to his shoes as they walked into the classroom.
Harry felt defeated as they found seats toward the front of the classroom. He had never told anyone about that dream before, not even Ron. And now he was spilling all to Sirius, which he finally concluded wouldn't be so bad. At least he knew Sirius wouldn't spread it all over school. Harry continued to stare at his shoes in deep thought until Sirius caught his attention by waving his hands in front of Harry's face.
"Harry, I'm not going to beat around the bush," Sirius began. Harry's eyes had now returned to his shoes, where he was beginning to analyze the stitching. "The person in the other dream you talked about tonight was a girl, and you love her." Harry's head bolted up to stare Sirius straight into his eyes.
"How…I…"
"And you've loved her for a while now. That's why you got that scared puppy dog look on your face in Dumbledore's office tonight. It was the first time you thought about losing her."
Harry looked down once again, but this time he wasn't sure what to say. How did Sirius know? Was he that obvious? And if Sirius knew, did she know? Does he know who it is? Harry's head was exploding with questions, but none of them could find his mouth. He just sat there. He looked up to Sirius, and with only his eyes asked him, what should I do?
Sirius noticed the battle going on in Harry's head. He began to think of reasons why Harry hadn't said anything to her already. He's scared, he thought. Sirius was almost certain who the girl was, but he didn't want to shock Harry more than he already had. He read the look in his eyes and thought about what to tell him. Sirius once again placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and reassured him.
"Tell her how you feel Harry, as hard as it may be. And then do everything in your power to come back."
Harry simply nodded. He still couldn't find any words. Earlier in the day he had everything under control, and now his life was in a tailspin. Sirius was right, but it was going to be difficult. Finally, he found some words, though not very many, and managed to tell Sirius "thank you."
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While in bed that night, Harry's mind was racing. His thoughts jumped from how to block an unblockable curse to the discussion he had with Sirius in the empty classroom. He couldn't help but think that Sirius knew more than he was letting on, that he knew Harry was in love with Hermione.