Eyes Wide Open
Ginny keeps her eyes open the whole time. She is the first girl he remembers making love to who has done so. What a wonderful quirk, he thinks. Draco kisses her sweet lips with all the tenderness he can muster, unable to fully express the epiphany he has just experienced.
The cover of his bed is rumpled, neither bothering to pull it down to uncover the sheets. He stands to pour himself a glass of water. He's covered in her scent. His throat is hoarse and dry.
"Do you have a bathtub in this enormous place?" she asks, sitting up now.
He nods and points to the door in the corner of his room. She runs the water and he can hear her getting in. He decides to join her. His small tub barely contains the two of them.
He soaps her, his hands lingering over her breasts, lathering them until they shine like pink pearls. She lies back on his chest and sighs. Draco tries to manipulate himself into a position where he can enter her, but the tub is too small and so he closes his eyes, thinking about the exquisite beauty pressed against him. He runs his fingers through her tousled hair and sucks in his breath as she wraps her hand around him..
A surge passes through his body and he lets her control him for a while, her soft wet hands gliding across his erection. He slips a finger into her sex and feels the unbearable heat there. She moans softly.
"You're so sensitive," he remarks.
"I know, I know," she replies.
#
She makes it back to the Burrow in time for the Weasley's annual Christmas Party, and he sulks around most of the day. He doesn't bother asking when she'll return, or even if she'll return. To be honest, he hadn't expected her to visit at all. Giving her that map had been a desperate act of wishful thinking, so when he had heard the tunnel door opening up, his blood had surged with anticipation.
He is still daydreaming about their most recent encounter. He decides that he wants her, despite the consequences.
Lucius comes into his room, his face flushed, something about wanting Draco to accompany him to an important meeting. He's put off by his son's melancholy mood and decides he'll have to force him to leave his room today. He doesn't do it out of concern for the young man.
It's Christmas Eve after all.
His Christmas is filled with expensive gifts, all from his mother who has dutifully signed his father's name to a few of the tags. Lucius doesn't bother to join them for Christmas dinner, but Draco prefers it that way anyhow.
He buys something for her. Pink pearl earrings that he thinks will go with her red hair. That's when he realizes it isn't just the sex.
#
He masturbates often, thinking of her endlessly and recalling desperate images of her body, her taste, and the fiery color of her hair. Draco has to wait six agonizing days until she visits again.
As soon as he sees her face, she bursts into tears unexpectedly, and he clumsily attempts to comfort her.
Her eldest brother Charlie has been killed by Death Eaters. He thinks of the mark on his father's arm and shudders. He is terrified that his father is involved somehow.
She seems to know what he is thinking, and lets her head rest against his chest. She doesn't blame him.
She came into his life like a powerful wave, but he doesn't want her to be the wave anymore. He wants her to be his ocean. He wants to be surrounded by her all of the time.
She calms down some, and kisses him. He feels like he should hold back, but she urges him on. She wants to be comforted like this.
He makes love to her as gently as he can, kissing her face, tasting her salty tears. He holds her afterwards, abandoning their usual post coital games, and he just listens. She describes her family, and he suppresses the pang of jealousy he feels when she talks about her parents.
Draco doesn't say much about his family life. Living with pain is a boring story.
She confesses that her body aches for him, that she feels like she can't concentrate as much anymore. She hates lying so much, telling her family she's going out with a friend or going shopping in Hogsmeade.
Draco nods. He hasn't had to lie to anyone except Pansy Parkinson. She had come to visit him right before the holiday break. They were occasional lovers, for convenience sake. He turned her away, not aroused by her anymore. He told her hadn't met anyone else. Pansy was angry, but not heartbroken. She didn't love him.
#
"Your eyes are so beautiful, they're such a lovely shade of silver when you're above me, making love to me," Ginny says two weeks later.
"They're nothing special," he answers, but he obsesses over this remark.
She is still under him and he is hesitant to move. She allows him to linger.
"I don't think we can do this when we go back to school, it'll be too hard," she says, letting her sense of guilt take over.
"Don't. Let's not talk about this now, lets just let whatever happens... happen." He kisses her.
Draco isn't willing to let her go that easily. He needs her against him, around him… underneath of him. She sighs, relents and kisses him back.
"I still can't believe this has happened. I can't believe I'm Draco Malfoy's lover," she whispers.
He wonders, when they are found out, will he be able to do the decent thing and just fade away…letting her get on with her life.
#
The winter has deepened and their break is over. Draco sees Potter and Weasley walking towards him. He panics for a moment, then quickly musters up an appropriate sneer.
"Malfoy," the red head says. Potter utters the same.
"Well, if it isn't the dynamic duo…" he begins, earning a snicker from Goyle.
Harry shifts uncomfortably. "I'm not going to beat around the bush Malfoy, but rumor has it that you know something about what happened to Hagrid."
"Not a thing," Draco replies truthfully, "What's happened to that overgrown ape anyhow?"
Ron tries to grab him, but Harry stops him, for some reason believing Draco.
"Hagrid is missing, and I swear if we find out you know something you aren't telling, us I'll kill you myself."
Draco shakes his head, laughing a little, and walks away. He truly detests these "holier than thou" do-gooders. He can't bring himself to hurl insults at Ron thou, and Goyle notices. He thinks Harry might have too.
"What the hell was that? You didn't even hex them!" Goyle says.
"I don't have time to deal with Weasel and Potty. I've decided not to waste my breath on them anymore," Draco replies, saving face.
Goyle nods slyly. Draco thinks he couldn't have picked more idiotic people to be around.
#
They find Hagrid's body a week later. Ginny tells him it was an accident. Hagrid was killed by one of his own beloved creatures. Draco is just glad he isn't another victim of the company his family keeps. Ginny is broken up about it though, and he is glad he's there to comfort her again.
Draco is just grateful that she still comes to him. He has had to make excuses to be alone, to leave Goyle and Crabbe at lunch, to feign sudden illness. She is worth it.
They have an unspoken agreement now. No false promises, no whispers of marriage and family. No "I love you".
Draco is aware of what his father would do to him if he found out he is with a Weasley. She is aware of how her family would react as well.
He reaches for her once more that night…making love to her with her brilliant blue eyes wide open.