Commencement by msscribe Disclaimer: No profits are being made off the fiction on these pages. Harry Potter, associated characters and the associated Harry Potter universe is © J. K. Rowling and respective publishers. Fanfiction is fiction-it's not meant to be taken seriously in the least.
"I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire…
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
…and I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how
to let you go," Sarah Mclachlan
Draco's room at Hogwarts is absolutely bare, except for his bed, a few chairs and a desk - all of which were there when he had arrived seven years ago. Last night they drank his last bottle of wine and made love until they were too tired to move. They woke up the next morning sticky and smug, comfortable with quiet chatter, but in complete denial about the importance of the day ahead of them.
Ginny is peeking over at Draco in his Graduation robes, feeling foolishly adolescent. He is sitting next to Crabbe, and the empty chair on his other side is where Goyle would have sat had he lived to see this day. No one ever talked about it. Even Draco hadn't said much to her other than the fact that Goyle's father didn't show up to the funeral. She knew he felt the loss, even if Goyle wasn't the best person, he had still been Draco's companion all of these years.
She is sitting next to her mother and father with Percy, Bill, Fred and George behind them. She is nervously twisting her flowered dress into a knot. She does this twice more, and then tries to focus on Ron, Harry and Hermione who are sitting two rows behind Draco. Ron waves up at them. She flashes her most brilliant smile and enthusiastically waves back.
"Looks like you're the only one left dear," her mother whispers in her ear, smiling supportively.
Ginny tries to sit quietly on the long, horizontal stretch of red vinyl that lines the bleacher seats. Nobody can see her eyes wander behind the darkened lenses of her sunglasses as she surveys the crowd. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy are sitting next to a jittery blonde witch and a large man with a bad complexion she assumes are Crabbe's parents.
Narcissa Malfoy is beautiful, like Draco. She can't help but be drawn in by Narcissa's delicate features and her tall, graceful figure. She is the very picture of refinement. Ginny closes her eyes and tries to imagine what Narcissa looks like doing everyday things. She also wonders if that desolate look that Draco's mother wears is a permanent fixture. Her gaze lingers on the woman's lips, having kissed similar ones a hundred times or more.
"Snap the picture Arthur! Ron's about to go up!" her mother says, waving her arm in the air furiously now.
This morning Ginny had blurted out casually to Draco, "If we want to continue this…we can slip away after Dumbledore begins the luncheon with his Welcome Great Wizards and Witches speech. If one of us thinks its better to not keep seeing each other, then we can remain seated." He had nodded in agreement. She hadn't made her choice yet as to what she would do. They had toyed with the idea of running away for a week over the summer, but neither of them had been brave enough to make any real plans.
Her world would probably be emptier and more monotonous after he left, but the daily agony of having to cover up something that had consumed most of her thoughts these past eight months would be gone. And the silent threat that hung in the air since they had begun their affair, the threat of them being found out by Ron, wouldn't seem so ominous.
Dumbledore's voice rings out over the packed stadium as he begins to say the graduate's names one by one. The day is warm, but the air is as clear as spring water. Ron…then Harry…then Hermione…all take their walk across the stage area.
"Draco Malfoy," Dumbledore says, followed by civil applause. Her stomach drops. Her heart follows.
He takes his walk. Her parents aren't paying much attention. It only takes a couple of minutes before Draco is seated again, but he looks up at his mother. Then he looks up at Ginny. It's a quick glance, but long enough for her to notice.
Ginny tries to stay focused. She knew there would be strong feelings, but she hadn't expected to be overwhelmed by it. She is shaking. Then a tear falls down her cheek. Her mother wraps an arm around her.
"Oh, sweetheart…I know how much you'll miss Ron. But he'll be an Auror along with Percy and Harry. Maybe you'll work for the Ministry too after graduation," she says sweetly.
Ginny is relieved that her emotional outbreak is not out of place there. At least two other witches are sobbing louder than her. One of them blows her nose into a scarf a little too close to Fred's head.
Then Hermione walks to the podium, and like summer rain, her voice breaks through Ginny's cloud of sadness. She listens.
"Commencement means a beginning; a start…" preaches Hermione Granger, class Valedictorian.
#
Draco and his parents enter the great hall for the graduation luncheon. He looks around for Ginny, spotting her next to her mother at the Gryffindor table. Ginny is wearing a sleeveless dress patterned with flowers that accentuate her slender curves. Her hands are clutching Ron's newly awarded certificate. She loops her arm through her brother's. Ron smiles lovingly at her.
Draco looks away then, not able to stomach any more. His mother puts her cool hand on his shoulder, and they walk the hall, greeting those with similar tastes and lifestyles. They will never cross the aisle towards the Weasley's. His family's public time is a facade designed to make them seem decent, maybe even respectable, but they still wouldn't dare to cross the aisle. Draco's demeanor is nonchalant, an attitude he perfected when he was barely old enough to talk. His father leans in closer to inspect his face. Satisfied with his son's appearance, Lucius parades him around like an entry at a county fair.
Draco can feel her eyes on him. He loves to catch her watching. Her eyelids, with their long reddish lashes, flutter rapidly trying to look away.
#
"So what is it that you're doing again?" Ginny asks Hermione.
Hermione tilts her head, raising her eyebrows. "I'm going to be a researcher, which means I dig up evidence and information for people in Harry and Ron's position. Honesty Ginny, it isn't all that hard to understand!"
"I guess it seems to suit you, but I can't imagine the three of you not being in constant danger together," Ginny quips.
Harry and Ron find this amusing for some reason. Hermione doesn't, but bites her tongue. Ginny needs an excuse to move around. There is already a line beginning to form at the fountain in the middle of the room that is filled to the brim with pumpkin juice.
"Anyone else want some?" Ginny offers.
"Thanks honey," her mother says quickly, waving over at Colin Creevy's family to come and join them.
Harry is giving Ginny the strangest looks, and he hasn't said much to her today. She wonders if Draco might have lied to her about him knowing, but she doubts he would have shared such a personal confidence with Harry.
Ginny looks over to see if Draco notices her moving closer to where he is standing. He doesn't seem to. Narcissa is still looking out at nothing, standing perfectly still next to Lucius. Ginny thinks maybe Mrs. Malfoy has mastered the art of sleeping standing up. Feeling safer not being so near her family, she lets her eyes travel back to Draco. He catches her this time.
His eyes are surprisingly sad. She wonders if he's decided to end it. She hadn't considered that he'd be the one to break it off. The collar on his robe is open, and she can see wisps of wiry blond hair peeking out at the base of his neck. She takes a deep breath and forces her legs to work again. The fountain is so close to them. She reaches out and slowly curls her hand around the stem of a glass, trying not to break it.
#
Ginny's hair is slightly mussed from being outside. Draco likes the look, although it is a stark contrast to his mother's who has every strand in place. Her lips are slightly parted, and she is breathing with the same slow deep rhythm that he would often fall asleep listening to. He knows he's caused this reaction in her. She's moving more swiftly now, trying to escape his scrutiny.
"Draco will be helping me in my business endeavors," Lucius brags to the witch next to him, the mother of Millicent Bulstrode. Her jet-black hair is sprayed into a stiff up-do and her bright red lipstick goes far beyond the natural outline of her porcine lips. The woman leans over to kiss Draco's cheek, and her perfume is so distracting that he temporarily loses sight of Ginny.
#
Ginny returns to the table with their juice intact, but her psyche greatly affected. She mulls over their tentative plans. Welcome Great Wizards and Witches… Welcome Great Wizards and Witches…The words loll around in her head like some psychotic's mantra. She wants everyone to take their seats; she needs for Dumbledore to officially begin the lunch. She remains standing near the door. She sees Draco lean in to speak to his mother and walk slowly towards the other door. He's not looking at her now. He doesn't want to push her one way or the other.
Filch is standing close to her, watching her. He belches and it echoes loudly in her ear. His teeth are gray and there seems to be dirt in every wrinkle of his skin. He isn't concerned with Ginny though. He's too busy downing a mug of pumpkin juice.
"Gin?" Ron says, walking up behind her. She is startled. "Don't you want to sit down?"
She shakes her head no.
"Not yet, I need to visit the bathroom after Dumbledore starts."
Ron looks at her puzzled for a moment, then shrugs it off. "All right. We'll save you a seat."
Ron is so wonderful to her. Why can't she just concentrate on him? She thinks about sitting down again.
It's over. No more lies, no more midnight visits, no more fire…no more of his taste, no more burying herself in his chest.
Her head is all swimmy and her feet are swelling from standing in Hermione's chunky heeled shoes which are a size too small, but fit perfectly with her outfit. She closes her eyes trying to forget his hands on her, but she can't.
She remains standing.
"Welcome Great Wizards and Witches..."
Cool air blasts in as she opens the door. She walks fast, listening to his footsteps a safe distance behind her.
#
They reach the edge of the forest, near where Hagrid used to live. No one is following her but him. She ducks behind the run down structure, and fiddles with the lock on the storage shed. It's practically empty; they have used this spot before. They hurry inside and he presses against her back before she can spin around to face him.
"I loved the feeling of your eyes on me," he whispers over her shoulder.
Ginny takes a deep breath and reaches behind her, grabbing his thighs. He grabs her hips and holds her still. His head slumps to her shoulder and he bites tenderly on her neck. She places her palm against his growing erection, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Draco," she says, holding her breath in anticipation.
He spins her around and pulls her tight against him. He's kissing her so hard now that she has to fight for air.
"I can't let you go," he says.
"I know," she replies.
He grabs two handfuls of her dress and begins to raise it. The first contact of his hands on her bare skin send a flash of panic through her. He moves her hair from her forehead and stares intently at her.
"Will you still come to me?" he asks, kissing her fingertips, then moving his hand to her lips.
All the reasons why…so many reasons why not… too many reasons why…
Ginny's breathing is complex, and very reactive to his right hand that is busy making tiny circles on her stomach. When he kisses her again, she cannot exhale without moaning.
He presses her back against the wall and they stumble together to the wooden floor. His robes come off. Her hands slide across his chest and he has his arms around her so tightly that she feels she couldn't escape even if she wanted to. The ceiling of the shed is glued with square tiles, and a light coming from a tiny whole in the roof dimly illuminates the windowless interior. Draco's body is outlined in that small glimmer of light as he moves over her. She twines her arms around his waist, offering her throat to him as her head falls back. Draco finds the small dip in her neck where he can feel her pulse, and kisses it. She lifts herself against him, and he thinks he might go out of his mind if he doesn't make love to her soon.
"Will you still come to my bed?" he asks again
He yanks her panties down to her ankles. Her small voice subsides into a teary mumble.
"Leave the light on," she says, not denying him any longer.
He slips his hand between her thighs. Then he pushes apart her legs, angling her beneath him. She moves obediently to his touch, wrapping him close as he sinks into her again, his name falling from her lips like a prayer.
A/N: The next chapter "Landmarks" will be lighter in some ways. Thanks to Sydney Lynne, Kristen Elizabeth, Blazefury, Babygrrl *huggles Babygrrl*, Nappa (of course!), Sabacat, Tara, Observer, Ella, Nisreena, Lissane, 714, Davis_517, Clarabella_21, SarahKJames, Claire, Leanne, Destiny and the lovely Evelyn who is more appreciated than she knows. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone. **Apologizes profusely if I have**