After the Dance by msscribe Disclaimer: No profits are being made off the fiction on these pages. Harry Potter, associated characters and the associated Harry Potter universe is © J. K. Rowling and respective publishers. Fanfiction is fiction-it's not meant to be taken seriously in the least.
~
Hermione held me the night before, not pushing me for answers as to what had brought me to her room at one a.m. in such a state. She let me sleep over, and told me that no matter what had happened, things would get better. I wanted to tell her so badly what was wrong with me, but she wasn't just my best friend. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to keep something like that from Ron.
I had finally found the courage to end it with my secret lover that night. I reasoned that it would be easier to forget about him after he graduated in a month. I couldn't stand looking into Ron's eyes anymore, constantly lying to him. Ron had asked Lavender Brown if she knew if I was seeing someone. He suspected I was keeping secrets. He was starting to look at me differently.
Hermione woke me up with a cup of hot tea and breakfast that she had smuggled from the kitchen.
"Ginny…are you sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong?"
Hermione's eyes were so warm and understanding.
"I can't. But I'm alright…I swear."
She looked a little relieved. "Good, you should be pretty up about tonight. Dean is quite the date!"
I smiled then. Dean really was quite a catch, and I had agreed to go to the Spring Dance with him back in September. I was excited about it, and Dean and I had gone on a couple of trips to Hogsmeade together. We had even shared a few kisses. That was of course before Draco. When Draco and I had "happened", I had unconsciously put a lot of distance between Dean and myself. I was surprised last week when he asked if I was still going with him.
#
Dean was the perfect escort. I flirted with him a bit, leaning towards him when he chatted with Justin and Neville. He kissed me, and it was civil, friendly…even chaste. Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting at our table as well. Ron looked over at me protectively, and I thought to myself that if he had known who it was I had been with these last few months he'd be pushing me into Dean's Arms.
Hermione was gorgeous. Both Ron and Harry kept sneaking glances at her. They had joked around that they were attending the dance as a "triad". There was more truth in that than any of them would have been willing to admit.
Draco walked in with Pansy Parkinson. She was beautiful. So was he. I instantly began to analyze her posture and attitude. She had her lanky arm draped through his, and she kept trying to capture his gaze with her wide, brown eyes.
Confronted with this reality, I lost my smile. Draco looked over at me, the pupils of his strange gray eyes quickly darting around, trying not to stare. I felt my nerves giving out, and I squeezed Dean's hand.
"I'm going out for some air," I said.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.
"No…I'm fine. I think Parkinson's perfume has made me nauseous," I replied, hoping it was loud enough for her to hear.
Hermione laughed, and swatted me on my arm.
If Pansy did hear it, she ignored it, and she and Draco moved towards the dance floor together. I couldn't stand to watch it, and I was happy to feel the crisp night air hit my face as I stepped outside.
I sat down on a stone bench right outside of the back door. I allowed myself to sit for a while, and let my tears fall freely. I could easily fix my makeup later.
"Don't let these things get you down dear," the bench said.
"Thank you, I'm doing my best not to."
#
I returned to Dean as stunning as I was when I had walked downstairs to meet him. A few quick tears were all I needed to gather my strength again. We had a wonderful time, and I managed to block out Draco and Pansy at the other end of the hall. The famous Mistress Lyric was singing the last song of the evening. Dean pulled me to the dance floor.
"Would you like to have a few butterbeers after the dance?" Dean asked, his eyes hopeful.
I smiled apologetically. "I think I'm too tired, but we should have dinner in Hogsmeade next week."
Dean accepted this concession. I felt guilty for leading him on. I wasn't ready yet to take another lover. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready, but when I saw Draco and Pansy leave together, I leaned in to kiss Dean. His breath was smoky and dark, not bittersweet like Draco.
"I'll walk you back," Dean said.
Dean was ever the gentleman. We chatted for a while outside and then he walked me back to the common room. I gave him another kiss right before I began the walk upstairs.
"Next weekend then?" he said.
"Sounds wonderful."
#
When I reached my room, I found that my roommate had left a note on the door.
Gin - I'll be back tomorrow evening, Pig came earlier with Post for you - Susie
I opened the door, and Draco was sitting on my bed. He was still in his dress robes.
"I needed to see you," he said, his voice very low, "I told Susan it was about school…but I think she knew I was lying."
I was furious that he'd take a risk like sneaking into Gryffindor tower.
What if someone had seen him? How dare he talk to my roommate? She'd have plenty of questions the next day.
"I want you to leave."
I closed the door behind me. The dorm seemed empty. Most people were outside sneaking butterbeer, and besides the occasional laughter rising up from the common room, it was unusually quiet.
He didn't move. He wouldn't stop staring at me.
I was shaking as I walked over towards my dresser. Draco stood up and walked behind me. I turned to tell him off, but somehow I ended up falling against him. And then we were clutching each other, breast-to-breast, mouth-to-mouth. The need I felt the first time he ever touched me, and the intensity with which it rushed all through me was so powerful that I thought I might faint.
Slowly, letting myself rest in his embrace, I came back to myself; back to him. I had never experienced anything like the thin, sweet lips that parted against mine.
His hands, strong and quick, moved over my body as we kissed. Draco became quickly impatient with the barrier of my dress, which was little enough: a tiny purple strapless number that Angelina Johnson had described as deliciously sinful.
One of his hands, which had returned again and again to cup my bound and covered breasts, began swiftly moving around to the back to reach for my zipper.
I wanted very badly to be naked in his very capable hands, but not in Gryffindor tower -this was crazy.
"No," I gasped and pulled away.
He reached for me again, and I pushed him off. He looked slightly stricken.
"I thought we'd…don't you -?"
I shook my head. "We can't keep doing this. We agreed that we couldn't keep doing this. This is hard enough for me -"
Draco put his hands on my hips and pulled me tightly to him. His erection felt enormous, "I can't seem to let you go. I saw you looking at me tonight. I saw you glaring at Pansy. I also saw you kissing him to get back at me. Your lips belong to me Ginny."
His body's solid mass was tight against mine. His hands continued to caress my thighs. In a haunted and distant voice, he began to tell me a story in short hot breathes as he let his mouth glide over the nape of my neck:
"Pansy and I were dancing when she made the offer to go back to her room. I went with her, but when she kissed me…my mouth went dry. I felt nothing. I tried to imagine she was you. I couldn't get the way you looked tonight out of my head, so I told her I was sick and I left. I used to be turned on by her. I fucked her once at a Weird Sister's concert, with a crowd of people around us. She hadn't worn any underwear with her skirt that night so it was easy, I just got her to stand in front of me. Nobody knew what we were doing…they were too busy dancing and watching the performance." Draco had hiked my dress up at the front and was tugging at the elastic of my panties - which were now soaking wet. "My point is that everyone is too caught up in his or her own lives to notice us. We can do this Ginny."
"We can't," I said.
I had a fleeting thought then, of Ron coming upstairs to make sure I was all right. He was sure to notice I wasn't there drinking butterbeer with the rest of them, and I was always one for butterbeer. I said no, and when I pulled away he let me go.
"What do you think you're doing to me?" I said, trying to pull myself together.
"Nothing compared to what I want to do."
We stared at each other, both of us burning up from frustration. He pushed me up against the door and we kissed again.
"No…" I whispered so softly that I wasn't even sure if he'd heard it. His hands were urgent now. My dress was now unzipped, my bra undone, my nipples teased until they were aching to be touched again. I surrendered, momentarily undone.
Then I imagined the look on my parents face if I told them about Draco Malfoy. Ron's disappointed face… I woke with a sickening shock. I'd always been such a good girl. Wonderful marks, nice friends, courteous boyfriends. I had only one lover before Draco, and we had been an item for a long time. I was supposed to fall in love with a wizard from a nice family, someone I could bring to the Burrow for Christmas, someone who wouldn't grow up to become a Death Eater.
I tensed then, and fought off his hands. He let me go again and stood now, his arms to his side. I pulled my dress up to cover myself. I was dizzy with desire and his eyes were still unwavering on mine.
"I'm not going to rape you Ginny," Draco said.
He had read me like an open book. He wasn't going to make me do what it was we both wanted to do. He wasn't going to let me escape the guilt that came every time I was with him voluntarily. He wanted me to make a choice.
His gaze fixated me. He eased me up against the door again and I stood very still, quivering. "Do you really think we can be together?" I said, sounding almost hopeful.
"I think it has to be easier than not being together," he replied, his hands under my skirt again. He pulled at my panties and peeled them down my legs. I stepped out of them when they reached my ankles.
His touch was as soft and smooth as his voice as he found my wetness. I watched him watching me as he stroked my clitoris. The door was hard against my back and my thighs began to ache as I rode his hand, his familiar hand that knew me better then I knew myself. He watched me the whole time, my face twisting as he muttered compliments about my freckles and my breasts.
Sharp, painful, and intense, the orgasm flashed as I cried, and yelled, and mussed his silver-blonde hair. His hands were all over now, rougher than the last time we were together. Greedier. He pulled me hard against him and his dress robes fell to the floor around our feet.
We held our breath, as we heard footsteps walk up to the door we were leaning against.
"Ginny? Is everything all right? I thought I heard you yelling." Hermione's voice said.
She sounded so concerned.
"I'm fine…I'm just not feeling all that great," I said, hoping my voice sounded convincing enough.
"Do you want me to come in?" she said.
I tensed up. "No…No…I promise I'll come by in the morning."
There was a minute or two of dreaded silence. Draco began to caress me again, his mouth moving to my nipples.
"I'll see you in the morning then," Hermione said finally. We listened as her footsteps rounded the corner to her room. He turned me around and led me towards my bed. He pushed my back against the comforter. White daisy's that my mother had picked out my first year at Hogwarts. Before I could even catch my breath he was parting my legs that were dangling over the edge. I lay still and let him position me as his stripped out of his underwear.
I was wet and willing, but I wasn't expecting such force as he buried himself into me.
"Ginny…" he said, repeating the word over and over again.
I lost all sense of time as we made love, making up for the space between us at the dance that night. Sometimes my name came from him in a gasp, sometimes in a guttural moan as he drove us both over the brink.
It was the first and only time we ever made love in my room. Draco managed to sneak out before daylight came, and I lay in bed waiting for the sun to come up alone.
I saw Ron later on that afternoon, and when he asked how I was feeling, I gave an honest answer.
"The dance just lasted longer than I thought it would…that's all."
It's still going on.