Chapter 9 - The Discussion
Harry didn't stand looking out of the window for to long; his legs were weak and his breathing was still fast. He sat on the edge of his bed and thought about what to do. He had so many things on his mind and after his talk with Ron and Adelle, he did feel a little better; however, he still felt… incomplete, like he wasn't done just yet.
He walked downstairs slowly and quietly, checking if the coast was clear. He walked over the wall to the direct left after you entered to Fat Lady portrait.
"Prime example," he said. Just then, the wall gave a yawn and the three holes appeared, making Wally's face.
"Hello my boy," he had lazily. "Sorry Harry, but I was asleep so I didn't really hear you. You mind saying it again?" Harry laughed under his breath. It was normal for him to repeat the password at times because Wally had said that his hearing wasn't as good as it used to be. If there're was such a thing for a wall to have ears.
"Is Hermione in there, Wally?" asked Harry first, just to make sure. He didn't want to face her just yet.
"No, no my boy," he said. "But she did come by just a little while ago. She asked if you were in here too, just like you have asked if she was in here. She was in tears that poor girl. Is everything all right between you two?"
"It's fine," Harry lied. He didn't feel like talking about relationship problems with a wall.
"Prime example."
The three holes disappeared first and in the blink of an eye the wall had vanished. Harry quickly made his way in, making up for lost time. He scurried to his room and searched his trunk at the foot of the bed. After searching and searching, he found what he was looking for. He gave it one hard blow, scattering the dust that was on it. It was a red and gold leather bound book with a two-inch spine. On the cover, written in a small, but very nice cursive, was his name: Harry Potter.
"Never thought I'd actually be using this," he stated as he grabbed a quill and a bottle of ink. He sat on his bed and began to write. Hermione had given him this book along with some Quidditch supplies two years ago, before they were going out. It was a blank book and was meant to be a diary or a journal of some sort for Harry. It had a two line of defenses, a locking charm and an ink disappearing charm. It reminded Harry of a diary he found in his 2nd year. Harry didn't like the idea of having this sort of thing (diary's were for girls) and he knew that he wasn't going to rush to write in it either. But he appreciated it all the same because any gift from Hermione was worth it.
He wrote and wrote, writing all of the events for the past couple of days all leading to the dilemma he was in now. The writing seemed to flow consistently and never seemed to stop. It was amazing when you had so much to write. To Harry's delight, the more he wrote, the better he seemed to feel. When he had finished he set the first line of defense up.
"Dismarkinus!" he said, making the ink vanish. He closed the book and set up the second line of defense. "Lockinus!" he said, locking the book. Just to have a little comic relief, he tested it. He tried to open the book, but the cover didn't open. It seemed to be glued shut. He tried harder, still to no avail. He tried to bend the book, but it was as hard as a rock. He abused the book, slamming it on the ground, stepping on it, and hitting things with it. After he figured the book had taken enough abuse, he examined it. The book remained good as new, as if nothing was done to it.
"Cool book," Harry said out loud. He placed it back in his trunk, thinking that maybe he'll definitely use it again. Just then, someone knocked on his door.
"Oh no," Harry whispered to himself, betting his bottom gold galleon who it was. "Come in."
The door opened, revealing to Harry that he was correct and it was -
"Hermione!" said Harry, strangely surprised to see her. "Out of all people, I didn't expect it to be you."
"We need to talk Harry," she sniffled. She had obviously still been crying. Her eyes were red and there were heavy bags under them; her cheeks wet from tears she had shed.
"You sure you're ready for that now Hermione?" asked Harry in his total friend form that he was to her. "I mean wouldn't you want to wait until you're ready?"
"I am ready Harry," she insisted, a tear running down her face. "This'll have happened sooner or later so we might as well do it now, when our feelings are still fresh."
"Ok Herm," he said subconsciously. He had shortened her name and called her, 'Herm' for the first time. It wasn't a shortened name for someone that you loved, it was a shortened name for her that made her a friend. He didn't like the idea of talking so early, but what else could he have done? It was her call after all; she had broken up with him.
***
They had exited their private dorms and headed outside, Harry following Hermione. The urge to hold her was high, but he couldn't do it anymore. That was going to take some time getting used to. No more kisses, no more hugs, no more hand holding, no more fooling around. Harry wiped his watering eyes before stopping her in front of the Great Hall.
"Wait here," he said, running into the Great Hall for a moment and coming out of it with a Cauldron Cake and a bar of chocolate. He handed the chocolate to Hermione.
"Eat this," he said. Hermione looked hesitant to accept it, thinking where this was going. Harry's only intention was Hermione as his friend, which was now his number 1 priority.
"Eat it Hermione, it'll help. Your body's going to give after all that lost in energy. Feels like a dementor had been in your presence, doesn't it?"
She nodded, finally accepting the chocolate and eating it, amazingly, her body felt a little recharged. Harry saw the look on her face. He gave a no teethed smile and nodded subtly as he munched away on his Cauldron Cake.
Harry followed her outside, to the same place where she had called it off. Harry winced at where he was taken; he felt like avoiding that place as much as possible because feeling of sadness made its way back.
"Hermione," started Harry holding his unfinished Cauldron Cake in his hand, "I want to be the first to apologize."
He took a deep breath as though thinking about what to see.
"First, I want to apologize again for my actions. Not just today, but for the previous days too. I -"
"No Harry," interrupted Hermione, holding up a hand to stop him. "We're not here to talk about the past. What has happened, has happened and there's nothing we can do about it. We need to talk about the future and what's going to happen to us."
Harry nodded, seeing her point.
"Things are going to be different now between us since we decided that our feelings were more than just friends," Hermione said.
"I know," Harry replied. "So where do we go from here Hermione?"
"I don't know Harry," she stated. "I really don't know."
"How about we go back to how we were. Before we were going out," he added, seeing her look that showed him that she thought he was talking about getting back together.
"Let's just be friends again and forget about us as a couple."
"That's just it Harry!" she exclaimed, her eyes watering up. "We can't just… forget."
Tears began to roll down her face. Harry couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking, he came forward and embraced Hermione in a tight and comforting hug. For a moment, Hermione paused, shocked that he had just hugged her, but she went back to crying, burying her face in his chest.
"I know Hermione," he said. "I know that we can't just forget. But we're just going to have to go on with our lives… as the friends that we once were. Don't you think it was more fun before we went out?" Harry couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. He was lying his ass off in front of Hermione. Of course he didn't really think it was fun before they went out , but he had to make Hermione see her senses. She looked up at him. "Please Hermione, I lost you as a girlfriend, but please, don't make me lose you as a friend too."
Hermione sniffled a few tears into Harry's chest before answering. She didn't even have to think.
"So it's settled then?" she sobbed, looking up at him and confirming her answer. "We're going to be back to just friends?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way Hermione," he confirmed back. Hermione noticed the way she and Harry were in and pulled out of his hug.
"There are some other things too Harry," she said, wiping her eyes. "We can't do anything that we're used to doing anymore -"
Harry held up a hand to stop her.
"Don't… remind me… Hermione."
"Right," she sniffled. "We better get going. I have things to do and you… have… someone waiting for you?" She said the last part in a questioning way.
Harry shot her a look that said, what-the-heck-are-you-talking-about?
"Serine, Harry?" she said, tears building again.
"Oh no Hermione!" he exclaimed. "She means nothing to me. She may like me, but I have no interest in her!"
"You don't like her?" she asked raising her eyebrows, looking skeptical behind her tears.
"No Hermione, I don't like her."
"Just like how you thought you didn't like me way back in 5th year?" she asked in a way of suspecting that he was lying.
"I know I don't like her!" he said, feeling angry with her. "I like her about as much as Ron loves spiders!"
Hermione didn't say anything. She just stood there still with tears slowing running down her cheeks.
"I'll see you around Hermione," Harry said in a final sort of way, turning her back on her in a rude manner.
"How dare she accuse me of ever liking… that!? I wouldn't be caught dead with Serine! After what she had done to me and Hermione, and making me feel like crap, she is no friend of mine," he thought. He had mixed feelings of sadness and anger in his heart; it didn't feel good feeling both of them at the same time; they didn't mix well. He looked at the unfinished Cauldron Cake in his hand sadly and chucked it into the river. Starting to be just friends with Hermione had been a few seconds ago, and he knew it was going to be a lot harder than it seemed.