Abundant Skies
Chapter five: Arm's Length
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thanks for all the reviews!!
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Hermione headed down to breakfast, nervous about her little `plan.' She didn't know if it would succeed, but she certainly hoped so. She smiled when she saw Harry, of course, and he smiled back at her, making her heart stop.
She sat by Ron, although Harry had an empty seat next to him. She was worried they might think something was wrong, since she had always sat by Harry.. And she saw Ron give her a confused look, while Harry was just eating, talking to Dean and Seamus about something. Hermione ignored him, and just ate her usual, healthy breakfast.
Harry noticed Hermione hadn't sat down next to him.. He was saddened, and surprised, since she had always used to sit next to him.. He wanted her to come back and sit next to him, he wanted to watch her out of the corner of his eye, watch her eat her apple and orange silently. He suddenly was aware of how cold he was, and shivered slightly. He missed her presence next to him, and it hadn't even been twenty minutes since she had come down. Without thinking, he looked over at her, and she looked up, almost as if she sensed his gaze immediately. They were trapped in each other's gaze once again.
Harry could feel his heart his heart beating loudly, although he wasn't even sure if it was still in his chest. He had felt as if it had grown wings and fluttered away, just leaving a relentless beating in him. He felt as if someone had poured down a warm, glowing, filling acid down his throat, warming and melting every single thing inside of him. Her eyes were so deep, so full with warmth, emotion.. Something flickered inside of them, something dark and hidden, but he couldn't read it. He felt as if he could see eternity in her eyes, hopeful, innocent.. He couldn't look away, his heart beating in his ears so loudly, pounding. But his conscience was tugging at him, its voice rising, angry to be ignored so easily.
It screamed at him, telling him to look away. But he couldn't, even as though it had started listing all the possibilities of what could happen if he stayed in her gaze too long. People could find out, spread rumors, get suspicious.. But he didn't care. He couldn't care. Not while her gaze was embracing him, blanketing him in its grace, warming him from his toes to the tips of his hair.
"Harry?" Harry was deaf.
"Harry? Harry?" Harry was sucked out of his trance, as Hermione quickly looked away, flustered.
Harry turned his gaze to Dean, who had been calling him.
"Harry? Are you alright? You.. You seemed as if you were.. Out of it for a second there."
Harry sighed, trying to shallow his breath, for he had been holding it for all that time. He sneaked a quick glance at Hermione, who was silent, looking away, but he could see the faint blush creeping to her cheeks.
"Sorry Dean," Harry smiled, faintly.
Hermione tried to steady herself, her heart was beating so hard in her chest, her brain scattered with so many thoughts that she herself could not read. She had fallen into his gaze again, lost in the emerald sea, not wanting to be drifted back to shore. This was just too much. She could not even stand being one person away from him. She finished her one bite of apple left, and took her book bag, placing it on her shoulder.
She stood up, and Ron's, Dean's, Harry's, Seamus's and Lavender's eyes trailed her.
"Where are you going?" Lavender asked. Hermione smiled faintly, adjusting the strap.
"I'm heading up to the dormitories, I forgot to do something." She turned to Harry and Ron. "I'll meet you guys in class." And with that, she strode out of the Great hall.
Harry stared after her, confused at why she left. Sure, she had said she had to do something, but he got the feeling that that wasn't it. Ron looked at Harry, seeing the way his eyes had lingered on the Great Hall's doors, obviously thinking about Hermione.
Ron sighed, taking a glance at the doors too, before turning to talk to Lavender; Harry wasn't the only one who had it bad for a certain girl. The love bug had bitten Ron too, but he was sure Harry's was much, much worse than his.
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Hermione made sure to stay away from Harry, after the `incident' at breakfast. She always made sure to sit one person away from him, not sitting by him at all if she got lucky. She didn't even talk to him, unless it was necessary. It pained her, not being able to sit next to him, but she promised herself she would do this. She made herself think of when her little infatuation with him would fade away, and they'd all be just friends again. Just feeling what friends should feel for each other; not any less, or any more than that.
She hoped Harry wouldn't notice, as the days went. He seemed still awfully quiet, but had started to talk again, like old times. Although she didn't sit beside him like before, she made sure to listen to every little thing he said; not being able to control what she heard. She hoped it would all end soon, very soon. She didn't think she could keep this up. She still felt the urge to sit beside him, to talk to him, to say something to make him smile or laugh.. If she didn't know any better she would've thought that instead of her little crush fading, it was getting stronger.
Harry had started to notice how far Hermione seemed to be, from him. He didn't know why, or what, but she always seemed so far out of his reach. Every time he would try to talk to her, she would hurry the conversation, and end it abruptly, saying she had to catch up with Lavender or Ginny. She no longer sat beside him during breakfast, or at any of their lessons. He felt like a storm cloud was hovering above him, and every single day, hoping she would at least sit next to him for one second.. She didn't. And he could feel the invisible, icy, raindrops drench him, from head to toe. He wanted to ask her if he had done something to her, to make her avoid him. If he had said something, or just anything. Harry, deciding he had to talk to someone about it, brought it up to Ron, in the hallway, whilst on their way to Care of Magical Creatures. As always for the past week, Hermione had gone ahead.
"Er, Ron?" Harry said.
"Yeah Harry?"
"Have you noticed.. Hermione.. She's been acting.. Peculiar lately.."
Ron looked at Harry, the look in his eyes unreadable. "How could I not notice?"
"It seems like.. She's avoiding me. She won't talk to me, or sit by me, like she used to."
"You don't know why?"
"No. Do you?"
"No."
"Well.. What do you think it could be?"
"Maybe.. I don't know, mate. She's a tough girl to figure out, at times."
Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's just not like her. I'm worried I did something, to hurt her, or something. You know Hermione, she doesn't do stuff without having a good reason."
"Well, do you think you said or did anything to offend her?"
"I don't know.. I don't think so. You know I wouldn't do anything to her."
"Maybe.. I think you should talk to her." Ron said, and Harry nodded, silent. They reached the class, and sat down, waiting for Hagrid.
Hagrid had told them specific instructions about the odd looking creature they would be feeding today. He had told them to pair up, then asking each of them to come up and grab a handful of strange blue vines. Everyone chattered excitedly, friends gathering up with friends. Harry looked around, searching for Hermione. He wanted to be her partner, since he had always paired up with Ron, on most occasions.
"Harry?" Ron asked, trying to see what he was looking at. Harry spotted Hermione, talking to Lavender, smiling. Harry couldn't help but remind himself how much he loved her smile.
"Hold on," Harry said, standing up.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back," Harry said, and walked towards Hermione.
Hermione halted her and Lavender's conversation when Harry came over, looking anxious and determined. Hermione felt those butterflies return, buzzing excitedly in her stomach.
"Hermione?" He said.
"Harry," she said simply.
"I.. Um, I was wondering, if you wanted to be my partner," he said, looking straight at her. Hermione felt panic spread through her, her eyes darting to behind him, where Lavender was smiling wildly. She didn't know what to do. She had to stay away from him, but here he was, asking her to be his partner. He had never done that before, just pairing up with Ron usually. Of course, millions of times she wished Harry would ask her, and she knew a `yes' would just come out, without her thinking about it. But.. Out of all those times, those chances he could've asked her.. Why now? Why now that she knew she had to say no?
Why bloody now??!!
"I-Uh," she stammered, avoiding his gaze. She looked towards her desk, her hands very slightly trembling, as she tried to think of how to say no.
"I already told Lavender I would be her partner," she said, as calmly as she could. Hermione felt her heart fold when she saw the look in Harry's eyes, dark and cloudy, almost as if he was disappointed.
"Oh, alright then," he said softly, took one last look at her, and went on his way.
Hermione sighed deeply, trying to make the weight shift in her chest. Lavender appeared beside her, as Hagrid motioned them to feed their creatures. Hermione split her handful and gave it to Lavender, avoiding her gaze.
"Hermione.. I wouldn't have minded if you ditched me," she said, placing a vine in the purple creature's small mouth. Hermione watched it as it chewed, slowly.
"I don't `ditch' people."
"'Ditching' is what you've been doing to Harry all week," Lavender said, trying to get Hermione to look up.
"What's going on, Hermione?" Lavender asked. Hermione sighed.
"Nothing."
"That's bollocks. Can't you see Harry's mad about you?" This caused Hermione to look up, and Lavender's face was serious.
"We're just friends, " she said.
"Oh, cut it out, Hermione. I've seen you, looking at him.. You're so madly in love with him that you can't stand it."
"He doesn't feel that way about me, Lavender, and I don't feel that way about him" Hermione said, slightly getting annoyed. Lavender had seen right through her as clearly as Ron had.
"How do you know?" She said. "If you're so blind that you can't even see the way you feel about him, then you're sure as hell not going to see how he feels about you."
Hermione turned to her, getting angry. "I know how I feel about him, and it's none of your business."
"Hermione," Lavender sighed. "We've all noticed how you've been avoiding Harry all week.. Something's wrong. You can tell me."
"No, I won't tell you, because I already did," she said, smacking the vines down on the table. "There is NOTHING going on," she said. Lavender just looked at her, her expression unreadable.
She sighed again. "Fine. Whatever you say," she said, before turning back to feeding their creature.
Hermione considered telling Lavender, of course. But she couldn't. There was just too much at stake. What if she played matchmaker? Hermione knew she couldn't bear that. Everything would just go wrong. She didn't want to make everything worse; Harry had just probably asked her to be his partner because he felt guilty.
Yeah, he just felt guilty.
Right?