Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't sue me, I don't have anything to give anyways.
WARNINGS: In addition to the standard first chapter warnings, I would like to say that the end of this chapter depicts a rather graphically violent and disturbing scene, proceed with caution if blood and such makes you squeamish.
**Chapter Five-Tragic Endings**
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As soon as the welcoming feast was over, Harry walked Hermione to her new Head Girl dormitories. One of the biggest privileges of being Head Girl was private dormitories and common room, also not protected by gender wards, the theory being that the Head Boy and Girl were responsible enough not to need them. But it was also an unspoken tradition that when the Head Boy or Birl were involved in a serious relationship, a blind eye was turned to the comings and goings of their significant other, whom often ended up almost moving into the private dorms.
He kissed her goodnight and told her he would come back later, after he went to find Lupin. He went down to Lupin's rooms and knocked quietly on the door. When Lupin opened the door and let Harry in, Harry looked at him for a moment before running into Lupin's arms. As Lupin held him there, he felt the tears come for the first time. At first, he felt a lone tear or two fall, but it was as though a dam had broken and he was soon sobbing uncontrollably. Lupin picked him up and carried him over to an overstuffed arm chair where he cradled Harry and let him cry. Lupin muttered nonsense words of comfort to him while rubbing his back and his hair.
Slowly, much later, his sobs subsided and his breathing evened back out and he raised his face to look at Lupin.
"Hi, Lupin."
"Hi, Harry. Feeling a little better now?"
"No, but I'm happy you're here. I miss my family...you and Sirius and everyone else. I think that's the first time I let go and cried since he died, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come down here and fall apart."
"Shhh...it's okay, don't ever feel like you're imposing by depending on me. I love you, and I plan on helping you just as Sirius did."
"Are you...Are you going to, umm..." his voice faded off.
"Yes, Harry, now more than ever you need to feel like someone cares enough to set limits for you, and if and when you push those limits, I will discipline you. I will discipline you because I love you and I think that people have given you too many breaks, you need to learn that the rules apply to you the same as they do everyone else. But enough about that, I love you, and it's late. You need to get to bed."
"Night, Lupin."
"Night, Harry, we'll talk more this weekend."
Harry left Lupin then, with very mixed feelings about Lupin being back. He didn't want to think about it though; he wanted to find Hermione and go to sleep.
He reached her dorms, and gave the password to the giggling faeries in her portrait. He entered to find her sleeping on the couch. Apparently she had fallen asleep while waiting for him. He picked her up and carried her to her bed. He tucked her in and was startled by a voice from behind him. He turned to the fireplace to see Lupin's head residing there.
"L-L-Lupin!"
"Relax, Harry, I'm not upset. We kind of figured you'd be staying here. We decided we trusted you enough to allow it. Your things are already in your chambers across the hall. Don't make us regret this decision."
With that, the head spun and was gone. Harry went across to his chambers and changed into pajamas. He then padded back across the hall and slid in and snuggled up next to Hermione.
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"No...No...'Mione!"
Harry snapped awake, briefly taking note that he hadn't woken Hermione. The pain was back, the darker Harry had taken over. He walked to his room and pulled the blade out of his trunk. There was no reverence for the blade tonight, he just began slashing his arms, first one, then the other. He heard a little sob from behind him. It barely registered in his current state of mind.
"Harry, stop it, please! Let me help you, you don't have to do this."
"Hermione, go back to bed. This doesn't concern you; you don't understand."
Hermione turned and left the room, going to her room. She sat and cried for a few moments, before grabbing a handful of Floo powder and called Lupin.
"Lupin, wake up! I need your help with Harry, it's an emergency."
Seconds later, Lupin stepped through the fireplace in Hermione's room. Wordlessly, he followed her to Harry's room. The sight he saw horrified him. There was blood all over, the blade had clattered to the floor and Harry was lying there, unconscious. The blade had slipped too deep.