Chapter 15
"Who Knows Who"
~~
I closed my eyes
Trying not to let it in
As always
It repeats
Amongst my thoughts
Travelling to my soul
The hope
The hope that tears me
The cries to the nights gods
Please, please
Stop it
Years gone by
I can feel it still
The hurt I felt
Left alone, without anyone
I want only
That it can let go
That I could be
Me
Once more
Don't you know
Of an aching
Deeply strange
In your heart
Don't want to believe
Time's been away
Passing all over
Grasped though
Not leaving me
It repeats
The sweetly laced saving grace
I imagined it might come
Then
I knew it was a dream, hopelessly
It repeats
One thought, one dream
Two thought, none left here
The tide turning over me
My head throbbing
Once more
It repeats
Stop, please
Be true
Be wrong
Any single one
Just be
~~~~~
##Hermione##
Her anger washed over her in waves.
The past month's he was all she'd really been thinking of.
Still not thinking properly she reminded herself.
And it had suddenly occurred to her that it was his fault.
If he was alive then where was he now?
Where had he been the last 11 years, where that was so more important than his only daughter and the future of his friends life that he'd managed to somehow screw up, despite her perfect planning.
He'd inadvertently been torturing her, driving her crazy all these years. And before he died she added bitterly.
The past was past but in this life it never stayed down.
Pain never got lost in life, in real life pain didn't go away.
She felt like pretending he was a candle, burning it down because she couldn't get to him.
She was angry because he was alive and not here.
She was angry because he was dead and never coming back.
The years of restrained hurting had come crashing onto him.
A man who for all she knew didn't exist.
Arrggghhhh. She screamed in her head but felt like screaming out loud.
The neighbours would come round if she did.
The house was far enough away to cover any mysterious magical noises but not murderous screaming.
If he had been here she'd near kill him.
He'd done this to her.
Ruined her.
Careers destroyed. Responsibilities that were never meant for her. Her parents had disowned her.
What more could be wrong unless she'd died too.
The membrance of her mother brought a tear to her eye. They'd not spoken for 8 years.
Her mother had not understood why she'd taken on Elianne.
She'd known all the reasons why she should, and evidently all the reasons why she shouldn't.
They'd never agreed on the matter.
She probably felt right now how her mother had seen on the subject all those years ago.
Ruining.
It hadn't just been that her mother had thought she was too young for a child, especially one not hers. Recommended that Elianne would have a better life with a foster family or adoptive parents, anyone but her.
Why?
Because I was too young, because I was mourning, because I had so much going for myself, because…her mother knew the what had gone on.
Knew all about how she felt, the looks she'd once given Harry one summer. Because you can't hide those things from mothers.
They notice beautiful necklaces. And pecks on the cheek at the station.
And the sullen silences. The over hurriedness of meetings. Trying to escape.
The words rang in her ears.
"This is not your doing. It's not your responsibility. He's gone, get over it, get on with life. I couldn't stand to see you waste a single year more on him. He's gone. She isn't him, she's not his replacement. This isn't the time for it Hermione."
It had all gone on. She'd not abandoned her when she needed a mother most. Had been a stand in grandma and then when all was good enough, she'd left her life.
That disapproving frown plastered over every inch of her face.
The way she thought I'd dropped everything for the potter's, any related to him at least. Anyone close enough.
Like she saw me as a desperate schoolgirl crushing on him after all my teenage years were gone.
She'd never seen my care for Elianne. The fact I'd been the only one there for her. That after my grief I couldn't make more.
The clearing was charcoal black. Stubbing a stick in the soil, you could see all of it was burnt. Life taken away from it. No trees here anymore. Once it had been a pretty, secluded clearing. Perfect for a picnic. That was one of the reasons he'd chosen the house. The Grange. Would have made a good family home.
She wouldn't have been up to living there though.
Elianne would have loved it but for this sad patch in the forest.
This was the best they had of a grave.
No ashes here, unless you counted the whole area.
The remaining trees all stood back from it, leaning away she'd always thought.
The ground tainted by their reasoning. With death.
She'd been sure that it would have become a tourist spot.
Roll up, roll up, here's where you-know-who died. Hip, hip, hurray.
But wizards where far more superstitious than they'd like to know.
They thought they'd die if they came here. Stand in the centre of the place that was imbued with the greatest powers of the century destroyed and gradually it'll get you too. The death inside it. The middle much the same as the middle of the pyramid, the point it gathers to. The power to make you go crazy.
Ha! Both of them had already done that to her. Dead as they were.
It was the only place she knew of that she could take out her anger.
Mentally she could try to scream at him. Might not work but she'd feel a whole lot less like a psychopath then.
Maybe this time it wouldn't be enough.
No one ever came to the spot.
And no one would know.
They'd just assume she'd gone crazy if they did see her.
She opened her mouth and screamed blue murder. For every unfair event happened to her. For her hate and her love and every emotion there and above, she screamed.
+++++
##Elianne##
"I told you it doesn't hurt." She watched Cassy struggle free of Dido's concerned handhold.
"It's just that it makes me feel strange, act strange. Its not nice but I'm not dying or anything."
Dido twisted her face up, angling for a more honest answer. "Are you sure? Shouldn't you tell someone?" she'd make a perfect nurse when she grew up, Elianne thought.
Then it was Lucretia's turn to harass Cassy. Neither one had stopped asking questions since she'd told them.
Dido was acting mothery and Lucretia was like a cat, on the edge of her seat, ever curious wanting to know more and more about it.
"So why do you only get bad things? Why not cool things like finding out….who fancies you?" Lucretia sounded like she was appealing to flora's taste.
Flora as of yet had said nothing much on the matter. She sat doing her transfiguration essay, this was the one time she paid any attention to the conversation.
"My grandma said it was because they're the most intense events. There's power in them, in the destruction and pain that goes with them."
She caught the estranged look on most of their faces and translated it into a more muggle style. "Like a stronger signal on a TV. The antenna picks it up more easily. Whether I like it or not" she muttered the last part rather bitterly to herself while enlightenment settle on the rest.
Elianne's brain stuck on a hidden thought for a second. Hang on.
"How do you know what a T.V. is?
Cassy paled a little and her eyes clouded slightly.
"I was brought up by my aunt and uncle. My aunt's a squib so they live like muggles in most ways."
All the girls studied the table hard at that comment. No one met Cassandra's eyes.
Elianne wished she'd never asked.
But she had and Lucretia the tactless couldn't wait to ask.
"What happened to your parents? Anything to do with the family gift?" she smiled a little, obviously hoping to force another smile out of Cassandra too.
It worked, but only because Cassandra didn't want to break her friends allusions. She had absolutely no sense of timing. Which sucked but she was a friend. And Cassandra wasn't as sensitive about the topic anymore, so she answered it for fear of endless pleas from the other girl.
"In a way, yes. My father's alive but he couldn't cope with me after my mother's death. I wasn't that old when it happened and he was upset. You see it was when you-know-who…
Elianne challenged her "Lord Voldemort you mean", Hermione had been insistent on never fearing his name. It had got imprinted to her over the last few months. You could fear him if you liked but his name was nothing, could do nothing to you.
Cassandra shifted uncomfortably in her and agreed shortly but not really willingly "…yeah. Him. He killed my mother. My father was lucky. He'd heeded my grandmother's advice. Guess it was because he was so scared of her, whereas my mother, she didn't like the gift. She called it a curse. And she refused to change her plans despite what my grandmother told her. So she died. If she'd listened it might have been different but…Then my grandmother would help look after me as well. She still blamed herself for mum's death even when she died herself. That's why she told me about it. She thought it was important. That if I ignored it then I'd suffer too. Only I didn't ever understand til she died. That's when I started seeing things. I saw her death. I think it must have been right when she was dying, when it passed over to me, otherwise I don't know how it works. She died of a heart attack. That's not the worst I've seen."
Nobody spoke for a whole minute. They were wowed into submission with the story, however sad it was it had a dramatic flair to it. it was the story you'd tell your grandchildren. A real family legacy.
Cassandra was the first one to speak up.
"She predicted your fathers…death."
Elianne's head shot up. Everyone else slowly and cautiously moved their heads in the same direction.
"What did she see?"
Cassandra seemed half scared to say it to her friend. Elianne had a certain look in the eye. A fiery lust for the truth.
But it wasn't pleasant.
"She felt him burn. Like a lightning bolt. Other than that she wouldn't say."
Elianne cast her eyes down.
"Not one person will tell me what happened to him. I know you don't know much but …Thank you. It means a lot."
She stood up, pre-empting the bell that shook the room indicating their first mythology lesson.
"Time to learn new things"
+++++
##Hermione##
It had taken more than a little while to calm down after her release of pent up feelings.
Standing had seemed a good way. In the middle. Claiming some of that power they said was there. So much had come out with the cry. Tears and rage mainly.
But she was fine now. Ready to leave.
The silence was getting to her.
It tingled with something. The power?
Silence never lasts.
She heard a person approaching, but it was autumn and the piles of crunchy leaves were everywhere. It made it impossible to tell who was there.
She swizzled round, glancing quickly through the trees that circled the clearing.
Nothing.
It unnerved her. She could here the crackling of dead leaves underfoot. She was not alone anymore.
Where were they?
She clasped her wand tightly in her hand reading to blast them back if they approached.
She moved backwards slowly to the tree line. Scanning the trees as she did.
She neared the trees faster.
That was her mistake.
A hand grabbed hold of her, pulling her to the accompanying body with the other hand clammed over her mouth so hard she couldn't utter a single word.
+++++
##Elianne##
The class steadily sat in rows.
The students ninety percent girls. It could have been because boys weren't as academic, or because of the quidditch practice going on outside which lots of first years had been keen to watch.
Or it could have been the fact that the history of magic professor wouldn't have been out of place in a blockbuster romantic comedy, charming good looks and intelligence to boot.
Therefore most in the class were going to spend his extra lessons swooning up at him with dreamy eyes.
Elianne however would be thrilled to hear about the gods and goddess', about the old ways and all the things she loved dearly to study.
She could already see Flora's eye's popping out at the professor and dido herself had secret smile on her face, a tad more subtle than the others.
Cassy was drawing on her parchment idly, not too interested in anything and Lucretia was doodling little hearts, getting stuck on what his initials where.
Proffessor Issacs stood in front of the board. All eyes on him. Except for Cassy's Elianne noted.
"Hello class. It's very good to see such a turnout for an extracurricular lesson. Though I may like to call it a club instead. Because everyone here is free to join and free to leave when they like."
One of the boys got up immediately, hurrying out the room.
Maybe his ego couldn't take the girls adoring anyone else.
Professor Issacs smiled an embarrassed smile, his terrified eyes met by thirty or so eager ones.
"Please be settled. Today and for most of the rest of this term, we will be learning about one of the first ancient pantheons. The Michiya."
Elianne gasped with delight. They really were going to learn about them. The textbook had eluded about them but all else she'd found out ha come from more obscure books from her aunt's personal library.
"Now I don't expect anyone here to know about the Michiya but I believe they are a vital part of ever wizards heritage. The Michiya clan was the oldest known wizard society to date. They were the forefathers of the magic we know today. If not for them none of this would exist."
That got a few shocked faces from the class.
No one had ever taught this before. All those in the class, be them from year 7 or year 1, had no knowledge of who they were beyond a name.
"Does anyone know what was special about the Michiya pantheon as opposed to more recent pantheon's?"
He wasn't looking for an answer but Elianne's hand shot right up.
"Miss…." He questioned as he ran his finger down the register quickly "Potter?"
"Yes, sir"
He smiled, confused. Someone actually knew the answer?
"They did not value one god over another. All were equal. And …"
"That's enough Miss potter."
He started talking again, rather unsure about his presumed idea that no one in the room would know a thing. That was what made it easy to teach.
"As you heard the Michiya did not assign importance to any god over another. With the exception of ceremonies, where it was accepted as necessary to call on a certain god. The Michiya clan as a society also held all members as of equal standing. This was of sole importance to their belief system, which, despite the includance of deities was secular. The Michiya held the deities under esteem not for them as persons but as keys to each humans real potential. They used the deities much like other religions. They would pray to them, speak as if they were real and would perform rituals that were the forerunners of today's magic. But they did not believe in the deities themselves. It was what was inside their own mind that was held in respect, the inner power that the gods symbolism reflected and controlled. The word Michiya roughly translated means one's own right to power. This was the integral object of their clan."
He finally stopped for a breath. All that could be heard was scribbling. Elianne could hardly keep up with everything he said as she tried to make notes.
Not halting for long he picked up
"As all the god's are of the same importance it's hard to know where to begin but I thought you'd all find the legend of Caltrice interesting. Caltrice the friend is the goddess of purity, truth, honour and selflessness. She stood up to sacrifice herself to save her friends. And in doing so accepted her death in exchange for the sparing of the others lives. The one condition is that none would know her sacrifice, the act of a true hero, no satisfaction in it. A deed done to love. Little have survived of the original texts but I can read a small translation of the story.
---She stood to the sky in honour and bowed her head to the heavens. The blade struck her heart, she screamed in agony, her suffering she received. Her tears mixed with her blood and the white light shone through her wound. She proved herself worthy and trusting. For her truly selfless deed she was elevated to a goddess, to sit in the stars and guide others. ---
She is described as the best part of ourselves. The good in everyone. Called upon for guidance in love of friends, family and lovers. They also thought she could help us see the good in ourselves, the kind we can do. Common prayers to her were to ask to see good in yourself or in others, especially friends.
Other information gathered by wizarks at many sites is her associations : Sunday, Pine trees, new moon, green and silver, sword, spring, water, the heart. Infact one of the wizarks who has been working in this field went to our very own school, Hogwarts.
Ronald Weasley. Some of you might know him, you may even be related. Who knows."
Ron? Her godfather. A wizark. That didn't suit him. And he was in Romania studying dragons like his brother. But if it was true, and Professor Issacs hadn't misread, mispronounced the name, then it could be none other than him. The Weasley family was big but they all knew each other and she had never heard them speak of another person called Ronald. It was true she hadn't ever heard much anyway but she had a feeling it would be him. Or it would be too surreal. It was only a feeling of course. Not much to it.
"Alright. Time to pack up. We'll be doing Moyana, the sister, next week along with tribal customs. Hope to see you all here again."
Elianne glanced sideways to Cassy. Just as before she was ignoring the teacher. He hadn't made a good impression on her. And Elianne would have looked away because it appeared Cassy was simply daydreaming but the ink on the paper caught her eye.
Cassy was staring up, yet her hand was drawing on its own. In actual fact Cassy was in more of a trance. Elianne waved in front of her face. Cassy blinked and jolted backwards from the moving hand.
"Sorry, just thinking."
They gathered up the books. Cassy walked out normally, as if nothing had happened
Elianne shook her head seeming to be trying to dislodge something from it.
Must have been mistaken.
+++++
##Hermione##
Her instincts took over immediately and she bit into one of the hand fingers.
The hands all withdrew and she ran forward in freedom and turned around to see her attacker.
And was greeted by a large yelp from the redheaded man, whose hand was bloody red, spots dripping to the forest floor.
"Merlin Hermione. What did you have to do that for?"
She looked confused at her grown up friend. His flaming red hair was wild and long, pulled back in a ponytail. His face curled in grim pain.
"Why did you feel the need to assail me? Why Ron? Why are you even here? I thought you weren't going to back for another month and why come here of all places?"
She raged, ready to yank out her hair. He infuriated her, pure and simple. She wasn't in the mood for surprises or visitors and he came under the category of both.
"Nice to see you too."
Sarcastic as ever.
"If you want to know. I've never been in Romania. I hate dragons. I only stayed for a year. I just let everyone think I was there, get the M.O.M off my back. You know, those guys, who hate me?"
It wasn't a question to answer. Though she could have come up with a subtly curt response if she hadn't wanted to find out what he'd been doing.
"I've made a good name for myself in the wizard world of…what do muggles call it…..that word….arch…archi…archiologee."
She gritted her teeth, oh so tempted to correct him.
"Not very exciting. But then again I can't exactly become an Auror with my 'record', can I. Besides it was only part time. Wizarky isn't the only thing I've been doing over the past 10 years."
She smiled a smile of humouring to him
"Then what have you been doing?" she made it sweetly put, he'd know she wasn't in a good by it, he'd answer it quickly if he was still intelligent.
"Looking for proof."
She stopped walking, he took a moment to notice it.
"You're still trying to prove it wasn't you? Isn't it enough Ron that they didn't put you in Azkabhan?"
"It was never about that. That's why I didn't stop."
"If you don't give a damn about your own life then what the hell are you fighting for?"
"Everybody" he turned around finally, seriously straight faced "You know that all the dark wizards didn't disappear when old Voldy did. You know their still out there right? And the ministry don't give a damn because they're all so happy, happy about no more Voldemort. They're not thinking right. We're still not safe. You'd have think they'd learned by now, what could happen. The horrors people can do. But no. They haven't improved security. They barely have any Aurors employed and none they have do bull. Yet no one ever went away. That traitors still out there and there are gonna be more like her, waiting for someone else to come out of the woodwork."
He stood, eyes shot over. She'd never seen Ron Weasley so upset about anything before. With one exception. He kept his cool.
This made him lose it. He really was afraid of all those things coming true.
"So what have you been doing about it?"
"I belong to an organisation. It's undercover. Covert. We seek out threats. Gather information. Try to rally support for our beliefs."
She laughed faintly at his overly dramatic description of what was probably more akin to a secret seven meeting in the garden shed than a spy game.
"I suppose next you'll tell me Snape's in it too?"
She hadn't expected anything other than a furious flush from that but…
"Yes. He is. He believed me then and he still does. I'm not the only one you know. And it isn't some stupid little game. We have something. The world isn't the little safe house M.O.M think it is. Something's going on. That's why I'm here."
Deadly serious.
He wasn't fooling around.
It came as somewhat of a bombshell to her.
She couldn't remember Ron ever being like this. He was never the military, do what you have to type. Never into this lot. Being an Auror would have changed him but he didn't get to that. They'd denied him the possibility over the fiasco they'd put him in the middle of.
Scape-goated. They'd ruined his life.
And Ron protected them, in a roundabout way.
All those years. He hadn't been running away from the past. He'd pursuing the future, and the truth owed to the dead.
~~~~~
Life is remote
The pictures
The words
Far from me
Seen only through glass
And ball
Can't make out what it means
Who they are that i see
What they did
That was anything good
Can't make it out
Nothing means anything more
Than anything else
For all the words and pictures
The floors got as much as them all
Could mean as much or more
No image any better
All blurred
Standing tall
Turned away
Can't decide
Not enough
Let's just sit back
For a while
Let it get on
With life
~~~~
##Elianne##
Elianne sat at the table picking over her food.
Conversation was on Halloween, one week from now.
The chances of another ball after the Pax Omnia ball were slim to none but the upper year Gryffindors were excitedly talking about what else there might be.
"El, you ok?" the voice was Kate Greenbush's, a six year prefect who genuinely liked her for her as far as Elianne could.
"Yeah. Fine Kate. Not too hungry."
That was a lie. She was famished but the food had lost its flavour.
Didn't Cassy know when it happened?
Had it?
She had the terrible feeling that she shouldn't mention it. Cassy would probably hate for her friends to see her in one of her strange moods brought on by a vision.
The question was what had she seen?
Was Cassy ignoring like her grandma had warned her against or did she really not know it had happened?
Well, nothing would matter if she starved herself.
So she set towards devouring the strawberry trifle next to her. Maybe the sweetness would get through her taste buds blocks on flavour. Sugar would also make her a bit more perky. More chatty. Less likely to induce worried looks upon herself from odd behaviour.
##Snape##
Snape ate his casserole. He hated it. It was soggy and cold by the time he'd forced himself to get round to it. He'd been pondering on Mr. Weasley's thoughts.
And he yanked a spoon of the food up towards his mouth, about to take it in and sourly swallow it.
He heard it before any of them. The students were too far removed at first, the teachers too chatty and jovial.
He heard it.
Her low voice, trembling under the weight of the words, words that did not come duly from her tongue despite it being her own voice.
He concentrated his hearing on them through the cluttered noises of the hall.
He needn't have.
She was growing louder.
The others noticed. They hushed. Many peering around the table to see what the meaning of it was.
It didn't take long for the students to realise the professors had silenced themselves.
The students did too, out of curiousity.
Trelawney was speaking with enough volume to be heard by all in the hall in the quiet.
She'd started repeating it now.
Almost verses.
"Terror shall reign. Side by side chaos. the dark clouds ceasing the sky. Night shall be night for eternity. The darkness a sore sight. A delight to our lord. He will be won. She will be one. Terror shall reign…"
He was sure she'd said more than that at the start but this was the prose that kept falling from her mouth.
Snape gulped. His face a ghostly pale. Paler than his usual abnormal whiteness.
##___##
Everyone but a few girls on the Gryffindor table where looking upon Trelawney.
Those girls instead had their attention drawn to Professor Snape.
The terrible, horrible, greasy git who scared a large population of the school witless.
Professor Snape who currently looked a shade of death darker, afraid.
##___##
Not everyone was concentrating on Trelawney. Nor on Snape.
There was one ginger haired girl who shuddered at the words her ears found.
She stared at the table in effort to listen better.
To her horror she found the words sounding like they'd passed her lips, none too ages before. She discovered herself moving to mimic the motions of what the professor was saying.
"Terror shall reign. Terror shall reign…." Over and over the words repeated.
##Elianne##
The teachers had laughed when it was over. Professor Trelawney had no idea what she'd said and McGonagil had announced very loudly her opinion on 'seers'.
Only a small number of students saw that Snape had not improved afterwards. His face just as ashen.
They'd piled out of the hall, muttering over what it all meant, how things always happened near Halloween.
What if it was the staffs idea of a practical joke? Seemed a good note not to tell Snape. Not many liked him.
And this was the generally accepted consensus of the students, minus the part about Snape because none had noticed that piece of evidence.
She swooped into the dormitory aching for sleep.
She flopped onto the covers ready to tug them over her and roll into the bed but finding she was on top of a letter she pulled it out and opened the seal.
Plain wax, no signet.
Inquisitive, she undid it and read what it had to say.
Hogwarts has a history of events happening on the moon of Halloween
Best to stay away from Hogwarts trouble. It comes in three, three headed dogs usually
It was signed 'a friend'
Who could it be?
Her father, Sirius, Ron, not Hermione. She'd say so if she'd written.
Dumbledore, he'd know of the event, he might well do such as this.
From a friend?
It was a warning.
They wanted her to keep out of things
What if…
Is it from him?
How many know of that? She wasn't sure. It could be few or all in the school at the time.
Either it was a warning from someone who knew something would happen, surely only someone who would do such would know.
Unless someone else knew too, someone who really was a friend.
So it could be.
Might be.
She'd never know tonight at least.
Halloween was soon. So whatever would happen she'd find out soon. And she'd find this 'friend' soon in that case.
~~~~
Don't believe
The hope that fills your heart
Because right from the start
It was the way
To fail
For sure
That everybody knows
That's the way you'll go
In every day
You think
Its true
Its right
Its mine
You'll leave a bit behind
In every night
You dream
You toss and turn
Over and over
Worn and weary
In beats a little less
In every year
That passes
You forget
The advice
You heard
The lessons you once learned
The things that meant
All the world
Now all you have
Is you
Not sure what
Quite to do
In every way
You went down
That straight path
That lead to where we said
It would
In every way
You lost it
Day by day
The rhythm pounding
Only now a small sounding
The swelling of the organ
Only now flat and emptied
You lost it
Day by day
In every way
~~~