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Chapters 17 and 18
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Chapter 17
"You Hurt The Ones You Love"
~
What was it you said?
Something about something
I never truly heard
For I turned away
And
You never questioned me
And
I never asked what it was
We, the best of friends
The closest
Known to the rest
As the closest
They never knew
And
I did not say what I was thinking
And you,
You never wanted to listen
There were things they knew
Not right
As is with all people
And
They never questioned either
And
They never asked what happened
It was all a great mystery
Every day
Of those days
Not knowing what the life was
What the lies were
Where the truth resided
If we could even have
And
We carried on
Words deprived
Faces close, but turned away
Lies not spoken
Lives broken
The way
We lived
Those days
~
##Hermione##
Hermione sat reading the daily prophet. No news of Harry Potters return graced the headline. He must have been keeping his head down.
She wouldn't know though. They'd hardly spoken since he'd returned. He'd taken up residence in the house, she would not refuse him that but neither had said a thing.
He spent most of him time out, away somewhere. Maybe with Ron. She had a feeling what Harry had mentioned was to do with the same thing Ron had said was going on.
Reconnaissance?
Who knew what they did.
He ate alone as mostly he only came back at night, when she was asleep, as he thought she would be.
She held the paper up, not really paying much attention to any of it.
This was the first time she'd seen him in two weeks for more than five minutes.
He sat in the corner at the desk writing a letter.
She could have glared at him but they were beyond that.
The history between them wasn't good. The years had worsened it.
He hadn't asked yet either.
So she hadn't told him either.
He kept his secrets, not sharing with her.
So she kept hers.
Not one question.
This didn't improve their present.
Not one question.
And no answers as to where he'd been. Why he'd ignored his only child for eleven years.
Not one question on how she was doing, what she was like, how Hermione had coped raising her on her own.
Did he care?
Nothing suggested he did. Apart from him bothering to come back after all this time.
Maybe he didn't realise it but for her it wasn't just him that had returned. It was the past, the feelings; the whole story was lunked up like an the old box of photos stored in an attic for decades. Brought down with tears.
The life since he'd 'died' wasn't the only complication to their relationship. The questions not asked, not answered weren't the only obstacle to any type of continued friendship in these days.
It was the past that held most of their secrets.
+++++
##Anastis##
The girl cowered in the corner of the dungeon. Crawling further back at the scuttling sounds of the rats.
They'd fed her, they'd been quite nice in the case of not having tortured or killed her.
But it was rank and cold and dark in the cell, as it had been for the fortnight.
Unless of course it had been longer, she found it hard to tell, the sun didn't get very bright at any point in the days around here and she could well have miscounted the sunsets she'd seen through the small high barred window.
They hadn't hurt her. They had however taken her away a few times. Performed spells on her. Nothing bad, nothing she could recognise but they wanted something. It couldn't be long before they discovered she wasn't it.
+++++
##Elianne##
Around the common room there were puffy eyed faces. Flora's continued maintenance of her sincere regret still lingered too.
The blame hadn't laid anywhere but Flora had taken it on along with a few others, Leander, Ayran, Dido; all who felt responsible in parts.
Elianne and Lucretia at least had seen that they couldn't have changed things that night, that others were accountable and that it had sinister implications for the future.
It seemed there were also people who did blame but did not rest it on those who you would have thought.
Through many halls and in many lessons, blank angry stares had been directed to Lucretia.
Even a few Gryffindors had taken to shunning her publicly.
There was no reasoning to this really, just that dull stupid prejudice that scathed the Malfoy name and gave them an excuse to point fingers and lay guilt.
Lucretia hadn't taken it well. The few fortunate things to be grateful for round Hogwarts these days was that Patricia actually defended Lucretia, holding to the idea that the Malfoys being purebloods were honourable. However uncomforting that was in general, it helped curb the rumours and talk.
The other rather odd but pleasant event was that Cassy hadn't had any more visions recently, since infact that night.
Elianne was still reeling over the cryptic and unexplained message directed to her on that night but no visions made Cassy happy even in this saddened aftermath.
Cassy being pleased about this had made no attempts to see a reason to it. Elianne and Lucretia were more astute and after the abduction thought it better to check it out.
Elianne tucked at her friends arm, motioning her to get up.
"The library?"
~~
For where there is sin
And confusion
It is she
She is that voice
That guides mischievously
You to the taken path
And you may call her pain
And you may call her shame
Though she merely
Echos the other way
The nature
We behold
Tenderly protecting
Our minds from
She is all but the denyer
In her exists the utter truth
The brutality is acceptance
For she is the lover that takes any
Ugliness is her beautiful
The carefree light in the fall
She is that that was not meant to be
The reality that lives
Who we refuse
Under cloak and guile
We will not see
Her face in the mirror
As if it smokes
We flee from she
In tears
As she would bring our world down upon us
Destroyer only, of hopes and dreams
Of subtle ways that are made
With promises she would break
For where there is sin,
And shame
And guilt
There is her smiling face
Ready to embrace
All
~~
##___##
She stood back perfectly upright infront of the altar addressing the daily gathering silently for the time being. The temple was an elaborately decorated place. Large gilt statues towered over her on both sides. The walls were painted with dark frescos, picturing mysterious mythical events that were embroiled in pain and power, stormy clouds cluttering their climatic scenes.
"We knew there was a seer. Yet you failed to bring her to me, she still walks freely down their corridors. You failed us. What could have been out tool is a potential liability. You will pay for it Micah, in the only way that is respectful."
She glanced to the man on her left hand side and gave a short nod.
Micah caved in on the floor clothed in rags, begging for forgiveness in front of an audience of the rest of the followers.
Two of them dressed in an ominous black appeared, to drag him away.
The priestess paid no attention to his cries and pleas and did not speak til he had left the confines of the sacred space.
"Does anyone else care to do justice to our master? Do not speak without caution for you know what will happen if you are to fail."
One of the brown robed figures of the crowd left her hunched friend and rose to the platform at the centre, kneeling to the priestess.
"I believe I know how we can use the seer to our advantage."
The priestess warned her verbally, tsking her for her lack of consideration.
"You miss the point that we do not have the seer, Eliza. You should think more carefully about whatever it is you plan."
The woman dared to look back up to her, meeting the blackened eyes of the dark witch with her own equally startling violet ones. They contracted in fear as she spoke back to the higher member of the order.
"Mistress, forgive me but you miss the point. We do not need to have the seer. There is another way."
The priestess walked away from her, skimming her fingers over the boiling black water of the centrepiece of the temple. She stared into its dark abyss with identical emptiness, the temperature not scolding any of her fingers as she dipped them into its depths.
The flames beneath the black waters and its ceremonial bowl writhed in torment to its limits.
"Really; pray do tell all, and you shall be shown that rewards too come from his might."
+++++
##Hermione##
Two words had taken her life away from her.
Two words. Too many years ago.
The memory was fresh, as it is with anything that happens to change you that much.
The memory of that day wasn't happy for her; for everybody else maybe.
///---Flashback---////August, two months after graduation.
The flowers smelled delightful in the fresh light air in the church. Such a thing would have made her smile if she hadn't been here and it hadn't been happening.
It was halfway through the ceremony.
She didn't know why she hadn't said something earlier.
She'd half expected Ron to burst in protesting the union, he hadn't and she'd not had the courage to spoil the happy day as it was for all the gathered persons.
Much of the Hogwarts staff were assembled here, including Severus Snape to her surprise. Harry had invited him but no one had thought he'd actually come.
Harry's guests took up most of the building right and left of the aisle, not only because of his plentiful list of friends and close to relatives but also because of May's lack of any. Her guests consisted of a wrinkly fussy deaf man, her great-uncle and only living relative and one female friend, who was a sharp pointed spiteful looking woman who she was fortunate not to be sitting next to.
For her the backbench had been the best comfort. Further enough away that she could pretend she hadn't heard the words, that she wasn't here in a church at Harry Potter's wedding.
Back in the old days of being 3rd years she'd imagined that she'd be ecstatic on any of her friends wedding days. Especially Harry's, he had so much pain that he deserved happiness. But life hadn't figured out that way.
Ron wasn't even here.
Even Snape had turned up, albeit looking thoroughly bored and acting like the whole affair was moronic. He disdainfully sat watching May who wistfully watched her soon to be husband.
Ron hadn't.
Why had she?
She could have spared herself the pain.
The answer was easy.
Spare herself pain, whilst inflicting it on others.
It would break Harry's heart if she hadn't accepted the invitation.
She came despite the fact it broke hers to be in the sight of this event.
"Harold James Potter do you take Elizabeth May Grinshot to be your lawful wedded wife. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, til the end of your days?"
"I do"
It rang in my ears.
He'd said yes.
A second 'I do' came in the sweet melodic voice of May the next minute.
Both of them had said it.
Like everyone else hoped, like I had known would be true.
Nothing could stop it now.
It was done.
My life was over.
The reception was average. A bad band played in the background heralded the choice of a muggle wedding as Harry had wanted, and she sat drinking a glass of wine.
She'd lost count of how many times men had asked her to dance. She preferred to wallow in the depths of her misery after this morning, finding it best to wallow in the wine for a slow descent into a stupor that would hopefully take the pain from her. Or at least replace it with anger.
Had it all been her fault?
That it ended up as this.
Separate.
The comfort that she wasn't the only one having a bad life or day didn't work anymore.
So what if Snape despised it all? So did she. Not on the same grounds though.
Snape hated these sorts of events. He also, she took it, found May to be less than great.
Much like Ron had.
Ron had gone to the extreme of telling Harry he hated May. That he didn't like her one bit. Because of this the trio didn't exist any longer. But neither was it a glorious due. Things never had been since sixth year. Only the lack of Ron introduced this to the forefront. Harry had gone. Left their lives forever. Forever but for owl posts and dutiful visits to keep up appearances. Too much of that had already been done
From Hermione's eavesdropping of the introduction of the two, May and Snape had an instantaneous dislike. She couldn't see why. Snape should have loved her. Brilliant at potions Harry had said, but Snape wouldn't have stuck around for all the firewhisky in the world.
Snape was now spared that despair for Harry and May had left some time ago for their lovey honeymoon in Scotland.
Then they'd be back to The Grange. She knew she'd never savour saying those words into the floo-fire or thinking them as she apparated. The Grange was as much like all the pain she was tortured with over this, as was May the embodiment of it. The Grange was that place that would for now and all eternity in the Potters minds be the family home.
How long before there was a family to fill it?
And then there would be no room for doubt.
The Potter's were made for each other.
Nothing could pull apart that bond.
///end flashback///
~
Chapter 18
"Anything and Everything"
~
Don't have to do anything really
To do your worst
Only needs to be theory
Needs one little chance
One small glance
One wrong look in the right direction
Don't need to shove it in my face
For me to find out
Because
I can see
And if I do
What will it be
Doesn't need much
One touch
A few friendly talks
More time than necessary spent
Less time on me
Then I could see;
There was something else
Of importance
Over the days I'd find
That
I was drowning in insignificance
It became greater for you
And I further into the deep
Sinking away from your life
Whilst still in it
Right next to you
With no right
Don't have to do anything really
Lack of love's enough
To break my heart
~
##Cassandra##
She got up, pushing her arms out to her sides to support her body.
The sun shone down into the room, indicating what the quietness had already told her. Everyone else was already up.
She'd slept in.
That never happened.
Usually the dreams would wake her in the early hours of the morning and she'd spend the rest of the witching time til dawn holding herself tight trying to forget what she'd seen.
She always saw things in the night. In the day it came and went depending on events. But the night, the darkness had always found its way to her unconscious mind. Telling her all of the horrid delights life held for others. That was the inescapable.
And now it had gone. Suddenly.
What plagued her vanished as quick as the curse had come. A cure. Growing out of it? The world starting to be a better place? Who knew. She was only grateful. And hopeful the next time she slept that it would be as peaceful.
+++++
##Flora##
Flora sighted the black haired boy from entering the hall. It was light, barely any Slytherins were up right this time. Only the cheerful hufflepuff's cherished a premature morning start. As she approached the table she saw he sat there on his own, picking over porridge. Rather unappetising but she could see why. He was punishing himself. He felt guilty. Just like her.
"Leander?" her voice quivered with uncertainty about whether he'd reply
"Flora"
It didn't sound like he hated her. It was more despondent than anything else.
"I'm sorry. I was stupid. It was so silly and I shouldn't have said that about you. I know you are better than him. Anastis was probably right. The unattainable desire."
She made a face indicating she couldn't have been any more ignorant of that delectable matter.
"I regret it. If I hadn't done anything then… she'd… probably… still be here."
Her eyes set downcast in shame. There wasn't anything worse that she'd done in her life. This one thing that was so incredibly silly and flippant of her and it could have cost a dear friend her existence, pain at best.
He looked up at her mortified.
"It's not your fault."
"What? Of course it is. I caused all that trouble." She flapped her hands around trying to demonstrate her anxiety at what he was saying. "You didn't condem her. You didn't make her run away. You didn't do anything except be yourself and kind and nice to me. Despite me being the worst kind of witch imaginable."
"I guess" he returned to his porridge dejectedly.
She couldn't stand the way he thought about this, she had to persuade him. She grabbed him arm yanking him around to face her "No. It was never your fault if it was even anybodies. I don't care what you think you did. You didn't. if there was someone to blame, blame me."
He stared at her and stated it like the obvious "I can't. I can't blame you. I think I love you."
She let go of his arm, not having expected that and meanwhile he apologised
"I'm….sorry. …I didn't mean to say that. It just came out… I only want to be friends…but please….don't blame yourself."
She studied his face, thinking it over, wondering why he let his emotions stumble out openly.
"Okay. I think we can manage that" she said cheerfully, she took his arm once more as she sat down with him so he was no longer alone "… as long as neither of us try to place the blame. Then maybe we'll be ok. All of us. Somehow. And you and me."
+++++
##Hermione##
They sat frigidly at the table. The dinner on the plates picked through. The atmosphere between them frosty, no words uttered hostile or not.
They looked at anything but themselves.
Hermione got up and Harry immediately rushed out of his chair to her, meeting by the window where she gave him a challenging look, "What?" she didn't care for the answer he knew but he replied anyway
"We need to talk."
She laughed manically for a short second
"Do we? Really. REALLY. I hadn't noticed. Not one bit."
Her face was contorted in a callous sarcasm that she'd responded in.
"Hermione…"
A tawny owl bearing the Hogwarts crest entered the open top window and hovered over them waiting for instructions.
Her face lit up in that same fantastic heartlessness.
"A letter. Might as well be for you. After all it is from your daughter."
Hermione stampeded out the room heatedly, taking with her any warmth Harry had felt. A door slammed in the distance.
Leaving Harry with a letter in his hand.
~
When all is right
Do you ever ask
Why
Or do you accept
This how it ought to be
When all is right
Does anyone ever ask
Who made it so
~
##Elianne##
They sat in the library, Cassy happily writing her potions essay.
"What's up with you?" Lucretia asked slyly
"Nothing" she'd answered in a short sparky way
"Of course not. Should have known"
Lucretia had been like this for the last week. Anything that came out of her mouth was the joyous prize of trouble. She'd lost 70 house points already. That hadn't won her any praise.
None of this week's comings and going had either.
No news on the research into Cassy's gift, no help from Cassy herself and no better response from the student population.
Elianne felt worried about Cassy's sudden brightness, it meant she hadn't had any visions but she didn't know if that was a good thing yet.
And none of the books in the ordinary library had helped. All the divination books were being used by the new third years and it was doubtful they'd contain what was needed.
She chanced a whisper to Lucretia
"It's no good, I think we need to look in the restricted section."
Behind them a hearty malevolent laugh echoed inot their ears.
They both turned to the regrettable façade of Ian Trickett, 2nd year Ravenclaw and bully galore.
"What's that Malfoy? Planning on exploring the dark books, taking up your family legacy. Rid the world of mudbloods, honour the dark master and pass this years exams, huh?"
His dumb face leered over them both smugly.
Lucretia shocked them, most of all Ian, by talking back
"No actually. I thought I might rid the world of you, for the sake of every students sanity."
A few people faintly laughed at her joke, wondering what Ian would do next. He didn't do anything.
"What is it with you Trickett? Can't take a joke. A simple little harmless joke. What is it I hear? Oh gasp she's a Malfoy, she'll curse you to hell's bound and chains. Oh no. What a shame for you. But luckily…" she spat the words out one by one "I'm not a Malfoy in spirit. Maybe I have their blood in me, but I wish it were anything but, anything you hear me, anything. Anything at all. I'm not my father's daughter. I hate them. I despise them, Malfoys. And I despise you. I pity you."
Ian trembled slightly in front of them and turned and walked stunned to his own table of friends.
Lucretia glared at the whole library with menace.
"Is that enough for you? Is it a good enough show? Is it? Want any more of the famed Malfoy wrath?"
She spun out not waiting for any non-existent answers.
~
Sorry doesn't cover
Everything you did
Because you can't know
What everything is
~
##Harry##
Harry and Hermione stood opposite each other.
"Did you read it?"
He'd have been genuinely scared if he hadn't
"Yes." He tried to sound solid in the manner he said it.
"And?"
*What now, what did she mean?*
"And…?"
"Don't you get it? Its everything. Where have you been for the last decade, what were you doing, why now, why not before, why did you leave us alone, why didn't you say anything. All I needed was one word from you, one word, just one word…"
He watched as she spirally out of control with questions.
Questions he couldn't answer
"WHERE?" she screamed at him.
Had it meant so much to her? To know where he was. Would she be satisfied with his answer. It wasn't what she'd be thinking of, not what anyone could realistically expect. None of it made sense.
"WHERE for Merlin's sake?!" tears ran down her face, its shape twisted out of recognition in living grief.
She wanted to know. She needed to know. He had to say.
"I …don't…… know"
His eyes met hers and she saw he wasn't lying.
Her tone softened as she spoke in a queer wonder "How?"
"I…don't.. know, …either"
Her face scrunched up in the sheer strangeness of what couldn't be.
His face stayed placid and pale. A small panic in his features, barely noticeable.
"How could this be? You're alive but you don't know what you did or where you were for the last ten eleven years. You should have been dead."
His face shifted slightly at what she said
"I think I was."
///flashback////one month after graduation
##Hermione##
She leant on the bar waiting for them.
The letter had been a shock.
For her.
What would Ron think?
Mind you that was different, he was Harry's best friend but he wasn't stupidly infatuated with him.
What it had said wouldn't have made Ron afraid.
Because Ron didn't live in fear of what might or might not happen.
Ron had a healthy friendship.
Harry and Hermione had something else.
That no one noticed. That neither questioned openly. That was always, but never resolved.
And now it looked like Harry had resolved it, in his mind.
The parchment had been crisp, his handwriting flourished, him happy and excited in the way he wrote.
And then he mentioned it.
I met someone. A girl named May, she's French-English. Black hair, violet eyes, beautiful, lovely, kind. I know you'll love her
Just as much as I do
A whirlwind romance, it seemed.
Something out of the blue.
Nothing really made sense it that.
All the years they'd not been together and he hadn't ever been out with anyone much, nothing serious.
But he spoke of marrying her, a girl he'd only known for a month, since he'd left to explore the world starting fatefully in France.
+++++
Ron hadn't taken it well.
The words rung around Harry's head.
"You don't know her. What about her family, her history, her background? It's too soon." He'd protested.
Love didn't care about that
Ron tried evermore.
All the way to his house to sway him from his announcement of marriage.
"It's not right. I don't like it. You can't be naïve in times like this. You can't trust her. I don't want you hurt."
Yet he'd hurt him. By not being his best man - he'd said he'd hated her and would rather Avada Kedavra himself than willingly help Harry bind himself to her -, by not being at the wedding.
Hermione never said anything about her. She was the constant. His one reliable…person…friend. She'd sat at the bar and said goodbye quietly while he and Ron had stormed off arguing.
She trusted him.
And he trusted May.
//end flashback///
##Harry##
"I did die, somehow I know that. And Sirius found me in august, thinking I was dead at first. I was weak, incredibly weak. I was on the brink of life and death, barely there. Siruis waited til Halloween, and did a strength spell, it needed that date, that's why I never came back til Halloween. I haven't been alive, I couldn't have seen you or Elianne. My memory isn't all there so I don't know what happened to me that night or anywhere after. But I know I did die. I know it was Voldemort and what killed me killed him too. But he wasn't alone."
Hermione looked up tenderly at her friend. Life never stopped taking on twists for him. His days had always been tired and drawn out, with pain and problems.
"I'm sorry."
"So am I."
One way or another they knew it wasn't just the shouting and the anger that they were apologising for. Everything had led to this point. Everything was what it was about.
+++++
##___##
The black waters swirled into a vortex, mirroring a picture.
"It works" one of the figures exclaimed
"Of course it works. It had to." Eliza lifted her head to meet the eyes of the high priestess who smiled in approval.
Eliza moved to the side whilst her crooked friend helped the decrepit old witch join them, standing in over the basin to interpret the signs.
She grinned toothlessly
"It's pain my lady. Exquisite mad pain." She said it mirthfully dancing slightly
Eliza nodded reassuringly to her friend, who lifted his dark scarlet eyes to hers worried.
She relieved him with a knowing look and her words. "She's a little mad but she knows what she speaks of."
The tainted old woman gasped and giggled at the dark pit of images.
She curved to Eliza saying calculatingly "you took her pain away, you gave it to me, thank you, thank you. So pleased. I'm so pleased."
Eliza sneered, the witch took too long, it was only hers as long as she said so.
"Hurry up. We need to know what it says." Eliza did not want to incur the vengeance that had befallen Micah. In this order, those who failed where no more. They ceased to be anything. Their cause was everything.
The lady smiled unhappily and set to the task.
"She lies in the past. So sweetly put in her despair. Our lady fine in grace is here. It is time. The moon is risen to its place in the stars, he our god is in them, ready to be."
The priestess jumped out of the chair and walked to the witch as fast as possible without disgracing herself.
"She's here? Now? It is for real this time?"
The witch looked around at their wide eyes and beamed in her insanity gone wrong.
"The Cwendendia is upon us. khadeorc dei gratia. The victory in hand. Bless the child's mind, it is our gift from the hells. The prophecy proper."
The priestess smiled back at the gypsy bitingly
"A feast to the rising of what must come. That we shall bring and we shall be rewarded duly."
~