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Secret Smile by Epona
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Secret Smile

Epona

Authors Notes: Thanks for the reviews I got! They really helped. Especially the people who picked up on my likeness of the overuse of commas, I'm gonna try to keep it down a little in this chapter, k?

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this fic anymore, I did have a full plot worked out in my head, but now it's gone to pot. So, I'm just going to wing it and see what brilliant plans my head comes out with! ^_^

Once again, thank you so much for all the reviews! They are greatly appreciated and they spur me on to write new chapters!

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Harry stayed in the Hospital wing for a week, with frequent visits from Ron and Hermione. They stayed with him religiously, in every free moment they had. Harry knew that they were only there to make him feel better and keep him company, but he couldn't help but get the feeling that they didn't really want to be there at all. Except for Hermione. She stayed with him from dawn till dusk on weekends, even if Ron didn't, and talked with him endlessly about all kinds of things. They had touched on the subject of Harry's living conditions at home, but Harry had steered the conversation towards something else.

He had visits from other people too. The Gryffindor Quidditch team came to see how they were, and Angelina apologised for shouting at him that night. Harry waved it off with a smile. His other friends; Neville, Dean and Seamus also came to see him, laden down with pockets and pockets of Honeydukes sweets, trying to get him to eat. Even Hagrid came to see how he was, though he had no idea why Harry was there. Harry knew that if he did he would get worked up, and plot some kind of revenge on the Dursleys, maybe including a pair of pig's ears and a tail.

It was for this reason that Harry did not tell anyone about his dismal life at home, even if it would clear up the mystery of why he was in the Hospital wing in the first place. He figured that it would cause people to worry about him, which was not something he wanted. He got enough sympathy from people for being an orphan, and he hated sympathy. He didn't like to be made out to be weak, he couldn't. For he was the 'boy who lived', the one who the wizarding world was counting on to rid the world of the evil Voldemort. He couldn't let people know that some… muggle… had gotten to him.

After a while, however, people stopped visiting, and it became slightly more boring, even Ron's visits were becoming a rare occurrence. He hadn't eaten in a few days, even though he knew very well that he should. He just didn't feel hungry, and refused all the food that Madam Pomfrey offered him, even the sweets that people had brought him. He felt tired more than usual, though he suspected this was because he wasn't eating properly. Three days of this went on before he had Hermione scolding him for it.

"Harry, you have to eat, to keep your strength up."

Harry looked at the tray of pumpkin pie on his lap and pulled a grimace on his handsome young face. Even if pumpkin pie was his favourite, he still didn't feel any more hungry.

"I don't want to. I'm not hungry."

She sighed and flopped down in the chair right next to his bed, letting her head rest on his arm, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. He looked down at her and couldn't help but smile. She looked so adorable.

"Please, Harry?" She pleaded, her eyes boring into his and he felt himself giving in, even if he wasn't hungry. "Eat it? For me?"

He gave her a mock dirty look. She was treating him like a baby, but he couldn't be mad with her. Instead he tried to steer the conversation towards something else.

"Where's Ron?" He inquired, wondering why he hadn't seen him for a couple of days. "I haven't seen him in a while… He hasn't got a new girlfriend or something has he?"

Hermione looked away, becoming seemingly very interested on the pattern of the curtains. Harry stared at her.

"He… um… won't be coming back here for a while…" She replied, still interested in the pattern of the curtain.

"Why not?" Harry was puzzled. "Was it something… I did?"

Hermione looked up at him in shock, her eyes telling him a silent no.

"Of course it isn't! How could you have done something from in here? No, it's more… my fault… really."

Harry was even more puzzled. Hermione and Ron had fallen out again, so Ron couldn't come to see him? Harry wondered what they must have fallen out over to cause that. He knew that Ron really liked Hermione, and had really been trying this year not to screw anything up between them. He watched Hermione as she looked down at her hands, her long bushy chestnut curls dangling down on one side of her face, casting a shadow on it. He noticed how much she had changed since last year, her face was more womanly, her frame filling out a little more. He knew that Hermione was growing up with the rest of them, he just hadn't taken it in. However he noticed it now as he watched her staring at her hands worriedly. He couldn't believe that it was all Hermione's fault that Ron didn't come to visit, somehow, It just couldn't be.

"I'm sure it's not all your fault… Have you two had a row again?"

She nodded, and looked back up at Harry again. They locked eyes for a split second, and Harry felt a strange sense of comfort, and a spark of something in his stomach. He put it down to not eating.

"What was it about, if you don't mind me asking?"

Hermione hesitated. Her face was passive, and Harry couldn't read what she was thinking. Suddenly she straightened up and shook her head, and stood up to lean on the side of the bed.

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure we can sort it out for ourselves, don't worry about it. Now…"

She picked up the fork from the tray of pumpkin pie, and tried to hand it to him. He just stared blankly, a dry look on his face that clearly said; 'Yeah, right.'

"You gonna eat this for me? Because I'm not leaving until you do, and I warn you, I can get annoying if I have to."

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She didn't leave the hospital wing until at least 10 o'clock, not satisfied until Harry had eaten at least half of the pie. She was getting more and more worried about him, and now that he had stopped eating, he was growing thinner and weaker by the day. She trudged into the common room, feeling totally exhausted. She reached the large red sofa, and threw herself onto it, sitting and staring at the embers in the fire burning out.

Laying there for a while, she contemplated on their earlier conversation. Harry seemed really upset that Ron hadn't come to visit him in a while. She watched as his face fell when she told him he wouldn't be coming back to visit him for a bit. He asked why, he even went as far as to blame himself. Hermione felt so bad for him, having to stay there day after day, bored out of his mind. He only had her as a regular visitor, Ron knew that. After their argument the other night however, he had promised not to go to visit Harry again.

It had started as soon as they got back from the Hospital wing, Hermione trudging onto the couch and settling herself onto the sofa. Crookshanks immediately came at her, jumping onto the sofa next to her and snuggling in cosily. Ron had sat himself in the chair nearest the fire, and seemed a little tense about something. Hermione had asked what it was, and Ron just shrugged her off, claiming that it didn't matter. He got up and left for the boy's dormitories, mumbling something about it not being as important as Harry, and why didn't she scoot off back to the hospital wing like a good girlfriend. She had heard this and gotten angry, and they had a shouting match, more vicious and more hurtful than ever before. He had admitted to her his feelings for her, and in her anger, she had told him that she felt nothing for him, and her feelings for him as even a friend were fast fading. She told him she hated the way he was always teasing her, and how he never accepted the fact that she liked to do well in school. In turn, he told her that she was following Harry around like a lost sheep all the time, and he was sick of it. He hated the fact that once again, Harry had something he didn't, and he didn't even ask for it. He told her he wouldn't bother to go to see Harry anymore, that was Hermione's job, to hang around and wait on him like an obedient puppy.

They hadn't talked since, and every time their eyes met in the corridors they just scowled and looked away. Ron's words stung her, they played over and over again in her head at night. In her thoughts during the day he was always there, shouting at her, telling her that she was Harry's lost puppy. The sad thing was, she thought as she sat there in front of the blazing fire, there was some element of truth behind it.

Before Harry had fallen ill, they had been almost inseparable. Harry still hung around with Ron, but he and Hermione had begun to do a lot more together, taking walks out by the lake, or going down into the kitchens for a late night snack. She loved her weekly walks around the lake with Harry, it gave her a chance to talk to him. They were rarely ever silent, when they were it was comfortable, a friendly silence. They would sit and chat for hours, if it got cold, Harry would put his arms around her, or offer his cloak. She would lean on his shoulder and they would sit and watch the moon, forgetting the time and trudging into the common room in the early hours of the morning.

She leaned back and sighed, her thoughts of Harry causing a small, peaceful smile to creep onto her face. She loved his company. Ron was right, she did follow him around. Only if he wanted her to of course, but she would always be right there if he wanted her to. She only wished that he would want her there now, and be able to open up to her about his life at home. She hoped that he would tell her soon after he had collapsed, but he had kept it to himself. Whenever she brought the conversation round that way, he had either changed the subject or fallen silent, and Hermione knew he was hiding it. She decided that maybe the best approach would be the direct one, and she wondered whether to just ask him straight out. But would he tell her? Or would he just fall silent and mumble that he didn't want to say? She couldn't push him, but one way or another, she would get it out of him, even if it killed her.