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Secret Smile by Epona
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Secret Smile

Epona

Authors notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I love it when people try to guess what's coming next! Heh, still, no one has hit it right on the head yet, but there are a few close guesses!

I'm hoping to get this fic recommended on the forums… I've heard that a lot of people have it in their favourites :D(Thanks for that!). ^_^

So… on the story!

*

When Ron and Hermione left the Hospital Wing that evening, Harry's face fell. He didn't think he could bear imagining them walking through the long draughty halls of Hogwarts, holding hands, Hermione forcing a fake smile as Ron unsuspectingly draped an arm around her, protecting her from the cold. Harry wanted to do that. He wanted to be the one to keep her warm from the cold, and snuggle cosily with her in front of the warm Gryffindor Common room fire, watching the dusky autumn sky turning into a spectrum of pinks, red and oranges. He wanted to watch her as the dim twilight fell on her face, as see whether it was possible for her to look any more beautiful than she already did. He wanted to be the one to give her a goodnight kiss.

He watched them rise from their seats, Ron throwing a smile at Hermione, who threw back a fake one. They told him they'd be back tomorrow, and that he should eat something tonight. Walking through the white walled wing to the exit, Harry noticed that Hermione had let her bulging school bag next to his bed. He was about to call out to her before she left, to tell her to come back to get it, but before he could she came bounding through the curtains, a cheeky smile on her face, and Harry got the strong impression that she had left it there on purpose. Picking it up, she leaned over to Harry's face with her pretty pure smile, and breathed softly to him.

"I want my goodnight kiss…"

He laughed gently and planted a soft chaste kiss on her beautiful rosy red lips. Giggling slightly, she kissed him back quickly before disappearing through the pink flowered curtains. He heard her footsteps as she ran back to Ron, and he settled down in his stiff white linen Hospital bed, a firm, pure, warm smile fully fixed on his face. He had never felt happier. All his life he had no proper family, no love from any of the Dursleys. He hadn't had any friends at primary school; they were all too scared of Dudley's gang to even talk to him. Stuck under the cupboard under the stairs, he grew up not knowing what love was, of course he'd heard of it, but he thought that it only existed in some people, not for him.

Now however, he thought as his brilliant green eyes faded into tiredness and his heavy eyelids drooped, he knew the exact meaning of love. People had told him that someone his age couldn't even begin to understand the complexity and meaningfulness of love, but he did. The meaning of love for him was a simple answer, Hermione. She was his meaning.

His eyes drooped and closed gently, and thoughts of moonlit walks entered his head. Once he got out of here, he promised himself sleepily as he lay there, sleep washing over him like waves on a deserted evening beach, he would take Hermione on the most beautiful, most romantic moonlit walk they had ever had. He would take his Firebolt, and they would sail over the lake, and maybe fly across the moonlit sky over to one of the castle roofs, where they could sit and hold each other, basking in each other's silent company.

He drifted off slowly, thoughts of a certain secret smile floating across his love struck dreams.

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Walking back to the Gryffindor common room was a silent affair for Ron and Hermione, holding hands and awkwardly walking side by side. She knew Ron kept chancing small glances at her, but she tried to ignore it as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was dozing. Prodding her awake, they gave the password, Tiddly om- pom pom again, and slipped through the hole without a word to each other. When they reached the portrait hole, Ron sat down on the couch tensely, waiting for Hermione to join him. She looked apologetically at him and announced that she was tired, and that maybe she would go to bed.

"Tired, again? Or are you just avoiding me?"

Hermione turned around from walking slowly to the girls dorms stairs, and gave Ron a fake questioning look.

He knew. He had picked up on her and Harry's behaviour today and wanted answers. Quite rightly so, Hermione couldn't blame him, but she was dreading being the one to give them to him.

"What do you mean?" She edged closer to the couch, tentatively, still looking at Ron. His eyes were full of hurt, which made her heart pang. She didn't love him, but he was still her best friend, still hers and Harry's best friend. She hated to do this to him.

"You know what I mean. Every time you come back from the Hospital wing, you go immediately to bed. You haven't stayed up with me since the day I asked you out. You won't let me kiss you most of the time, you won't let me touch you… yet you let Harry… why is that?"

She dropped her gaze to the floor, and walked softly around the scarlet velvet couch to sit beside Ron, whose face was passive. Gazing at her hands, she began to mumble softly, she couldn't hold it in any longer. She had to tell him, she couldn't do this to him. If she told him now she could be with Harry, he loved her. She knew he would stand by her, he said so himself.

"I'm sorry, Ron, I'm so sorry… it wasn't meant to happen, it wasn't…" she started, glancing up at his face, her beautiful deep brown eyes beginning to rain tears. "We never wanted to hurt you, you have to remember that…"

Hearing the way she was talking, Ron backed away. He looked away from her with a pale face and a shocked expression. Emitting a soft sob, she tried to grab his hands softly, but he pulled them from her grasp and looked at her with disgust written on his face.

"Didn't mean to hurt me? What do you mean by that exactly, Hermione?"

She covered her eyes with her soft hands, and started to choke on her words through the tears, her eyes drowning in guilt and remorse.

"He… came to me in the middle of the night… he was so afraid… he told me… what they did to him. They treated him like a slave, Ron… they beat him and took his money and food…"

Ron's face softened a little with this revelation, and he sat back in his chair, still with the shocked expression. With a movement that made Hermione jump he turned to her, his eyes questioning and angry.

"So what did you do?"

"I… I hugged him for a while… he cried… and then…"

She turned away from him to stare tearfully into the flames of the Gryffindor fire, wishing for some of that Gryffindor bravery now. Ron began to look disgusted again as he seized her shoulders and made her face him.

"Then what!"

She let out a loud sob and buried her face in her hands once again. She wished she had Harry here with her; everything would be ten times easier.

"I kissed him okay! I kissed him! I love him, Ron! And he loves me! I can't help it!"

She broke away from and stood, her tears streaming fully down her cheeks, as she ran to the portrait hole desperately. Turning around to look ruefully at Ron, she shouted through her tears.

"Don't blame Harry for this! It's my fault! I kissed him! We love each other, Ron! I'm sorry!"

With that, she burst from the common room with an indignant shout from the Fat Lady, and blindly made her way through the corridors of Hogwarts, her tears blurring her vision and her sobs muffled as she tried to pull herself together. Running blindly through the long stone corridors, her heart pounded in her ears. She felt totally awful; she couldn't believe she had just said that to Ron. She was sure she must have sounded horrible.

She ran to the only place, the only person who she could find solace in. Harry.

Bursting in through the large white door of the Hospital Wing, she ran flat out down the long ward, thinking it must be a miracle that Madam Pomfrey hadn't heard her yet by the amount of banging she was making. She reached Harry's curtains and flung them desperately open, to find Harry sitting up slowly, his eyes sleepy, confused and spectacle-less. She gave one sad look into those beautiful green eyes before flinging herself weakly onto his chest and sobbing hard. His strong comforting arms circled around her as she sobbed into his bare chest, and she felt him plant a small kiss in her hair. Sniffing sadly, she managed to mumble into his shirt.

"I told him, Harry. I've told him."

She felt Harry's arm tense up, and he brought a soft, weather-beaten finger underneath her wet and pale chin. She weakly let her head be lifted up so she was looking into Harry's eyes, and she immediately felt calmer than a second ago. Smiling reassuringly, Harry brought his face to hers, and they shared a tender, beautiful kiss.

Breaking away slightly, she smiled as Harry picked up his wand from his bedside table with some difficulty due to the fact that Hermione had her full weight on him. Smiling cheekily back, he softly muttered a silencing charm on the curtains, as she had done the night when he came to her room. When finished, he immediately dropped his wand to the floor, where it fell with a loud clatter. When there was no response from Madam Pomfrey, Hermione giggled and threw her arms around him, as he mischievously pulled the covers under them both.

That night they bonded with undying love and loyalty to each other, completely forgetting about Ron, about all the other problems they had in the world. It was sheer bliss, not having to sneak around, and being able to give themselves wholly to each other in every respect. It wasn't until hours later, when they were lying together under the white linen sheets that they remembered about what they were to face.

"What are we going to do, Harry? Do you think Ron will ever talk to us again?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably, and sighed deeply.

"I don't know. I hope he can forgive us for this… but I can't help it, Hermione… I love you."

"I love you too."

He grinned, and pulled her head softly onto his chest, where he laid a hand on her fluffy chestnut hair. She smiled contentedly, and smiled up at him.

"And even if Ron never forgives us, Harry…" She breathed. "I can live with it… as long as I don't have to live without you…"

Harry looked down at her, his face in a sort of sad smile.

"You'll never be without me… not as long as I live, you hear? Not even Ron can change that."