Unofficial Portkey Archive

Boys Don't Cry

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Only the plot is mine.

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Okay, slight error that I have to change and probably will later on: The Ending Chapters part of the chapter before the last one. That is incorrect, and I will have to ask you to ignore that. The next time you will see The Ending Chapters caption is the second to the last chapter of this fic. Another error: Harry's age. Harry is only 17, turning 18 in the summer (a big thanks to the reviewer who pointed this out, a while back). Sorry for my miscalculations, and I may or may not change it later on; depends on whether I feel like it. But I think I might as well, if I am going to change that `Ending Chapters' thing. Once again, my apologies.

Yes, I know that when I ramble on it is boring and you want to skip ahead, but every author has his or her ramblings about one thing or another; so just bear with it. Yes, over the writing of this chapter I have received an amount of reviews (they were quite offensive, but I don't know if it's considered as a true flame) telling me this story was dragged on way too long and that if I `cut here or there, it might actually be good.' Gee whiz, thank you ever so much for bringing up my spirits! However, as I look at it, I'm not quite so sure myself if this fic is really all that good, but every bad fic has its own fan base too, I noticed. So, it really is just all up to the person. I don't think there will be a truly good fanfic or story or movie in everyone's eyes. Everyone has different tastes; everyone can like one thing and dislike another. No one is forced to like anything. And though I do agree that my writing can drag on and that I have taken this angst too far, in some opinions, I don't think the turnout is too bad. It's not the best, not even near it, but it's an accomplishment and it's practice. And, as people say, Practice makes perfect.

So, to those who have felt that reading this rather long fic and felt that it was a complete waste of time and energy, too bad for your loss because we cannot all be good writers and storytellers, now, can we? I try not to be rude and keep an open mind on some cases, but some people get rather fed up. I appreciate the effort on letting me know on how unsatisfactory my writing is, and I thank you for your effort. I think that should not be left unmentioned. But, a vast thank you to the loyal reviewers who gave my fic such a chance and let me tell my story and left comments to encourage; my gratitude cannot be measured in anyway at all. Thank you.

And to the lovely fenriswolf. I recognize your name. You reviewed for my other fic. Not such a pleasant review, but a review all the same. I haven't read any of your pieces but I'm sure they're great. After all, I was reading over the votes and nominees for the awards and I saw that you were on it. I wish you the best of luck, though you thought my fic was disappointing. I appreciate your criticism though sometimes it can come off rather harsh. I think that in this world, we all need to get used to critics and comments that put us down if we want to make it. Thanks again to everyone.

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Remember

"Harry, what are your plans after Graduation?" Seamus asked, across the table, while filling his goblet with more pumpkin juice. A few heads turned Harry's way, when his answer was not immediate.

"I… I really don't know," Harry admitted, picking at his food. It had been two days since he had stepped out of the Hospital Wing, and still no word about Hermione's recovery. He knew he shouldn't worry, but it came so easily, and he just couldn't help it.

"Ron, what about you? What are your plans?"

"Merlin, Seamus, must you ask every single person what their plans are after Graduation? What's it to you, anyway?" Ron said, grabbing another muffin hastily from the plate across his.

"I don't know. My mum and dad are asking me what I'm going to do with my life, and I was hoping that you guys would help me think of something."

"Well, I'm buying my own flat, since my grandma's passed away," Neville offered. Seamus snorted.

"Really, Neville? Are you sure? You're absolutely positive? Don't you think you'd get a bit… scared?" Seamus raised both his hands and wiggled his fingers, imitating a menacing ghost or monster, his eyes wide to look threatening. Neville shot him a glare, scowling. "What if the boogeyman creeps out of your closet? Or better yet, what if he calls all of his little friends to come crawling out of your bed to haunt you? Or… or, what if he calls Snape back from the dead and he comes to haunt you?" Seamus erupted in a burst of laughter, as other listeners at the table also joined in.

"You're such a dimwit, Seamus," Neville huffed. "I can make it on my own, I'm going to live in my own flat."

"Neville, you're going to come running to your next door neighbor, bawling like a little baby," Seamus chuckled. "You've always been a little scaredy-cat. Don't try to deny it."

"Shut up," Neville snapped. "I don't hear you making any plans after Graduation, you big sissy. You're scared out of your wits more than the lot of us are. Admit it. You're scared, that's why you're going back to your mummy and daddy and mooch off of them until you're fifty."

"Hey!" Seamus said. "That's not true! That's not true at all!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it," Neville narrowed his eyes at him.

"Boys, boys," Ron cut in. "Don't get into it. You're both going to do fine. Whether it be living with your mum and dad, or living with the monsters and boogeyman."

"Hey!" Neville and Seamus both cried out. Ron sent them a puzzled but amused look, before they went back to their business.

Harry was still absentmindedly staring at his plate. He had barely eaten, but he hadn't had an appetite these past few days. He was just so concerned and worried about Hermione. He knew that she was going to be just fine, but he still found himself thinking about her. He just wanted to see her again. He missed her terribly.

"Harry?" Harry seemed to be in a daze, back into that hazy fog that he often got lost in, ever since the happenings at the Hospital Wing. He seemed to be drifting off into some other world, and he found himself thinking too deeply, or sometimes not even thinking at all. He didn't know what it was.

"Harry?" He was still oblivious to the calling of his name.

Harry snapped out of his trance as he saw a hand waving in front of his face, and his attention suddenly turned to his Ron, who was beside him, looking at him with concern and curiosity evident in his blue eyes.

"Harry, are you alright, mate? You've been…. I've called your name twice, and you've been acting really odd, lately. Is there something the matter?" Harry sighed, running a hand through his untamed hair.

"I've just been thinking," Harry said.

"Oh?" Ron raised an eyebrow at him, as he bit into another muffin. "What about?"

"Hermione," Harry said, lowering his gaze. He could hear Ron let out a deep sigh beside him.

"Harry… she's going to be just fine. Believe me when I say that. You've got to loosen up; you heard what Dumbledore and McGonagall said. She's fine, Harry. Relax. Besides, it seems like you're the only one who doesn't have the pre-Graduation jitters. I sure don't look like it, but I do. I'm so scared I'd jump out of my knickers any second someone shouts out that bloody word." Harry managed to crack a smile at his friend's words. He looked at him, and seeing the uneasy and green look on his face, he knew he wasn't kidding.

"Really, Ron? You're scared?" Harry asked, chuckling. His worries about Hermione seemed to fade away, as he let his mind dwell on another matter.

"Don't talk so loud, mate," Ron muttered. "Seamus might hear you. He'll give me the taunting of a lifetime, let me tell you that, and I might not able to resist one last time to tackle him to the floor and beat the bloody pulp out of him. Harry, have you noticed, since when did Seamus become so bloody annoying?" Harry chuckled as he raised his goblet to his lips to take a sip of his pumpkin juice.

"But Ron, what have you got to be afraid of? You're going back to the Burrow, aren't you? Fred and George have gotten their own place; I don't think you've got much to be scared off, unless they're planning to spend some quality time with you," Harry said when he set his cup down on the table.

"Don't jinx it, Harry," Ron snorted. "Mum sent me a letter yesterday and said that Fred and George were thinking about letting me stay over at their place for a while."

"Oh."

"Oh is right. Anyway, enough about me. Were you serious when you said you didn't know what you were going to do after Graduation?"

"Um… yeah, actually, I was."

"You're not kidding? You've got to think of something, Harry, anything."

"I don't know what to think of. I really don't want to actually," Harry admitted.

"Don't tell me that the concept of the future and getting a job scares you?" Ron asked, distorting his face, clearly disgusted. "Because, mate, well, let's just say you're not alone."

"Hey, Ron, whatever happened with you and Luna?" Harry asked, taking note of the blush that appeared on his face once he mentioned her name. Harry grinned widely, while Ron lowered his gaze, the flush on his cheeks getting brighter and redder. "Come on, Ron, you've got to tell me."

"Oh, alright then. She wants to see me over the summer."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then why do you look like…."?

"I'm nauseous?"

"Exactly."

"Because, Harry, I've only gone out with her during Hogsmeade trips and that one ball. Nothing special. A few butterbeers, flowers, dances. What am I going to do when…. well; I'm totally clueless at this dating thing, you know, out of Hogwarts. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Ron, I'm sure everything will be just fine. Luna's crazy about you. Just don't do anything foolish."

"That's just it!" Ron exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I don't know what foolish is!" His loud outburst earned a few looks their way and some giggles. Ron blushed even deeper.

"Anyway, you changed the subject," Ron muttered, looking at Harry. "We were talking about you and your plans for the future, not my business with Luna." Harry was silent, as he looked down on his plate.

He really didn't know what he was going to do. He hadn't spent any time thinking about the future, let alone what he was going to do or his plans. He had only thought about marrying Hermione, and that was just about it. Suddenly, a thought flashed through Harry's mind.

He knew he had to ask Ron if it was alright to ask for Hermione's hand in marriage. He didn't know why, maybe it was because Hermione was also his best friend, but he knew he had to do it before he asked her.

Harry looked up at Ron, who was still looking at him expectedly.

"I'm not going to bugger off, you know," he informed Harry. "And don't even try to change the subject, because I will not be swayed as easily as before."

Harry just looked at him, trying to decide whether the time was right. Finally, he looked around to see if anyone was listening, and then he let out a silent sigh. Ron was taking a sip out of his cup when Harry finally asked him.

"Ron, will it be alright with you if I ask Hermione to marry me?" Ron's eyes bulged out, wide with surprise, as he suddenly made a choking noise and not a second later, Harry watched him as he was coughing and choking. Harry made a nervous face, as he reached over and patted Ron on the back, while he was still coughing and spewing out pumpkin juice. Unfortunately, the sudden raucous made people look over, curious and amused.

Finally when Ron had stopped coughing and had gotten better, he turned to Harry, his blue eyes wide with astonishment.

Harry knew what he was going to do, and he tried to warn him before he did it.

"Ron, don't-"

But he was too late.

"You're going to ask her to marry you?" he had shouted, shock and disbelief in his voice. Harry winced, as the table suddenly quieted to a deadly silence and his words rang out in the hall, causing nearby tables to look over.

Harry could feel the burning stares of his peers on him, as he tried his best not to look around. He only looked at Ron, whose face was surprised. There was no glint or hint of oncoming anger in his eyes, just purely shock.

The silence was roaring in his ears, and he could feel his face heating up, his heart pounding. His mouth was dry, as he swallowed and tried to make the rough taste go away. His attempts were not successful.

This was not how he had imagined it would be.

"Oi, did someone say marry?" he heard someone shout across the table. Harry cringed noticeably. He recognized the voice, and he hated it so bloody much right at the moment. Seamus couldn't have come at a worse time. "Who's marrying who?"

Harry didn't answer. His face felt like it was on fire.

"Harry?" Ron asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry glared at him, scowling. Ron looked around, overcoming his momentary shock. He smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to… shout it out loud like that. But Harry… marriage… wow." Harry was still glaring at him, and Ron's face was starting to blush as well, under the fiery eyes of his friend, and, well, everyone else.

"Sorry," he said again.

"Who's marrying who?" the same voice shouted again, and Harry was starting to get really peeved at Seamus. Harry didn't understand why he needed to yell like that; he was only across the table and two seats away from him. Harry thought that the concept that Seamus was making all of this much worse on purpose was not so ludicrous and out of the question, so he settled for that. "Oi, Harry, was that you?" Harry sighed, frustrated. He whirled around, facing Seamus, glaring daggers at him.

"Yes, Seamus, it was me, if you just have the bloody need to know!" Harry exploded at him. He saw people's eyes widen, as Harry winced at the sound of whispers rush around the hall. He turned back around to Ron, who was looking around. Suddenly, he heard yells of objection as Seamus pushed the people sitting in front of him away and occupied their seat. He wound up sitting next to an angry Neville and an irritated Ginny.

"Marriage, Harry? After Graduation? By Merlin, that's the most frightening plan I've heard so far!" Seamus said, leaning towards Harry.

"Shove off, Seamus," Ginny snapped at him. "Harry," she said, smiling, "I think it's romantic."

"Nobody cares about that romantic stuff, Ginny," Seamus whined. "Leave that to those girl talks you have with Parvati and Lavender!"

"Oh, shut up, Seamus," she said.

"Only if you'll stop talking about that sickening romantic-"

"Oh Seamus, shut your bloody mouth," Ron interrupted him. Seamus scowled at him, and Ron glared back, before turning back to Harry. "As you were saying, Harry?" he said pleasantly.

Harry sighed. Everyone was listening now, as he saw Lavender and Parvati trying to scoot closer to hear. He shook his head, and told himself that everyone was bound to find out sooner or later, anyway.

"I asked you if it was alright with you if I asked her to marry me," Harry said, lowering his voice. Seamus had leaned forward to try to hear, as Ginny elbowed him in the rib to get him to sit back down.

"Merlin, Ginny! I was only trying to hear!" Seamus said to her.

"Well your bloody bum was brushing against my arm, and Seamus, don't you dare-"

"So, you were looking at my bum, were you?" Seamus had a mischievous look on his face, grinning.

"Shut up, Seamus," Neville cried out. "Bother someone else's girlfriend!"

"Somebody, please, hex him before I bloody do!" Ginny yelled out, aggravated.

"Seamus!" Ron said, his voice loud. "SHUT UP." Seamus quieted down; due to the look Ron was giving him. Ron turned back to Harry, and a grin was on his face.

"Of course I'm alright with it, Harry," he beamed. "But…" he faltered, uncertainty in his eyes and his smile fading. "Are you sure? I mean… I know you love Hermione and all, but… don't you want to… step out into the world and… you know, date around a bit?"

"Ronald!" Ginny gasped. Ron gave her an apologizing look, while she glared at him, and Harry was struck with a familiarity of Molly Weasley. Ginny had her mother's glares and looks down very well, Harry thought to himself.

"Oi, Ron!" Seamus winced, as he shook his head.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I'm just making sure! He's my best mate! I've got to ask him those questions! He might not be ready for commitment!" Harry laughed, and Ginny, Seamus, Ron and Neville looked over at him, curious to what he had to say.

"Well, Ron…" Harry paused, not quite sure what he had to say. He was most definitely sure that he didn't want to `date around,' but the looks they were giving him were too funny. "I don't really want to date around, but I'll think about what you said," he said, trying to keep a straight face.

Ron sighed, as he put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry, I'm just looking out for you, you know that. But wait, Ginny," he turned his head and put down his hand, "what do you think Hermione might say?"

"Yes, of course!" Ginny exclaimed. Seamus shook his head, as he clicked his tongue.

"I don't know, Harry… girls… are just too odd. Peculiar. All of them are different."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Ginny huffed. "Are you saying she might not say yes?"

"No… and yes," Harry raised his eyebrows at him. "All I'm saying," Seamus said, "is just because Harry thinks he doesn't want to date around doesn't mean Hermione doesn't want to." Ron, Neville and Ginny were all glaring at Seamus.

Harry was silent, Seamus's remark bringing obvious questions in his mind.

What if Hermione did want to date around first?

"Seamus, keep your mouth closed, please," Ron groaned. "You sure know how to bring a man down, don't you?"

"Hey! I was just keeping things in a realistic perspective!" he defended.

"Seamus, advice over the summer; get a girlfriend," Neville said.

"Shut up, Neville. Get a brain."

"Oh, that's witty," Neville snapped. "Real witty, Seamus."

"It's time to face the truth, Neville," Seamus retaliated. "I've heard there's some good and pretty cheap stores where they sell brains over in America; you ought to make a trip there over the summer and buy one. Heck, go crazy and buy two."

"Seamus, you could buy a million brains and you're never going to be smart enough to get a girlfriend."

"That's only for people who have nothing else and choose to settle for brains as their attractive quality to bring up their self-esteem."

"Is that what your mummy tells you? After she tucks you in and reads you your bedtime stories?"

"Okay, Neville, Mr. Big-Shot, you know I'm ten times more handsome and manly than you'll ever be!"

"Oh by Merlin's-Seamus, your ego is bigger than Malfoy's!" Ginny cried out.

"Too manly to get a girlfriend? That's a laugh, Seamus!" Neville snorted.

"I'm saving myself!" Seamus shouted.

"For who? Santa Claus?"

"Oh shut up, Neville."

"Sorry, Seamus, but he's taken by Mrs. Claus. Haven't you read the papers? 50^th anniversary last week!"

"Again, Neville, I could summon Snape up from the dead, you know!"

"Oh yeah right! Go ahead and try!"

"Okay, I will!"

"Okay, go then!"

"I will!"

"Go!"

"I will!"

"I don't see you going!"

"I'm going to go right after your mum's-"

"Boys, Boys!" Ron shouted. "Shut up! Just shut up! Do we need to have a baby-sitter for you two bloody babies? You're always bickering! You're graduating, for Merlin's sake!"

Seamus rolled his eyes and snatched a muffin off the plate, and bit into it, but didn't say another word. Neville reached for his goblet and sipped into it, but kept quiet. Ginny raised her head from the tabletop and started mouthing praises.

Ron sighed, while Harry, beside him, was amused by the bickering but still deep in thought about Seamus's comment.

"Those children," Ron muttered, sighing, as he refilled his cup. "I swear it's like they never get any older." Ron took a sip, as Harry picked up his fork again and picked at his muffin.

He was no longer certain on the matter. Should he ask her? But would she really want to marry him? She loved him, yes, he knew… but would she really want to marry him? Maybe she had planned to date around a bit after Hogwarts, try a relationship with a bloke or two.

Harry's heart sank, as he picked at his muffin.

Did he really want her to try a relationship with another bloke? Did he really want someone else to take her out, talk, and romance her? Did he really want to give another man a chance to fall in love with her just as he had, long ago?

Harry shook his head, as he dropped his fork and stared at the muffin.

No. Not at all. Not a bloody chance in hell.

He loved her; he wasn't prepared to let her go again and give her the chance to fall in love with another bloke and let him sweep off of her feet. Harry didn't want to see her with another man. Harry didn't want to see her with anyone else but him.

He couldn't let her go.

But… if she wanted to date around…

Harry's heart sank even deeper. He didn't know if he could take such a devastating blow.

…maybe he could… sort of court her.

Harry's gaze rose higher.

That was it. He could buy her flowers and wait by her doorstep. He could sing songs to her and he could write her poems.

He would show her exactly how much he loved her and that he wasn't going to let her go.

"Harry?"

Harry stared at his muffin, thinking of his decision.

"Harry?"

Harry knew it was something he would do, despite the overwhelming feel of nervousness and doubt. He had not really… done anything like that before. He had heard stories, and seen some Muggle movies… but well, those were always sort of biased.

"Harry!" Harry practically jumped up from his seat, from the loud and sudden exclamation. Harry was breathing hard, clutching his chest, as he turned over to Ron, who was chuckling at him from his reaction but curiosity twinkling in his blue eyes.

"What?" Harry said, quite irritated. "What is it? Did you really feel the need to scare me like that?"

"Sorry," Ron shrugged. "I was calling you before… but you know, you're Mr. Oblivious nowadays."

"I was just thinking."

"Harry, you're always thinking."

"Yeah, Ron, you should try it, it's what your brain's made for. And I've heard it's quite healthy."

"Ha, ha," Ron said, sarcastically. "Very funny, Harry, oh, you almost made me fall out of my seat. Oh please, tell me more, oh humorous and brilliant one."

"Whatever, Ron."

"Harry, I was only joking. And besides, it's true. You're always out in here, one minute… and the next, you're in space. What were you thinking about, anyway?"

"Hermione."

"Merlin, does she run your mind or what?" Ron asked, shaking his head, as he reached for another muffin. Harry sighed, giving him a look. Ron waved his other hand, as he bit into another muffin. "Sorry, sorry. I forgot. One must never make fun of best mate or his girl, I know."

Harry looked down.

"It's just that, well, what Seamus said-"

"Oh, don't tell me you actually listened to what that old dimwit said!" Ron said.

"Well, Ron, he has a point!" Harry sighed, frustrated. "I don't know. He just made me think, alright?"

"That's amazing. Since Seamus doesn't even think himself. The wonders of our world."

"Ron, cut it out, please, I'm not in the mood."

"Yeah, so I've noticed."

"Ron…."

"Okay, okay, I'm serious now."

"It's just that… what if Hermione does want to date around a bit? Try a relationship with another bloke?"

"That's codswallop, Harry. She loves you. She's crazy about you."

"Well, you know… neither of us know what she thinks…."

"And I thank Merlin for that, Harry. Hermione's mind is working twenty-four hours a day. She doesn't ever sleep. She bloody scares me sometimes, you know?"

"Ron, your mind is asleep all day, everyday," Harry said, dryly. "I think I speak for both of us when I say that her mind and smarts is what saved us on numerous tests and dangerous adventures. And, don't talk about her like that."

"Oh, alright," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "You're perfect for each other, do you know that?"

"Oh, Ron, stop it," Harry said sarcastically. "Be honest."

"I am." Harry sighed, giving him another look.

"What?" Ron asked, innocent. "I am being honest! You two are a match made in Heaven!"

"Thanks, Ron, but I told you to cut out your funny humor and sarcastic remarks today, okay?"

"Right, I haven't forgotten."

"Ron, I really need your help here! I don't know what I should do!"

"Well, what are your choices?"

"Do you think I should ask her? Or do you think that's too soon? Or do you think I should just… I don't know, Ron."

"Maybe… maybe you shouldn't ask her just yet, you know, to ask her to marry you. Maybe you should just date and see each other over the summer, and see how that goes. And, well, if you just have to have her as your wife and you can't wait another minute, then… I suggest you just go for it. Ask her."

Harry smiled weakly. "Thanks, Ron."

"Anytime, Harry. Glad to be of help. Though, all that thinking really did me in… Say, did it get quiet here all of a sudden?"

Harry looked around. People were still laughing, talking… But something really was missing….

Harry's gaze halted right in front of him, three absent seats staring back at him.

Harry sighed.

"Ron, where's Neville, Seamus and Ginny?"

"Well, I don't know. I was speaking to you. I guess they've probably sneaked out while we were talking."

"Well, that's never a good thing, is it? Neville and Seamus… I know Ginny's pretty strong and all that, but do you think she could hold off two boys from beating each other up?"

"I wouldn't worry about Neville, Harry… you know, I've had to be the one to hold them back at times… Neville's pretty flimsy and weak, you know?"

"Oh. Okay then."

"Sometimes, I think it's my sister who's doing all the protecting. That isn't good in a relationship. But well, Neville's always been… Neville."

"Ron, I really think we should look for them."

"Why?"

"Because you know how they are. And Ginny might not be able to do much this time."

"That's codswallop, Harry. Why, my sister could beat me up if she wanted to."

"Really? She could?"

"No."

"But you said she could."

"Yeah, but… I was joking." Harry saw the look on Ron's faced and laughed, realizing his little cover-up.

"Ron, come on. We have to go look for them."

"Fine, Harry. I don't understand why we always have to be the one who are doing these noble deeds and that nonsense. We should let Neville get beat up once in a while," Ron said, as they got up from the table. Harry glared at him.

"Ron!" he said.

"I said `once in a while'!" Harry sighed, shaking his head, as they made their way out of the Great Hall.

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Once again, this chapter was too big to upload into one chapter, so I had to split it in two.

GO ON TO NEXT CHAPTER!

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