AN: Sorry about the last chapter. If you all noticed, I changed the summary of the story. I discovered that it was way too wordy and I didn't like it so I changed it, but I still don't like it. I am just not one to write good summaries. So, if any of you have a better summary for me, please write it in when you review the chapter. ^_^ Thanks!
** Hermione's POV **
I cannot believe it! I have searched the entire apartment. I literally have the entire place turned upside down. I don't think I would really mind if it just disappeared off the face of the planet, but I do not even want to ponder the circumstance if it falls in the wrong hands, namely Theo.
A wise man once said "Never lie your secrets anywhere other than your own consciousness."
The wise man was right.
I keep getting this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that someone has it. Someone who shouldn't. This is bad. Theo and I had a little spat, and now has blown way out of proportion. If he finds it now, I might as well say hello to my new found spinster-hood. What makes things even worse is that he was right. I really cannot bring myself to say that I was right, despite the little know-it-all inside me really wants to.
It really wasn't my fault that I was late for dinner tonight. There was work at the ministry that needed to be done.
** ** **
"I am so sorry I am late, but there was some work at the ministry that had to be finished by
tomorrow."
"That's ok. It's ok. Let's just order already." His voice was a little harsh, and I could obviously tell that it was bothering him.
"You don't sound ok."
He visibly relaxed. "Well, I'm sorry. I've just had a bad day. Did a little too much thinking, that's all."
"What happened? Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Theo, you can't hide it from me. I can see it's bothering you. You can tell me."
He took a deep breath and gave out a long sigh. "Where do you think we are going in this relationship? I know we are engaged and we are going to be married soon and I couldn't be happier but it still feels like we haven't matured beyond dating. I know I love you, but I do not want our marriage to feel the same way."
"I am sorry. You know I would spend some more time with you. But there is just too much work at the ministry right now."
"How about this, why don't we go take off for a wonderful vacation... for two glorious weeks. We can come back, all relaxed and stress-free. We finish the rest of the work and wedding plans quickly and then we can enjoy another honeymoon together."
"Theo..."
"I know you just love to learn about the isolated marsupials in Australia , so we can go there. Then we can go to see the Great Barrier Reef and visit Sydney . We can take all those jungle tours that you always get excited about. Maybe we can see that crazy Steve Irwin, Crocodile hunter guy!" His eyes twinkled as he finished.
"I just can't right now. There's too much work at…"
"At the ministry! You are not the only one working there. I am sure they well manage just as well without you!"
"I will pretend I didn't just hear that! But you don't understand. They need me
there!"
"WELL, I NEED YOU, HERMIONE!!! This isn't supposed to be a chore for you to be with me!!! I am your bloody fiancée!!!' The entire restaurant turned t face us as he continued, 'I am sick and tired of being second place to work! I know you are important to the ministry! I know you have responsibilities. You have never placed work before your friends... but me? I am last place in your heart! It's like you love them more than you love me! Especially Harry!"
"This has nothing to do with Harry or any of them. This is between us, not them"
"Are you sure?" Anger flashed across his face as said it sharply.
"I'm sorry if you feel neglected Theo but…"
"I do not want to hear another apology out of you." With that and a loud pop, he was gone.
** ** **
And I started crying in the middle of the restaurant.
I have been yelled at before, but nothing has ever made it hurt as much this. Maybe it was because deep down inside, I know that it's true.
Just great! I am crying again. Things never seem to work my way do they? I definitely need another glass of wine, perhaps another bottle.
I have already sent out an owl to Theo telling him how sorry I am and how I am willing to go on that trip with him when things get a little hectic. I hope he understands. But he's right. We really do not spend nearly as much time together as newly engaged couples should. But for now, I just want him to start talking to me again.
~ Doorbell rings ~
Oh goodness! That must be Theo! He must have gotten my owl!
"Coming!!" I have to dry all these tears before he sees me. I do not want to look like a sniveling mess when he sees me and hopefully make up.
I open the door, but it's not Theo.
It's Harry.
Just great. One heartbreaker to another. This is exactly what I need today.
"Hi. Um… may I come in?"
I do not need this right now. I can't deal with him when he's the reason of all my troubles.
"Harry, I really isn't a good time. I'm expecting an owl from Theo."
Please go away. Please go away.
"I really have to talk to you. It's very important and if I don't talk to someone, I am going to explode."
"Then go talk to Ron."
"He's the reason why I have to talk to you."
Fine, I give up.
"Alright, come in."
He walks through the door and sits on the couch. He looks really troubled. Worse that I have seen before. I have never seen such an internal battle fight so desperately inside him with so much vigor before. At least, not since Voldemort. Somehow looking at him reminds me of the confused little boy I encountered at Hogwarts. Suddenly, my problems don't seem so important.
"What's wrong"
After a deep sigh, he stares at his hands and starts to talk.
"Well, there's this woman that I have loved for a long time now."
Oh god! I really cannot deal with this. I am going to self combust if he goes any further.
"HARRY!' That came out harsher than I expected, 'I cannot deal with your little relationship problems right now! I have my own to go through as is!"
"Hermione, please hear me out!" He grabs my hand as I stand up to get away from him. I can't get his grip loose.
"No, Harry. I am in no condition to listen to your relationship woes."
"You have to listen. This concerns you most of all."
FINE! I GIVE UP! I AM A TOTAL SUCKER AND A PUSHOVER OVER THE ONE I SECRETLY LOVE!! I REALLY AM HOPELESS!!
"You have five minutes."
A relieved expression plays across his face as his hand, still clutching mine, pulls me down to sit next to him.
He stares into my eyes and starts to talk. "There's this boy who has been in love with this girl for a long time. In fact, he has been in love with her since he first met her, when they were little eleven year olds, but he was so stupid that he never knew that the feelings he had for her was love. Genuine affection and love. Well, this girl loves him with all her heart too, but she waited for him so long that she eventually gave up on him and started dating another boy.' He took a deep breath, 'So when the boy finally found out that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this girl and no one else, she had already engaged to her boyfriend. One day, a friend of the boy and the girl found the girl's diary…"
Oh no. This cannot be happening. This cannot happen.
"And he told the boy that the girl never stopped loving him."
I cannot deal with two problems at once. I gave up on him. I did. I tried to stop loving him. I thought it was working.
It's not working. I can feel the tears build up behind my eyes again.
"Then the boy went to see the girl to tell her how he felt.' His eyes are gazing deeply into mine. 'If you were that girl, what would you say to him?"
Now I am just full out crying. This was never supposed to happen.
"Harry, I don't know…" He silences me with his finger. I can feel the calloused finger on my lips. It must have been from Quidditch practice.
"I am sorry that I never realized it before. I know you are confused."
That's the understatement of the century.
"But I love you and I can't picture myself without you anymore."
My tears blurred my vision. I can't really tell, but I think his eyes are asking for some sort of response that would be in his favour.
"Harry, I can't..."
He's kissing me. This isn't like the mistletoe kiss we shared during Christmas. It was full of fire and passion. I don't think I have ever been kissed like this before in my life. I can feel my hair at the back of my neck standing on its end. I'm running my fingers through his messy raven locks. I can feel his hand on my cheek brushing away the tears.
I can feel him trying to break away from the kiss as though he is reluctant to break the physical bond between us. At least I am not the only one who feels that way.
He's looking, no staring at me with this look filled with desire. Not the type of desire you would associate with lust and hunger. But, desiring me to love him in return. It feels like a question, begging for a response.
I do not know what I am doing. I just know I have to do this. If I don't, I will regret it one way or another. I put my and on his cheek and pull his lips down to mine in a sweet and tender kiss.
I can feel his arms shift as he breaks the kiss and lifts me up like a cheesy romance novel. He carries me into my bedroom and kicks the bedroom door closed behind him.
~ The next morning ~
I do not want to open my eyes. If I was dreaming, I never want to wake up. If I wake up, I do not want to be jolted into the harsh reality that these large strong arms around me are just a figment of my over active imagination.
I want to wake up knowing that it wasn't all a dream. I want to wake up knowing that his arms will still be around me. I want to wake up looking at his wonderfully intense green eyes.
Last night was… wow. It was just… wow. Never thought the former head girl would be this speechless. It felt like he was worshipping me like a goddess. I felt so beautiful in his hands.
"Good Morning, lovely lady." He's kissing my neck and it tickles. There he goes again using his Harry Potter charm and wakes me up much like Theo does in the morning.
Theo
THEO!!! OH SHIT!!!
"OH SHIT!!" I immediately jump out of his embrace and start pacing around the room.
"Hermione, calm down."
"Calm down? CALM DOWN?? I just fucking cheated on my fiancée and loved every minute of it!!"
Where does he get the balls to tell me to calm down?
"Do you still plan on marrying him after what we just shared? In case you didn't get the memo, I don't plan on letting you go! This isn't a one night stand, Hermione!!" He yells while getting dressed.
"Oh really? Because I am sure you have had enough one night stands to tell the difference!"
I shouldn't have said that. I really shouldn't have said that.
"FINE! IF YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THEO, YOU GO AHEAD! BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. EVERYTIME YOU ARE EVER WITH THEO, YOU ARE GOING TO THINK OF ME AND HOW MUCH WE ARE MEANT FOR EACHOTHER!"
Nothing. I have nothing to say to that.
"WHAT? NOTHING TO SAY NOW? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" A loud pop and he's gone.
I walk out to the kitchen. I really need some coffee.
There are no less than seven owl on the kitchen counter, all from Theo. And my diary. I crawl into a fetal position against the wall.
What have I done?
AN: Ok, this chapter is done, I can go onto studying now. It has been bugging me for the past 2 days. So I decided to quickly finish it and get back to my studies. And now it's done. I can only hope that I have enough time to study for my midterms. I had so many inspirations for the chapter that I think it would be unfair not to list at least a few of the ones I remember. Ok, remember that guy from blue's clues? You know, Steve Burns? Well, in case you didn't know, he's not dead and has an indie CD out named 'songs for dustmites'. It's a great CD and 'A Reason' is a great contributor to this chapter and others following it. I highly advise people to go out and check out his CD because he needs all the publicity he can get. Not that talking to an animated puppy would get him the recognition he wanted. So check him out! Go to his concert tours!
Ok, please review this chapter. I really really really want reviews for it. Mainly because it's the longest chapter I have ever written. Should I write longer chapters like this more often? Pleeeeaaaase review!!